Congratulations, dear readers. We did it. And more importantly, we did it together. We survived yet another season of Abby Lee Miller’s shenanigans on Dance Moms (not counting the reunion, of course…that will be a gem!). Pat yourself on the back. You are stronger than you thought you could be. After last week, the Nationals soloists were up in the air, but finally we got see some amazing drama–and even better dancing!
The finale episode begins with Abby corralling the girls to hype up Nationals and poo-poo the ALDC’s track record thus far this season. Jill hopes that Abby will focus and become the leader the team needs, but learning the Jeanette’s team is competing has her off her rocker per the usual. Abby is stressed about the studio opening, and Jessalyn wonders how in the world it will be finished in time. JoJo is on the bottom of the pyramid for constantly needing corrections, followed by MacKenzie. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being “okay.” Kalani is third on the pyramid for placing third in the competition, with Maddie holding down the second spot. Woo hoo! A deserving Nia tops the pyramid for being the overall high scoring solo. Finally.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County the ladies played Bravo’s most popular game: She/said-She/Said. The winner was Meghan Edmonds, who claimed the ‘Pot Stirrer Meet Kettle’ award. Because honestly, accusing someone else of being a pot stirrer in defense of Tamra Judge is absolutely ludicrous beyond belief!
As is always the case on vacations Tamra and Vicki Gunvalson can’t keep it in their pants… their bodily functions that is. After a night of binge drinking Tamra, Vicki, and Shannon Beador are in no condition to go on an underwater excursion. As Tamra termed it she can’t stop s#*!ing herself. Can we get Tamra and Vicki some sort of potty training refresher course? Meanwhile not even the nebulizer can clear out Shannon’s brain.
Heather Dubrow, wearing DENIM CUTOFFS (it was like an alien sighting — but she looked great), barges in to try to rally them, but even her assurances that she had Depends and wipes in her Birkin couldn’t get Vicki and Shannon to come along. Tamra dragged herself aboard the bus and worked diligently not to poop her 1992 Hair Band video vixen hot pink one-piece during the boat trip.
Last night was another phenomenal installment of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Between Lil’ Scrappy threatening to overthrow Momma Dee’s monarchy just days before her wedding to Ernest to Stevie J. and the boys taking a fishing trip, it was one for the books. It begins with Kirk Frost surprising Rasheeda with a store front. He knows he’s been in the doghouse a lot lately, and he hopes it will put him back in her good graces. Rasheeda is over the moon excited by Kirk’s gesture, and she’s even more thrilled to learn she’s at one of the ritziest malls in the city. I’m guessing Lenox Square, and to that I say, good job Kirk!
As his mother’s wedding draws closer, Scrappy is summoned by his sister Jasmine who is still not on board with the nuptials. She breaks the news that Dee is getting married sooner rather than later, and she’s got Erica Dixon and Bambi as bridesmaids. Scrappy can’t believe his mom isn’t having a long engagement, and why is she putting his ex and his current boo in her wedding? They hate each other…not to mention, he and Erica aren’t on the best terms at the moment.
And so begins the downfall of Draya Michele. Last night’s Basketball Wives LA centered on a girls’ trip helmed by Brandi Maxiell to Santa Barbara. Why, after so, so, so many times of going on these mini-vacays, a knock-down-drag-out fight ensuing, and the inevitable dread that comes from rehashing said trip at the reunion, do these women think this time will be different? Jackie Christie is stirring the pot as fast as she can, and even the girls who vowed to dislike her forever believe every word that comes out of her exaggerating mouth. It’s comedy gold.
In an effort to bring Angel Brinks into the mix, Draya has invited her to come along as someone who can save her from her friends’ drama. Angel is like a mini-Kardashian, and Draya wants to give her the low down on the ladies with whom they will be traveling. She shares that Shaunie O’Neal isn’t keen on strangers infiltrating their group even though Shaunie herself is considered a newbie according to Draya. Next, Draya mean girls Mehgan James. Angel can’t wait for the weekend!
Well, ’tis a season of change on Flipping Out. Do not ask for whom the bell tolls! It tolls for Intern Joe. As Jeff moves into his new Hollywood space, Joe moves on to greener pastures, or at least pastures that don’t abut Jeff Lewis properties.
Gramercy is closing and tensions are high as Jeff flips out at Jenni Pulos for allegedly closing gates, not tracking Joe’s trash bags, and for breathing too much air in Jeff’s general vicinity. All of Jeff’s personal items fit into one Rubbermaid bin, which says a lot about his feelings on chotchkies. And life. While he may not be sentimental about things, he is sentimental about leaving Gramercy, once touted as his “forever” house that he and Gage Edward lovingly redesigned. (Is it weird that I’m sad too? <sniff>) Zoila Chavez, for one, is not going to miss Gramercy or its 50 steps she must climb everyday.
Well, we survived the premiere episode of Little Women: LA, which revealed a leaner, meaner Tonya Banks coming hard for newbie Jasmine Sorge, who Tonya claims to have some long-standing beef with over a social media faux pas with her ex-boyfriend Trevore. Fellow newbie Brittney “Freakabritt” Guzman also dropped a nuclear bomb on Terra Jole and Tonya last week that rocked their worlds: Elena Gant used to “date” Brittney’s father while married to Saint Preston the Longsuffering, according to Brittney. So the season was set with some ratchet tension right off the bat! And last night’s episode continued the theme of Messiness with a capital M.
Briana Manson is back with Matt, a move that doesn’t sit well with her friends or family. She and Christy McGinty go shopping for lingerie and…sex toys? They tie each other up and slap each other around a bit before getting into a deeper conversation about Christy and Todd’s IVF plans. Briana is shocked to hear they’ll be choosing an average sized embryo rather than a little person (since Christy already has two children who are little people), but Christy wants the healthiest baby possible and stands by her decision. Side note, Christy looks the best she’s ever looked in her talking heads! #beautifulinblue
Carole Radziwill is back in the USA after nearly being arrested by TSA for smuggling undeclared Clarins hand cream through security. The urn “which looked like a bomb” (from the Hindenburg era) bearing her late husband’s ashes – oh that was fine, thanks to Dorinda Medley‘s giant fur coat which happily ensconced the precious cargo. Things you learn from Housewives: always pack giant fur coats when attempting to smuggle goods through TSA.
Heather Thomson, ever the supportive friend to all, is happy to hear that not only was Carole’s trip a success in finding closure, but that Anthony’s return has finally completed the design scheme in Carole’s remodeled apartment. Hi honey, I’m home!
Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel? After last night’s episode the season finale of Dance Moms is finally within our reach! Thanks for hanging in there with me…I know sometimes Abby Lee Miller makes it a tad difficult! Maddie has pretty much solidified her solo at Nationals, and last night Abby pitted Kalani against Nia for another spot in the competition, with a side of some major drama…per the usual!
Kira is feeling better after last week’s pregnancy scare, and the moms are glad to have her back and ready to face MDP. Holly is fearful that the ALDC is going to become the MDP’s version of the Candy Apples. Jill is missing from pyramid because she’s back home at her daughter’s graduation. She has left Kendall in Melissa’s care in Los Angeles. Before announcing the pyramid, Abby is thrilled about the grand opening of the West Coast ALDC studio, but she lectures the girls on their priorities. She doesn’t think most are ready for Nationals.