Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!
On last night’s My Five Wives, Brady Williams hopes in vain that his business will turn around, the family tries to rekindle relationships with their birth families, Rhonda’s son has a health scare which forces her to make a big decision, and the awkward double dates continue.
Rhonda gets ready for another long day at work, saying her kids miss her during her 12-hour shifts as a medical assistant, but that she loves her job. Nonie is busy taking care of her own brood and a couple of Rhonda’s kids while she also works in Brady’s office. According to Nonie, all of the wives work in and out of the home. Not sure we’ve seen concrete evidence of this yet.
Since the season opener of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, we have anticipated the passing of Josh Flagg’s beloved grandmother, Edith. Pass the hanky…that episode has finally come. No more chats in her deluxe apartment in the sky. No more lunches at La Dolce Vita. No more pearls of wisdom to pass along. This woman who endeared herself to us and showed us the softer side of Josh, may be gone from this life, but she is certainly not forgotten. Edith is in our hearts forever.
But before we turn on the waterworks, we must first endure another installment of ‘Will the Brits pull off another impossible deal?’ and ‘The Days of Our Un-Engaged Lives’ with Josh Altman and Heather. James Harris and David Parnes have ramped up the yip yap factor this week to an eleven (Spinal Tap, anyone?) and Josh seems to be back to his old self swimming with fellow shark, Daymond John, founder and CEO of FUBU, and investor on the reality television series Shark Tank.
On last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood, we got to see more than our fair share of silly altercations. This show has just become a “lather, rinse, repeat” cycle…one that Mona knows best. However, I do like an episode that shows Soulja Boy’s boyish charm (did I really just type that and mean it?) and Omarion in any capacity!
When the episode starts, Apryl and Omarion are practicing birthing techniques with the help of a midwife, but Apryl is getting more and more freaked out by the idea of a home birth. Omarion want his son to be circumcised, but Apryl challenges him to strip off the turtleneck from his own manhood when their son goes under the knife. Omarion begrudgingly agrees–if his newborn son is man enough to undergo the procedure, he is too. He shares that he told his mom to apologize to Apryl for her behavior at the shower. Apryl agrees to listen to what Leslie has to say, but she’s not burying the hatchet yet.
On this episode of Manzo’d With Children, it looks like a typical summer day in the Manzo household with Albie and Christopher practicing their chip shot in the backyard and Lauren moping around them. Caroline decides to drop the bomb that they are heading to good ole Austin Texas next week to do some research on BBQ sauce. It’s the last family vacay before Lauren gets married and Caroline wants to make sure her bbq sauce is competitive with other brands out there before it hits the shelves. The whole family is on board and this should be fun!
As they’re packing their stuff up, we learn Albie and Christopher’s dog died last Christmas and the last memory they have is of him peeing on their luggage. Gross. Across the hallway, Lauren is packing stilettos and might want to throw in some gym shoes because you know, Texas has dirt. Good God. Christopher is eager to get to Texas and experience some authentic Texas goodies (gun fights, big hair, etc.). While I appreciate their stabs at humor, it’s just very Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie-esque and not funny at all. Meanwhile, we learn Abie is now not eating meat and it’s apparently huge drama as Texas might not have any white meat for him. Oiy!
On Secrets Revealed Part 1 Bravo unveiled all the Real Housewives Of New Jersey drama we missed. The ladies packed up all the tampons at ShopRite and traveled to Atlantic City via party bus. We – and they – can thank the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad twins for this trip!
And a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip it was! In synopsis: everyone had their period, Amber Marchese wants to be a Russian hooker named Alana when she grows up, Twinsanity, and Dina Manzo files Atlantic City under “White Trash” in the zen-dictionary.
Of course, more happened: first of all Teresa Giudice packed like her life depended on it – did she know this was the last time, for a long time, she’d be strutting her sequins out on vacation? A party bus, hired by a twin, picked-up Melissa Gorga, then Teresa. Melissa spotting Teresa standing in front of a mountain of luggage, in front of her gelatinous mountain of tackstronomy house, observed, “You need to learn to scale back girlfriend.” Truer words, Melis! They tawk periods and pick-up Dina who is DUH – like on her period!
Albie Manzo and Chris Manzoare having their friends over for a casual night of cards and fun. In true high school fashion, Caroline interrupts the party the party in the basement to tell the boys to keep it down. Brittney is among the guests and Caroline compliments on her top (which happens to consist of a peach-colored Kleenex and some dental floss (bonus: it has pockets!) on her way out. Caroline is a tad concerned as Brit-Brit is showing her face more often than she expected.
On last night’s My Five Wives, Brady Williams comes up with a not-so-bright idea, becomes a grandpa, and celebrates Father’s Day with his 24 kids.
It’s another fine day at the polygamous compound, and Brady leaps out of Robyn’s bed to start the day by visiting each of his other wives for his “good morning” routine. Rosemary is feeling down and out. Noniereminds us that she is still trying for another baby, while Paulie is empty-nesting it and keeping up with her running. All of the wives, and Brady, are feeling like they’re not getting enough time with each other. Brady says his main challenge is “being fair with his time.” I thought his biggest challenge was bankrolling the lives of 29 dependents?