Recaps

southern charm shep whitney craig

When it comes to being a good friend, Whitney Sudler-Smith didn’t raise the bar very high for himself when he and Shepard “Shep” Rose went with Craig Conover to visit his family on last night’s Southern Charm. Speaking of bars, Craig’s pals are concerned that he’s spending so much time frequenting them, he’s going to have a tough time passing the one that is most important. Sadly, if Craig did sit for the February bar, he didn’t pass, as results were posted on Friday. It breaks does break my heart for him because the test is so subjective–I have no clue how I passed the first go round, and I have no clue how some of the smartest folks I know had to take it multiple times. UPDATE: Craig didn’t take the February bar, tweeting earlier, “Just so everyone knows — I did not take my Bar Exam in February — I’m excited to announce that I finally get the chance to take it in July!” Good luck to him this summer! Last night’s episode begins with Extreme Akim doling out some tough love as he bids his former employee adieu. Craig is embarrassed that his mentor, who once had such high hopes for him, believes he needs to reign in his behavior. 

Landon Clement is facing the fact that she no longer has the safety net of her ex-husband’s income. She has a plan to sell “a lifestyle,” but she’s going to start with a test run pop-up shop in a local home. Her vision is that everything in the house is handpicked from local merchants and is for sale–from the artwork on the walls, the designer clothes in the closets, and the vintage cars in the garage. Shep reminds Landon that she can’t focus too much on work, and she assures him that she’s going to make time to socialize. In fact, she’s planning to invite the crew to Jekyll Island the following weekend. Despite their recent rough patch, she wants to include Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis as well. Shep looks like he wants to pat Landon on the head and whisper, “oh sweetie, no,” as I would envision Patricia would do, poo-pooing the footman’s vermouth pour. He thinks Landon is naive when it comes to T-Rav and Kathryn’s relationship. Shep believes the duo needs to cut their losses, go their separate ways, and amicably co-parent baby Kensington. In other words, they don’t need to drag down the fun quotient on any upcoming mini-vacays. 

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lhhatl erica dee

If you don’t owe child support on this season’s episode of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, chances are, you’re toying with the idea of opening a boutique. I’m really going to need these folks to step up their game! On last night’s episode, Erica Dixon is at her wit’s end with Lil’ Scrappy continuing to ignore his child support obligations. She estimates he’s behind close to $50,000, so she’s meeting with her attorney to see what her options are to get him to pay. Her lawyer advises her to petition the court to have him held in contempt. While she’s the last person who wants to see her former love behind bars–yet again–she’s doesn’t feel like she has any other options.

Thankfully, Yung Joc fancies himself a great father…and he’s not too bad at keeping his several baby mamas happy as well. Sina stops by the studio with some pound cake in hopes of wooing him back from the woman who he cheated on her with when she was pregnant with his twins…but don’t confuse his current girlfriend Khadiyah with the other woman also pregnant with another set of his twins when Sina was expecting. Khadiyah hasn’t added any baby’s to Joc’s growing football team yet, but she does like to pay for his studio time. She also pops in to see if he’s using her money wisely. Khadiyah isn’t used to taking the high road with Sina, but she’s trying, saying she has respect for his children’s mother(s). Sina wonders if Joc has shared with Khadiyah that they are still smashing (smashing, smashing…I love that Joc thought the word echoed throughout the studio!). Surprisingly, Khadiyah stays scarily calm, and Sina looses her cool to the point that Joc has to physically remove her from the building.

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rhoa reunion nene is not impressed

This is the story all about how, Real Housewives Of Atlanta got turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute – just sit right there – to tell you how I became the princess of an African who isn’t really there.

In Hotlanta born and raised, married to money, living in debt was where I spent most of my days. Fillin’ out maxin out AmEx all cool and starting gossip outside The Bailey School. When  a couple of unmarrieds who were up to no good started making trouble in my Housewives hood. I got in one little affair with an African, the bitches got loud and said I’m stealing your crown. 

I yelled and threatened day after day, to drag her MISS- WHO-S-A title down in shame. So I packed my Firkin and sent us all on plane. Buzzin’ on moscato and throwing’ out shade, I snapped a pic on my iPhone, and said, “I might as well tweet it, but the friendships still fake.’ 

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In last night’s episode of Little Women: N.Y., the ladies (and Jason Perez) travel to the Catskill Mountains for ski trip at the behest of Kristin Zettlemoyer. Lila Call struggles with her sobriety, while Jazmin Lang and Dawn Lang take advantage of the close quarters on the trip to completely trip out on each other.

We start the show with Jordanna James visiting Misty Irwin to hear her big news: Misty is going to walk in a fashion show in a $100 bill skirt and crop top. Jordanna confesses that she’s going to be walking in the same show and Misty’s not happy about her thunder just being stolen. Misty’s all “well, if you wanna do it then do it.” But she looks like she’s going to punch Jordanna in the face while she’s saying it. Meanwhile, Dawn is taking Lila to the gym to get her into healthier activities now that Lila has recommitted to her sobriety. Lila apologizes for basically calling Dawn an alcoholic too (at Lila’s recent intervention), but Dawn’s a$$ is still chafing at the accusation. Dawn pledges not to drink around Lila to support her recovery, though she calls out Jazmin for not speaking up during the intervention as much as she should have. Lila sees Dawn’s shady motives in throwing Jazmin under the bus, but leaves it alone for now. 

