Recaps

Big Ang Recap: Birthday Bonanza!

by Lauren on August 20th, 2012

It was a Big Ang birthday last night! Ang planned a surprise shindig for her sister Janine, but both she and pal Linda celebrate their big days during the same week.

Linda comes to visit Ang’s chest at the Drunken Monkey. Anthony arrives with his new motorcycle. Linda manages to make sitting on a motorcycle pornographic. Of course she does. Ang is terrified at the thought of riding a motorcycle…something tells me that is foreshadowing. Later, Ang has her friends over to enjoy some bubbly and a very dirty pool. Kilo is breathing all over Lil’ Jen. Ang hates shoveling leaves out of the water, and she decides she’s going to get herself a pool boy for her birthday. He can fill her champagne glass, massage her head, and fetch her towels. No mention of cleaning the pool though…

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Big Ang,Recaps

Big Brother 14 Recap: Live Eviction and HoH Competition

by Melissa on August 18th, 2012

Last week, the Silent Six boldly evicted Janelle Pierzina from the Big Brother house. The Silent Six alliance consists of Mike Boogie Malin, Frank Eudy, Dan Gheesling, Danielle Murphree, Britney Haynes, and Shane Meaney.

Immediately following Janelle‘s eviction, the houseguests all but handed the Head of Household to Frank. Frank, the ox-like creature teamed up with Boogie, who has escaped eviction three times in four weeks… makes perfect sense. But, it’s okay, right? The Silent Six should be safe. They promised!

Britney immediately came down with a case of “OH S**T!” In the end, Frank stayed true to the alliance thanks to Boogie‘s insistence, and nominated Wil Heuser and Joe Arvin. Frank really wanted to nominate Dan. Boogie said no. Frank won the Power of Veto and really wanted to back door Dan. Boogie said no. Boogie is such a buzz kill.

The Big Brother week started with Joe as the target and Wil as the pawn. Then, Wil proved just how much he sucks at playing Big Brother. Wil’s flippant attitude left Boogie and Frank feeling uneasy. Who is evicted – Wil or Joe?

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Big Brother,Recaps

Project Runway Photocap: Sew My Way Or I’ll Slap You!

by Mary on August 17th, 2012

Aaaahhh… last night the bitchery on Project Runway was at an all-time high. Apparently the producers think we want that – we don’t. We want high-quality interesting fashions. We didn’t get that. We got meltdowns of epic proportions instead. And one delightful Dmitry who is slowly warming my ice cold Reality TV fashion blogging heart. Marry me you Russian dancing boy stud with the deadpan stare.

So last night the designers had to divide into two teams and create a “capsule collection” of work wear for Marie Claire Work – which is apparently a magazine? Is that like the magazines Ramona Singer appeared on the cover of? AKA: no one has heard of them and you can get them for free next to the trashcans outside of the 7-11? Anyway, yay! Product promotions!

So Gunnar (crazy skunk head loony boy with drama coursing through his veins like a fiery will) and Raoul (already eliminated once and back with a desperate vengeance) are picked last. Cue the meltdowns. Shockingly it was Elena, Dmitry‘s former Soviet Bloc comrade, who suffered from the biggest bitchery fit last night.

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Project Runway,Recaps

Hollywood Exes Recap: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

by Melissa on August 16th, 2012

The Hollywood Exes are struggling to bring back that feel-good feeling.

It’s the day after the public argument between Mayte Garcia and Jessica Canseco. Mayte called Jessica an elephant, or something, Jessica felt attacked, Jessica’s snide responses got to Mayte, and Mayte threw a wine glass out of anger. Nicole Murphy was left sitting alone, probably debating whether or not she’s paid enough to deal with this nonsense.

Andrea Kelly and Sheree Fletcher are now crying that they need some “serious retail therapy” after that “fiasco.” Funny, since those two are the ones responsible for the public showdown. Mayte had been avoiding Jessica since Palm Springs, because she was having issues dealing with Jessica’s flippant attitude surrounding her abortion, and then Andrea and Sheree encouraged Mayte to talk to Jessica. Mayte and Jessica needed to talk, eventually, but in private. Not in a loud restaurant fully stocked with wine glasses. Anyway, Andrea and Sheree need some time, now, to shop and gossip.

