The countdown is finally over! We Vanderpump Rules watchers have finally arrived at the inevitable nuptials of two people so solely unhappy together it’s almost not funny. So, yes, last night was the debut of Katie Maloney‘s wedding gown and it was even worse than Scheana Marie‘s. But the biggest shock was that Tom 2 actually seemed happy to be getting married. That’s a change!
Tom and Katie spent $51,000 on a wedding in someone’s backyard next to the train tracks, yet Tom couldn’t afford to fly his family out to attend. Only his mom, Kim, the object of Jax Taylor‘s wanton obsession, has made it. Thus far anyway. I guess Jax imagines that Kim is a woman who knows how to make a turkey sandwich?
Anyway, call me confused but wouldn’t you factor ‘flying family to wedding’ into your budget above $10,000 worth of flowers, or a $4,000 Tacky Tuesday rehearsal dinner? Was Tom 2 too afraid of Katie’s wrath or something… Likely he actually fears Katie’s combined forces with Stassi Schroeder, the official plus one of his wedding and entire life. Yes, after all her maneuvering Stassi has finally secured the spot of Maid Of Honor. Unofficially so as not to hurt Kristen Doute‘s feelings, but honestly where else would one place their Celestial Wife in the order of things?
OK, so if you tuned in for the supersized Teen Mom 2 last night, we are now on to the actual reunion portion of things, with hopefully ALL the teen moms. If you didn’t have the stomach for two hours (and believe me, I understand), check out my recap on the first half so you’re all caught up. You’re going to need it as a point of reference and really, that’s where all the action happened. Tonight’s reunion was pretty quiet in comparison.
As Leah Messer and Kailyn Lowry get hair and makeup, Chelsea Houska is back on set after a fever yesterday and (surprise!) so is Jenelle Evans, who faked sick and stormed off set because she was mad at her mom. In the makeup chair, Jenelle defends herself and blames the producers again for her troubles with Barb. Under the watchful eye of Baby Daddy/Creepy Control Freak David Eason, Jenelle goes to film her intro on the reunion and when asked what her most positive trait is, she doesn’t have one but two for us: being well spoken and also, educated. HA! With that little gem, on with the show!
So last week on Teen Mom 2, we were left with the ever frustrating “To Be Continued…..” as Kailyn Lowry proclaimed to soon-to-be ex-husband Javi Marroquin that “sometimes you need to hurt people to make yourself happy.” That seems to sum up Kail pretty nicely but hey, at least girlfriend is staying true to herself. Naturally, Javi can’t leave on that note and after storming out, he storms right back in – without knocking!!!! Take that, Kail!
When Javi does come back in, he doesn’t get the warmest welcome and Kail immediately tells him to get out. Javi plops down on the couch and says he doesn’t want to fight anymore. Kail insists that she doesn’t want to make their divorce about them, it’s about Lincoln. No, sweetie, your divorce is about your marriage, not your child but nice try to get out of dealing with whatever problems you guys did have that led up to this point. After brow beating Javi some more, he is finally worn down to the point of getting teary and realizes he won’t get through to Kail at all. He asks if they can leave today on good terms and co-parent together. “That’s up to you” Kail snaps back. On to the reunion!
I gotta say Phaedra really disappointed me. Usually I’d see Kenya as the cartoon cheetah in this scenario, but last night it was sooo Phaedra! One thing about this trip to Maui was that that the ladies really shed their facades and let their guards down for a change.
The episode opens with Kenya and Phaedra playing tennis, bantering as they batted balls – badly – back and forth. Kenya seems hopeful that she and Phaedra are on their way to a real friendship, but Phaedra is still content to keep things at a distance. Although she’s glad she and Kenya aren’t having drama like everyone else. DUH – DUH -DUH… that’s some horror movie foreshadowing right there! Especially when Phaedra mentions, again, that she doesn’t quite trust Kenya (or any of these girls) with the status of her divorce.
If last week’s double-episode premiere of “Survivor: Game Changers” was any indication, then this group is here to play. But despite how good of a player one may deem him or herself, luck always is a major factor in shaping how a season goes. Not only that, but the game itself will usually contain enough twists and surprises to keep most players humble.
Last night’s episode of Survivor not only gave us the first big “game twist” of the season, but it also included the first hidden Immunity Idol find. Add to that, we learned at Tribal Council that in a season of game-changers, “strength” is in the eye of the beholder. Get ready to grab this goat by the horns – a male goat, not a baby or mama goat please – and let’s get to recappin’!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
Sigh – Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is always one step forward; two steps back. Last night, the ladies journeyed halfway across the globe, from Beverly Hills to Hong Kong, only to find themselves mired in the same old “who said it” drama. Well, it’s good to change it up a bit and fight in new settings, and the gorgeous scenery did not disappoint.
It’s a fourteen-hour flight, which means one could find themselves trapped on an airplane using Kyle Richards‘ hair kaftan as a blanket (or parachute!), or being bored to death by Eileen Davidson discussing trans-particle fusion as applied to soap villainesses and their cognitive dissonance coping skills.
Terra Jole came back to reality on last night’s Little Women: LA, and that reality was filled with health problems and broken friendships. As Terra prepares for hernia surgery, Christy McGinity Gibel begins the slow process of recovering from neck surgery – including complications which resulted in a mini-stroke. Sadly, the group is so fractured at this point, they can barely support Terra or Christy in their time of need, focusing instead on their resentments and anger. Case in point: Briana Renee and Elena Gant.
Terra returns home after her press junket, which followed elimination from Dancing With the Stars. Tonya Banks has been Terra’s sole support system throughout her stint on the show, while Joe Gnoffo has basically been imprisoned with their two children (he can’t leave the house with them, given his own health challenges). After coming home, Joe admits he’s glad DWTS is over. Terra admits she placed a ton of pressure on him to single-parent their kids while she was gone, but now she has to face the music – motherhood and hernia surgery.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules traveled through the few remaining days before Tom Schwartz legally yoked himself to Tequila Katie. Actually, Tom has optimistically decided to eulogize Tequila Katie – maybe that explains why they spent $10,000 on flowers! Double-duty for a funeral?
Before everyone converges in the middle of nowhere “where no one can hear you squeal, boy,” (name that movie!) Tom 1 and Jax Taylor must take care of some risky business in the big city. They must summon their courage with a tiny trumpet and drink raw eggs for manliness. They’re doing this for Tom 2. As he relinquishes his bank account, his soul, and what’s left of the d–k he can only partially find, that only partially works, Tom 1 and Jax will be his everlasting strength.