I know we’ve all referred to the stars of Vanderpump Rules as “Vanderpump Fools” but you know, if the condom fits! Happily some of these people have taken the tentative steps towards adulthood, however most of them are still mixing reiki with booze and wondering why their back hurts.
On part 2 of the reunion, Jax Taylor continued to be confused about, well, everything. Lala Kent defined feminism and her finances, and Katie Maloney cried about how amazing Tom Schwartz is. Regardless of how flawed it may be, it’s nice to finally see these two happy – especially considering how unhappy their wedding was!
Southern Charm New Orleans really upped its game last night. Not only was my mouth watering the entirety of the show, the New Orleans crowd actually had a fun time together! Other than spending far too much time falling down a Myrtles rabbit hole on the internet (and not getting much sleep last night because of it), this episode solidified my adoration for this show. Take that, Savannah!
Reagan Charleston is blessing her new French Quarter apartment by burning sage with her sister as husband Jeff tends to the dogs thirty plus miles (and one long-ass bridge) away. Tamica Lee is about to head out of town with her cousin Jared. She straddles Jared and packs some roadies. The pair is heading to see Jared’s mom in the country after his recent coming out to his friend group. While he’s now told her he is gay, he hasn’t seen her face-to-face. Barry Smith bids farewell to his wife who isn’t looking forward to the road trip.
Buckle up friends because this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac was a wild ride. Monique Samuels may have gone fly fishing instead of clay pigeon shooting, but she spent most of her time dodging verbal bullets. Karen Huger is bringing her “A” game to the show even though she refuses to participate in anything sporty or athletic. Candiace Dillard is still fighting with Charrisse Jordan and Ashley Darby is putting out all her dirty laundry (with the exception of a little something that may or may not allegedly happened in a London hotel). Gizelle Bryant brought her usual snarky commentary which I personally laugh at even though it’s everything I’ve told my children not to do. Finally, Robyn Dixon was… help me out people… she’s… very sporty.
We start back where we left off last week: At the luncheon in Nemacolins Resort where Candiace and Gizelle are having the “you’re dumb no you’re dumb” fight. Thankfully, Ashley hops up from the table and decides that it’s time to show the women their rooms. Monique is still a little toasted from her bottle of wine on the way up, so she doesn’t care what room she gets just as long as it has clean sheets, a soft pillow, and I’m guessing a bottle of aspirin for the next morning. Gizelle and Karen aren’t tired though, and they meet up to gossip. Neither really understands Candiace at all, but they both think her calling Charrisse ‘Geriatric Grandma’ was pretty funny. Sidebar: I really like when Gizelle and Karen talk like this together and was sorry to hear Karen say on WWHL that they are now enemies.
Is it just me or is the gang from Southern Charm growing up before our very eyes? What’s with all the maturity and decent life choices? Listen, I realize they still have a long way to go, but I’m proud of this motley crew!
Cameran Eubanks has a stubborn cervix, so her OB may have to induce labor. She calls husband Jason with this news, but as an anesthesiologist, he has nary a reaction. He gives epidurals all day, every day. She warns him not to be one of those husbands who says “we’re in labor,” and I love it! Meanwhile, Kathryn Dennis is on the phone with Marshall, the owner of Gwynn’s department store, which is a very she-she and expensive place to shop. She’s hoping to work with them in some capacity, but there isn’t exactly a position available. However, he’s always willing to speak with people who could potentially be a good fit, so they set up an interview time. It’s nice to see Kathryn minding her Ps and Qs again.
If you’re like me, you will find yourself occasionally shouting things incoherently at your TV screen. It tends to happen from time to time, because hey, it’s the American way. This week’s episode of Survivor was one of those times, where it was so easy for me to see the right move to make sitting in the comfort of my own home, pajamas on, eating cookies. “Just do it! Make the big move!” I would say, expletives deleted. Sure, I might have been over-compensating by being unnecessarily aggressive towards my TV and the people on it, since just a few moments earlier I was sniffling and crying during the episode’s “loved ones” Reward Challenge. It could have been my allergies, actually. Yes, it was my allergies. That’s my story.
But before we dive in, as I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 12 of Survivor: Ghost Island, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
There’s messy, then there’s Sonja Morgan’s townhouse messy. There’s also Luann de Lesseps’ quickie-marriage-and-divorce messy. And even worse, there’s Dorinda Medley after 3 hundred and four martinis messy. As luck would have it, this week on The Real Housewives Of New York, we get to visit all three crumbling kingdoms in one 53-minute episode! And it’s pretty much as cuckoo as one would expect. But here’s the clincher: We come full circle to a tender moment at the end, which peels back another layer of this group’s continually evolving dynamic.
Tinsley Mortimer is back from being stalked/surprised by Scott whisking her off to Chicago, so she wants to spill all of the giddy details to Carole Radziwill over breakfast. Carole isn’t in a good place with Adam, though. He’s apparently met someone else – someone who will actually admit dating him? Because Carole sure as hell wasn’t up for that sh*t. But she’s not up for him dating anyone else either. Essentially, Carole claims Adam didn’t want to break up, so she just accidentally “slipped back into a relationship” with him. But now? It’s OVAH! So it sounds like there will be no more slipping back into anything, anywhere, anytime from now on.
Last night was part 3 of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. Which means this season of interminable squabbles about protocol and etiquette at the queen’s court of public opinion, an unintentional farce from the court jester, is over. Thank you Dorit Kemsley for your tragicomic contributions to Reality TV – we salute you with a beer stein filled with cheap champagne.
So last night the ladies of Beverly Hills trotted out their plethora of headache-inducing shiny dresses for the last time to bicker over such impotent social slights as who talks about themselves the most (the answer: always and forever Kyle Richards) and the definition of a liar. For the record, I really dislike recapping reunions. It’s like following a verbal tennis game and I always want to activate closed captioning on my TV to catch all the shady little barbs, except I don’t actually know how to turn that on. Maybe that’s a good thing?
My DVR caught the tail end of Teen Mom 2 and the highlights of what’s to come with their new season. So many questions, so many train wrecks. Leah hooked up with Jeremy? Remember Jeremy? He was her second husband who she seemed to marry after a month and get a divorce from like two weeks later. Here’s a novel idea, how about you slow down and figure out if you truly want to be married to that person and should you marry that person you give it some actual time before rushing to file for divorce! Not to be outdone, it seems one, Ms. Jenelle EvansRogersEvans Eason, will be getting a visit from the cops regarding the welfare of her children. You know what? If the cops show up to my house asking if my child is OK I’m going to let them in and say heck yes, would you like to see just how OK? People who take care of their children don’t need to be defensive. Just in case you think the crazy is saved for the girls, Javi was thinking about proposing to Brianna? Javi, did you learn nothing from rushing into marriage with the last Teen Mom you were with? Does it not seem concerning the new Teen Mom just gave birth to her second baby with a second baby daddy and that you’ve been dating for five minutes? And then we get Chelsea crying over Adam’s mom being mean. I truly think MTV is completely irresponsible for having Janelle still on the show and I think about quitting but a trailer like this sure makes it difficult. I’m a sucker for a show that leaves me yelling and shaking my head at the tv. With that, I guess we better get on to the new business that keeps us yelling and shaking our heads: Teen Mom Young and Pregnant!