Recaps

 Tiffany-Copelnd-Hannah-Ferrier-Dinner-Service-Below-Deck-Mediterranean

Dinner is botched! A boat nearby sinks into the Mediterranean Sea! The skies darken, and the Greek Gods rain lightning down upon the Ionian Princess! Is it Danny Zureikat’s fault? Eh, probably. Actually, we get a break from nonstop Danny drama this week to explore the ineptitude of the rest of the cast. Namely Hannah Ferrier, whose communication skills with Ben Robinson (and with everyone else aboard) need some serious work. Welcome to this week’s Below Deck Mediterranean: People Who Suck At Their Jobs Edition! 

We pick back up at the bar where Bryan Kattenburg is ripping Danny a new one. He wants Danny to remember he’s a bottom guy. Does that make Bryan a top? Bobby Giancola is trying his best to wear Julia D’Albert-Pusey down, despite her boyfriend back home. Outside, Ben apologizes for not having Hannah Ferrier’s back when it comes to Danny and his many antics. Instead of accepting his apology, Hannah accuses Ben of being “abusive,” which is laughable. Ben’s like, ah, whatever. Friends, then? Great! Buh-bye! He sped the apology session up to escape the emotionally unstable Hannah. Smart move. 

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Teen Mom 2 Season Finale

Last night was the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Jenelle Evans’ relationship with her mom, Barbara Evans, continued to deteriorate as David Eason took more control over Jenelle and asserting himself more as a self-appointed father-figure for Jace. Leah Messer got to a better place with Corey Simms, but her relationship with Jeremy Calvert hit a bump in the road when he prioritized his new girlfriend’s daughter over Addie. Chelsea Houska settled with Adam Lind and got Cole DeBoer’s wedding ring. And, finally, Kail Lowry and Javi Marroquin talked divorce.

Jenelle, David, the boys, and Maryssa are in the car headed to go fishing. Kaiser is screaming as usual and Jace joins in. David yells at Jace that he’s six years old and shouldn’t be screaming like a girl. I bet he also tells Jace not to do things that seem “gay.” By the time they get to the lake, Jenelle and David are both irritated with Kaiser’s squealing. Jenelle points her finger at him and yells at him to stop screaming, which obviously doesn’t work. David says he takes after his daddy, Nathan Griffith, who’s a “little screaming bitch.” Sounds like a more apt description of Jenelle. Jenelle swears they’re never taking Kaiser with them on the boat again because they can never do anything with him around. Did she expect that a toddler was going to be able to sit on a boat for a few hours and care at all about fishing?

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Real Housewives of Dallas recap

Only on Real Housewives could a lake house turn out to be a palatial mansion, and a trip to the Four Seasons be all your worst high school nightmares. On last night’s Real Housewives of Dallas, the ladies traveled to Austin for a birthday weekend only to end up the subject of their own horror story – narrated by LeeAnne Locken, of course! Is LeeAnne the new Danielle Staub, or what?!

Since Cary Deuber, Stephanie Hollman, and LeeAnne all have similar birthdays, the weekend is supposed to be a three-way birthday bash to hopefully mend fences. Oh, it was a bash alright! 

Stephanie has apprehensions that Brandi Redmond blindly followed her Lord Jesus Juice when she invited LeeAnne and Tiffany Hendra to their lake house. Stephanie and Brandi’s husbands built the house together, so their families co-own it. I think Brandi and Stephanie are cute. I love their genuine friendship and that their families are so close. Also, Stephanie grows on me weekly – she’s far from ditzy, but instead is insightful and holds her words until she’s thought through what she wants to say.

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southern charm landon shep

Southern? Without a doubt. Charming? Eh, sometimes more than others with these guys! On last night’s Southern Charmthe drama continued to focus on Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis with a little bit of Maury Povich mixed in for good measure.  After we witnessed the birth of the couple’s son St. Julien Rembert Ravenel last week, T-Rav’s friends, including JD Madison and Whitney Sudler-Smith, encouraged the playboy to make sure he was, in fact, the father, and Craig Conover, Kathryn’s biggest cheerleader, jumped on the bandwagon. Of course, we had to wait until the witching hour to see it, but wowsers…and next week? Don’t get me started! 

