I know I sound like a broken record with every recap of Teen Mom 2, but these girls are a broken record, so it's technically not my fault. Jenelle Evans keeps going back to Keiffer (and weed), and Chelsea Houska just can't get Adam's name from escaping her mouth every two seconds. Leah Messer Simms Calvert can't make up her mind between Corey and Jeremy, and Kailyn Lowry can't contain her growing jealously for Jo's girlfriend Vee. It's the exact same thing every week…except they are wearing different PINK sweat pants! Let's get started dishing on last night's episode, shall we?
Not surprisingly, Jenelle hasn't seen Jace or Barbara since she got off probation. She and Keiffer are happy to be back together and smoking up a storm…even though she's trying to keep things under control. Yeah, right. She asks him what will be different this time around, and he assures her that it won't. Um, what? Kidding! He's been in jail, and she's gone to rehab. They have grown up so much. Jenelle still wants to take things *slow.*
Kailyn and Jo are heading back to court to discuss custody. She doesn't want Vee around Isaac. Ever. I hope the judge kicks Javi to the curb if he agrees to that. Could she want a bigger double standard? Jo calls to reveal that he is moving to New Jersey to be closer to work, but it won't affect any of the drop offs or custody arrangements. He plans to stay with his parents whenever he has Isaac. Kailyn sullenly reminds him that she will NOT drive an extra hour to accommodate his new living arrangement. Jo politely reminds her that she won't have to…wasn't she listening thirty seconds ago? He is also unsure whether Vee will be moving in with him. Oh gracious! Again, I love how Kailyn threatened to move to Texas so Jo wouldn't get to see Isaac often, yet Jo moving an hour away and changing nothing is so horrible. Plus, hasn't she been complaining that he needs to move out of his parents' house? At his new apartment, Jo shares his frustrations about Kailyn with Vee. Jo isn't ready for Vee to move in yet. Is he the most mature one on the show?
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies left Paris. They returned to the BH where the antics picked up where they left off and we learned Faye Resnick hadn't fallen off the face of the earth in their stead but instead was just waiting frozen faced and clammy in the cryogenic chamber for their return.
Splits Richards opened her very own boutique cause she's bored all day and if Kathy Hilton did it why can't she? And oh yeah – Taylor Armstrong got a rude awakening! Sweet justice.
Things begin with Splits waltzing onto the Ledo Deck in a full-on circus tent refashioned into a skirt. Apparently said skirt, a cacophony of patterns and colors, is available for $900 at her store. Oh, Kyle… at least you never lose hope! There's that right? I was a wee bit disappointed she didn't hop onto the mast for a full-flying Titanic rendition.
Is it just me, or do y'all also need a flow chart to keep up with the cast of VH1's Love & Hip Hop? I can't even think of a proper introduction because there are so many people in and out of this show! Last night's episode was no exception.
Welcome back, Olivia Longott! Rich Dollaz is happy to reunite with his friend so she can tell him "I told you so." He's ready to oblige when it comes to his relationship with Erica Mena. Liv is quick to call him out as a giant douchebag. She's got his number for sure. Rich apologizes and promises to be focused on her career. He tells her about the ballad that he gave Erica, and Olivia pressures him to give her the song. Rich caves, even though he knows it will hurt Erica to no end when she finds out Liv is singing her ballad.
Tahiry Jose is going to a mixology class hosted by Rashidah Ali. Jen Bayer is also in attendance. Rashidah has a lot of insight into ladies shoes. She reveals that Raqi Thunda has made her way onto a list of up and coming women in the industry. Rashidah wonders who she slept with to get on this list. Tahiry and Rashidah are surprised to learn that Jen is no longer on Raqi's love train, and Jen tells them about what Raqi said about Consequence. Jen also shares that Raqi had choice words for Rashidah, and Rashidah intends to address her gossip when the time presents itself.
From drunken ice cream to sex toys shenanigans to broke down baby dolls falling out of windows… I can't decide if Big Rich Atlanta is starting to come together and find a personality or just a hot mess. Either way, it's hilarious.
This week's episode of Big Righ Atlanta begins with the big girl version of an after school snack. Only, Harvin Eadon and Meyer Eadon don't go to school. Or work. I don't know what the Eadon sisters do all day, really, other than be awesome. So, their "after a grueling afternoon of being awesome" snack is ice cream sandwiches dipped in blue gatorade/vodka/sprite.
Harvin says it's the new milk and cookies, and Meyer quips, "If you were a cookie, you'd be a whoreo." Laughter and mischief ensue.
