This weekend Alexis Bellino renewed her vows to Jim Bellino in an over-the-top wedding that wasn’t a wedding on David Tutera‘s CELEBrations. And I can see why all of Alexis’ Real Housewives of Orange County castmates couldn’t stand her because Alexis needs sedatives – or some sort of psychiatric drugs. She constantly throws tantrums and is mega attention seeking!
Alexis wants David at her beck and call and treats him like ‘the help’. Two queens don’t make a right! To add to the drama, David is also in the middle of planning his daughter Cielo’s first birthday party and is strapped for time.
Jim surprised Alexis with the concept of a ten-year anniversary renewal by hiring poor to David show up at their house unannounced while Alexis was ‘reading’ the Bible (translation: looking at a children’s picture book version of a Bible while wearing knock-off Chanel). Jim’s surprise gift is that he wants the party to be in a week and he wants something classy and elegant – the irony of classy and elegant being used to describe anything related to Alexis does not escape me. Or David, who smirks at the correlation.
Even if you can’t stand Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes, I recommend giving this episode of LeAnn and Eddie a shot. It features the couple taking a family vacation to Hawaii. Both sets of parents are really likable and the scenery is gorgeous. Just do your best to ignore the fake pregnancy storyline.
While the family is boarding a helicopter in Hawaii, we learn a little bit about the parents. Eddie’s parents have been married for over 40 years. LeAnn’s mom and stepfather, Ted, have been married for about 13 years. Leann says that she couldn’t ask for a better stepfather. From the minute the parents are in the picture, the show becomes ten times more entertaining. They all have strong personalities that are just hilarious.
This week we find James Harris at home in his bathrobe, still moping from last weeks’ spat with David Parnes over the marketing of Faring, their $48m listing in Holmby Hills . His pretty South American (?) wife, Valeria, finally speaks and offers some tough love with a bit of ego stroking to get him back on track and earning the bacon. She seems to know how to handle her husband!
Josh Flagghas returned to the Dolce Vita restaurant, where he is carted in by Colton in a golden wheelchair. Yes, a Golden Wheelchair! Who knew those even existed??? Josh tells him that he fell in their yard. Pruning trees. Colton, who apparently was not around at the time of the incident, is not buying it and wants to know what really happened. Josh sheepishly tells him that he was standing on a stool dusting dirty vodka bottles, which upset his sciatic nerve. This makes more sense. He needs a drink now – a dirty martini! Colton gives him the side eye about drinking when he is on painkillers, while Josh asks him for a walking cane to go with his wheelchair. Colton is so sweet. I often wonder if he ever takes Josh’s’ dry sense of humor at face value?
I can’t imagine the pressure most dancers feel when preparing for a national competition, but it has to be next to impossible to train when your dance teacher is the wench known as Abby Lee Miller. Dance Moms just keeps getting more and more ridiculous, does it not? On last night’s episode, Christ-y is invited to rejoin the group after Abby’s mini-me assures her boss that Sarah’s turns are improving ten-fold during her private lessons. Abby warns Christ-y to keep her mouth shut or else she and her daughter will be banned for good…again.
Instead of a pyramid, Abby has fashioned a totem pole for her ranking, and Nia is on the very bottom for not having enough facial expressions. MacKenzie is above her for being too quick, followed by Kendall for lacking turn-outs. Tea is above Kendall for being on the winning team, as is Chloe. She’s just one below Maddie who is at the top for garnering the highest score in the competition. This weekend the ALDC is heading to Michigan to compete. MacKenzie, Sarah, and Tea all receive solos. The two lowest scoring little ones will be axed from the Nationals team. Nia has the lead in the group routine which is called tribal council. Abby learns that Ava will be competing with Jeanette’s studio against Tea and MacKenzie. The moms believe that Jeanette wants to get her daughter in front of Abby one more time, but they think it’s unfair given she had her chance last week. Jeanette’s plan is surely going to backfire.
On this week’s episode of Atlanta Exes, the ladies meet with a mediator to try to bring their ‘sisterhood’ back together. Torrei Hart launches her mixer, Skimpy Cocktail’s Cherry Limeade; and Christina Johnson makes a decision about her relationship with Willie.