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dance moms nia video

I know I sound like a broken record season after season after season (or is it all just one neverending season?), but could this be the longest ever season of Dance Moms? After the great video showdown of 2015, the ALDC has returned to Pittsburgh after a victorious stint in Los Angeles. Abby Lee Miller is true to form with her nastiness and self-pity, but of course her bad behavior is magnified thanks to Lifetime adding Cathy’s Candy Apples into the mix. The moms are (surprisingly!) getting along, and while they don’t love the cold weather, they are happy to be home…for a week at least. Melissa wonders if it could be their last Pittsburgh pyramid. She seems to think that when Abby heads back to L.A. next week (we deserve frequent flier miles just for watching!), it will be for good.

Not only is there a competition this week, there is also a dance convention where the dancers could win scholarships. The moms inform their girls that not only will the Candy Apples be trying to beat them, but Ava and her mom Jeanette will be at the competition as well. Poor Kendall says what her teammates are thinking…it’s never a fun competition week with Abby when Cathy is involved. At pyramid, Abby gushes over Maddie’s Grammy’s performance (as she should, it was amazing), saying she got more applause than Madonna. Does she really want to get on Madge’s bad side? Maddie also dishes on behind the scenes of the awards show, and Holly feels the need to interrupt to proclaim that Nia will be having a premier party for her video at the dance convention thanks to her recent video? Really, Holly? Why? I try to defend you, but you’re not making it easy! Even Nia looks like she wants her mother to stop her one-upping. Holly extends an invitation to the studio, but Melissa can’t make it because she has dinner plans. Joke’s on you, Melissa–it’s a daytime event.  

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RHONY Recap  Bethenny Frankel Doesn't Care

Someone at the Real Housewives Of New York emporium got a little too liberal with the Sex And The City DVDs this season. I’ve been missing my vintage Carrie Bradshaw as much as the next former 20-something girl of a certain millennium, but do we really need to re-live her life starring Carole Radziwill in My So-Called Reality Show? (Another gem of my generation). 

While Carole is busy cosplaying Carrie, the other girls are busy being Housewives and starting high velocity fights over wrangled pretenses and loose indignations. Carole is riding bikes in heels around NYC, dating a boy who doesn’t wanna grow up, experimenting with drugs, getting munchies for KFC, losing her virginity <insert emoji here>, and rocking those Jordache jeans she saved all her babysitting money to buy. Life is good when mercury is in retrograde. 

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Kim Richards Sits-Down With Dr. Phil To Talk Alcoholism & Arrest

Dr. Phil sat down with Kim Richards to discuss her long history with drug and alcohol abuse, her defensive, deflective behaviors, her relationship with Kyle Richards, and whether or not Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is a healthy environment for her. True to form, Kim blamed everyone else for her arrest and issues – the Beverly Hills hotel for calling the cops, twitter, RHOBH viewers, her co-stars, blogs. 

First of all, Kim sounds … off in the beginning; slurry and inarticulate with a glazed expression in her eyes as if she’s reciting from a teleprompter. I don’t think she was – I think it was rehearsed and she was desperate to stay “on message” of denial. 

In classic Kim fashion, she was hours late for her sit-down with Dr. Phil leaving him waiting for the interview to start while she fussed over her appearance. Kim denies procrastinating and insists she was ready the whole time, apologizes insincerely. More classic Kim. Dr. Phil is prepared for Kim’s “controlling” behaviors and calls her out throughout the entire segment. 

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southern charm whitney landon

I hate Mondays, y’all. Or rather, I hate Mondays until I get my Southern Charm fix! Nothing is more hilariously rich than Ms. Pat using the phrase “bitch slapping,” am I right? As the recaps for this bourbon and bow-tied deliciousness are a tad verbose for my liking, let’s get to the meat (medium rare dry-aged rib eye from Hall’s, naturally) without the pleasantries of an introduction, shall we? 

After a big night out for Shepstradamus’ birthday, Kathryn Dennis is recovering on Jennifer Snowden’s sofa having gotten into a fight with tequila and losing to Jose Cuervo. Jennifer attempts to cure her friend’s hangover with “rich people water,” listening to Kathryn lament about her current situation with Thomas Ravenel. Kathryn doesn’t care if T-Rav is mad that she spent the night away from Kensington, she’s just so exhausted from trying to make things work. Kathryn thought they were a team, but Sandy Duncan is hellbent on causing a rift between the couple with her campaign planning mojo. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose calls Landon Clements as he struggles to iron his shirt on the corner of his bedside table. He’s getting ready to show his mother the progress on his house, and he needs to look presentable. Who was as surprised as I was to learn that Shep owns an iron? And who found it as adorable as I did when he joked he was holding out for the right ironing board? Season 2 Shep is head and broad shirtless shoulders above his season 1 counterpart! Mama Shep is everything you’d expect her to be, and she’s a bit concerned about his transitional neighborhood. Reminding us that he’s still a bit of a douche, Shep points out a neighbor’s Audi that he promises isn’t stolen. Mama Shep has already bought the home’s furnishings (she still dresses him for goodness sake!), and she urges him to get an oven, if not for soup then at least for resale value. Now that Shep has a house, she’s ready for him to lock down a spouse. Shep admits that he has an upcoming date…that’s a start!

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