On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies of Jersey continued to fragment – but surprisingly so did the men! There was drunken debauchery, poison expulsion, and a fight! Oh, Joe G-to-the-iudice, why you such a mess?
Things begin with Jacqueline Laurita throwing the wayward Hatley Holmes out of the house. Except, Ashlee’s hatless now – she’s Lohan-esque instead (I would call her Injectibles Holmes, but people might think I’m talking about Jacqueline). Anyway, Jacs didn’t seem at all sad to see her go. And poor, once-promising Albie Manzo was sentenced to drive Ashlee to the airport. In the car she whines and fussed about flying and begs the aeronautics gods to make her 21 so she can get wasted before her flight. Then she brags about the time she drank a bottle of cough syrup through a straw to ease her fear of flying. That’s not completely cracktastic or anything! #rehab.
Albie compares Ashlee to Ke$ha but I think that’s too generous because at least Ke$ha has some semblance of talent (maybe?) and a career of some undeserved recognition.
Melissa Gorga pays a visit to Non-Juicy Joe where he is hard at work overseeing the development of buildings. She’s wearing some sort of tight, mini dress and Joe gooses her as they tour the facilities. Joe owns three buildings on the same street – one for each of their children. Melissa doesn’t get a building – she gets Joe and his poison instead. #luckygirl #sarcasm. They reminisce about a time when they had no money to buy diapers and were poor, poor while Joe was developing his buildings.
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On last night’s Mob WivesKaren found yet another endeavor, and Drita impressed us with her ability to throw down a rhyme. Also impressive? That Renee has kept it together for yet another episode!
Renee Graziano exits her father’s status hearing. She calls Big Ang to reveal how hard it was as her family members and friends ignored her. Her father was in poor health, but he was happy to see Renee there to support him, which made her feel better about such an icky situation. I must say I am impressed to see how well Renee is keeping it together.
Big Ang and her sister Janine head to get some Botox. While she is no stranger to plastic surgery (duh) and injections, it’s her first foray into Botox. It is much more painful than she could have imagined, but she is beyond pleased with the results. Her doctor tries to discourage her from getting extra injections, but Big Ang is addicted. She lurves it.
The first episode starts with Kim discussing her future with baby K.J., showing him her bling and expressing her worries about making things happen in time for the perfect wedding date: 11.11.11. Kim is the first to admit that Kroy is a saint for putting up with her. Super true! Her rationale for the wedding date falls short of a tarot reader beating her over the head with a giant cornucopia. Kroy is unsure how he’s going to swing Kim’s dream wedding during football season. Kim won’t hear it–her first wedding happened on the beach in Destin, lasted ninety days, and (gasp!) there was no reception.
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There are a mere six left on American Idol, with Wednesday night being Queen night. What’s not to love about that?
The show opens with a Queen cover band performing everyone’s favorite “Somebody to Love.” After a fabulous rendition, AI sends the remaining crew to TMZ for some “media training.” Good luck with that! The first two up are Elise Testone and Jessica Sanchez. Jessica doesn’t get the best critique from Jimmy (the judges liked her) for her “Bohemian Rhapsody,” but she blew everyone away with her “Dance With My Father” by Luther VanDross. Randy Jackson couldn’t find a thing wrong with her performance. Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez loved Elise’s Queen cover, but Randy and Steven think she made a poor song choice with her Jimi Hendrix pick. She finds herself the first contestant banished to the bottom three.
On last night’s Survivor the women continued to reign supreme, while Troyzan tried his best to win allies with his mind games.
Tarzan finally realizes that two boys are left compared to six girls so he needs to get on the women’s good side. Kim hates being portrayed as the women’s leader, but she’s happy that Christina and Alicia didn’t fall for Troyzan’s master plan that could have easily taken down the women.
Tree-mail arrives, and it’s more cryptic than ever. Of course, Kat figures she’s safe if she can just solidify her lady vote. At the reward challenge, Jeff Probst poses a series of questions which can be answered with the name of a remaining teammate, and the major obstacle is figuring out how each of their tribe mates will vote. If a player is wrong in guessing what the other tribe mates thought, a rope attached to a voodoo doll with their likeness will be chopped. One too many chops and it’s bye-bye voodoo doll! The winner wins a fantasy picnic on an isle far, far away.
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Well, Gretchen Christine is quite the fair-weather friend isn’t she? So, she arrives at Alexis Bellino‘s latest rent-a-mcmansion and plops her Gretchen Christine handbag on the counter and starts doing the QVC descriptor hands over the intricately designed leatherette flower, while Lex oooohhhs and aaaahhhs. This is taking the Bravo Home Shopping Network a touch too far. Quick question: Anybody out there sporting one of those jalopies? Yeah, didn’t think so!
On last night’s 16 and Pregnant we meet Jordan Howard, a teen from Millersville, Pennsylvania who is in a biracial relationship with Tyler. She discusses her situation with her mother Kelly who isn’t keen on her daughter’s boyfriend. She won’t even let him in her home. Kelly is alright with Jordan staying at Tyler’s house now, but that will change after the baby. The baby WILL stay at Jordan’s house and Tyler will NOT be included. Thankfully, his parents are more supportive. Jordan wants to stay with his parents after the couple’s son is born, but they all know they will face strong opposition from her mother.
Tyler has spent a lot of his savings on baby supplies and furniture. Jordan wants to contribute, so the pair go shopping for baby clothes. It’s worth noting that Tyler is wearing a shirt that says “I’m the guy your parents warned you about.” Tyler and Jordan reveal that her mother is so wary of Tyler because he’s white. She admits she even had some strange reactions from her friends when they first got together. Jordan discusses with her friends her fear about telling her mom about her plans to move in with Tyler’s family.
We have made it to the finish line of yet another Bad Girls Club! Well, except for next week’s reunion, which looks like an edition of Bad Girls Club: Drag Race.
This week, new girl Camilla appears to be having some sort of psychological break with reality. She continues to storm up and down the house, vandalize the giant slot machine with the girl’s pictures on it, and act like the other ladies in the house care. Spoiler alert: they don’t. In the few days Camilla was in the house, she managed to have a girlfriend over, and about seven members of her family, and the rest of the bad girls didn’t even react.