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rhobh-finale-recap

Last night on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finale, Lisa Vanderpump's lovely vow renewal/housewarming party was infiltrated by some serious thugs in cocktail dresses. Adrienne Maloof showed up not six minutes after announcing her separation on TMZ and then she sat in the middle of the party like a centerpiece bawling about the marriage she openly hated on national television. If only that Paul Nassif wasn't such a desperate attention seeking jerk! 

Everyone thought Adrienne's eleventh hour appearance was a cry for attention, except for Kyle Richards who believed it to be a cry for help since Adrienne couldn't answer her phone that day unless your number was 1-800-TMZ1! 

And Faye Resnick. Yes, she's STILL there. Once Brandi Glanville and Yolanda Foster flee her admonitions of how to be a lady, they hide behind a column and fill Lisa in on the nonsense. Lisa is not impressed. Marisa Zanuck comes over to get clarification on what a hallpass is and the ladies manage to resolve their issues. Things go much better in the shade than they do the blinding sun; the blinding glares were reflecting off Faye's extra-taut skin giving everyone temporary insanity. 

Faye is hereby dubbed MC for short. MC, of course, stands for Morally Corrupt. Long-live the real Camille Grammer, never a girl to mince words and never a girl who forgets to be pernicious. I do believe Camille's smirking S1 Dinner Party From Hell face is right next to the definition in the dictionary. 

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4LHH

How quickly all good things come to an end!  I had no clue that we are just one episode away from the season finale of Love & Hip Hop. Thank goodness.  Basically, at this point, the show is only focusing on two tumultuous relationships and a potential prison term.  Everyone else is just along for their five minutes of screen time every other week.  You all know who I mena mean! 

The episode begins with Raqi Thunda heading to Olivia Longott's performance in hopes of finding Tahiry Jose to apologize.  She explains that Joe Budden wants her to mend fences, but after a half-baked apology, they are yelling at each other.  Ahhh, maturity. 

At home, Yandy Smith is snuggling with little Mendeecees and baby Amir while Mendeecees, Senior looks on happily.  They share their engagement news with the little guy, and he's excited about having Yandy in the family.  Sure, he's only seven, but VH1 made sure he was over the moon upon hearing the news.  There is no doubt about it–Mendeecees produces some precious children.

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Married to Medicine features the strong, fierce, and funny (according to Bravo) women that make up Atlanta's medical world. First, there are the doctor's wives, Mariah Hug, Quad Lunceford-Webb, Toya Bush-Harris, and Kari Wells, who are a mix of uppity doctor's wives and low-class whores (says Kari). Then, there are the doctors, Dr. Jackie Walters and Dr. Simone Whitmore, whose careers as OB/GYNs just, um, aren't nearly as exciting as reality TV. I've got no other good reason why two successful doctors would sell their souls to Bravo. 
 
Mariah, who thinks she was born to be on TV, clearly spends a lot of time watching reality TV and studying the mannerisms and catch phrases of other reality tv stars. If Tamar Braxton, Sheree Whitfield, Sheree Fletcher, Phaedra Parks, and Andrea Kelly (did I miss anyone?) got busy and made a baby, it'd be Mariah. It's Mariah's birthday, and she and her friends are going to have a fabbbbulous time because – you better check your email! – she's the queen bee. Mariah is married to emergency room physician Dr. Aydin Huq.
 
Kari (Holy puffy lips, Batman!) is the first one to arrive. Duh, says Mariah, because she's white. Kari is married to orthopedic surgeon Dr. Duncan Wells. "There are many different types of doctors," explains Kari. "But the most respected are the surgeons because they're playing with the big tools and they're bringing in the cash." Kari lets us know that her outward appearance doesn't come easy. It takes a lot of botox, collagen, and silicon work.
 
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mw4

On last night's Mob Wives, Carla Facciolo returns, and she isn't afraid of Love Majewski no matter how much Big Ang and Drita D'avanzo try to warn her of Love's violent ways.  Renee Graziano starts a new business venture, and Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano are still bickering like sisters.  At least everyone is keeping their hands to themselves…so far!

Love has an appointment with her neurologist.  She was involved in a horrible car accident a few years ago, and she still suffers from pain as a result.  Her doctor questions her headaches, temper, and memory loss, and Love is worried that she's getting worse.  In fact, just the other day, she got into a fight with some girls in the bathroom at a club, and she has no recollection of shoving one of the women's faces in the toilet.  No way.  The neurologist believes she's suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after cracking her skull in the accident, and he urges her not to get in situations where her temper could be exacerbated and she could lose consciousness in a fit of rage. 

Karen and Ramona are preparing to go back to Staten Island, and Karen is thankful that she was able to work things out with Dave and meet his girlfriend.  She feels they made a lot of progress, and that will only be a positive step for Karina.  Dave drops by to say good-bye, and he's pleased that the pair have opened up their lines of communication.  Now Karen can focus on reopening her father's case.

