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Maybe Lifetime has no intention of ever ending this season of Dance Moms.  Since Abby Lee Miller despises the moms so much, you'd think she'd want to put a cap on the number of episodes I have to watch, er, um, I mean, in which she has to participate! 

The ALDC is back in Pennsylvania, and Abby is proud of her dancers' showing in Vegas.  MacKenzie finds herself at the bottom of the pyramid for being absent, followed by Paige for forgetting her solo.  Abby does, however, compliment her performance in the group number.  Brooke is one step above her sister, although Abby doesn't think that her solo showcased Brooke's true talent.  Nia rounds out the bottom for excelling in rehearsals but flubbing up in competition.  When Nia blames her hat for her dancing woes, Abby tells the story of a man whose hand was severed during a show, but the dancers around him didn't miss a beat.  Same thing.

Kendall is last on the second tier, and she admits her nerves got the best of her.  Abby advises her to exude confidence regardless so she's the one intimidating others, and she reminds Kendall not to watch the soloists before her.  Chloe is in third for flying under the radar, followed by Maddie for shining in the group number.  The undefeatable Asia is in the top spot.  The girls will be traveling to Regionals in Buffalo, and their group number will be hoedown themed.  MacKenzie will have a solo, and Abby makes sure to get in a few digs about how she's still in Asia's shadow.

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Teen Mom is back, y'all, and it's just as depressing as ever. 

Last week on Teen Mom 3 – aka Teen Baby Daddy DramaMackenzie Douthit failed to notice Josh McKee's obvious lack of interest, and Alex Sekella screamed at Matt McCann incessantly.

Also, Katie Yeager accepted Joey Maes's marriage proposal, and Briana DeJesus took legal action against Devoin Austin for cyber bullying.

Oh, and if you turned your TV at just the right angle and closed one eye, you saw the Teen Moms caring for their precious babies almost as passionately as they begged their boyfriends to love them. This week: rinse and repeat. 

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So, third time's the charm for Tamra Barney?  I guess she'll be the judge…literally!  Last night was the first installment of Tamra's OC Wedding limited series, and Eddie better hope his recent legal woes don't break the bank…because Tamra's wedding is definitely going to leave a mark on his account!  Three dresses, a wild bachelor party, and drama galore later, we know that Tami and Ed do make it down the aisle.

It's been Tamra's dream to get married at the St. Regis, and a cancellation is about to make that happen.  Tamra has enlisted celebrity wedding planner Diane Valentine. She did Usher's wedding, y'all!  As they tour the venue with Diane and her man of honor, Tamra is beyond ready for her big day.

Back at the couple's gym, Eddie is channeling his inner Shaun T.  Tamra reveals that they have an opening at the St. Regis…in five weeks.  Eddie can't understand why they need a giant production after they've both already been married.  Tamra whines that she's never had a big wedding, and she deserves it!  After all, she's already practiced twice.

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When we last left the ladies of Basketball Wives, Tami Roman had enlisted Suzie Ketcham to do her bidding in breaking down new girl Tasha Marbury while she sipped on her lukewarm Bud Lite and hoped for crazy drama  As last night's episode began, Evelyn Lozada and Shaunie O'Neal avert their eyes as Suzie questions Tasha about her husband's rumored affair.  Instead of getting defensive or starting to scream and throw things, Tasha calmly says that yes, it did happen, and she's not going to lie about it.  She stays classy and keeps her cool.  Remind me again why she's on this show?

Tami then has the nerve to tell Tasha that she can't believe how rude Suzie was to ask the question.  Tasha knows that it comes with the lifestyle, and Tami is shocked to learn that Tasha and Stephon did pay off the mistress.  Evelyn is just happy that her friend was able to keep the energy from going to that negative place the ladies are so used to going.

The following day, Evelyn and Suzie are cruising the Hudson and discussing the dinner's events.  Suzie admits that she felt badly for rehashing Tasha's marital issues, and she wants to clear the air with the new girl in hopes of forging a new friendship.  In Central Park, Tami and Shaunie are also discussing the evening.  Tami learned from Tasha that Shaunie and Evelyn told her that things could go really badly with Tami at their initial meeting.  Tami confronts her friend about painting her in a negative light. While Shaunie understands where Tami is coming from, she still stands by her statement.  After all, the women got along didn't they?

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rhom-reacap

Three things you need to know about the Real Housewives of Miami:

1) They do not know the definition of the word "hypocrite" (I think this is a trait that expands across all Housewives domains). 

2) They don't understand "good manners" (Minding your Ps & Qs is not a Housewives forte).

3) They are baaaad actresses! 

With that being said, let's dive into this nonsense and rip apart the episode. It all begins with Joanna Krupa dry humping Romain Zago in front of their braaaand neeeeew rented swimming pool! 

Romain is on a mission to surprise Joanna left and right on Bravo's dime for a storyline. I mean Joanna needs to serve some purpose on this show besides looking amazing and hating Adriana de Moura, right?! First Romain surprised her with a car and now a new house he rented for them to live in as husband and wife.

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On last night's Sister Wives, Kody Brown, along with wives Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn, address audience questions, and not surprisingly, hypocrisy abounds.  Discussing the clothing worn by the daughters, Kody reveals that he wants his girls to dress conservatively.  The boys don't need to see their goods.  Mykelti thinks that the teenage years are the time to experiment with style, and Hunter certainly doesn't have a problem with girls at his school dressing in tight shirts.

Speaking of tight, the kids are then asked if they like how their father dresses.  His jeans are far too tight, but Kody shares he's got the body for it, and his wives love seeing his buns in that snug denim.  I just threw up in my mouth a bit…

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Therapy by Bravo continues, y'all! This time involving a poor innocent horse in its nonsense. 

Last night the intransigent Real Housewives of New Jersey gang continued their journey to togetherness in Arizona. While some people seemed to really be soaking in all the free psychological healing Bravo was throwing their way, others really dug their heels into the delusion. I'ma lookin' at you Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga

Things begin with Melissa complaining that there's too much like progress happening. She croaks out that she's much prefer to sit by the pool and hock up phlegm while drinking cocktails and rocking yet another fringe bikini. Instead they'll be heading to a horse barn for a therapeutic exercise about being vulnerable and trusting others. Melissa wonders if she can wear a fringe bikini. 

Outside Jacqueline Laurita is relaxing with some spiked orange juice and talking to husband Chris about Teresa's "karma" comment. Jacqueline obsesses over whether or not Teresa was making a dig. Chris doesn't seem to think she was but admits that one never knows with that tricky Teresa. And he's known Teresa since the days when Jacqueline was a lowly Vegas stripper so he's kinda like an expert on Tre's crazy, thanks to Dina.

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I think things are really going to be great this season of Duck Dynasty.  It's fun, light-hearted and not too scripted!  I love seeing the Robertsons get together, and I think it's hilarious the way Phil interacts with his grandchildren.  

Jase is installing a new dock with his brothers and friends as Si gives orders from the edge of the water.  Si is great at supervision, but he's reminded that he, of all people, does not have super vision.  I think we can all attest to that having seen his coke bottle glasses.

At the warehouse, Si is regaling the warehouse crew with stories of his football days.  Jase has Si's football formula memorized.  First, there is a grand exaggeration followed by Si's remarkable strategy.  After awhile, the actual story of the game begins, but it's riddled with commercial breaks for Epsom salt, sweet tea, and more ridiculously exaggerated stories.

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