Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County bad behavior along with Vicki Gunvalson's swollen face and insane hair continued to haunt us. She got allll that work done on her face and she couldn't throw in a keratin treatment to deep condition that straw weave she had attached to her head? Dyed-N-Fried.
With all the renovations and double-dealing and lies and dastardly deeds and attention seeking manipulation plots she was accused of, Vicki didn't have time to get her nose done AND her hair. To think all this time I thought she was just a neurotic insurance salesperson. No rest for the wicked, eh?
We resume at Heather Dubrow's glambake. Heather instructs Tamra Barney on how to eat a lobster. Of course since Tamra is saltier than lobster brine she has to make a sex joke out of Heather's instructions when she says to bite on the lobster leg until it "comes in your mouth." Tamra brays across the table like a donkey with a bullhorn about how FANCY PANTS MADE A SEX JOKE. Why doesn't she just wear a sign that says: 'I'm desperate for attention and have no manners!'
Discreetly Heather crosses Tamra's name off the future invites list. Vicki may look like a mutant person with the face of Bride of Frankenstein but at least she talks quietly and uses inside voices at Heather's!
It was another big night on the longest running season of Teen Mom 2 EVER. Kailyn Lowry contemplated marriage, while Leah Messer Sims Calvert considered letting her biological dad be a part of wedding number two. Jenelle Evans had a hearing for her domestic abuse charges, and Chelsea Houska (surprise, surprise) dropped out of school took a leave of absence from beauty school.
Kailyn and Javi decided not to get married in Las Vegas. Instead, they plan to wait until after he's been accepted into the Air Force. She calls to wish him luck on his entrance exam, and he immediately calls back to tell her that he's passed. Kailyn offers to take him to a nice dinner to celebrate.
Jenelle and Kieffer are back nesting, but she's worried about the assault charges which have been pressed against both of them. She meets her friend for lunch and explains the situation. She's done with Gary…he even took her engagement ring off her finger before the cops arrested them. Jenelle is happy to have moved on with a more stable Kieffer. What? More stable than he was three episodes ago? Get it together, Jenelle!
Chelsea is missing classes because she has mono, but she's hanging out with a friend who has two children…one is Aubree's age. They discuss what is going on with Adam and custody, and Chelsea is getting less whiny with each passing week. Plus, her hair looks so much better dark–it seems she's finally getting herself together!
Dear Mona Scott-Young, You will never be Andy Cohen, and VH1 will never be Bravo. You don't need to draw out your reality show seasons with multiple reunions. One is sufficient. Heck, most of the time with Andy's ladies, one is enough. Sincerely, Lauren. P.S. Please give Andy some tricks on how to stay in control of the reunion. Kthanksbubye!
On last night's Love & Hip Hop reunion, Mona introduces the ladies, and it's actually the only time they have all been in the same place at the same time. Poor Winter didn't make the stage, but she barely made any scenes either, so I'd say she's lucky to be on the front row with Professor Budden, Olivia Longott, Rich Dollaz, and Consequence. Mona can't wait to play Joe's favorite game of Truth or Truth after reminding us about the serious topics the show tackled like screaming, throwing drinks, being hos, and ripping out weave drug addiction, jail time, race, and religion.
We're treated to quite the violent montage, and then Mona asks Rashidah Ali why she called Mendeecees Harris a clown. Mona is clearly sticking up for her protege Yandy Smith, and Rashidah starts going off on how she used to sleep with Mendeecees, and he used to talk about Yandy behind her back. The always classy Yandy requests that Rashidah keep Mendeecees out of her accusations since he isn't around to defend himself. Rashidah agrees to stick with facts…Mendeecees has the smallest penis she's ever seen. Yandy doesn't justify her comments. Instead, Yandy blames Winter for going back and stirring the pot with Rashidah.
Last week on Married to Medicine, a lot of feathers were ruffled when Quad Webb-Lunceford and Kari Wells repeatedly circled the cuckoo's nest verbally attacked one another. Taking the feud to the next level, Kari uninvited Quad from an upcoming party that she's throwing with Quad's BFF Mariah Huq. Needless to say, Mariah takes issue with Kari's sneaky move, and we get to see the fall out from that this week.
Tension runs thick while Mariah and Kari shop for wine for the party. The issue with Quad aside, Mariah slowly loses her patience with Kari, who she thinks is acting like a know-it-all wine snob. When Mariah dislikes one of the heavier wines, Kari jokes that Mariah only likes Château Le Douche from the Massengill Valley. Mariah fails to find the humor in Kari's wisecrack, adding, "She thinks I'm a fool!"
