I feel exhausted. Why can’t the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills just have fun together and be friends? This show is fabulous when everyone on it is fabulous: fabulously dressed, fabulously wealthy, fabulously living, fabulously connected, and fabulously friends. When they resort to low-level manipulative pandering of ‘take down storylines’ – take downs of the same woman, season after season, I might add – it becomes unbearably trite.
I get it – no one in the 90210 zipcode and its surrounding areas can stand Lisa Vanderpump! She’s too busy having fun with ponies to sweat y’all’s smallstuff, though.
In case you’ve forgotten Yolanda Foster has Lyme Disease, and the only part of her brain that remains in functioning order is the manipulative faction. Ain’t that aces for her reality TV career! She’s got some inexplicable issue with LVP that’s gonna play out again and again until the 4 tenors sing off-key.
Does anyone else feel like we’re missing something on VanderpumpRules? Besides the obvious lack of maturity? It just feels like we’re not getting the full story regarding TomSandoval and ArianaMadix.
Everyone seems to really despise Tom and Ariana all of the sudden? I refuse to believe the “Dislike” button plaguing these two like a cloud of Axe Body Spray that you got zapped with by the Costco sample lady, is purely about all their friends suddenly lovingKristen Doute. Honestly, has anyone even given a reason for why they want to hang out with Kristen soooo badly. A reason other than “Kristen is FUN!”? Fun does not totally a friendship make.
Other than Saint Kristen pulling of a coup d’etat by winning back the approval of the most-exalted masses of SUR, Stassi Schroeder‘s re-entry into the friend group is causing major anxiety for JaxTaylor and ScheanaMarie, the two worst people in We-Ho!
The twins are determined to become more independent. The first step is learning how to drive! Andrea and AmandaSalinas enroll in driving school where pedal extenders and special pillows are employed so they can reach the wheel and the brakes. Andrea even has to drive with both feet.
After a few nerve-wracking almost misses both twins feel like they’re getting the hang of driving. Yet they realize it will be a long time before they get a license and they still need to get around, which means bikes!
Little Women: LA unleashed a big news item yesterday that will surely rock the worlds of every baby-thirsty castmate on its roster: Elena Gant is indeed pregnant with twins! She and Preston expect the babies in June and, so far, mom-to-be is healthy and happy. (No word on whether the babies have been determined to be little or average sized yet.) Yay for Elena and Preston! Not sure when the big reveal will happen on the current season’s timeline, but it sure throws some perspective on Elena’s anger at Jasmine Sorge not inviting her to that “mommy” party in episode one, does it not? Hmmm. Now, on to the show!
At Jasmine’s father’s restaurant, she and her hubby Chris are discussing how working there is going for him. It’s not his dream job, obviously, but until he finds in-state railroad work, it’ll do. In the spirit of extending an olive branch to Elena, Jasmine wants to invite all of the ladies and their significant others to a “couples” party at the restaurant. Chris admits it might feel awkward for him to be busing tables while the party ensues, but sweet guy that he is, says he’ll go with the flow for Jasmine’s sake. Dang, woman! Can’t you at least schedule this party on a night that the better other half of YOUR couple can attend as a guest!?
I’m not going to lie, watching last night’s Mob Wives was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do for this gig. I’ve recapped this show since it started, and I loved getting to see Big Ang’s fun-loving personality on her drama-free spin-off Big Ang. It’s so sad to recap Ang’s battle with cancer (and her co-stars’ ridiculous petty, immature, and bullish behavior) knowing the outcome. However, I poured a glass of wine, toasted Ang’s sass and class, and tried to keep the tears to a minimum…and I’m guessing a lot of you did the same!
When the episode begins, Drita D’avanzo is still raging at the thought that Karen Gravano is spreading lies about Lee, but she won’t let it spoil the high of her finishing the first draft of her memoir. She shares a precious exchange with daughter Giselle whose birthday is quickly approaching. All Giselle wants as a gift is a second puppy, but she knows her dad will be a tough sell. Drita does a role play where she pretends to be Lee so Giselle can practice her powers of persuasion. Get that adorable child another dog!
I do not like my Lisa Vanderpump fighting with my Eileen Davidson. Unequivocally my two favorite Housewives, I demand they become friends. Eileen is my Spirit Housewife, but Lisa is the Top Seat in my Fantasy Housewife League. I don’t have time for all the over-analyzing required of choosing sides. I blame Erika Jayne-Giradi and by default Yolanda for this. Erika had an extremely brief moment in the sun, didn’t she?
Thank goodness Maddie was back on last night’s Dance Moms. She has to mitigate some of Abby Lee Miller’s crazy, right? Um, that’s to be determined. The ALDC welcomes back Maddie from her movie shoot, but Abby is quick to remind her that she didn’t garner the first place spot due to all of her gaps in training. Melissa interrupts to ask Abby if she saw Maddie’s segment on Ellen. Nope! Melissa reminds Abby she e-mailed it so she can still watch it. A dismissive Abby claims she’s too busy to take the time to view the three minute clip, and Maddie is clearly hurt.
Ariana Madix is in a funk. Is that funk is hanging out with Scheana Marie (who complains that Ariana hasn’t been there as much as Scheana needs her to be)? Ariana carries a general malaise that can’t be cured by looking hot in a lace bikini! If shopping doesn’t work like Prozac, something is amiss! It’s not like Ariana is Stassi Schroeder, living on Kristen Doute‘s couch (no, no – not the one she banged Jax on while watching Drive, but more on that couch in a bit!).