Recaps

Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant Recap –

MTV is keeping with its commitment to prove to you that your life choices could have been worse, much much worse. So that means we get yet another pregnancy show focused on young people. This time around they are combining 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom by showing numerous young people’s stories and showing what happens after the babies get here. We also get a couple of 20 year old’s which does help bring a couple of the stories out of the high school setting. In addition, moving between multiple storylines provides a lot of drama and activity to follow – so let’s meet the couples of Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant!

Survivor: Ghost Island Episode 3 Recap: The Ugly Baby

You’ve got to love the bluntness of Survivor: Ghost Island contestant Kellyn Bechtold. During tonight’s episode, which featured a surprise tribe swap, she compared seeing her new terrible camp to how it feels when you visit someone’s baby who is just plain ugly…despite the mother going on and on about how it’s their pride and joy, all you are thinking is, man, that’s one ugly baby.

And while her honesty was on full display during that interview segment, this after all, is Survivor. Honesty is not necessarily a virtue out there in the game, and tonight’s episode featured very little of it as the remaining 18 players jockeyed for position after seeing their tribes switched up.

As I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 3 of Survivor: Ghost Island, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Bound And Gagged

On last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills people were celebrating all sorts of things and this required lingerie shopping, candles that looked like cupcakes, and wearing giant garbage bags to take naps in. The biggest news, however, was that based upon the strength of her perfect gift-giving, Lisa Vanderpump chose a new court favorite. Teddi Bear Mellencamp Arroyave – you have arrived! Elevated to the premiere spot as Lisa’s mean girl in waiting. Meanwhile it was off with Dorit Kemsley‘s head! Or at least one of her ridiculous hairstyles.

Somehow I think Teddi will learn from Kyle Richards and Dorit, and won’t make the mistake of double-crossing Lisa… Doing all she can to stay in good graces. After all, Teddi is all about accountability and we finally got a glimpse of what that entails. Essentially Teddi is a diet and exercise baby-sitter. Rich people will buy anything!

Tom & Tom

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, the Toms demonstrated that age is just a number and even when you’re 35, you can still pretend to be 21 with no responsibilities. I guess when you have stunted bartender jobolescence, growing up is hard to do! Even if you have “buishischeness deschisions” to make!

SUR is back in action with a facelift, because Lisa Vanderpump turns raging fires into restaurant redesign, and everything winds up looking a little fresher and sparklier. The new chandelier at SUR has the added benefit of making everyone look younger. Tom and Jax look positively like their first season selves. Too bad all Hollywood ‘facelifts’ don’t turn out so well! This is all a prequel to Tom Tom, which the Toms will get a larger taste of during their ‘work trip’ to Vegas.

Lisa will show Tom 1 and Tom 2 “a day in the life of the Vanderpump regime.” Which is more than just design elements, but showing them what running an actual business looks like. A business which has nothing to do with pretend statement necklace collection, or ‘online beauty blogs’ that get updated once every 3 months. Or at least that’s her plan… 

Sister Wives Recap:

It wouldn’t be Sister Wives if the Brown family wasn’t getting together for a random dinner. Meri is hosting the family for a St. Patrick’s Day dinner, and Mariah is over the moon in her relationship with Audrey. Meri thinks Mariah’s girlfriend is a perfect fit in the family, and she’s glad her situation with her daughter is improving. The older kids all get along so well, and Maddie is about to pop at seven months pregnant. Janelle is trying to wrap her head around the fact that she’s going to be a grandmother. Kody snarks about the dinner spread, but someone wearing that denim monstrosity shouldn’t be so judgmental. He enlists Caleb to do the blessing because he thinks his son-in-law speaks from the heart even though he doesn’t believe in polygamy. Christine and Kody both admit to being close minded earlier in their lives, but they are now more welcoming to different view points. Mykelti and Tony arrive, and Tony just beat the hell out of Kody in the worst dressed awards. I can’t believe I went to watching the Oscar red carpet to the cul-de-sac fashion roundup!

Christine teases Audrey about her culinary skills as Meri unveils the dessert. It’s a store bought cake with a leprechaun and a rainbow. Meri jokes that the rainbow isn’t for the holiday but for her recently out daughter. Audrey rewards her with a high five, and Christine plans to needlepoint Audrey a rainbow pillow with the phrase, “It’s not about being Irish, it’s about being gay.” She needs to be selling those bad boys in My Sister Wife’s Closet. The parents discuss that the younger kids aren’t aware that Audrey is Mariah’s girlfriend, but the ones who do are very accepting. Robyn has told King Solomon, but he didn’t have much of an opinion since he’s four.

Survivor: Ghost Island Episode 1 and 2 Recap: Reverse The Curse

It’s a season that already feels like it will be full of big moves and important split-second decisions, but only one of the 20 contestants on Survivor: Ghost Island will truly be able to “reverse the curse.” Yes, Season 36 (I will forever put “!!!” after the current season, as I continue to marvel at this show’s longevity and strong fan base) is here and we are suddenly two episodes in! Well, it was billed a “two-hour” Premiere but it was technically the first two episodes back-to-back, so don’t be confused when next week’s Recap is of “Episode 3.” The details on what exactly is up with “Ghost Island” was finally revealed, and we got to know most of the 20 new players vying for the title of Sole Survivor this season. There is so much to cover, so let’s get to it!

As I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 1 and 2 of Survivor: Ghost Island, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

Kyle Richards

Sigh. Does no one understand Kyle Richards? It is so hard to be Kyle Richards. She is the most loyalist, kindest, most sincerest, genuinest, funnest, friendest friend on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills but no one appreciates her. Especially not Lisa Vanderpump, who quite literally could hand Kyle her heart on a silver platter and Kyle would insist Lisa was lying while actually giving her a dog turd. OK maaaaaaybe that’s a bit dramatic, because LVP can also be frigid and oblique, but last night she really did, in her own way, hand Kyle her heart. Let’s see what Kyle does with it!

The ladies are still in NYC and Kyle continues to terrorize with her meltdowns. These people already have Kanye West and his fashions – don’t do this to him! On the way to the Malaaaaan Bretaaaawn show where Camille Grammer‘s daughter Mason is playing model for the day, no one spoke in the car. NO ONE. Even Lisa Rinna‘s mindless chatter couldn’t open the floodgates of argument.

Scheana Marie

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was a matter of love and death. In the complete and utter trainwreck that is watching Scheana Marie transcend from Stage Five Clinger to total stalker and future subject of Snapped (or her own Lifetime Movie Of The Week). Jax Taylor was literally drowning (*well kinda) but Scheana was drowning in her own delusion and Rob Valetta is not about to be dragged under with her.

Thankfully Rob can swim perfectly, and amazingly, and better than anyone in the whole wide word even Michael Phelps, and he can also save people with his boogey board of life! Just ask Jax!

There was so much relationship dysfunction last night that the thought of looking through a Choose Your Own Designer Vagina catalog seems like the lesser of evils. Yes, that is a thing, but you have to be willing to travel to Thailand to get it installed… Do they make any that are STD resistant?