Recaps

Teen Mom 2 Season 8 Premiere : Cold Feet

After a one week hiatus, Teen Mom 2 is picking up right where we left off from the last episode. Briana DeJesus is still fighting with her ex Luis about his level of involvement in their newborn’s life, Leah Messer is trying to figure out how to accommodate all of her girls and their own unique needs, Chelsea DeBoer is planning for her upcoming wedding reception, over a year in the making, Kailyn Lowry is stressing over the impending birth of her third child and finally, Jenelle Evans is fighting with everyone as usual.

After a recent trip to the ER and discovering that baby Stella has holes in her heart, she seems to be doing much better but baby daddy Luis still hasn’t come around to help out or check on her, which comes as a surprise to no one. It definitely isn’t a surprise to Briana, who tells her friend Shirley about his lack of interest while out for donuts. Briana thinks he is staying away because he’s intimidated with her mom and sister always yelling at him when he’s over and that sounds probable given how hard they come for him. I’m not saying it’s not warranted but maybe they could recognize that busting his chops every time he walks through the door might not be the most inviting environment. This is all looking more and more like Devoin and Shirley wants to know if Briana filed for child support like she said she would. Briana has all the paperwork filled out but is hesitant to do so since she knows he is spiteful and it won’t go over well.

90 Day Fiance Recap: Good Morning America

I hereby revoke my previous stance of rooting for Evelyn. Because, it turns out, she is THE WORST. On this week’s 90 Day Fiance, we find out exactly what happens when an 18-year old girl is told by her family that she is super-duper special and gifted. She becomes an insufferable brat who entraps entices a foreigner into marriage with her innocent smile, then promptly begins making his life a living hell. David is finding this out within 48 hours of landing on American soil. Elsewhere, Nicole and Azan fight over how to parent May while, Thailand-David has to break it to Annie’s parents that he is basically baht-less. In Georgia, Molly has to face facts that her daughter, Olivia, is not at ALL okay with Luis moving in. Lastly, Elizabeth prepares to visit her neanderthal fiance, Andrei, in Ireland. She will, of course, need to also travel back in time (like, pre-women’s rights) in order to meet him.

In Morocco, Azan isn’t able to handle a toddler, nor his naked hatred of Nicole, his bride-to-be. When Nicole yells at him on the street about how he (rather than her, the actual parent) should pay better attention to May, Azan is once again embarrassed by her in public. Which he should be used to by now. But it’s been a few months since his last trip of torture, so maybe he’s rusty? Nicole just wants to pull the “I’m May’s mom!” card when it’s convenient, scolding Azan about giving in to her fits too much. HA! This comes from the chick who literally pushes, screams at, and blackmails people every time they don’t give into her pathetic whining.

Shahs of Sunset Season 6 Reunion Part 2 : About Those Doubts

Looks like we made it! Shahs of Sunset season six is officially finished and tonight’s part two of the reunion did its best to leave no stone unturned when it came to the burning questions of the season like what’s up with Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi’s marriage? Is she a less angry, better hearing version of herself thanks to rehab and a hearing aid? Is Mike Shouhed still seeing ex-wife Jessica Parido? Does anyone still care at this point? Is Reza Farahan faithful to husband Adam Neely? Does anyone care about that either? And finally, why is Asa Soltan Rahmati on the show? I guess people care about this one. OK, so none of these were really burning questions but Bravo loves to drag out these reunions so whatevs, here’s the breakdown of it all.

We resume from last week’s cliffhanger about whether or not Reza believes his soon-to-be-ex-best-friend Asa’s claim that she didn’t do IVF to conceive her son. Reza, being the slime ball friend that he is, says he does believe her but he has doubts. So he doesn’t believe her? No, he believes her but he hates himself for having doubts. Ohhh I see, he wants so badly to believe his friend but he is also Reza and therefore cannot be trusted and wants to roll with everyone who is pushing Asa out this season, so he can’t stand by her. Are you all following this? I think this is the end of Asa. Because as much as she can be annoying with her magical diamond liquid gold baby organic priestess-ness, she is probably the only one on the show who does value her friendships and now that her friendship with Reza is fractured, what is the point of it all?

