Recaps

Little Women: LA Recap: Baptism Blowout

Last night, Little Women: LA delved into some painful topics, namely Terra Jole getting frightening news that she may have breast cancer. Elena Gant also hosts a party after the baptism of her twin boys, at which Jasmine Sorge announces that she and her husband Chris, not Terra and Joe Gnoffo, were chosen as godparents to the little wee ones. Terra does NOT take the news well, to put it mildly. Meanwhile, Christy McGinity Gibel is busy navigating life with her overbearing mom and daughter as she prepares for Todd’s gastric sleeve surgery.

Tonya Banks – who’s still imagining that her activewear line is ready to launch – is out shopping for baptism clothes with Elena. When Elena reveals who she’s chosen as godparents, Tonya seems shocked. And caught in a bind, as she already spilled the beans to Terra that Elena was thinking of choosing her. Ruh-roh. Elena is adamant that Terra’s priorities aren’t straight enough to be a suitable godparent though, and that’s that. So – this should all go over swimmingly at Elena’s upcoming baptism party!

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Southern Charm Savannah - Season 1

Oh Lord. So basically Southern Charm Savannah is like Saved by the Bell: The New Class. Mr. Belding is the only common staple while the new kids are just caricatures of the original cast we’ve grown to love. In the case of these shows, a beautiful Southern backdrop is the common element while the new kids are a mish mash of our Charleston darlings. Nelson Lewis, with his European girlfriend and over-the-top elitism is basically Whitney-Sudler Smith with Cooper Ray’s one-liners. Ashley is Jenna from season one, back from the big city with a bit of an edge, while possessing the dinner party hosting skills of Thomas Ravenel. Lyle Mackenzie, Daniel Eicholz, and Louis Oswald are equal parts Shep Rose and Craig Conover, and Catherine Cooper wants to be Cameran Eubanks but she’s falling incredibly short.

Two years ago, a Savannah-raised law clerk at our firm spent lots of time name dropping Landon Clements and partying with Shep at Republic. He said Landon had enlisted him to help scout folks for a Savannah based spin-off that she was pitching to Bravo. Obviously, I didn’t believe him then and now I’m eating crow. That said, I’m hooked.

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shep-cameran

Talk about a double shot of Southern Charm! After Craig Conover acted like a straight-up asshat to his girlfriend Naomie Olindo, it seemed that the only solid couple on the show could be crumbling. Of course, use it Cameran Eubanks to swoop in with some love potion for her faint of heart co-stars. Shep Rose needs all the help he can get as he bid farewell to his latest slumber party guest. Why can’t girls just leave when he’s still sleeping? Why do some insist on sticking around…even suggesting lunch? The nerve! As he laments his love life, Shep takes a call from his doctor. His liver is inflamed and he may want to seriously think about cutting back on the alcohol–like completely. It’s a wake-up call for the eternal frat boy, for sure! Across town, Whitney Sudler-Smith is plotting with his mother Patricia Altschul to bring together Thomas Ravenel and Landon Clements. T-Rav has been feeling down and out about his player ways and needs a pick-me-up…preferably one with lady bits. Pat recalls a time when Landon approached her for life advice. Perhaps this is her calling? It sure beats internet dating!

Cameran is showing property to a very tardy Craig. He can’t seem to get anywhere on time. Craig finds one thing after another wrong with the potential investment property. Popcorn ceilings? Smaller bedrooms? Cameran tries to remind him that he’s going to be renting out this house, not living in it, but it’s not up to snuff for his portfolio. Um, that portfolio is empty, son! Cameran wonders how Naomie feels about this potential purchase, and Craig skirts the question. Cameran suspects that Craig is just telling Naomie what she wants to hear, but that is no way to build a relationship. Craig isn’t happy to learn that Naomie has spoken about their rifts to Cameran, and he admits that he will begin to resent her if he has to appease her at every turn. Laying the smack down, Cameran raises her voice. Does Craig understand how marriage works?

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rhop2

Last season on the Real Housewives of Potomac, etiquette ruled the day. This season, it seems like the streets do. What I mean is that everyone is getting their word from the streets and damn, the streets of Potomac sure are busy!

