Recaps

Real Housewives of Atlanta recap

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta is a cautionary tale of what happens when you love a man who is so, so wrong – from Sheree Whitfield writing a book about all the ways Bob has done her so, so wrong to Cynthia Bailey returning to Peter Thomas and realizing that leaving him was so, so right.

And then there is Kenya Moore.

On the other side of the spectrum, freed from the clutches of one felonious fool, Phaedra Parks is happily clutching her pearls while smirking the good fortune that has fallen into her lap. Or into her law office, rather, and it’s not a bomb threat this time. And Porsha Williams continues her travels backwards in maturity by sneaking her boyfriend into her mom’s house for a little late-night nookie (with Yoni balls).

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cbb day 4 1

So here we are, Celebrity Big Brother fans, day 4 in the house which is actually the footage of the daytime footage of the last recap.

Watergate is still weighing on the minds of the housemates.  Austin is in the diary room talking about Heidi and Spencer, Stacy and Ray J are  in the garden talking about Heidi and Spencer, and Heidi and Spencer are in the bedroom talking about Austin (They missed the memo).

ray-j-3

Well tonight looks like the night the niceties vanish and stuff gets real on Celebrity Big Brother.  Firstly we have the viewer warning and then the trailers of arguments and new additions (and if the rumors are to be believed, Speidi are not going to know what’s hit them).

So on with the show.  Straight off, Stacy’s doing that breaking into song thing again.  Which is getting really tired now.  One minute talking, next minute booming out a note.  If she’s not doing that, she’s talking about Whitney Houston.  Again.  At least this time she’s actually talking to Ray J about it rather than about him.  Thankfully she stops blasting her tunes long enough to have a deep conversation about Whitney’s death and Ray J admits he blames himself, as he had gone to get shoes for a night out and took too long so was running late.  A sad conversation which thankfully the housemates treated with respect, decency and tact.  Ray J is clearly upset afterwards and seeks solace in the diary room, visibly distressed.  Such a shame.

cbb day 2 rayj

Day 2 in the Celebrity Big Brother house and Ray J is waking up on the sofa because apparently it’s disrespectful to a spouse to share a bed with someone. Has this guy seen the show? Or get any warning what Big Brother entails whatsoever? He needs a word with his manager…if sharing a bed with male or female is this much of an issue, he has some shocks coming his way while he’s here.

We’re still at the stage of the game where everyone is feeling each other out, and weighing each other up. Bianca Gascoigne has a very deep and meaningful conversation about her father with Nicola McLean and Jasmine Waltz (who has been suspiciously quiet so far – the whole thing is like Jenga, when you prod and tease at the blocks to see which is the easiest to bring the whole thing down).  Unfortunately, the meaningful conversation is wasted on me as Bianca appears to have metal spikes down the parting of her hair. Like, what the…?! Does she sleep with that in?? Does it not snag?? Does she wake up in a pool of feathers and a ripped pillow cases?? How bizarre.

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Celebrity Big Brother

Here we go, day one of the Celebrity Big Brother antics and the teasers are showing Speidi (Heidi and Spencer Pratt) up to their normal camera-stealing, attention-loving, drama-craving tricks. Oh, wait… Am I meant to be neutral and unbiased? Oops.

So we left yesterday with beige tracksuit-wearing Stacy Francis being sent to the garden, whilst the All-Stars returned to the house to meet up with the remainder of the Newbies. The house is abuzz with the news that Ray J and Stacy have a history (although unknown as yet what that is), and if she doesn’t have enough reasons to justify her tears and bird-giving, Spencer and Heidi enter the garden to tell Stacy to sit on the specific ‘edited out’ chair and other ‘comforting’ pearls of wisdom (must be neutral…must be neutral…think happy thoughts…).

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It's Dorit's World

Well, as always, Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills has come down to a matter of miscommunication about what someone said versus what they meant to covey.

What is up with Dorit Kemsley? I mean, she gives good TV since we’re all going to be talking about her, but, err, uhh… she is not a  good look for Lisa Vanderpump, and I don’t think this is what Lisa was going for when she got Dorit cast. So, Peek-K looked up Erika Girardi‘s skirt, and after grilling my husband relentlessly about the possibility of PK’s view, I’ve decided I agree with Erika that it’s probably not possible that PK got full-vajaynejayne throughout dinner as he claimed. Erika, though, is pissed that Dorit told everyone about it, then handled it by handing her some “full coverage” underwear. Of all the insults – to assume ERIKA JAYNE wears full coverage?! As if! When completely sheer = granny panties, you know you’ve gone to the Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory for aging trophy wives with celebrity ambitions.

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Celebrity Big Brother

So Christmas is over, New Year’s resolutions are still in those baby stages of not being broken, and it is that time of year where you guys send over your finest (?!) celebrities to put in the Celebrity Big Brother mixing pot for thirty days to simmer, annoy, and show us Brits how to do Reality TV.

I have had the pleasure of watching Big Brother for many years (although I’ve still not forgiven you for the offense-to-the-ears intrusion that was Perez Hilton), and we seem to have more and more input from our friends on your side of the ocean, so I thought it only fair I keep you updated on the activities on our side.

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Ladies Of London Recap: Tiaras Make You Tipsy

It’s a royal circus this week as the Ladies Of London celebrate the queen’s birthday – by getting tipsy and arguing in the street! Just as her highness would wish. Long live the drama! When Juliet Angus takes Caroline Fleming and Caroline Stanbury on a pub crawl through the East End, they decide to call each other out on important issues like who eats fruit and why. Across town, Sophie Stanbury gets her groove back on a tipsy outing with Marissa Hermer, who feigns shock at this “new Sophie” on the prowl. Marissa also takes issue with some of the ladies giving her the side eye over leaving baby Sadie at home just weeks after a difficult delivery.

But before that mess begins, Marissa and Sadie visit Caroline F for a stroll and a coffee. Marissa, who reminds us she’s still not allowed to have sex postpartum, is ready to party (within reason). She and Caroline discuss Caroline’s sister, who Marissa is very close with – and who’s also moved back to Denmark. They move to the topic of Caroline S, who’s “not herself” lately, according to word on the street. The street that Marissa lives on, at least.

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