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Season three of Duck Dynasty with the Robertson family is turning out to be everything I'd hoped for and more.  We're treated to an endless supply of Si's one-liners, and Jase is still doing everything in his power to get under brother Willie's skin.  After all of these years, Phil is still hot for Kay, and there is no question as to how much love this family shares.  Wednesday nights are great.

Last night's first episode begins with the boys comparing their beards in the warehouse.  Who has the longest beard?  Who has the thickest beard?  Don't know?  Let's ask Si who has an arsenal of beard jokes which reference 60 Minutes, Dora the Explorer, and Chewbacca.  Si rules.  Willie is going out of town for the day, and he needs his boys to make sure that business continues as usual.  All Willie asks of Jase is that he signs for a package at 4 o' clock.  We'll see how this goes!

At Phil and Miss Kay's, their grandson and his friend come by, but they are unaware that Phil has plans to teach them them the ways of the world.  The boys are clueless as Phil whistles his words of wisdom.  Meanwhile, in the warehouse, the guys are debating their favorite duck blinds to hunt.  Si chuckles about Willie's absence, and Jase is happy to appease whatever dare his uncle is introducing.  The men pile into Jase's truck and head out into the woods.  The guys are in the wilderness debating wrestling lore.  I adore the fact that Si travels with his own gallon of tea.  Si spots a black cat cross the blind, and Jase finds it hilarious that most people think that black cats are bad luck.  Si claims it's a panther.  Wait, did the guys lock themselves out of the truck?

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My new favorite reality family has quickly become the Kardashian Stanley Sisters. Gypsy Sisters has quickly found a special place in my heart and I can’t put my finger on whether it’s their general lack of a filter that makes them seem authentic and genuine or whether it’s because the strange and alluring life of a Gypsy that I have a general lack of knowledge on or maybe it’s because I have finally found a family that appears even more crazy and irrational than mine! Either way, these girls entertain the hell out of me with their hilarious one liners, over the top rituals and crazy parties! Move over Kevin Lee, Gypsy party planners are taking over!

So we start with a flash back to a miserable Mellie Stanley on her wedding day, falling down the aisle.  Kayla gives wonderful words of encouragement  starts placing bets on how long the happy couple will last. Kayla thinks Mellie won’t last 3 weeks let alone 72 days, snaps for Kimmie Kakes!

We now arrive at the hospital, Mellie has been sick for the past 2 weeks and that’s not all she’s sick of. Apparently she’s sick of her marriage, too.  She announces that her marriage to Robbie lasted a grueling 6 days.  I guess Kayla wasn’t actually too far off the mark with her prediction whilst she outlasted Nettie’s prediction of 24 hours. Mellie explains Robbie was going out partying and possibly cheating while she was at home living with her new in-laws, which you know, is a totally normal living arrangement.  Call me crazy, but maybe these things like living arrangements should have been addressed before the holy moment of saying ‘I do’.

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Last night we were treated to two full hours of Abby Lee Miller and Lifetime's Dance Moms.  Not only were social issues tackled, Melissa found a very blinged out wedding dress and Abby went on a date with a former stripper.  Good times, y'all!

The girls are back in the studio, and Kelly is wearing her finest bondage attire.  Abby isn't thrilled with all of the second place finishes, but she's much calmer than normal.  She says that everyone needs to be knocked down a few pegs…even Maddie.  Abby isn't going to yell this week, she just feels that clearly the girls don't want to be winners.  It is what it is.  Passive aggressive Abby is almost worse than screaming Abby!  MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid for allowing eleven looming points to come between her and the dancer who placed in front of her.  Nia is next, with Abby content on blaming the fact that Nia was sick…and therefore sloppy.  An also sloppy Paige finishes out the bottom.  Maddie is on the second tier for bobbling, and the poor girl fights back the tears.  Kendall is one above Maddie thanks to Jill's cut throat tactics.  Holly is quick to say that she'd rather have her daughter low on the pyramid than utilize Jill's dirty tricks.  Brooke is on the top, and while Kelly is thrilled, Abby reminds her that she has a target on her back.  A timid Chloe raises her hand to ask about her placement.  Abby explains that Chloe is still suspended, and she hopes that Chloe will realize that her mother is her biggest enemy when it comes to dance.  Good times!

The group dance is called "Don't Ask, Just Tell" and is based on the policy of gays in the military.  That's some pretty heavy subject matter, right?  Brooke, Kendall, and Maddie get solos.  Abby dismisses the girls and calls the moms onto the dance floor.  She decides to yell at them for wanting a sweet dance teacher instead of someone who creates winners.  The mothers then give their daughters a pep talk in the hallway.  Abby enlists the girls into a boot camp.  She wants blood, sweat, and tears…literally! 

In the viewing room, Melissa admits that she's been looking for honeymoon destinations.  Christi notices that her friend is wearing a wedding band.  Melissa dodges questions as to whether she's already married, and the women joke about times in the past that they've tried to help Melissa plan her wedding.  Why bother…they aren't invited!  The moms are confused as to why Abby chose this theme for the group dance.  Christi thinks this is Abby's way of showing support for the gay community.  Holly vocalizes that she doesn't find it fair that Jill was praised for her sneaky ways.  The other moms tend to agree with Holly, and Jill makes loads of excuses for her behavior.  She's no longer going to hide the fact she'll do whatever to get her daughter to the top.

