Recaps

lhhatl stevie j

The gang’s all here! After suffering through a snooze-worthy season of the original Love & Hip Hop, Stevie J., Joseline Hernandez, Rasheeda and Kirk Frost, Mimi Faust, Lil’ Scrappy and crew returned last night for a crazy Love & Hip Hop Atlanta premiere. Let the ratchetness commence! Don’t fail us, ATL!

After JoDez (I may be trying out some new nicknames this season…)went down in a blaze of glory at last season’s reunion, Mimi can only hope that Stevie has enough sense to steer clear of the train wreck. If not, she refuses to get involved with their drama (yeah, right!). After that pesky shower rod incident with Nikko that ended up making Vivid gajillions of dollars, Mimi has penned a tome about her experiences and kicked Nikko to the curb. Sex tape leaks she can forgive, but secret marriages? Not so much. We’ll see how long this lasts. She’s also traded her mop bucket for recording studio, and she’s teamed with Stevie to manage new artists. After listening to Tiffany Foxx, Stevie knows that no one can compare to Joseline’s music but he’s willing to ogle her creepily. When he learns that she’s on the outs with Nikko, Stevie offers Mimi a bottle of his special sauce–I honestly thought he’d started a barbeque line or something, but he means his sperm. Please stop now. Mimi can’t believe how ridiculous he is, yet she still wants to work with him. 

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blood sweat and heels

Yes! It’s the night of the pop-up runway show and some police…uh, interference. Last night on Blood, Sweat, and Heels, it’s Fashion Week in NYC and the ladies are prepping their various businesses in hopes of forwarding their names in the industry. Geneva Thomas, apparently now a fashion journalist who studied fashion at NYU, scored a 1-on-1 interview with designer Byron Lars, which she’s proud of. In another proud moment later tonight, Geneva will be showing us how to pair police handcuffs with a low patent leather pump (spoiler alert!). Daisy Lewellen is werking the mike off-off stage somewhere, where the Real Housewives of Atlanta have been cordoned off: well, at least Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore, who describe who they’re wearing, then peace out. Daisy’s running hard again, covering 6-7 fashion shows a day (and modeling her new Beyonce-inspired wigs!).

Mica Hughes is checking out bar/restaurant venues for her “pop up runway show.” Bottom line: it’s a fashion show with a flash mob feel. What can go wrong, I ask you? I guess the restaurant they’re scoping out will soon host unsuspecting patrons whose happy hours are interrupted by models and Mica popping out of nowhere working a makeshift runway. Please let this happen to me at some point in my life!

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Kenya premieres 'Life Twirls On' during RHOA Finale

Season 7 of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta has come to an end – now we just have to get through the reunion. Can we? Yes, we can… with vodka.  As they say: Life Twirls On… and so does the drama! 

NeNe Leakes is in NYC for her debut in Broadway’s Cinderella. She’s got Michael Jackson’s sequined underwear on her head as a hat. Is it better or worse than the wig she’s got on underneath? With rehearsals ending, NeNe walks on the Broadway stage for the first time and is spellbound.

NeNe tosses her sequined-granny panties in the air and spins – not twirls – because she made it after all – away from the little town of Athens, away from the stripper pole, away from Wigs-N-Cigs and Krayonce, and onto the Great White Way where it is ALL. About. NeNe. The fans, the name in lights, the billboards on Times Square – all about NeNe. Those other people standing on stage with her? Mere extras in the giant production of life that is NeNe Leakes: The Impressive Adventures of Success As Told By Success Herself: Blooperella! NeNe admits she’s nervous.

NeNe does recognize she can’t run off stage if things don’t go her way, right? 

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lw_unit_01072015_zd_0130-001

Last night on Little Women: NY, Dawn Lang is #sorrynotsorry about her behavior at the burlesque show. And Lila Call’s sobriety & dating life throw her into a tailspin of sorts. 

We start with a debriefing session about the burlesque show Jordanna James put on that included Jazmin Lang as a first-time performer and Dawn as a repeat-hosebag. Dawn, Jazmin’s sister in law, voiced her disgust with the show, making Jazmin cry and Jordanna enraged. Now, Lila, Misty Irwin, Jordanna, Kristin Zettlemoyer, and Jason Perez are gathered to talk about the previous night’s antics. Jordanna still thinks Dawn is just trying to keep little people in a box. Kristin reminds the group that Dawn has a thick skull and never listens to anyone’s perspective. She also claims Dawn a lot of issues being a little person herself, so she projects her bitterness and insecurities onto everyone else. The group proposes a Mardi Gras party to loosen the stick lodged up Dawn’s derriere. Lila reveals to the group that she has a date with an average size guy she met online. She didn’t reveal in her online profile that she’s a little person, but she claims if he has eyes, he’ll be able to figure that mystery out when he meets her.

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 Ramona Singer claims brunch on RHONY

Last night the ladies of Real Housewives Of New York hit the Hamptons, where the very homeless Bethenny Frankel invited everyone over to her house for brunch only to be told by Ramona Singer that brunch was her jurisdiction and no one wants to eat out of the Skinnygirl trashcan parked in the alley behind Bethenny’s summer home. Home is where the heart isn’t! 

