Recaps

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Uh-oh. Jeff Lewis has flipped out on every employee, friend, and contractor in the greater LA area. But on last night’s Flipping Out, he’s had it up to here with Gage Edward’s demands, like where to place couches, and is turning his ire on the ones he loves.

But first, Jeff begins by ragging on Jenni Pulos in the car about forgetting his schedule. Now that Gramercy is sold, his beloved cat Stewie has passed away, and life is a bit chaotic, Jenni surmises that Jeff’s nastiness meter has been ratcheted up to 10. He’s barking at Gage on the phone, so Gage promptly hangs up on him post-rant. Jeff calls back to order Gage that from here on out when they are speaking on the phone, Gage will say “goodbye,” dammit! He and Matt can have their own little hang ups without goodbyes, he says, but they will not engage in such crass behavior with the likes of Jeff Lewis! Dang. Jeff is on a rampage. And it ain’t pretty.

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On last night’s Little Women: LA, tension reaches the breaking point between Jasmine Sorge and Tonya Banks. But before they get into it, Tonya is taking Elena Gant out for a spin in her new dream car, purchased with three seasons of bitterness on reality TV! Tonya’s had her car modified for a little person, so she takes advantage of her new ride by driving Elena up to a mountain peak to talk some trash. Elena fills Tonya in on the epic argument that broke out at Jasmine’s party the night before about Briana Manson’s questionable relationship with boyfriend Matt. Elena thinks Briana needs advice and support, but “sneaky a$$ Jasmine” (according to Tonya) is Briana’s only ally at this point. 

Brittney “Freakabritt” Guzman is moving into her new house with the help of her friend, Shelby, who is also a little person. They valiantly heave and heft boxes as much as they can before sitting down for a chat break. Brittney knows her gigolo dad will miss her, but it’s time to get her own place. She fills Shelby in on the new circle of girls she’s been hanging with, which includes a few former lovahs of her daddy’s. (That was sort of gross to type.) Christy McGinty, Briana, and – according to Brittney – even married Elena were tangled up with her Latin playa’ father at some point. To stir up some sh*t, Brittney’s dad recently suggested throwing a barbecue to get all of these ladies together. So they can claw each others’ eyes out?

 

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RHONY S7 Finale Recap

Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of New York and I had a couple revelations. It’s my own version of drive-by therapy. Holla! 

Firstly, Ramona Singer is incapable of change and while Bethenny Frankel had all 100% valid points about how Ramona is basically a toddler playing dress-up in mommy’s very dated wig and stripper heels, it was slightly missing the point. Ramona has changed – maybe not in her Ramonaisms, but her life as she knows it certainly changed. 

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dance moms girls

Congratulations, dear readers. We did it. And more importantly, we did it together. We survived yet another season of Abby Lee Miller’s shenanigans on Dance Moms (not counting the reunion, of course…that will be a gem!). Pat yourself on the back. You are stronger than you thought you could be. After last week, the Nationals soloists were up in the air, but finally we got see some amazing drama–and even better dancing! 

The finale episode begins with Abby corralling the girls to hype up Nationals and poo-poo the ALDC’s track record thus far this season. Jill hopes that Abby will focus and become the leader the team needs, but learning the Jeanette’s team is competing has her off her rocker per the usual. Abby is stressed about the studio opening, and Jessalyn wonders how in the world it will be finished in time. JoJo is on the bottom of the pyramid for constantly needing corrections, followed by MacKenzie. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being “okay.” Kalani is third on the pyramid for placing third in the competition, with Maddie holding down the second spot. Woo hoo! A deserving Nia tops the pyramid for being the overall high scoring solo. Finally.

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Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County the ladies played Bravo’s most popular game: She/said-She/Said. The winner was Meghan Edmonds, who claimed the ‘Pot Stirrer Meet Kettle’ award. Because honestly, accusing someone else of being a pot stirrer in defense of Tamra Judge is absolutely ludicrous beyond belief! 

As is always the case on vacations Tamra and Vicki Gunvalson can’t keep it in their pants… their bodily functions that is. After a night of binge drinking Tamra, Vicki, and Shannon Beador are in no condition to go on an underwater excursion. As Tamra termed it she can’t stop s#*!ing herself. Can we get Tamra and Vicki some sort of potty training refresher course? Meanwhile not even the nebulizer can clear out Shannon’s brain.

Heather Dubrow, wearing DENIM CUTOFFS (it was like an alien sighting — but she looked great), barges in to try to rally them, but even her assurances that she had Depends and wipes in her Birkin couldn’t get Vicki and Shannon to come along. Tamra dragged herself aboard the bus and worked diligently not to poop her 1992 Hair Band video vixen hot pink one-piece during the boat trip. 

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Last night was another phenomenal installment of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Between Lil’ Scrappy threatening to overthrow Momma Dee’s monarchy just days before her wedding to Ernest to Stevie J. and the boys taking a fishing trip, it was one for the books. It begins with Kirk Frost surprising Rasheeda with a store front. He knows he’s been in the doghouse a lot lately, and he hopes it will put him back in her good graces. Rasheeda is over the moon excited by Kirk’s gesture, and she’s even more thrilled to learn she’s at one of the ritziest malls in the city. I’m guessing Lenox Square, and to that I say, good job Kirk! 

As his mother’s wedding draws closer, Scrappy is summoned by his sister Jasmine who is still not on board with the nuptials. She breaks the news that Dee is getting married sooner rather than later, and she’s got Erica Dixon and Bambi as bridesmaids. Scrappy can’t believe his mom isn’t having a long engagement, and why is she putting his ex  and his current boo in her wedding? They hate each other…not to mention, he and Erica aren’t on the best terms at the moment. 

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bbwla fight

And so begins the downfall of Draya Michele. Last night’s Basketball Wives LA centered on a girls’ trip helmed by Brandi Maxiell to Santa Barbara. Why, after so, so, so many times of going on these mini-vacays, a knock-down-drag-out fight ensuing, and the inevitable dread that comes from rehashing said trip at the reunion, do these women think this time will be different? Jackie Christie is stirring the pot as fast as she can, and even the girls who vowed to dislike her forever believe every word that comes out of her exaggerating mouth. It’s comedy gold.

In an effort to bring Angel Brinks into the mix, Draya has invited her to come along as someone who can save her from her friends’ drama. Angel is like a mini-Kardashian, and Draya wants to give her the low down on the ladies with whom they will be traveling. She shares that Shaunie O’Neal isn’t keen on strangers infiltrating their group even though Shaunie herself is considered a newbie according to Draya. Next, Draya mean girls Mehgan James. Angel can’t wait for the weekend!

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Well, ’tis a season of change on Flipping Out. Do not ask for whom the bell tolls! It tolls for Intern Joe. As Jeff moves into his new Hollywood space, Joe moves on to greener pastures, or at least pastures that don’t abut Jeff Lewis properties. 

Gramercy is closing and tensions are high as Jeff flips out at Jenni Pulos for allegedly closing gates, not tracking Joe’s trash bags, and for breathing too much air in Jeff’s general vicinity. All of Jeff’s personal items fit into one Rubbermaid bin, which says a lot about his feelings on chotchkies. And life. While he may not be sentimental about things, he is sentimental about leaving Gramercy, once touted as his “forever” house that he and Gage Edward lovingly redesigned. (Is it weird that I’m sad too? <sniff>) Zoila Chavez, for one, is not going to miss Gramercy or its 50 steps she must climb everyday. 

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