Have we decided who is collectively more miserable? Is it the veteran Dance Moms or the mini mother planning their tiny coup? Perhaps we just call it even and declare Abby Lee Miller the nastiest participant in this crazy reality show? Anyone? Over/under? Perhaps the truest evil genius is Lifetime for continuing to subject us to these super-sized episodes.
Jill is now more focused on Kendall’s music as that’s what making waves for her daughter’s teammate Nia Frazier. She feigns excitement for JoJo Siwa’s latest music video, reminding Kendall that her album is what is most important. Jill has gone so far as to dissolve Abby’s role as Kendall’s manager, and she is bracing for Abby’s wrath as a result of that decision. Before pyramid, Jill warns the other mothers that Abby may be in rare form due to her lawyer’s letter to Abby firing her. This should be fun.
Oh no! New deckhand Kyle Dixon has only been aboard Valor for mere days and already he’s popping his shoulder out of joint trying to do a good job! Thank goodness Lauren Burchnell was on the scene last night to wedge that baby right back in there. She’s kicking arse and taking names this season, for sure. But there’s not much Lauren can do when the charter guests get stuck out on a coral reef, fearing for their lives after a bit of drunk swimming.
Captain Lee Rosbach is not so thrilled with first time bosun Kelley Johnson’s performance, especially when it comes to window cleaning – or, more to the point, Kelley’s attitude about being called out about it. Meanwhile, chef Ben Robinson was catapulted into an alternate reality on Below Deck this week when chief stew Kate Chastain brought girlfriend Ro aboard for a visit, leaving Ben to wonder – what’s this chick got that I did not have?!? Poor Ben. Poor Ben’s ego. Sigh.
I honestly don’t know where to begin with last night’s trip to Ireland, except that I’m incredibly disappointed that there were no cameras rolling to see Heather Dubrow get kicked out of a bathroom, Kim Richards-style, in a high-class department store, then escorted out the door for being one of those raucous Americans. You just know that was the very most earth-shatteringly distressing moment of Heather’s life.
Siggy Flicker may be Real Housewives Of New Jersey‘s resident (self-appointed) relationship expert, but I’m questioning her sanity and her advice. I mean for all this tawk about soldiers, she’s sure turned into one of Jacqueline Laurita‘s right quick! Jacqueline’s bite is just as scary as her bark, so I get it.
As Dolores Catania warns, Siggy better stop throwing salami and provolone into the pen because when she runs out the Jacqocerous is going to get very angry and chomp her hand.
Honestly, Dolores is far more capable as a relationship expert when it comes to the chaos of Jersey than Siggy.
On this season of 90 Day Fiance, it’s come down to this: Who can save themselves, and who cannot. Whereas in seasons past, we’ve seen a pretty balanced mix of true love stories (remember Amy and Danny?) and totally deranged psychopaths trapping young wives into servitude (hello, Mark and Nikki!), this season seems to be offering up one big ole’ sloppy mess of singles who travel the globe with the express purpose of making bad decisions.
Case in point: Nicole and Azan, who are still in Morocco “getting to know” one another. This week, this task involves camels. And physical exertion. Two things Nicole is decidedly not a fan of!
Before we get to recapping last night’s episode, it’s worth mentioning that 90 DF spoilers have been popping up all over the place this week about who makes it down the aisle and who calls it quits. Like all spoilers, they aren’t 100% accurate, as they’re mostly based on social media posts and viewer conjecture. However, if they are even partially true, some of these people actually come to their senses and get out of their doomed engagements. Maybe all hope is not lost for these confused souls!
Little Women: Atlanta is in full wedding mode, thanks to Monie Cashette’s recent engagement. But if you have ever planned a wedding (or watched this show), you know that big events mean even bigger drama and this wedding is going to be no exception. Friendships are shifting faster than I can keep up with but in an effort to keep you all in the loop, I’m going to try my best!
The day that Monie has been waiting for arrives. No, not the wedding itself but wedding dress shopping! She brings Bri Barlup and Ms. Juicy along to help her pick something out while bragging about going to the best wedding dress boutique in Atlanta. When they arrive, they are given pencils and paper and have to walk around the store, writing down which dresses they like… isn’t that how it works at IKEA? I’m not impressed so far.
On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, the Biermanns are packing up and heading west. It’s time for a vacation from the day to day stresses of… ummmm… let me see… what are the stresses these people face on the daily? Caring for a new puppy and managing a busy Snapchat account? I can’t think of anything else so let’s just roll with that.
Since the trip to Montana is technically a trip home for Kroy Biermann, it will give him the opportunity to show his kids where he is from and also ask one of his close friends to be the executor of their estate and guardian of their kids if something should happen to them. Kim Zolciak Biermann’s stroke hasn’t just given her a new perspective on day to day life, it’s also made her realize their will is out of date and they can’t rely on either of their families when it comes to taking care of their brood.
Last night on Little Women: LA, Terra Jole faced some frightening complications during the C-section birth of her second child (thank goodness we know all is okay, real time!). It didn’t help matters that charming hubby Joe Gnoffo suspiciously scheduled himself to be “out of the country” just days before the blessed event – something Terra was none too happy about.
Also, Jasmine Sorge has apparently gone through deep counseling to get over her very serious issue of not being a dog-person, because she’s back on the scene this week looking smug as ever as Christy McGinity all but BEGS her to be allowed back into the friend group. I’m sorry, but Jasmine being the gatekeeper of who’s “in” and who’s “out” among these ladies is just laughable. Not to mention, it’s totally the position Jasmine has been vying for since she first appeared on the scene. I half expected her to rise up from the cafe chair after her conversation with Christy, shouting maniacally, “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!” – Highlander style. This chick is slithery.