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i-dream-of-nene-bridemaids

Last night on I Dream Of NeNe, "bridemaid" drama continued between Marlo Hampton and Diana Gowins, except Diana got the memo loud and clear that she better shape up and get on Team Worship NeNe Leakes! The ladies also traveled to Cancun for NeNe's bachelorette party. Of course no one behaved accordingly. 

Things started out fine. In the van from the airport everyone was joking around pretending to smoke twizzlers and then deep throat them. Marlo excelled in that arena. Once they arrived they discovered a soccer team was sharing their resort which was fine for some of the ladies, namely Dawn

The jollies continued as the ladies participated in the nipslip olympics. First was some sort of pseudo surf waves which caused Jennifer Williams (I forgot how lovely she is) and Diana to lose precious small bits of bikini coverage over and over again. Thank you for blurry modesty bars. From the sidelines the other ladies cheered and snickered. Diana is really working overtime to prove she isn't the "president" but merely a humble servant. And she's fun too!

Did anyone think NeNe installed some sort of zapper in Diana and whenever she didn't follow the rules NeNe shocked her? She had a personality 180 this episode… 

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teen-mom-3-nova-briana-dejesus

This week's episode of Teen Mom 3 is fairly boring and uneventful. But, when we're talking about disturbingly unhealthy relationships, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Briana DeJesus celebrates her birthday, while Alex Sekella goes on a date. And Mackenzie Douthit and Katie Yeager struggle with being on a break from Josh McKee and Joey Maes.

It's Briana's 18th birthday. Mom agrees to watch Nova overnight so Bri can hang with her friends at a hotel. Briana, in all her socially awkward glory, plans to go clubbing behind mom's back. Mom and Brittany talk about Bri's big night out ad nauseam. Brittany thinks Briana is too irresponsible to be out all night on her own, yet she gifts her with $50 to have fun. Plus she put money aside for Nova's diapers for the week. Best nanny ever!

Matt McCann calls Alex to report that his stint in rehab is coming to an end. He's doing really well, and when given the choice to either come home or go to a halfway house, he chose halfway house. He worries he'll fall right back in with the same crowd if he comes home too soon, however, he plans to use a day pass to visit Arabella on her birthday. Alex happily supports Matt's decisions. 

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rhom-recap-lea

Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Miami was all about family matters – and twisty, curvy, convoluted family dynamics! 

It turns out Romain Zago has more than a childhood shrouded in negligent parenting as neither of his parents could give a fig about attending his wedding to Joanna Krupa. Scared of Joanna? Even worse – Romain's brother, the supposed best man, is iffy about whether or not he'll attend. Maybe they can do Skype nuptials? Joanna feels that's what they get for waiting six years to set a date. Nevertheless it made her really appreciate her family (maybe she'll stop ball-busting Marta. I mean she's finally stopped ball-busting Romain!). 

It also makes Joanna understand that she truly is the only family Romain has. Better get to reproducing – or she's probably saving that for next year's storyline (if they get renewed, that is)! To celebrate their love, Romain is surprising Joanna with a romantic evening. First he rips up the prenup they were planning to sign (love, Housewives style!) then he rents a yacht and has a puppy waiting on board. Joanna is in heaven. I'm just happy Joanna found someone willing to put up with her. Better Romain than Marta – or me! 

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bbw ladies

Well, last week's episode of positivity and good times quickly fell by the wayside, didn't it? On last night's season finale of Basketball Wives, Suzie Ketcham certainly went out with a bang, while Tami Roman made sure to stir the pot behind the scenes. Shaunie O'Neal has perfected her appalled look when dishware is thrown, and Evelyn Lozada manages to shed just a few more tears.

The ladies decide to have a quiet night in on their last night in London. The women are showering Evelyn with praise over a fashion show well done, and they unanimously decide it's hands down the best girls trip they've taken for the show. Given that no one left in the middle of the night or had dead fish hidden in their suitcase, I'd say it was a screaming success.

Back in Los Angeles (where do these ladies live?), Evelyn, Tami, Suzie, and Shaunie are bowling. Tami decides its the perfect time to tell her friends about Kenya Bell's phone call and invitation to see her perform. They find it humorous that Kenya claims to have turned over a new leaf. Tami describes her "Hate Me" song, and Suzie's eyes immediately turn to daggers. The ladies are shocked to learn that her song is about one of them, and they narrow it down to either being a "tribute" to Suzie or Evelyn. Oh hell no!  It had better not be about Evelyn! Suzie checks out the lyrics on the Internet, and Evelyn accuses her of being so high school. She would know, right?