We ended last week’s episode with Gizelle Bryant being unceremoniously kicked out of Monique FOUR HOUSES Samuels’ one house in particular. While Gizelle was making her exit, the other ladies had gathered to support a just arrived and highly emotional Charrisse Jackson-Jordan, who was feeling less Cha Cha and more Wah Wah that evening. But never one to let a conversation happen without her, Monique stormed out to the driveway to see what’s really happening. No, not what everyone said was happening but what was REALLY happening because Mo does not tolerate BS. I’m pretty sure she assumed the talk was all about her and instead of letting it roll off her back, needed to start Round 2 with Gizelle because she launches into stating that she doesn’t have to prove anything to Gizelle, which directly translates into her having something to prove to Gizelle. Because if she didn’t have anything to prove, why would she need to rejoin the conversation? Did she need Gizelle out of her driveway that bad? A still unbothered Gizelle lets her know she is happy to leave and the rest of the ladies rejoin the lame ass party.

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Porsha

Hand me some smelling salts, cause I have the vapors after part 4 of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta! Well all knew it was coming, but somehow seeing Phaedra Parks expose herself as a bonafide liar and a fraud of the sort that even surpasses Housewives nastiness was still a shock! And I don’t even know what to call her, an emotionless vessel of shade that has reached its sell-by date, but that nonsense went TOO FAR! Actually it went beyond crossing the line into crossing the galaxy.

There we all are, sitting on the reunion stage in our sparkly dresses, with our hair all puffed up, and our smirks frozen into irritated condescension, our voices permanently poised at a register for battle and self-defense, when out Porsha Williams came out with the revelation Phaedra is the one who told her of Kandi Burruss‘ alleged plan to drug and rape her one fateful night. Phaedra related that she heard this information this directly from the Kandi Factory – more specifically from Kandi’s mouth.

Since this was no word on the street, Porsha decided it was believable, and “asked” Kandi about it in front of millions, then spent months defending herself against accusations that she’s a liar.

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Screen Shot 2017-05-04 at 8.39.52 PM-min

Last night was the series premiere of Second Wives Club, a show that is kind of like Housewives except the women are bonafide trophy wives who are barely old enough to drink. So far, I think the show is kinda fun.

The show opens with Shiva Safai, who we have all met before courtesy of Mohamed Hadid, accessory many a Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills drama, father of Gigi and Bella, and gifter of Lisa Vanderpump‘s swans. Oh, Mohamed was also married to Yolanda Foster, before she became Foster, although now she’s back to Hadid. But I am SO not here to talk about Yolanda. I have done that to Lymes and beyond.

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Reinventing How This Game Is Played

It’s getting tough out there on Survivor. With the Finale fast approaching (May 24…mark your calendars!), we find ourselves down to just 10 players left in the game heading into last night’s episode. It has been a season full of big moves, aggressive strategies, and the occasional blunder. “Game Changers,” Hali stated from the jury seats after tonight’s Tribal Council. “Idiots,” Deb countered. They may both be right.

But before we try to think of an 11-letter word to describe last night’s new episode, let me first warn you that there are spoilers to follow, as we will be discussing in detail the event’s that took place during last night’s episode of Survivor: Game Changers. And while we WILL hit on all of the important developments, remember that this is more of a discussion and analysis and not a blow-by-blow account of how the episode played out.

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Carole.Radziwill.Head.Tilt.Blacksheertop.RHONY

Raise your hand if you are still reeling from Dorinda Medley’s version of Festivus last week? (I’m raising both, as if arrested. For indecent TV watching while under the influence of Diet Coke.) Well, apparently we can forget all of that! For we’re poised to move on as fast these women do when air-kissing after slut-shaming, because it’s the moment we’ve all lived through already been waiting for: Carole Radziwill’s election party!

Get ready to take five cleansing breaths, friends, because this week The Real Housewives Of New York takes us through the moments leading up to election day right through its aftermath: otherwise known as Ramona Singer’s surprise 60th birthday party. Which she nearly screws up by double booking another date during said party. (And who – by the way – shows up at her party later, only to be summarily shunned!) With all of the drama surrounding these two heady events, Sonja Morgan’s love life nearly gets lost in the shuffle. <single tear> She’s created a love triangle of sorts because she is the eternal ‘it girl,’ dontchaknow? THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! #TinsleyGoals

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