Recaps

Southern Charm Recap: Pulp Fiction

Our lovely recapper, Lauren, is temporarily unavailable, so I’ll be your pinch hitter this week for Southern Charm – or as it’s come to be known in some circles: Men In White Pants Behaving Badly. This season seems like it’s all about turning the tables on the good ole’ boys club, what with Naomie Olindo facing off with JD Madison, and Kathryn Dennis finally getting her very own #GirlSquad. While some of the “boys” are learning their lessons – or hiring their Uber driver as a life coach – others are shacking up with perpetually DEHYDRATED people like Ashley Jacobs.

We begin at Craig Conover’s home, where he’s calling up a life coach he found on the Google Machine. He’s ready to stop eating chicken fingers for breakfast (wtf was that on his counter!?) and get his newly coached arse in gear. Cameran Eubanks is getting ready for her baby girl by shopping with her mom – and accusing her of dropping her on her head when she was a baby. Um. Well, it all worked out in the end, so no worries.

Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Tea For Tat

All the chickens come home to roost this week on The Real Housewives Of New York. Well, maybe not all the chickens. Just Scott and Missy, actually. But the random exes of yesteryear still manage to cause a kerfuffle – especially Missy, who may or may not have been the last straw for Luann de Lesseps, who despite appearances, is likely hanging on by a very thin thread. Lest we forget, we are heading straight into Palm Beach territory very soon. So Missy’s appearance at Ramona Singer’s shopping party looms ominous.

Since Dorinda Medley’s beatdown of Sonja Morgan in the Hamptons, Sonja has turned on Ramona Singer – P.O.S., esq. – for not adequately defending her honor. Sonja wants to make it known that she never cheated on her ex-husband in the South of France or anywhere else for that matter! Hmmph. Ramona seems to know better, but can’t handle one more trillionth trip down dementia lane, so she just screams in Sonja’s face instead. Does it work? Not really. But is it the makings of a new fantastic GIF? Absolutely. These to nutcases are made for moments like this.

Survivor: Ghost Island Episode 11 Recap: Double Trouble

There was two-times the fun on this week’s episode of Survivor, when we got to witness two Immunity Necklaces, two Tribal Councils, and even a contestant who got to cast two votes. This wasn’t the usual late-season case of “let’s-mash-two-tribal-councils-into-one-episode-because-the-votes-are-so-predictable.” Instead, it was a pretty cool game twist that added new, exciting and complex layers to a game that already has several of them.

But before we dive in, as I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 11 of Survivor: Ghost Island, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!

Lisa Vanderpump & Dorit Kemsley

Is there a reason the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion is three parts? A good portion of last night was more footage of the ladies doing lunch, albeit backstage where they continued talking about each other’s low-level dramas.

As much as I enjoy watching Lisa Vanderpump sitting around in her bathroom eating salad while counseling Dorit Kemsley through perceived slights against Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave, it’s evident that this was filler so Bravo could bilk another episode out of the rather lackluster reunion. I’m in the minority, apparently, in not minding that the drama was mostly surface and petty – it’s a nice breather from such heavy seasons about substance abuse and serious family dysfunction (I mean I love that too), but I certainly think they could’ve gotten away with a two-part reunion. 

Teen Mom: Young And Pregnant Recap – Leaving The Nest

Last week I was off having fun (the kind that doesn’t include TV). I did watch last episode of Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant and we got our fifth and final baby: Izaiah (these girls really like to use a lot of vowels when naming their kids). Brianna and Danae had (another) fight and Danae is no longer welcome at her mom’s house. We got to talk about two engagements and one actually happened. And Kyler got a job. This week we are back to having the kind of fun that does include watching TV (and plenty of head shaking and eye rolling) so let’s dive back in!

Stassi Schroeder

After a long, protracted, repetitive, and drawn-out season, Vanderpump Rules ended where it always does – in the beginning, with a tale of woe of Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder; two ships crossing in the night during a tsunami. Jax and Stassi didn’t have drama together (although Jax was gobsmacked by seeing Patrick in the flesh), but the epicenter of this show has always been Jax and Stassi.

Honestly it should because they’re both tragicomic heroes. Two people so miscalculating in their own effects, yet squandering so much potential that it almost makes me feel bad for them. All the characters on this show are like that to a degree, but none so poignantly as Jax or Stassi, one, a star-crossed failure, and the other a star-crossed hater who idealizes murder because she can’t confront her own painful insecurities.

Southern Charm New Orleans Recap:

Southern Charm New Orleans is already far and away more entertaining than its Savannah counterpart. It’s got meltdowns, it’s got marriage drama, it’s got second line…and it’s got hella abs and very attractive, albeit messy, people. Isn’t that the recipe for great reality television? Last night’s episode is no exception. Jon Moody’s painting party is being blown to bits by Tamica Lee and Reagan Charleston. Justin Reese is thrilled he isn’t a husband yet. Tamica is screaming at Jon, Reagan is screaming at Jeff Charleston and Jeff is trying to defend the party in its purest form. It was just for painting! Tamica ushers out husband Barry Smith who calmly tells her she is behaving irrationally. She insists her beef isn’t with him, it’s with the host and asks how he would feel if the tables were turned. I’m guessing he wouldn’t mind if his wife was at a party where he wasn’t in attendance, but he keeps his mouth shut because he’s clearly not stupid…unlike the Charlestons.

The drunk duo is trading slurred insults. Reagan is pissed that Jeff never answered her calls, but he swears he didn’t have any missed calls to her because of poor service. Check his call log for Pete’s sake! Realizing he’d left his phone and his jacket at Jon’s the pair turns around to retrieve it. Reagan swears she’s simply concerned because her husband never drinks this much, and she worries he’s been hit too many time in the head due to his stint in the NFL. She also warns him not to get the wet paint from his attempt at nudes all over his nice jacket. What a stupid painting. The Picasso of NoLa is insulted. He’s hanging the masterpiece in their bedroom. As if! Reagan slams the painting into her husband, coating his jacket. She whines a nasally apology while promising to clean it. Jeff counters that she’s never cleaned anything in her life, and I believe him. He’ll be the one cleaning his jacket. She works and puts him down, and it’s sad. He screams that he isn’t the wounded concussion bird that she wants him to be. He’s just upset because his wife is being a giant beatch.

Sheree Whitfield

Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta celebrated their 10 year anniversary by counting down their top ten moments. I cannot believe that I’ve had NeNe Leakes in my life longer than I’ve had my children in my life, but the Bravo universe is vast and all-encompassing!

I was expecting the Real Housewives themselves to weigh in on all the past drama and spill some behind-the-scenes secrets,  similar to when other cities have done an anniversary. I was also expecting to get catch-ups from retired cast members like DeShawn Snow or Kim Fields, but instead we were just handed a ton of flashback footage to reminisce over. There were weddings, breakdowns (often those two things combined), walk-offs, shade wars, and vintage footage of Wigs with her Cigs.