Tonight marks the season 7 premiere of Bravo’s wealthiest and most over-the-top Housewives, and I could not be more excited. Especially after the dark, dreary, and twisted turn last season took, courtesy of one lady, and her lemons, her Lymes, and her lack of love!
To prepare for what’s to come let’s revisit all the highs and lows from season 6!
Is there anything more confusing than a woman who is not only willing to have sex with James Kennedy, but do the sex in essentially a cot in the corner of his dorm room? Oh yes, there IS something more confusing – that this woman is willing to admit this sex on national television! The bright lights of LVP‘s sparkles reflected by Bravo cameras can cause a girl to lose her mind!
TLC is clearly following around Kody Brown and his wives twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week given how much footage the network seems to have on the family. As you know, there were two episodes of Sister Wives last night, y’all! As Kody infamously says in the opener, “Episodes love should be multiplied, not divided.” Sheesh.
The first episode begins as Janelle is planning a bridal shower for Madison, and she’s struggling with how much to include her fellow sister wives in the process. Poor Janelle isn’t the best when it comes to party planning (don’t believe me? Go re-watch last season’s Thanksgiving debacle with Meri!), and she doesn’t want to get railroaded by her fellow wives who love a good themed event. Janelle is meeting with the planner, and she’s adamant about not letting the guests bring any lingerie. It’s so tacky! The party planner vetoes Janelle’s request to put “No Lingerie” or “Only Classy Gifts” on the invitation. She also jokes about surprising Maddie with some male strippers.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta blew things up – pun intended! – from imploding relationships, to actual bomb threats, and in between, a political message.
Phaedra Parks is headed to the DNC, accompanied by Porsha Williams. Porsha explains that politics is in her blood because her grandfather was legendary civil rights leader Hosea Williams. Are we sure they’re related? I mean, Porsha thought the underground railroad was Atlanta’s mysterious subway which transported people to a safe-haven called The Mall Of America.
This week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy is ripe with all kinds of change in the air. Kim Zolciak Biermann and Kroy Biermann are anxiously waiting to hear where Kroy will end up playing and the whole family is a tad on edge with the unknown. The only solution seems to be to throw money at the problem, which sounds about right.
Despite the stress going on around her, Tracey is cool as a cucumber, thanks to a new online relationship with a gal named Lexi. She met her on Instagram and apparently, knows almost nothing about her, even though they have been talking for a month and a half. Lexi lives in New York and Tracey has yet to join the year 2016 FaceTime her. Brielle Biermann expertly points out that Tracey is “SO old” and decides to move this relationship along with a FaceTime call. One fun fact Tracey forgot to ask in her relationship is how old Lexi is (25) and both Brielle and Tracey are shocked by this news but recover quickly enough to invite Lexi to Atlanta to see this sh*t show first hand spend some much needed time together.
Coming on the heels of last week’s tremendously awesome double-episode that ended in a emotional rock draw, it would be asking a lot of Survivor to give us an episode with the same level of intensity the very next week. Well, it sure did its damnedest. This season continues to bring the heat, as every single one of the remaining players has clearly come to play. Now, nobody said come to play “good,” as mistakes and poor strategic game-play has driven much of the drama these past few episodes. But it was once again riveting. Survivor shows no signs of stopping as it barrels its way towards the finale in a couple weeks.
Last night’s episode was the famed “loved ones” episode, which is a milestone for most contestants playing the game to make it to this point. Let’s dive in, trying not to get stuck in the sand. The recap is forthcoming, following your normal “turn back, this is your last spoiler warning” warning.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
Welcome back, Ladies Of London! Oh, how I’ve missed the Carolines – the castles – the sheer upper crustiness of it all!! I have been a massive fan of this sleeper hit since season one, so it’s like an early Christmas present knowing that season three is finally upon us. And if last night’s premiere episode is any indication of what’s to come, it seems we might be in for a delightfully dramatic ride! (But please, Bravo, can we maybe just stop now with those cheesy singing promos? What was THAT all about anyway?!)
Last night’s Below Deck was all about frustration. Kate Chastain resurrects the Resting B*tch Face to combat her frustration over the shoddy work – and attitude – she’s perceiving from Sierra Storm and Emily Warburton-Adam. Meanwhile, Kelley Johnson does his best to quiet his ego as he adjusts to life with Nico Scholly’s new senior deckhand status. As opposed to Nico’s freshman deckhand behavior lately – which now includes blaming Kate for all of his self-inflicted problems aboard Valor! Lauren Burchnell is, of course, all too happy to blame Kate too. She’s #TeamNico, whether it makes sense or not. Sigh. I had such high hopes for Lauren early in the season. What happened to this girl in six short weeks?
We begin with Kate and Kelley bemoaning their separate fates. But Ben Robinson and Emily are celebrating theirs! After preserving Emily’s funeral bouquet for as long as humanly possible, Ben finally scored an adult sleepover ashore. From which he emerged giddier than ever. Kyle Dixon is also breathing a sigh of relief after his girlfriend Ashley took his sketchy Sierra news pretty well. Kyle better get it together for that patient girl because she is standing by his excuse-making arse even though he doesn’t deserve it. #TeamAshley