Out of the blue drink's influence, Harvin comes to realize that Virginia Kolb is having too much fun these days, adding, "I have maj curiosity about what's going on in her sex life." When you're curious, like Curious Harvin, you put on a pair of latex gloves and search your mama's bedroom. Harvin's reward? Drawer after drawer and box after box of sex toys. OMG, Mama Goose!
Speaking of, last night's episode starts as Big Ang is prepping for her Christmas party. Even without Renee and Love, she knows things are going to be jolly! Drita arrives and is floored by Ang's hot pink and silver tree. Ang fills her in on Ramona's engagement, and Drita can't believe that Ramona is considering getting married to someone who could be spending decades behind bars. She wouldn't wish that fate on her worst enemy…and her worst enemy used to be Ramona! Karen is the next guest to show up, decked in a feather boa and a Santa hat. Ramona arrives next. Drita is glad to know that Love won't be in attendance because of her issues with Carla.
When Karen learns that Renee isn't ready to be around Carla, she is excited. Karen was only ever nice to Carla because she was Renee's friend. Ang teases Carla for being late, and Karen and Ramona give her the cold shoulder. The tension is awkward, and Karen breaks the ice by telling Carla that Renee isn't there because of her. She is being double teamed by Karen and Ramona, and Ang doesn't think it's any of their business. Carla wants to know why everyone has such an issue with the butter knife…it's not like she was wielding a machete. When Karen asks Drita's opinion, Drita says that if anyone waved a knife at her, she'd shove it where the sun don't shine. Ramona loves Drita's response.
Last night the ladies ofReal Housewives of Atlanta took their bickering and kill'em with kindness values to Las Vegas where things got um… well things got as invasive as a gynecological exam. There were strip clubs, Bedroom Kandi parties, and a marriage intervention with Porsha Stewart because apparently being a prude is so last season, right NeNe Leakes?
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore swapping moisturizer (Kenya doesn't want to be called "ashy feet" again!) and discussing dinner the night before as they pack for Vegas. Apparently the two are now BFF… when did this happen? I mean that's fine but didn't they hate each other a few episodes ago and now all of the sudden Cynthia is the only person Kenya can trust on this show?
Anyway, Kenya doesn't feel comfortable explaining to the other women that the reason she and Walter Jackson broke up is because the whole relationship was fake to begin with and he was tired of people around town actually thinking he would wife that. Mmmm-mmmmm! Walter is not about to ring Krayonce. He is not some hillbilly Kroy Biermann who is going to get run over by the Gold Digger Express.
Wednesdays used to be my least favorite day of the week, but now that Duck Dynasty is back, Wednesday and I are getting along a whole lot better. I'm convinced that if Jase, Willie, Si, and Phil Robertson can't put a smile on your face, then there really isn't much hope.
Last night's episode began with Miss Kay cleaning up her kitchen while Phil touts the uses for turpentine. Here's a hint–it needs to be used to clean up Hollyweird. Willie arrives and informs his parents that they are going to be having their portraits made with their pets. He can't believe he bought his parents such a stellar gift and they've yet to cash in on it. Willie made an appointment so that Phil and Miss Kay would have no other choice. We're less than three minutes in, and Phil gives me a line that could potentially be my favorite of the season. "Pet photographer? That's the degree you get when you're rejected from a degree in aromatherapy. 'Merica." Lord, I love this family.
At Korie and Willie's house, daughter Sadie is preparing some meatballs for her mom's spaghetti. Korie isn't quite up to par with Miss Kay when it comes to knowing her way around a kitchen. Willie learns that his son and his girlfriend have broken up, but he can't focus on the boy's heartbreak when he has jars of spaghetti sauce to wrestle. The following day, Jase is griping about a recent customer complaint. According to Jase, the guy thought he had a broken duck call, but it turns out (after extensive research on Jase's part) that the guy was blowing into the wrong end. Why, if I had a dollar for every time that happened!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s back y’all, and with a brand new set of bangs to boot!! Rachel Zoe is finally back to Bravo for season 5 of the Rachel Zoe Project and I literally went Ba-Nanas!! I forgot how much I missed this crazy fashionista, her ever patient husband Rodger Berman, and of course, über adorable baby Skyler.
Rachel lets us know that her last prodigy, Jeremiah, is no longer with the company standard RZ introduction to the season: another employee has flown the coop. I have got to say it’s feeling a little more than déjà vu.. Brad Goreski, Taylor Jacobson anyone? Whilst I love me some RZ, her prodigies bailing makes me a tad le sad to think about. But then I see Mandana and Rodger, and if they are still around then it can’t be all bad…