The episode begins with Cameran Eubanks calling Shepard “Shep” Rose about their partnerShep listing, but he’s busy taste-testing gin drinks at his bar, the Palace Hotel. Also getting an early start on the day is Craig who drops in on his former boss, Extreme Akim Anastapoulo. Akim finds it laughable to learn that Craig is in the hotel business. Not only did he spend three years in law school, but Craig graduated three years ago and still hasn’t taken the bar. The lawyer/Eye for an Eye star wants to hit Craig over the head with his Bat of Justice. He wonders how Craig will explain such a gap in his legal resume to future employers. Craig swears he doesn’t want to waste his education, and Akim begrudgingly agrees to help him get on the right path after he passes the bar. Something tells me this will Akim’s final cameo. Next time Craig seeks advice, Akim will send Kato Kaelin…or Big Sugar Ray.

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Shahs of Sunset recap

Did you miss the Shahs of Sunset after a little Memorial Day Weekend break? We had a week to catch our breath and recover from the ambush wedding of Reza Farahan and Adam Neely and I’m not sure that was enough after watching last night’s drama. You know what they say, there’s no rest for the weary and that especially applies to reality TV fans.

We pick up right where we left off, in Palm Springs, with Reza and Adam driving off into the proverbial sunset, which was actually the darkness of night. The rest of the gang is left at the restaurant, looking glassy eyed and hungover already. Mike Shouhed is busy arguing on the phone with estranged wife, Jessica Parido. Mercedes “MJ” Javid, crooked weave and unmanageable in her drunkenness, uses that as an opportunity to snipe at Mike about his relationship. Boyfriend Tommy Feight and a surprisingly sober Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi play the voices of reason and shove her into an Escalade but they can’t shut off her slurring tirade.

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sister wives maddie

I’m going out on a limb here and betting that last night’s Sister Wives was longer than Robyn Brown’s actual labor. Baby Sister arrived last night, and Kody cites that Robyn is far more independent with this pregnancy than she was with Solomon. We are treated to highlights of Robyn’s frustrations with Kody over the last several weeks, and both agree that their emotional connection isn’t what it was with the last. Robyn has felt “off” the entire time, and she tends to listen to her intuition which worries Kody to no end. 

Baby Sister will be Kody’s eighteenth child. The family reminisces about firstborn Logan. He was born to Janelle after Kody had married his first three wives. Christine got pregnant not long after marrying Kody. Meri gave birth to Mariah a few short months after Christine gave birth to Aspyn. Madison came next, and Janelle had a difficult time producing enough milk. Maddie wasn’t gaining weight, so Meri stepped in to breast feed. As Kody’s brood got bigger, he felt more scrutiny from employers and customers. Many of Christine and Janelle’s pregnancies overlapped. While it’s a bit odd to think about, the family videos of the kids are adorable. 

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Luann and Bethenny

Last night’s Real Housewives Of New York left me feeling like Dorinda Medley! I watch this show! It’s supposed to be fun! None of you can “betave!” (And yes – I was swinging a vodka bottle as I ranted at the TV – ironically the TV, which can’t hear me, provided the same non-reaction as the Housewives who were physically standing right in front of Dorinda!)

Also, I’m just gonna say it – I’m tired of Bethenny Frankel. This is not HER show. That spinoff was CANCELLED. Time for Bethenny to recognize where she stands; maybe Bravo gives her special snowflake treatment, but she’s rolling in the same muck as all the other harridans she pretends to be above, and her despot tyrannical behavior is just annoying.

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Danny-Zuriekrat-Bobby-Giancola-Arguing-Tender-Below-Deck-Mediterranean

After last week’s poetry slam (party of one), lovesick Danny Zureikat is on strike 2 of 3 with Captain Mark Howard, not to mention everyone else. Not ready to “go be a Walmart greeter,” just yet as Captain Mark suggested, Danny figures he’ll stick around and try to screw up his life a little more! Thus begins another week of Below Deck Mediterranean, A Young Man’s Journey Toward A Restraining Order. But first! A possible beat down on the high seas, courtesy of deckhand Bobby Giancola? Yes, please!

Last seen, Tiffany Copeland was getting her drunken hookup on with Bryan Kattenburg. At the same time, Ben Robinson (who secretly likes Tiffany) was trying to squirm out of Hannah Ferrier’s cringe-inducing clutches. Just as Ben made his escape, he was faced with another conundrum when he walked into Bryan’s bunk only to witness the Tiffany/Bryan hookup in full swing! I don’t know about you, but I AM LOVING THIS! 

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