Everyone was in the Hamptons for Luann de Lesseps yardsale and to see her new home, which is fabulous, cozy, elegant, sophisticated – it definitely seems like Lu! And it has the added benefit of containing a live-in hottie mcjr chef whom Carole Radziwill, in her tomato red pants turned beet red over, as she flirted shamelessly. She was laying on the single and ready to mingle vibes thicker than a beefsteak tomato paired with mozzarella.

 Heather Thomson and Carole escorted Lu to her yardsale, where eager fans were snapping pics of the Countess’ used linens and other finery. Luann looked like she was trying to hold it all together, as she ended up reneging on a couple pieces and purchasing them herself. In the middle of the auction in waltzed Ramona who was staying at her own Hamptons home with Dorinda Medley and Sonja Morgan

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 5

Well I just don’t know what to say about Kim Richards other than I think Kingsley ate her sanity. Honestly. I’ll just leave it at that with Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Recap done!

OK, I’m kidding. But seriously – where was this so-called 11th hour smoking gun we were supposed to be getting?! Can I get a RHOBH reunion refund? I was fully preparing myself for the news that Kim and Kingsley had gotten married in Vegas and were having a child using Brandi Glanville as a surrogate.

But no… apparently the big drama was Lisa Rinna had a momentary lapse where she morphed into Brandi and threatened to F–k Kim up via text. Wielding f-bombs and empty threats is hardly exciting news – Kim and Brandi do it habitually to the point that it’s the almost menopause mama who cried “F–k!”

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 dance moms jojo

On last night’s Dance Moms, the crew is still in Los Angeles, but this time everyone’s spirits are much higher. Of course, that comes to a screeching halt when they learn that they’ll be going up against the team that beat them on their previous trek out west. Jill is thrilled that Kendall will be launching her music career this go-round, but her daughter admits to her friends that’s it’s odd for her to be in the fore front. Kendall is excited about the opportunity, but she’s used to being in the background. Nia hopes their music videos won’t turn into a competition since they have such different styles, but she’s happy for her pal nonetheless. 

The girls’ banter is interrupted when Abby Lee Miller says that it is time for the pyramid. Nia is on the bottom for her solo’s third place showing, followed by MacKenzie for being the group routine’s weakest link. She’s not applying the corrections given. JoJo rounds out the bottom, but Abby praises her for learning to keep her mouth closed. Maddie is in third (wait, what?) as her technique hasn’t been up to her normal standards due to her latest dancing gigs. Sure, dancing at the Grammys is amazing, but it doesn’t require the precision that Abby has been teaching her all along. Kalani is second, and Kira interjects to say that she and her daughter have been invited to a fashion show event. While she will be attending, Kalani has chosen to stay with the team. This pleases Abby, which should shock no one. Kendall is deservedly on top for her winning the overall high score with her solo. Abby reminds Kendall that she has a lot of work to do with her video so she’ll be relying on the other girls for assistance. Holly reminds Abby that Nia’s video is next week, so she will be focusing on that. Abby icily promises not to rely on Nia to help the team. Kalani and Maddi are granted dueling solos, and Abby announces that Maddie will be missing a day of rehearsals to perform on Ellen

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southern charm craig

A dear, dear lifelong friend (transplanted to Boston but addicted to seeing her state featured on Southern Charm) texted me a “Which Southern Charm Gentleman is Your Soul Mate” (or something to that effect) quiz, stating, “I’ll tell you mine, but ONLY after you tell me yours.” I got Shepard “Shep” Rose (natch), and she hesitantly admitted that her match was Whitney Sudler-Smith’s divinely devilish mother. She lamented, “I think it’s slightly embarrassing that an opinionated lady who loves her medicine is my soul mate. What does that say about me?!?” Um, I’d say it just confirms how amazing my friend is…had I known Ms. Pat was an option, I may have swayed my responses! That said, last night’s episode proves that Whitney and Patricia are just fine playing the villainous upper echelon who take pleasure in looking down (way down!) on their co-stars. She’s like the love child of Julia Sugarbaker and Regina George with her flawless style, biting observations, and ultimate Mean Girl exclusion. 

The show begins with Patricia summoning her butler (the newbie Mr. Belvedere has been busy polishing the silver…I’m glad to see he got the job!) to request glue sticks on his next run to the Publix. She’s compiling scrapbooks for her son as practice for a wedding photo album, but you won’t find these leather, gold-embossed babies on Pinterest, that’s for sure. Patricia opines about Whitney’s young, European reality star girlfriend and their foray into foreign tabloids as she dreams of a couture Valentino for their ceremony. Whitney arrives to complain about the Sandy Duncan from hell who Thomas Ravenel has enlisted to run his campaign. She doesn’t like the Raise the Roof ad, and Patricia is confused by this serf’s taste in low-budget political propaganda. Pat found her son’s vision of a dancing T-Rav to be “brilliant.” The duo laughs at the thought that any ad or manager could get Thomas a seat in the US Senate, as Whitney recaps his fundraiser at Bowen’s Island (Patricia briefly turns into Cher Horowitz…”as if” she’d attend any event off the peninsula!). He relays Kathryn Dennis’ bunny boiler meltdown when she felt condescended to by Whitney. Patricia poo poos the grammar and turns the attention to her diamond studded flats. 

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