Recaps

sister wives christine truley

Hey! Remember on last week’s Sister Wives when Kody got showered in waste at the RV park? Good times for sure! The Browns are on their way across country to meet a Christian polygamist family whose faith isn’t rooted in Mormon principles. This guy is living Kody’s dream. He once got his wife to bake for him and then complained while she was baking that she wasn’t available to cuddle. What will remedy that? Another wife! Who is this guy and how stupid are his wives? 

Kody is sporting a fancier version of his usual denim button down. It’s got embroidery on it. Christine is a bit wary about driving across country to meet a family they don’t know. Janelle is happy to mingle with like-minded people. In the dark of night, the families meet, and Kody is beside himself trying to impress the cool Nathaniel Richard and his wives. From what I gather, he only has two wives. They admit to living a secret life, but the Richards share that there are a lot of plural families living in Missouri.

The Richards kids channel their best Sound of Music as they march their way through roll call. The families share a Passover meal where they celebrate (?) beasts and boils. Nathaniel is only thirty-three, and the Brown wives remember just how bright-eyed and idealistic Kody was at his age. From what I gather, the Richard family won’t be getting a spin-off any time soon. They aren’t hip even by Meri standards, and one of the wives is sporting a straight-up banana clip. Someone get this lady a scrunchie so we can at least bring her into the early 90s! 

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 Game of Crowns cast

They’re called Mrs. Pageants. And they look like they’re going to be the perfect combo of women-of-a-certain-age shellacking themselves and each other into dresses and hairpieces, meaty husbands supporting (threatening?) them in the background, poor-man’s Vegas costumes, and a healthy sprinkling of good ole fashioned backstabbing.  Game of Crowns is a hot mess, missus style.

We meet Vanassa Sebastian first, the alpha female of the group, a breast cancer survivor and Native American from the Passamaquoddy tribe. Vanassa is no pageant virgin, having competed and placed in a former Mrs. America pageant, and formerly won Mrs. Connecticut. Vanassa’s husband, Brian, co-owns Foxwood Resort & Casino (Where my uncle goes to play the dollar slots on the regular. My aunt does not approve. Foxwoods is spoken of in hushed tones in our family circle.).

rhonj-season-5-cast

Are yous ready for this? Real Housewives of New Jersey is ba-ack this Sunday. Before we dive into the new New Jersey, let’s rehash last season so we’re all prepared. Undoubtedly the theme for season five was Love & Fight. The cast made amends and broke up every other episode!

We were promised a season of family reunification but it was really more of the same old family crucification. The cast took their battling, bickering, and brawling all across the USA since Juicy was banned from international travel via his bail agreement #FlightRisk, where they attempted to mend fences with therapists, magic pony rides, and “truthing” exercises. And it all came crashing down again when they took a little venture to The Land of Posche.

In the end, we ended up right back where we started, but at least Bravo fired some people and a new cast might bring new dramas. Here’s hoping! Oh – and Teresa Giudice got indicted, so that’s also something new.

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Catfish Season 3 finale Episode 10- Bianca and Brogan

I can’t believe that it’s already the season finale of Catfish! I’m sad that I joined you mid-season—hopefully I’ll be back!

We’ve returned to the land of ridiculously named twenty-somethings, aka the land of Catfish. Nev gets an email from Bianca- a girl who has been talking to another girl over the internet named Brogan. Bianca fell in love with Brogan because Bianca is really into body modification and Brogan’s pictures depicted her with a lot of tattoos. Bianca felt an instant connection with Brogan, but had never wanted to video chat with her because she thought it would be awkward. Then, all of a sudden, Brogan vanished into thin air. She deleted her Facebook and stopped answering her calls.

chad carroll freaks out on million dollar listing miami

Last night on Million Dollar Listing Miami our brokers dealt with disappointment – and some handled it with class and some handled it with tantrums more nasty than the ones my toddler throws.

On the other side of the spectrum, Sam DeBianchi continued to bug as she gloated and tried to get camera time by slamming her fellow agents.

Chris Leavitt is working with Senada on a co-listing for a fabulous condo in Boca Raton. He’s calling every agent he knows who can bring the high-end jet set clientele to their open house, which is actually comprised of hosting the Miss Boca pageant. Chris was worried the event wouldn’t be classy – it wasn’t – but it certainly made a splash – bikinis not withstanding – and attracted a lot of attention.

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little-women1

My wish from last week’s episode of Little Women LA came true and we were given a whole lot of Traci Harrison this week. Sadly, it was not the Traci I was hoping for. We will get into this more as we dive into this week’s episode that includes wedding drama, straying boyfriends, and babies!

The show kicks off with Christy McGinty and Todd warehouse shopping. Christy cracks a joke that warehouse shopping and little people could result in “death by shopping.” I love that Christy doesn’t let her size hold her back. We always see her climbing to reach stuff at stores and man-handling items that are close to the same size as her. Good for her! Christy brings up setting a date for the wedding to Todd, but then mentions that she wouldn’t mind eloping. Todd considers the idea because this will be a second marriage for both of them until Christy brings up the fact that she hated her last wedding. Todd says that this would be an opportunity for her to do everything the way she wants if they were to have a big wedding and Christy is easily persuaded.

ramona singer cries over mario

Last night our ladies of the Empire State were finally back where they belonged – in Manhattan! Despite the calming days in Montana, a key Real Housewives of New York friendship is seeming to detonate!

Much like Survivor, these ladies are stranded on an island and forced into alliances. But Sonja Morgan is switching up the game. While interviewing a new intern in her backyard (which we so do not care about in the least), she’s wearing a fabulous military-inspired dress and preparing for friendship warfare. Into the garden wanders Aviva Drescher. Long time no see – and not missed!

Sonja immediately lobs a grenade – the entire trip all the girls were talking about Aviva (They were?) – but worst of all was Ramona Singer who accused Aviva of lying about asthma because she is afraid to travel without Reid.

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shannon and vicki dance on the bar in mexico

Last night in on Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki took everything she learned from watching Oprah and Couples Therapy and put it to good use on Shannon Beador's imploding marriage and Tamra Barney's bad friend ways. The result… dare I say, was successful-ish. Vicki Gunvalson, Love Tank Whisperer? You know what they say: those who can't do, teach! 

After Shannon holds up dinner for hours and hours with a crying whining meltdown on the beach (I hope she didn't get sand in her eyes), over her marital discord, she and David agree to try and get along on the trip if David would agree to switch to organic tequila. Of course, in secret, David called the authorities and started the process for a 5150 psychiatric hold for Shannon. Then he chugged his tequila – and suddenly all Brooks Ayers' words of Hallmark wisdom (seriously how many Lifetime Movies does this guy watch?!) made sense. Brooks toasted to forgetting the past because we know he wants errrryone to forget his and they all headed to Andeles, Vicki's Mecca. 

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