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The most romantic Bachelor finale ever is finally here. Who does Sean Lowe love more – Catherine Giudici or Lindsay Yenter? Will he propose? Will the infamous letter change everything? Chris Harrison welcomes us to the three! hour! finale! and promises big surprises. I don't believe him. 
 
First, Catherine and Lindsay meet Sean's family, and Sean hopes his family's input will give him some much needed clarity.
 
Catherine is a ball of nerves and fights the urge to put up her guards. Catherine admits to Sean's family that she went into the Bachelor feeling skeptical, adding, "I didn't know how much I would learn about myself or that I would have feelings like this. It's beyond comprehension." 
 
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I know I sound like a broken record with every recap of Teen Mom 2, but these girls are a broken record, so it's technically not my fault.  Jenelle Evans keeps going back to Keiffer (and weed), and Chelsea Houska just can't get Adam's name from escaping her mouth every two seconds.  Leah Messer Simms Calvert can't make up her mind between Corey and Jeremy, and Kailyn Lowry can't contain her growing jealously for Jo's girlfriend Vee.  It's the exact same thing every week…except they are wearing different PINK sweat pants!  Let's get started dishing on last night's episode, shall we?

Not surprisingly, Jenelle hasn't seen Jace or Barbara since she got off probation.  She and Keiffer are happy to be back together and smoking up a storm…even though she's trying to keep things under control.  Yeah, right.  She asks him what will be different this time around, and he assures her that it won't.  Um, what?  Kidding!  He's been in jail, and she's gone to rehab.  They have grown up so much.  Jenelle still wants to take things *slow.*

Kailyn and Jo are heading back to court to discuss custody.  She doesn't want Vee around Isaac.  Ever.  I hope the judge kicks Javi to the curb if he agrees to that.  Could she want a bigger double standard?  Jo calls to reveal that he is moving to New Jersey to be closer to work, but it won't affect any of the drop offs or custody arrangements.  He plans to stay with his parents whenever he has Isaac.  Kailyn sullenly reminds him that she will NOT drive an extra hour to accommodate his new living arrangement.  Jo politely reminds her that she won't have to…wasn't she listening thirty seconds ago?  He is also unsure whether Vee will be moving in with him.  Oh gracious!  Again, I love how Kailyn threatened to move to Texas so Jo wouldn't get to see Isaac often, yet Jo moving an hour away and changing nothing is so horrible.  Plus, hasn't she been complaining that he needs to move out of his parents' house?  At his new apartment, Jo shares his frustrations about Kailyn with Vee.  Jo isn't ready for Vee to move in yet.  Is he the most mature one on the show?

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies left Paris. They returned to the BH where the antics picked up where they left off and we learned Faye Resnick hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in their stead but instead was just waiting frozen faced and clammy in the cryogenic chamber for their return.

Splits Richards opened her very own boutique cause she's bored all day and if Kathy Hilton did it why can't she? And oh yeah – Taylor Armstrong got a rude awakening! Sweet justice. 

Things begin with Splits waltzing onto the Ledo Deck in a full-on circus tent refashioned into a skirt. Apparently said skirt, a cacophony of patterns and colors, is available for $900 at her store. Oh, Kyle… at least you never lose hope! There's that right? I was a wee bit disappointed she didn't hop onto the mast for a full-flying Titanic rendition. 

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Is it just me, or do y'all also need a flow chart to keep up with the cast of VH1's Love & Hip Hop?  I can't even think of a proper introduction because there are so many people in and out of this show!  Last night's episode was no exception.

Welcome back, Olivia LongottRich Dollaz is happy to reunite with his friend so she can tell him "I told you so."  He's ready to oblige when it comes to his relationship with Erica Mena.  Liv is quick to call him out as a giant douchebag.  She's got his number for sure.  Rich apologizes and promises to be focused on her career.  He tells her about the ballad that he gave Erica, and Olivia pressures him to give her the song.  Rich caves, even though he knows it will hurt Erica to no end when she finds out Liv is singing her ballad.

Tahiry Jose is going to a mixology class hosted by Rashidah AliJen Bayer is also in attendance.  Rashidah has a lot of insight into ladies shoes.  She reveals that Raqi Thunda has made her way onto a list of up and coming women in the industry.  Rashidah wonders who she slept with to get on this list.  Tahiry and Rashidah are surprised to learn that Jen is no longer on Raqi's love train, and Jen tells them about what Raqi said about Consequence.  Jen also shares that Raqi had choice words for Rashidah, and Rashidah intends to address her gossip when the time presents itself.

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From drunken ice cream to sex toys shenanigans to broke down baby dolls falling out of windows… I can't decide if Big Rich Atlanta is starting to come together and find a personality or just a hot mess. Either way, it's hilarious. 

This week's episode of Big Righ Atlanta begins with the big girl version of an after school snack. Only, Harvin Eadon and Meyer Eadon don't go to school. Or work. I don't know what the Eadon sisters do all day, really, other than be awesome. So, their "after a grueling afternoon of being awesome" snack is ice cream sandwiches dipped in blue gatorade/vodka/sprite.
 
Harvin says it's the new milk and cookies, and Meyer quips, "If you were a cookie, you'd be a whoreo." Laughter and mischief ensue. 
 
Out of the blue drink's influence, Harvin comes to realize that Virginia Kolb is having too much fun these days, adding, "I have maj curiosity about what's going on in her sex life." When you're curious, like Curious Harvin, you put on a pair of latex gloves and search your mama's bedroom. Harvin's reward? Drawer after drawer and box after box of sex toys. OMG, Mama Goose!
 
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