Recaps

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From what I understand from you dear readers, we won’t be seeing Joseline Hernandez on the first few episodes of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta due to her behavior on last season’s reunion. It’s kind of like when I got suspended from cheering in one high school football game for being late to practice one too many times. Breaking bottles over people’s heads, tardiness…both valid reasons to use suspension as a punishment. Lessons learned in both cases for sure! At least we can count on Stevie J, Lil Scrappy, and Kirk Frost’s antics to entertain us in her absence, right? At least Rasheeda is now aware of Kirk’s secret downtown “office”! 

Last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta begins with Stevie confronting Nikko in a dark parking lot. Both men pretend to push one another (with nary contact made) before being dramatically pulled apart by the production team. Thankfully, the other guys on this show are acting more like gentlemen. Yung Joc is dressed for the part of day at the driving range with Scrappy and Kirk. Scrappy admits he’s more strip club than golf course. Joc is in a serious relationship with Khadiyah, and Kirk questions how many children his friend has total, crossing his fingers that someone besides Stevie has more kids than he does. Joc has eight in his brood, including two sets of twins (whose moms were pregnant at the same time). Pheeww! Kirk breathes a sigh of relief…he’s only got six kids and four grandchildren. Kirk reveals that he’s been hanging with his artist Ashley, who he met at a sports club…just like his last lady “friend,” but it’s totally professional no matter how attractive he finds her. He also tells his friends that Rasheeda has no clue about his downtown crib and money problems. As only Scrappy can (unintelligibly and sans subtitles), he warns his friend to not to mix biz-nigh-ee with banging. 

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RHOA season 7 reunion part 1

NeNe Leakes has 99 problems… and they’re all her fault! Her problems include: wigs, friendships, successes, rejection of Claudia Jordan, saying what she said because she said it…  NeNe’s refrain throughout the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion, was “You’re right, I’m wrong.” Probably. No, it’s not NeNe who has a million problems – it’s RHOA… This was supposed to be the SEASON 7 reunion, but almost everything discussed was a SEASON 6 issue. Dejaview!

The only things different are Apollo is incarcerated and Claudia is lapping up everyone’s storyline dregs like she’s been through the dessert on a stallion booty with no name and it’s been good to get into the shade. In Atlanta no one can remember your name unless you try extra hard with the reads and the complaints! 

Let’s talk outfits: Porsha Williams was the worst – it looked like a cheap shower curtain. And that train! That girl and her issues with trains. #UndergroundRailroad. 

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Blood Sweat and heels

Last night on Blood, Sweat and Heels the ladies of NYC deal with the aftermath of Geneva Thomas’ arrest. We open with Daisy Lewellen dancing around her room and worshiping at the altar of her designer wigs. (Her wigs do look killer this season.)

Across town, Mica Hughes is sitting on the floor of her closet surrounded by $49.99 wigs and complaining to Daisy on the phone that her hair is beat. If that short-short wig Mica wore last episode is in this pile of bargain weaves, she needs to feed it to her chinchilla, pronto. Mica & Daisy discuss Arzo Anwar’s upcoming runway presentation (for one of the designers she carries), and Daisy’s excited to attend a positive event now that her chemo is done (YAY!). Next step: radiation. Daisy fills Mica in on Geneva’s arrest, and Mica almost slips on a wig hearing this news. Mica says she can totally picture Geneva going HAM on the cabbie, given how Geneva’s told Mica off in the past. Then she lets her chinchilla lick her cell phone. Finally, swinging on her stripper pole then promptly falling off of it, Mica ponders the fabulousness that is Mica.

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On last night’s Little Women: NY, the group circles the wagons around Lila Call, whose recent drinking relapse gives them all a wake-up call. We begin at a restaurant with Dawn Lang & Jazmin Lang, who have tension brewing since their disagreement about Jazmin’s performance in Jordanna James recent burlesque show. But they’re not here to fight. They’re here because Christy McGinty (of Little Women: L.A.) reached out to Dawn about Lila. Christy, a recovering alcoholic, walks into the restaurant to tell Dawn & Jazmin that Lila’s been sending her weird texts at all hours of the day this past week, telling her she’s been drinking wine, and has basically fallen off the wagon. Lila was sober for about a year up to this point, having been to rehab in the past and a participant in AA since then.

Christy asks the girls if Lila’s been drinking. Jazmin evades the question, not wanting to “throw Lila under the bus.” “Have you guys gone out drinking with her?” Christy flat out asks them, and Dawn finally says yes. She says Jazmin has been drinking with Lila too, although Jazmin has been basically struck mute in the corner of the booth. The ladies then confess that they’ve seen Lila drinking, but don’t think she’s out of control. Christy reminds them that some alcoholic’s “rock bottom” is death. Jazmin finally sits up and listens, and all three ladies agree that they need to confront Lila in an intervention. Christy reminds them that this is all out of love, not anger.