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: The Public Shaming Of Melissa

It’s official: Siggy Flicker’s sanity has left the building. It remains to be seen whether this circumstance will solidify her spot on The Real Housewives Of New Jersey long term (because, hey, we like our housewives messy!) or will get her booted off with nary a ruined cake as a parting gift. Until then, it’s all aboard the crazy train for us! Good thing we’re used to these kinds of barf-inducing rides. Dolores Catania also comes unhinged this week when Danielle Staub accuses her of trash-talking Teresa Giuidice behind her back. Thus the newest Housewives catchphrase – which I fully intend to use on someone special in the near future – is born: Welcome Back, Scumbag! It’s truly a greeting for every occasion.

We begin at Teresa’s house, where she’s making pork chops with her father while the kids tear the house apart. So, a standard day at the Giudice home. With Joe Giudice in prison, Teresa is essentially a single mom, but at least she has her father moved in to comfort her. The family is still reeling from the loss of Tre’s mom, though, in addition to Joe being locked up.

Survivor: HHH Episode 5 Recap: The Middle Man

Things change so often on Survivor that as a player, it’s always good to keep your options open. During Episode 5, one contestant was forced to choose a side moving forward, between a Day One ally and someone whom this person shared a special bond with. But ultimately was the right decision made?

Please remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 5 of Survivor: HHH, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

Dance Moms Finale Recap: Witches And Bit

On last night’s two hour finale of Dance Moms, Cheryl Burke stays true to her word and returns to coach the Irreplaceables to victory. However, Jill and Kendall have gone out of town so Cheryl insists on bringing in a fifth dancer for the “Coven” group routine. She jokes that the girls will be witches while the mothers are bitches. Truth! This news causes the mothers to bristle. Who will the new girl be? Will she get a solo? What does this mean for their girls? Cheryl quickly shows them the door. Let her do her job, people!

Of course, the moms are less than thrilled when dancer Reagan arrives with her mother Julie. Reagan has competed against the girls, and the mothers don’t welcome Julie with open arms. Julie wants her daughter to have a solo given that she’s been excommunicated from all her teams for all the hopping around. Julie tries to make awkward jokes as Holly, Christi, and Camille become increasingly peeved at the attention Reagan is receiving. When she is granted a solo alongside Camryn and Kalani, the mothers go ballistic.

Jen sasses Kate

On last night’s Below Deck, pretty much everyone was terrible. Except Bruno Duarte. Yes, Bruno was pretty much sugar, spice, and everything nice, but the rest of the crew…

Nico Scholly so does not care about cheating on his girlfriend anymore. From halfway around the world, Melissa is sensing that something is wrong and calling him an extra lot about why he’s distancing her. I mean, other than the whole ‘on a yacht in the sea’ thing, she means like emotional distance. The answer: Brianna Adekeye. Big ol’ UGH on that girl!

While Nico is getting his sea quests on, Matt Burns is trying to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend. He suggests they get together while he’s on leave and is met with a flat-out “Nope.” She’s not interested. Strangely, eerily, after the hot mess express disaster he’s been, Matt takes this in stride… straight to the bar.

Lydia in Iceland

You can take the Real Housewives Of Orange County out of the OC, but you can’t take the OC out of the girls, right? Lydia McLaughlin tried when she hauled them all the way to Iceland on the other end of the earth but wound up arguing over the same trivial details anyway.

For all her complaining that she’s left out of the fun (what fun? I ask you) Lydia did put together a helluva a trip for these women. I guess she was trying to suck up and make them like her or something. They arrive in the land of eternal daylight of the shit-talking mind, and Tamra Judge worries that exposure to all this sun will add to her wrinkle collection. Like she might soon start looking (and acting!?) her age. Of course, they have plastic surgery for this, but still – the real Tamra is not her best side.

On the bus from the airport Kelly Dodd is the only person who gives a flying figaloon that they are in this beautiful country. As she quizzes the driver about local customs from the no puke zone at the front of the bus, the other women roll their eyes.