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Hollywood Exes,Recaps

Teen Mom Recap: How To Lose A Guy In 45 Days

by Melissa on August 15th, 2012

Last week on Teen Mom, Tyler Baltierra went to Butch’s arraignment, Catelynn Lowell went to April’s recovery meeting, Maci Bookout and Kyle King moved into their new house, Farrah Abraham struggled to take care of Sophia, and Amber Portwood fought with Gary Shirley.

Catelynn and Tyler Need Time

Catelynn and Tyler are supposedly preparing for college. The MTV timeline is confusing. Does the semester start, like, the next day? Hasn’t it been at least a week or two since Tyler pushed Catelynn to enroll because she was running out of time? This will be Catelynn’s first semester and Tyler’s second semester. Catelynn wants to be an adoption counselor and Tyler wants to be a youth counselor. Blah, blah, blah. We’ve heard all of this before.

Like always, Catelynn is thinking too far ahead and not worrying about the right now. Catelynn hopes to someday work with their own adoption counselor Dawn. Catelynn call Dawn to tell her the good news. Dawn thinks it’s a great idea, but kindly reminds Catelynn she needs to start with school.

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Recaps,Teen Mom

Dance Moms Recap: No Justice for Abby

by Lauren on August 15th, 2012

Last night’s Dance Moms was the same old, same old. The girls rise above while the moms act like mean teenagers. A certain hoarse voiced dance instructor sinks to a new low.

It’s pyramid time yet again. Abby Lee Miller is proud that the girls were the highest scorers, and she wants to keep this winning streak in tact. Kendall is actually on the bottom of the pyramid…I guess she should be happy she’s even there. Brooke is also on the bottom for not performing her number due to back spasms. Abby wants to make sure that Brooke knows she’s not being penalized for being injured…she’s penalized for being scared. Abby could see the pain in her face starting with the first rehearsal, and she’s upset that Brooke didn’t have the cajones to tell her she couldn’t dance before the actual competition. Paige is also on the bottom for not coming to rehearsal…because she had a broken foot. That makes sense.

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Dance Moms,Recaps

Bachelor Pad Recap: Chris Bukowski’s Love Square

by Melissa on August 14th, 2012

Ed Swiderski and Jaclyn Swartz celebrate Reid Rosenthal‘s Bachelor Pad boot. “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m on cloud nine,” says Jaclyn. What does that even mean? ~~It’s a good thing she’s so pretty.~~

Chris Harrison crashes the after party, bringing surveys for the exhausted and drunk Bachelor Pad players to fill out. Jaclyn thinks these surveys might have something to do with the next day’s challenge. Michael Stagliano is like, “Oh, man, I’ve seen this train wreck before.” My thoughts exactly! Where’s the popcorn?!

Kalon McMahon reads some of the questions – Who’s the ugliest? Who’s the smartest? Who’s the fattest? He says, “So, pretty much, every answer is either me or Erica Rose.”

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Bachelor Pad,Recaps

Real Housewives Of New York Recap: A Picture’s Worth A Thousand Toaster Ovens

by Mary on August 14th, 2012

It is a rarity to watch an episode of Real Housewives of New York and have any idea what is going on. With the constant insertion of Pinot Singer‘s insanity, I often find myself staring at the TV, mouth agape, simply wondering what the eff?

I generally put Sonja Morgan in the category of ‘nice person under duress’… I’ve pondered whether or not she has Stockholm Syndrome. My pondering is over… the former Mrs. Morgan is now co-captain on the batshit crazy train and headed straight to the asylum. I only hope the drugs are as strong as the delusions.

So last night I’m pretty sure viewers were left with many questions, the most important of all being: How is Sonja friends with a supposed super high-end important NY society people and who the hell let Pinot invade a party with her bad behavior, gross wine, and twenty-years past cute cocktail attire? Only a crazy person would allow that to go on. Where is the Sonja that demanded Alex McCord, her hideous dress, and her equally hideous manners get out of her house? More on all of this later, but first let’s start with Carole Radziwill‘s Christmas dinner.

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Real Housewives of New York,Recaps