This week we start off at the Glow and Dry beauty salon. Sheree Buchanan is there to get glowed and dried and Torrei meets her to discuss the ‘mix-up’ at Stir It Up. Torrei believes that she had every right to go in on Tameka Raymond like she did during the confrontation. According to Torrei, Tameka brought a knife to a gun fight. Torrei will shoot a person down, she was in the military. Relevance anyone??? Torrei is upset that Sheree didn’t say more during the confrontation. Sheree says that Tameka deflected. Tameka blocked her shot. Torrei says that Sheree let Tameka block her shot. It would seem that Sheree would have had the most to get off of her chest, given the accusation of sleeping with Tameka’s husband. I believe that because Torrei got so dirty in the argument that Sheree didn’t want to get any further involved.
Tamra Barney had quite a year – she’s being called out and ripped open for her crappy treatment of friends and co-stars alike. And in retaliation, she got slaughtered by three well-spoken broads who weren’t about to be silenced. The days of nobody backing crazy into a corner are over – and when everyone says you’re dead… But that doesn’t mean Tamra is remorseful or apologetic!
Lizzie Rovsek is forevermore “hurt” that Tamra ditched her birthday. Even though Tamra like kinda said she was sorry by giving Lizzie a one-year membership to CUT Fitness. She probably rescinded it so Eddie couldn’t ogle Lizzie in a sports bra. Tamra doesn’t seem to understand people having hurt feelings, but later she’ll use the buzz word of the season when she realizes it gets you attention – and sometimes sympathy.
The finale of Keeping Up With the Kardashians is FINALLY here! Which means the over the top thoroughly orchestrated storylines and extremely D-list acting is finally coming to an end. We can all exhale and relax. Or at least until E! starts shoving Kourtney and Khloe take the Hamptons down our throats.
The episode begins with a disclaimer that we are able to witness an episode shot almost entirely by Kim Kardashian’s family and friends. Basically this means that both the acting and the cinematography suck tonight. Strap in for one last wild ride folks.
Things begin with a gleeful Kris Jennerscreeching she is in Paris whilst pointing out obvious landmarks like the Eiffel Tower. I feel like issuing a quick apology disclaimer to both France and Italy for having such a nutso family invade their respective countries. Kris is on cloud nine prancing around during her dress fitting. Kanye West and Kris decide she should be showing more cleavage. #NoBoundaries Why does Kanye even want to see old lady cleavage? Kim comes to the rescue and demands Kris keep her boobs in her bra. #ProblemSolved The Jenner-bots look Ah-mah-zing in their bridesmaid dresses, but Kourtney and Khloe are not sold on the look.
So, just how many security personnel does it take to restrain one Joseline Hernandez? Scratch that…how many does it take to restrain the entire cast? The first few minutes of last night’s Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta reunion are total insanity and chaos. I can’t believe they filmed this madness. I’ve said it before, but this time I truly mean it. Shame on you, Mona Scott-Young. That was terrible.
First Joseline goes in on Althea, and I believe Benzino pops her in the head causing Stevie J. to turn into a wild animal. The women are fighting and throwing guitars (that poor band), as host Sommore is escorted off-stage. ‘Zino is screaming “Get off me, get my girl” to security as five grown men are unable to contain Stevie. He is literally undressing to get out of their grasp. The screen goes dark, and we are informed that Joseline and Stevie were able to break away from security. Joseline then bum rushes the stage and starts wailing on Tammy Rivera. What? They had about two minutes of minor beef in the second episode. Really? As Joseline loses her weave in the melee, Tammy procures an arm load of water (vodka?) bottles and starts pelting them. The screen goes black again, and we learn that the set has been locked down and Stevie and Joseline have left the building. Zino and The-The also choose to leave.
The second part of the reunion is off to a seriously scary start, and Sommore apologizes for the “altercation” after the remaining cast members rejoin her on the stage. She informs us of the Twitter battle that Zino and Stevie have been embroiled in pre-reunion, and she is shocked that Joseline was able to go from zero to a hundred on the psycho-meter just seconds after the ladies were chatting about shoes. Erica Dixon brings up her outfit (Joseline apparently didn’t want to dress like she was going to the Oscars), and Lil’ Scrappy believes she came dressed to fight. Erica recaps what started the fight, and Karlie Redd and Rasheeda couldn’t believe the level of rage in Joseline. My bad, the hair I originally referenced was actually Tammy’s. Poor Tammy seems to be the consensus.