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Love & Hip Hop

Oh, Married to Medicine, I mean Medicine (thanks so much to the commenter who always makes me laugh by giving him that moniker!), I guess you’ve learned that it’s always best to tell the truth…even if the truth could cost you millions of dollars and potentially years away from the free world. And we all agreed that this past season of Love & Hip Hop was boring–what were we thinking? 

Mendeecees Harris, one of the stars of VH1’s original L&HH franchise, has finally faced the music…and not of the hip hop variety. On Tuesday, Yandy Smith’s fiance pleaded guilty to the drug charges that have plagued him of late and sent him to prison for a good portion of the past season. 

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RHONY brunch with Bethenny Frankel

Ramona Singer stole a dress from Bethenny Frankel, so Bethenny Frankel retaliated by stealing a brunch from Ramona Singer. Such are the trivialities of our Real Housewives Of New York. Bethenny claims she’s pissed that Ramona verbally attacked her though, but we don’t believe her. 

Also, let’s get one thing clear – Bethenny didn’t want to host brunch to show off her Hamptons home (and really how could she being homeless and all) she wanted to show off her Skinnygirl collection. 

It all begins at Luann de Lesseps cozy Hamptons abode, the girls are clustered around the living room, drinking coffee and gossiping as real girlfriends do, also leisurely braiding Carole Cradziwill‘s toe hair (EWWW – isn’t that what Cindy Barshop is for – don’t you get the Real Housewives Federation Association discount on all waxations from here until the end of time – if you can manage to find your way out to Quogue.).

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dance moms abby

Last night was the ALDC’s final week in Los Angeles on Dance Moms…somehow I feel like I’ve typed that more than once! As usual, Abby Lee Miller was her normal horribly hateful self…with a few (very few!) moments of compassion. The episode was the battle of the video vixens, except (sadly), in this case, the “vixens” are preteens. Don’t get me started on age appropriateness! Much like MacKenzie was transformed into MackZ, Kendall is no longer Kendall. She’s Kendall K. As she and Jill arrive to the set of her military inspired music video, the first words out of Abby’s mouth are “take that, Holly!” Such class with this one! Abby goes on and on about how Holly has extracted Nia from the group by choosing to work with Aubrey O’Day. Let’s be honest…had she not, is there any one of you who thinks Nia would have gotten the same attention that Abby is now giving Kendall…K? Jill chooses to sleep at night by telling herself that Holly created the ultimate betrayal by not blindly trusting Abby to have her daughter’s best interests at heart. As long as Kendall is finally Abby’s golden child, Jill doesn’t mind potentially losing a friend. I think she’s forgotten just how fickle Abby can be!

At pyramid, JoJo is on the bottom for not standing out in the group routine. MacKenzie joins her for not living up to her potential while in LA. Nia and Kalani make up the middle rung for impressive performances in the group number. Kendall is in the second spot for a stellar video shoot, and Maddie regains her top spot for getting winning the overall solo routine at last week’s competition. This week, Maddie is performing at the Grammys, and she shares that she and Sia have become like family. Kendall and JoJo are granted solos, and JoJo will be dancing in a straight jacket. The group number is entitled Platinum, and Abby likens it to Kendall’s musical future. Nia stands stone-faced, getting zero recognition from her lifelong dance teacher. Abby reveals that this week’s competition will be judged by their peers. 

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Lisa Vanderpump wants grandchildren

Man – I’m disappointed in Bravo. They left out all the fun stuff from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills to focus on Kim “RAMBLES OF MY SOBRIETY” Richards. Yes, we missed Eileen Davidson announcing she’s driving her Ford Flex to collect her Emmy, so we could instead hear KimKillah wax poetic about all the terrible things HARRY did while Lisa Rinna was sleeping, only to deny she ever said them because she doesn’t remember, only to admit she made the whole implication up! Anyway, Bravo – more Emmys and less Kimmies. (And how gorgeous did Eileen look in her Emmy gown).

So, what else happened. Oh – Yolanda Foster “downsized.” With Mauricio as her guide towards these uncharted territories of humble abodes, Yolanda house hunted. Yes – she realized having a 4,000 tree lemon grove was just a touch too much even for her perma-master cleanse state of being, so she looked at houses in the 8,000 – 4,500 square-foot range. But oh, they were just not for Yo!

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