Recaps

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When one has nowhere left to turn with creative ways to bash one’s former friends, one must turn toward more outlandish methods. Like accuse them of being hardcore drug addicts, for example! At least that’s what Terra Jole and crew have decided to do to Christy McGinity Gibel on last night’s Little Women: LA. At least the heat is (somewhat) off Tonya Banks for a minute! Little Boss needs a Little Break. 

But first we must make a pit stop with Briana Renee and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] as they go out to lunch to discuss a “Pre-Pop Party.” Lest we waste too many brain cells on what sort of party this is, here’s the definition: It’s another excuse to create drama among the group whilst celebrating the fruit of Matt’s loins. It’s also another excuse to not invite Christy to something.  

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County was about creating memories. For some that means a south of the border, borderline sex tape featuring guacamole and skinny dipping; for others, it’s forced entrapment of your friends and family in a deceased talk show host’s dessert estate. So everyone be quiet and let Shannon Beador and Vicki Gunvalson imagine worlds of fabricated perfection!

Shannon is on cloud nine. She is so euphoric she has forgotten how to speak Spanish – even though she placed second in the country on the National Spanish Exam? Que?! She better grab her flashcards, cause she is headed to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a re-honeymoon! Of course no Shannon Beador expedition is complete without Shannon Beador accessories!

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RHONJ spa weekend

On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, the ladies traveled to a spa where Siggy Flicker counseled them into  adulting when it comes to problem solving and relationships. It kinda worked – although Jacqueline Laurita‘s mental state seems more precarious than ever. 

The new Teresa Giudice goes on vacation with one bag. The same old Melissa Gorga goes on vacation with five bags. Or maybe Melissa has become the old Teresa? I honestly can’t remember – a 1000 images of squealing, sequined suitcases swirl before me and blend together into one obnoxious monokini fashion show of Housewives in Hotels. Maybe I need an appointment with Dr. Siggy

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Flipping Out recap

“You come back or you’re fired!” That’s the ultimatum Jeff Lewis barked into his phone during the final minutes of last night’s Flipping Out.

Believe it or not, Jeff is ready to fire beloved house manager and surrogate mom Zoila Chavez over a silly argument involving lunch orders. But before that happens, he throws her a birthday party and gives her a Prada handbag! The bipolar turn of events that follows includes Zoila not being grateful enough (at least, I think that’s what crawled up Jeff’s hiney hole) and Silent Matt proving himself “disloyal” in Jeff’s eyes. Not good for Jeff’s fragile ego, to say the least. 

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Luann confronts Tom

Like most people watching Real Housewives Of New York I want to be happy for Luann de Lesseps, but yeah… Tom is a rat and Luann’s delusion will do her no favors. Also, Bethenny Frankel‘s over-the-top emotions rang as faulty as Luann’s insistence that her love with Tom is butter, not margarine. 

I still think Bethenny had to tell Luann, but I think the way Bethenny did it was calculating and nefarious. I still think Luann is an idiot for putting her heart and dignity on the line for an odious schmuck like Tom, who doesn’t even have the decency to do his bad deeds in secret like every other cheating spouse of a Real Housewife. Even Mario had more discretion – he at least chose some other-rate fitness emporium unfancy enough to meet the demands of Ramona Singer‘s hubris!

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On Little Women: Atlanta, the drama between the ladies has finally calmed down but that doesn’t mean you’re in store for a boring episode. There’s plenty going on to keep fanning the flames of entertainment down in the ATL. 

Monie Cashette is still reeling from ex-best friend, Minnie Ross accusing her of not being a little person. Fiancé Morlin is both supportive and thoughtful in helping Monie through this as she decides to get tested for dwarfism. She has a 10 year old son living out of state with his father and while he is average sized, if Monie has dwarfism, he will also be carrying the gene. Monie wants to find out for her son’s sake, NOT Minnie, just to make that crystal clear.

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Tonya Banks has had it up to here with so called “bestie” Terra Jole. And last night on Little Women: LA, she decided to lay down the law! Meanwhile, Briana Renee continues to hate on Christy McGinity Gibel, wondering if Christy is trying to bring her down in a legal dispute – that, um, seems to have nothing whatsoever to do with Christy! So, things are as twisted as ever. 

Tonya wants to throw a “welcome back” western-themed party for Kerwin, since he’s from Texas and totally deserves a party after acting like a giant whiny baby for the last month. The guest list will include the usual suspects, minus Terra, an insult sure to throw her into a royal tailspin. Little Boss is making moves, yo! 

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Shannon's Surprise

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County was about starting over, with new friends, new introspection, new babies, and new directions for the marriage that cut out the cancerous tumor and got brand spankin’ new cells! David officially decided that he really, really re-loves Shannon Beador for real this time and planned a surprise re-wedding. It was all very nice and lovely. 

The marital travails of Shannon and David do beg the question: Can one completely ignore the past and acquire a new beginning? Is it possible to start afresh with brand new red bottoms, unsullied from scuffing along sidewalks trailing behind your husband’s secret life? Like a facelift, can all the old sagging skin of our former misery be lifted up into a permanent smile; a renewed face to face a renewed future? 

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