There are two things that frustrate me about 90 Day Fiance: 1) That it is not on every single night of the week, and 2) That the seasons are so flipping short! Because seriously, each couple in this series – past and present – could realistically anchor their very own reality show. It’s a virtual cornucopia of dysfunction up in here! TLC, listen up: We want more. Nay – We need more! Hire more cameramen, give the editors a raise, convince the government to increase the K1 visa from 90 to 400 days. Do what you have to do, people!
Last night, we did get a bit more from “Happily Ever After,” which ended its short season, then followed up with the couples on a “Tell All” reunion afterward. (As usual, we’ll be recapping the current season only – but feel free to comment on 90DF disasters past and present below!) As season four winds down, the fiances are facing reality in varying degrees. But somewhere on the scale of Jorge’s frightening masochism, to Narkyia’s deep delusion, Nicole has found her way to something even more hilarious: Self Righteousness. Yes, she is the tortured victim in her very tiny mind. Danielle 2.0 is following in Danielle 1.0’s footsteps quite nicely, eh?
On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak Biermann had to brave the mean streets of Los Angeles without the protection of chef Tracey husband Kroy Biermann. Of course, life of a wannabe momager isn’t always easy, and if she’s going to help skyrocket her twin Brielle and foul mouthed KJ into super stardom. Who do you think would win in a cage match between Kim and Kris Jenner?
The episode begins with Kim complaining about how often Tracey prepares fettuccine alfredo. Sure, Kim loves pasta and eats it everyday, but Kroy deserves something fancier in the kitchen. Tracey would love to get to use her actual culinary skills, but (shocker!), her talent is lost on the Biermanns. She admits that when she started cooking for the family, she made everything from scratch with fresh ingredients, but gave up when it became obvious that they preferred canned crap. Tracey cites being the Biermanns’ cook has been the most difficult experience of her career…and she was on Top Chef. Kroy insists he’s a foodie, although he’s never heard of exotic foods such as flank steak and tomatoes. Tracey promises to wow them with an upscale menu when they return from Los Angeles. They are taking Brielle to meet with Access Hollywood and have arranged for two huge casting agencies to fight over who will reap the benefits of KJ’s future celebrity.
But productionElena Gant thinks it might be worth one more try! So she gets the ladies together for a “land sailing” day in one final attempt to heal that which will never be healed: The bruised egos within this group. (Does anybody else get the sense that this might be Elena’s final swan song on LWLA? She seems Totally. Over. It.) Despite the one-track storyline of Christy v. Everybody this season, I do still hold out hope for this show, which I’ve truly loved watching over the years. So c’mon, ladies, rally! I just can’t quit you!
Say #What? Survivor‘s post-Halloween episode tonight was fittingly part trick and part treat, ending on what may just be the most shocking and intense blindside yet this season. Jeff Probst promised the game-play was going to ramp up as this season progressed, and he has uncharacteristically not over-hyped things thus far.
We’re going to get into everything that went down tonight, and analyze the shocking end of the episode that surely will create ripple effects through the rest of the season. Here’s your second-to-last spoiler warning, so stop reading if you have yet to watch Episode 7 of Survivor.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
Thank you, Lifetime! My prayers have been answered. Last night’sDance Moms episode was only an hour long. Finally! I never thought this day would come! We are back to some semblance of structure. Abby Lee Miller is actually present for the pyramid! If that’s not enough, Jill Vertes gets to throw out her favorite word–favoritism–regarding the minis. It’s status quo once again!
In case you missed the first fifteen hours of this season, Jill is sick and tired of the mini team taking Abby’s attention away from Kendall and the elite team. However, she’s the loudest to cheer when Abby announces yet again that the minis’ latest group routine garnered the most points. In fact, it’s Holly Frazier who is first to challenge Abby regarding the drama surrounding last week’s competition. Kira happily joins in and Jill quickly stops cheering and starts chastising. Stacey, the only mini mom whose name I’ve chosen to learn, is very vocal about how horrible the veteran moms are. Lather, rinse, repeat, week after week, season after season.
Vicki does reprehensible things and doesn’t understand that they’re reprehensible. She also can’t apologize for hurting people’s feelings. Briana is right about that. Yet, for all Briana’s parenting of her mother, Vicki refuses to see the reality that people don’t forget things you’ve said or done because you give them a good whoop it up or two. Vicki’s version of friendships are as deep as one night stands. Although I honestly don’t know that I would be offering sincere apologies to any of these biatches either. Do any of them really deserve one? Truly?
I imagine that Tamra Judge, Heather Dubrow, and Shannon Beador see themselves as victorious after last night’s episode – they have triumphed in the face of evil, stood in solidarity, and exorcised the devil. Yeah, except, not cause the devil is inside.
In honor of Halloween, last night’s finale of Real Housewives Of New Jersey was like a twisted fairy tale of modern evil, the moral being that sometimes the wrong witch gets pushed into an oven, while the other escapes on foot through the forest hoping the evil doesn’t catch up with her.
Siggy Flicker tried to reunify the group, but lunch didn’t even get served before the ladies were fleeing the coop in various states of undress. Only on Bravo do ‘ladies who lunch’ turn into ladies of the night who run Louboutin-less through a parking lot, stalking like zombies after the brainless one who got away. And over the railroad tracks to Jacqueline Laurita‘s asylum they go!