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bbw-s5-cast-black-dresses

Hmmm…this season of Basketball Wives has somehow seemed shorter than most–not that I'm complaining, mind you!  Perhaps there just wasn't enough footage of craziness to make it last longer given the fact that Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman were trying to revamp their violent images via tear and nail polish respectively.

Tonight is the show's season finale, and it seems producers filmed a little smack down between Suzie Ketcham and former cast mate Kenya Bell. While it's not table jumping or wine bottle hurling stuff (thankfully), it seems that Suzie has graduated from hat swatting to full on hair pulling.

Of course none of this would be possible if Tami hadn't decided to stir the pot and invite the women to Kenya's performance. Personally, I am over this set of women, but I can't decide if their drama-fueled antics made them at least more entertaining to watch. It's official…I am definitely part of the problem! 

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deitrick preachers

Well, we're back for round two of Preachers of L.A.! Clarence McClendon was too busy counting money Scrooge McDuck-style with his butler to make much of an appearance, while Noel Jones was all about family and females…or one female in particular. Ron Gibson took it upon himself to provide premarital counseling to Deitrick Haddon and his fiance, but we all know Deitrick doesn't like being told what to do. Thank God for Jay Haizlip for having a story that isn't just superficial and putting aside his bravado to reach out to someone who many would shun. As for Wayne Chaney, has he already given up on this gig?

After last week's explosion in the Man Cave between Deitrick and Clarence over respect, bedazzled jeans, whether a Ferrari trumps a Porsche, and poor people, Deitrick is talking to fiance Dominique about how to rectify the situation. The pair is in the studio, and Deitrick feels that Clarence didn't like being challenged. Dominique hopes that Deitrick can swallow his pride and make amends. Meanwhile, Clarence arrives at Noel's home to share his take on the events. Clarence wonders why Deitrick thinks it is alright to tell him how to run his ministry. Noel understands completely…an entourage isn't a bad thing. Sidebar, who was Dwayne Wayne's best friend on A Different World? Can we be totally sure he didn't leave acting to become an evangelical pastor named Clarence? #IMDB

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nene

I'm just going to dive right into last night's I Dream Of NeNe because y'all are going to love this.  In the throws of planning this wedding, Gregg Leakes has decided to focus his energy on a new venture–a luxury barbershop!  Can you blame him? He's just as disturbed as I am that NeNe wants to send an evite for their big day.  I'd find something else to garner my attention, too! NeNe doles out Gregg's to-do list, and he is vetoed when he suggests alternatives to the $15,000 cake that is arriving in Atlanta via a first class flight. Poor Gregg always flies coach, I assume. This episode is off to a fabulous start!

The couple goes to check out the gardens where NeNe wants to wed, and Gregg is equally excited about her vision.  New wedding planner Tony arrives to rain on her parade. With the wedding in three weeks, Tony can't make the space work with so many guests without three extra weeks, some construction permits, and a lot of extra dough. NeNe refuses to change the date, so she's going to have to change the venue. She isn't happy about this turn of events. Tony was supposed to be able make things happen!  And he can…he just needs more time (No time, there's never any time! I don't have time to study plan a wedding, I'll never get into Stanford!).  Looks like NeNe's getting married at a hotel, y'all! She's appalled by this turn of events.  Really?  But the evites are the height of class?

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teen-mom-3-nova

This week on Teen Mom 3,  Briana DeJesus visits the GYN for birth control, and Alex Sekella screams at her family.  Also, Katie Yeager endures the birthday trip from hell,  and Mackenzie Douthit discovers that Josh McKee has been lying to her about rodeo practice. 

Briana kicks off this week's episode, and she's very happy to report that her sister/nanny is over last week's "spread my wings and fly far away" attitude. Also, Briana took about three minutes of college classes, so she takes a much needed break. When a boy calls Brittany on her phone, Briana lectures her on birth control and pouts about her little mistake, also known as Nova Star

Next Alex studies while Arabella sits unassisted on the very edge of a table. Are they training her for the circus? Seriously. Since Arabella nailed the death defying high table sitting act, Alex tries a chair. Without a net. This poor baby tumbles off the chair and falls face first onto the hardwood floor. Alex complains because she can't take her eyes off of Arabella for even a second. 

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