Mariah finally confronts Kari about uninviting Quad from the party when there's a mention of the party's guest list. Kari stands her ground; she doesn't want Quad's drama in her home. When Mariah asks Kari why she's so upset, Kari reminds her that Quad ridiculed and slandered her in front an entire group of doctors and doctor's wives. To the camera, Mariah admits, she feels as if Kari deserved what she got because she never gave Quad a chance. But, at the same time, Quad needs to reign in the over-the-top drama.
Prime example of the antics and relations that I want more of:
Thanks to the tanning, clothing and hair "emergencies" suffered by her two adult daughters, Harvin and Meyer Eadon, every month, Virginia Kolb is feeling more Big Broke Atlanta than Big Rich Atlanta. The woman looks like she needs a grey goose martini (straight up with a lemon twist) while paying bills and reviewing Harvin and Meyer's spending habits.
Apparently,Harvin and Meyer each receive a weekly allowance of $1,000 from Virginia. Must be nice, right? Then, there's a separate fund for Harvin and Meyer to pull from if a killer sale happens an emergency strikes, haha. When Virginia calls attention to the fact that the sisters spent over $7,000 on "emergencies" the month prior, Meyer cries, "It's a full-time job trying to look good!" And here I thought the only hair emergencies in Atlanta involved a dustpan and broom.
Last night was the first installment of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. Kenya Moore lived in the hot seat this reunion as she got it from all the ladies (even Andy Cohen!), so that must explain why she was constantly fanning herself. Reunions By Krayonce!
This whole reunion could be photo-capped with the fantastic facial expressions of both Phaedra Parks and Krayonce. Everybody knows a picture is worth 1000 words. Both ladies threw shade at each other up one side and down the other, but Phaedra and her legalese definitely trumped Miss WHO-S-A. Sorry!
Kenya brought two accessories besides a full arsenal of nonsense: a fan and illusion netting. Illusion netting!
Girl was also shades of radioactive orange not found in nature that only seemed to glow more and more ominously as the snark got heaped on her in spades. Kenya was twisting like a tornado trying to twirl her way out of the insults. As Phaedra pointed out, that fan was a weak defense and she better have something stronger if she wants to battle!
Last night was the season finale of Mob Wives which focused on a throwback party for Drita D'avanzo. Not surprisingly, the women went out with a bang–and of course, a brawl! When it comes to Karen Gravano, Ramona Rizzo, Carla Facciolo, and Renee Graziano, I think the women have grown a bit since seasons past. For me,Big Angis always on point with her advice. As for Love Majewski, she seriously frightened me when she said she wanted to go "bath salts zombie face-eating" on Carla. Chills!
Ramona and Karen are shopping for some '80s clothes for Drita's birthday bash. While looking through the acid-washed jeans and sequins, they rehash Karen's pre-nup party. Karen promises her friend that she wasn't trying to bash her wedding with the party, and the two become concerned that Love is going to beat up Carla at Drita's party. Karen thinks she'll be able to wrangle her friend so the night won't end with someone in an ambulance and someone else in handcuffs…and she knows how bad a night like that is from experience!
Carla is meeting with her soon-to-be-ex-husband Joe so they can discuss their divorce proceedings. She's not as concerned about their break-up as she is about Love's gossip. Joe is floored to find out that Love thinks he and his father stole her angel wings logo. Carla tells him about Drita's birthday party, and he urges her not to get involved in the ladies' cattiness. After all, she's a mother! Joe gives good advice, but I'll be surprised if Carla actually heeds it.
Tonight on The Rachel Zoe Project, we saw Rachel Zoe and family head off to New York to do some light penthouse shopping and pow-wow with the shoe gods.Rodger Berman went on lunchy-lunch man dates, complained about his wife and shockingly didn’t work. At RZ headquarters, the employees made the most of their Rachel freedom by rolling around on fur rugs, binging on chocolate Eiffel towers and giggling about fanny pack fashion suicide.
The episode begins with Rachel and Rodger in bed snuggling. Rachel is not a fan of Rodger’s snuggles, she seizes the opportunity and conveniently brings up apartment shopping in New York. Snuggle moment immediately blows up like a grenade and Rachel is secretly pleased at her sneaky tactics to avoid physical contact with her husband. #HappilyEverAfter. The happy couple begins to bicker about everything New York related. Rachel argues that all the travel back and forth is taking its toll on her and she is at her limit. Rodger believes this is just a ploy so his fashion happy other half won’t have to make hotel bookings anymore. Realistic much?