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big-rich-atlanta-kahdijiha-rowe

Things take a turn for the serious this week on Big Rich Atlanta
 
Sabrina McKenzie visits Cori Davenport, who is friends with Kim Zolciak and Ashlee Wilson Hawn, to discuss possibly speaking to the youth who attend her gymnastics gym. Cori hopes that Sabrina will be willing to be a mentor of sorts to her students. Sabrina feels as if this is a phenomenal opportunity for her to share her testimony and give back. 
 
Meanwhile, Kahdijiha Rowe wants to treat mom Sharlinda Parker to a shopping spree on Daddy Q Parker's dime. "You know I want something," Kahdijiha says. "I love you, Dadddy." Q cuts straight to the point, asking, "How much?" Kaddijiha asks for 10K – Q offers 8K and Kahdijiha pouts. 
 
Next, we learn that Katie Davidson has invited Sabrina to lunch, and we all know it's not because she longs to spend time with a dear friend. Katie clearly has an agenda, saying, "I heard some ladies at the country club gossiping talking that Sabrina and Cori are becoming friendly. I felt compelled to be a bitch to give her a head's up about Cori, who might be taking advantage of preacher Sabrina, to bring some positive energy to her cheer gym."
 
Not positive energy! I hereby sentence Cori to death by stoning! Katie seriously needs to get over herself. 
 
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phaedra-dvd

Last night Real Housewives of Atlanta was a total filler before the finale episode, which meant it was low on drama as Bravo lets us go into withdrawal in preparation for next week!

Things begin at Kandi Burruss' housewarming party where one furious former beauty queen is storming around, causing a tornado and unleashing the twirl of death. She's knocking over plants, tossing things at unsuspecting guests, laser eyebeams seeking her next victim as everyone cowers in fear hiding behind their wine glasses. It's only Kenya Moore, but that's like saying it's only the atomic bomb. 

As Walter Jackson and "date" scurry out the back door, Kenya's mane of death is twirling faster and faster and faster while she screams "SECURITY!" until Don Juan is dispatched to guide this furious storm to the safety of the parking lot. There, her only victim may be an unsuspecting Bentley – its life cut perilously short by an enraged Miss TWIRL-S-A. 

Kenya rants and raves about how Walter is stalking her and ruining all her social functions by showing up to intentionally destroy her. 'Get this Bentley out of my way Don Juan because I swear I'm about to pretend it's Walter and render it impotent. Oh wait – Walter is already impotent. Didn't you know?!'

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rachel-zoe-project1

This week on the The Rachel Zoe Project we were treated to more air kissing, extravagant runway shows, Rodger complaining about red spots.  Rachel went into a state of fashion shock and dapper baby Skyler played in Paris.

Exciting news y’all, Rachel Zoe is moving her entire family and company to Paris! Oh, no wait..  my bad. That’s just how much she packs for a week in Paris. I am beginning to think that the Bravo network are fans of trips to Paris! Which Housewives Franchise will be next? Sorry ‘Don’t be Tardy’, but I don’t see it being you!

Although I think it is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary to take that much luggage I kind of think if I had her closet I’d suffer from a serious case of indecisive-itis when packing, too! Rodger calculates that the baggage fees alone could cover another person's flight.  If that’s the case, I think Rachel should listen to Rodger for the first time in her life and ditch the hundred suitcases and gift me with a free flight to Paris instead!

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dd5

Last night's Duck Dynasty episodes were all about everyone's favorite Si Robertson.  Whether he's taste testing pizza or pulling the limbs off of mannequins, he promises entertaining television.  Likewise, Phil Robertson's deadpan delivery is fabulous, as is watching poor Willie try to reign in brother Jase and the rest of the warehouse crew.  Thank you, A&E, for reviving my Wednesday nights!

To celebrate their five millionth duck call (or at least some duck call), Willie has put together a casino night at the warehouse.  He actually has no clue how many duck calls his company has produced, but he wants to do something special for his employees.  The top three chip holders will each receive a prize.  Jase is appalled by his brother's idea of what constitutes a prize.  Third place will win a bottle of Willie's Mallard Merlot, and second place is lucky enough to get an autographed copy Willie's unpublished manuscript.  Jase has found better prizes in a Happy Meal.  However, everyone is excited to hear who will win the grand prize…a two thousand dollar gift card.  Si wins the money, and the brothers know they will be hearing about his victory for weeks.  Si can't help it he's such a big winner…go ahead and brush those shoulders off, y'all!

Si uses his winning to purchase a leather massage chair which he sets up in the warehouse.  The recliner sounds like a Nascar race.   Si prompts a doubting Jase to try it out, and he's quickly swayed as to how wonderful it is.  Willie enjoys it as well, although he doesn't want it in the warehouse…the guys will never get any of their work done! 

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