Recaps

Real Housewives of New York recap

Even though I have to, I don’t really want to discuss the ruminating super drama between Bethenny Frankel and Luann de Lesseps. Instead I’d like to focus on the positive and give a prodigious shout-out to Sonja Tremont Morgan, a lady who has turned over a new leaf and out flew a butterfly. Hats off – designer hats with no repairs, that is – to Sonja for being Real Housewives Of New York‘s class-act last night!

The ladies are all yachting around while talking in circles about Tom. Tom-T-Tom-Tom-TOOOM. Poor Sonja has a harness on her dress to holster in her heart nice and tight. But that thing looks uncomfortable and like her boobs were begging for as much mercy as her poor little broken pitter-patter. Sonja admits to Carole Radziwill and Ramona Singer that, well, maybe she’s a little nervous about seeing Tom because well, maybe, she had deeper feelings for him than she let on, and well, Luann is just not really interested in addressing this. Furthermore, Sonja had no idea that Lu knew she and Tom were a thing. 

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Shahs of Sunset Reunion Part 2 recap

Back to back nights of reunion specials are always a little much and that couldn’t be truer than with the Shahs of Sunset. It’s just a lot to handle and I think most of us can agree that we need the Shahs in small, weekly doses. But if part one of the reunion could be summed up as evil eyes, extra marital affairs, and extensions, part two’s theme should be business schemes, standup routines, and sex tapes that no one has seen.

We pick up from last night with Vida sitting back and watching the destruction she caused after throwing her patented Criticism Grenade into the heart of the crew. Mercedes “MJ” Javid and Asa Soltan Rahmati are still going at it and MJ really has an axe to grind here. Tommy Feight, drinks his free champagne and is happy as a clam, completely unaffected by the drama going on around him. If anyone can handle dating someone on a reality show, I’m starting to think it is Tommy.

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Little Women: LA recap

It’s time for more baby showers that no one wants to attend and friendships that no one wants to mend on this week’s Little Women: LA!

Last night we learned that Jasmine Sorge is a glutton for punishment as she throws Briana Renee another awkwardly attended shower, despite Briana’s horrid treatment of her. Did Jasmine learn nothing from that el depresso bridal shower last season? This will not be a gathering of happy campers. (Literally, the RSVP boxes on these shower invites should read: “Yes,” “Regretfully, no” and “What the f*ck dude!?”)

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Shahs of Sunset Reunion Part 1 Recap

It’s that time again, where the Shahs of Sunset gather around a large spread of food and rip each other to shreds. If I were to sum up part one of this reunion, in a few words, it would be: evil eyes, extramarital affairs, and hair extensions. So. Many. Extensions. Asa Soltan Rahmati isn’t wearing them but she made up for her lack of fake hair in about sixty pounds of tacky jewelry.

Some of the covered topics on tonight’s reunion include: Reza Farahan’s ambush wedding to Adam Neely, the breakup of Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido, and the hot new romance between Mercedes “MJ” Javid and everyone’s favorite neighborhood lug, Tommy Feight. We are also subjected to treated to an appearance by Vida, who just could not miss an opportunity to criticize these easy targets.

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Famously Single Season Finale recap

Well, we have made it to the season finale of Famously Single and this might have been the longest/shortest season of a reality show in recent memory. What I mean is that we have only sat through eight episodes, but this seems like more than enough. I guess these “celebrities” can’t stay in a loft banging each other forever though; they all have to get back to errr… uhhhh… what do they all do again?

One person that I do know is gainfully employed again (at least for an episode or two) is resident snooze-fest Josh Murray, who appeared in a promo for an upcoming episode of Bachelor in Paradise. Will Josh bring anything to the table there? Doubtful but hey, a guy’s gotta get paid, right? As for the rest of the cast, I guess they will just fade back into the complete obscurity from which they came. Oh, and Dr. Darcy Sterling has to go back to Vanderpump Rules to fulfill her obligations as Katie Maloney’s stunt double.

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Yeah, I don’t care how much Kelly Dodd annoys the bejesus out of me (and probably Tamra Judge‘s sculpted patootie), Shannon Beador set her up at her 70’s partaaay. Which was not necessarily OK. And it was, well, ugly. Honestly, I think most of us, the Real Housewives Of Orange County ladies included, are gonna pretend Shannon is innocent on the principal of their dislike for Kelly, but the double-teaming of Jaci and Nina, three boobs, and a bull dozer, are all too coincidental.

And you know what they say: If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck – it’s probably a Real Housewife training for a fitness competition and practicing in her lucite stripper heels! 

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Melissa Gorga opens Envy

Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of New Jersey featured the opening of Melissa Gorga‘s long-awaited Posche revenge, Envy. A boutique dedicated to the many-splendored stylings of Melissa’s own taste. Teresa Giudice also proved that her and Juicy’s love is as real as the prison cell that holds them!

Poison Gorga seems to be confused both about which century he’s living in and that his life is not a 1980’s movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. You guys, men with sprayed on muscles DO NOT take care of their own children – they are not babysitters! 

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Shahs of Sunset Season Finale recap

This season of Shahs of Sunset has run the gamut of ridiculous story lines, some of which we have seen play out at an excruciating slow pace. The dissolution of Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido’s marriage would be the first one that comes to mind. The breakdown of the friendship (again) between Reza Farahan and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi would be another. 

Meandering and predictable story lines aside (ahem, another business venture from the High Priestess of ADD, Asa Soltan Rahmati), we did see one relationship on the fast track: Mercedes “MJ” Javid and lovable lug Tommy Feight.

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