Day 8 in the Celebrity Big Brother house begins with a Ray J-less house. Media coverage says he left the house due to a dental problem, but other than a small announcement at the beginning of the episode, and a clip in the middle, there is no other detail.
It’s shopping task day and housemates are a-waking in the land of nod. Leaders of the task are the “Dream Team,” comprising of James Jordan and Nicola McLean, whose job it is to ensure the housemates follow the rules. James reluctantly takes up the role – I lie – he’s loving it. The rules: no make up or appliances, no lying down during the day, no sleeping during the day, and no yawning. No wonder Ray J left – that was 80% of his daily activity. James J and Nicola get a free pass and are allowed to do what they like.
Double Teen Mom 2, double the fun. That’s right, fans, we got a bonus episode this week and I’m ready to bring you the highlights.
Leah Messer is moving on to bigger and better things in the form of a $110K house. She brings the girls and her friend along to see it because apparently, the owners don’t mind if she creeps around the property with the camera crew whenever she wants. Motivated to sell, I guess! There are still numbers to crunch and a wheelchair ramp to put in, but she’s optimistic. She also remains optimistic about Ali’s determination to do normal kid things, even though she’s falling a lot. Leah says as much to Corey Simms at one of their drop offs and Corey agrees for some reason. Ultimately, Leah does end up getting the house and it’s only eight miles from the girls’ school, which she is thrilled about because that means it will only take her 15 minutes max to get there. It also means she will only be 45 minutes late instead of over an hour. It’s a win for all.
It’s day 7 on Celebrity Big Brother and we’re waking up to a night of regrets and headaches. Nicola McLean wonders if her husband will be annoyed, and when told she’ll have some explaining to do, she retorts that she gets a free pass due to his indiscretions anyway. Angie Best tells son Calum Bestoff for drinking so much and tells him his liver can’t deal with it. I really wish he would let this side of his character out more; the relationship with his mum is so cute.
And it is this that leads us on to the task of the day. Angie, who has been personal trainer to the likes of Priscilla Presley and Cher, is asked to choose the unhealthiest housemates and run a detox program with them. Her choices (victims) are James C, Coleen, Ray J, Brandon, and Calum. Housemates will not be able to smoke, drink alcohol, or eat unless Angie tells them they can. Obviously they’re thrilled. Helped by Angie saying Ray J has put notable weight on since being in the house.
Things continue at Camille Grammer‘s Luncheon From Hell, which really wasn’t all that hellish after all. It kind of fizzled and popped, then went flat like day-old Perrier. What Dorit wanted to finish telling Eileen is that she feels constantly on the defense with these women. I feel like it’s true that Dorit is under laser-focus, but I also feel like Dorit is trying too hard, then imagines people are constantly scrutinizing her. Her affiliation with the sleaziness that is PK doesn’t help.
It’s time for the Ladies Of London to head to Scotland this week, as Caroline Stanbury hosts a trip – with NO house rules and (gasp!) a RENTED castle – for her friends and enemies before moving to Dubai. Julie Montagu, of course, feels preyed upon by Caroline’s digs about rules and such, but finds that her former ally, Sophie Stanbury, is not interested in gossiping with her anymore about Caroline. What’s a future Lady Of The Manor to do?! Cry in her kitchen. That’s what.
Testing her loyalty right off the bat, Julie has Sophie over for wine – and whining. She’s pissed about Caroline telling her she’s going to show her “how to have a good time” in Scotland, versus the crap time she had at Mapperton. Julie snarked back that she’ll try to not walk out of Caroline’s dinner. Touche! But then she sobs about Caroline picking on her again, and Sophie draws the line. She’s extracting herself from this mess, pronto, advising Julie to fix her sh*t with Caroline all by herself.
If you haven’t yet been wooed by the idea of men-children in tight white chinos paired with pastel polo shirts, then I implore you to tune in OnDemand, if only to better appreciate this recap. Because taking a cue from any good Bravolebrity, everything is about Me! Me! Me! Even Summer House. Last night we got our first taste of Montauk living from a bunch of late-twenty/early-thirty something New Yorkers who spend their summers in a rented mansion partying, playing girls (and each other), and wearing pastels.
It’s nomination day in Celebrity Big Brother house. The housemates get to nominate for the first time and things are about to get real.
But before those fun and games, we open to Coleen Nolan, James Jordan, and Calum Best discussing the argument last night. Coleen explains that she was just trying to make Jamie O’Hara feel better and apologizes for upsetting him. Calum explains his point, that it was just another label he had wanted to escape from in the house, and that he understands now why it was all said. It was all very civilized and British, and everyone is happy and lovely again.
On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, we learned that Stassi Schroeder‘s problems with men run deep. Like down in the beautiful, briny sea deep. She’s also being strangled in turtleneck-form by her own ill-advised hubris.
Now, I must do a disclaimer with this recap: Do not expect my usual greatness of prose mixed with pearls of wisdom, as I have the worst cold I have ever had in my human existence. And I feel like garbage. Like what Tequila Katie (minus Tom 2) may smear on Scheana Marie‘s overly-contoured face.
Can we talk about Scheana? Ho-ly does that girl need a ‘stink face’ removal procedure. Didn’t anyone warn her that her face will freeze that way if she makes a poop face immediately after getting Botox? I mean, I get it – she has a hard-earned summer body to protect, but lighten up and eat a lil’ clam. I hear Kristen Doute loves them.