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Girls, girls, girls!  I have all but given up on the young "ladies" of Teen Mom 2.  Let's not even start with Jenelle Evans' recent rehab stint…let's just talk about the bad decisions they made in last night's episode alone!  Get it together, Kailyn Lowry!  Pick a guy, Leah Calvert Sims Messer!  Do something about your hair, Chelsea Houska!  And Jenelle?  In all seriousness.  Get off Twitter and get your life together for that precious little boy!  Whew…it felt good to get that off my chest! 

Last night's episode begins with Kailyn prepping for her first exchange with Jo in weeks.  She's had Isaac to herself for almost a month while waiting on their hearing.  Now that the protection from abuse order is dropped, she isn't excited to drop Isaac off because she knows that she and Jo won't speak.  Kailyn is livid thinking about the fact that Jo has his girlfriend around their son.  She puts Isaac before her, Javi and her friends…even when Javi is spending the night.  It's not the same as selfish Jo continuing to live with his family and hang out with Vee once a week.  Why can't anyone see the difference?  Geez!  I can't help but notice two things–Kailyn is getting very dolled up to see her ex, and she seems to be taking her tanning cues from Chelsea and Leah.  Orange you glad that Kailyn got a spray tan?  The trade-off is very tense, and Kailyn informs Jo that Isaac has a cold.  If he takes their son to the doctor, he'd better let her know!

Jenelle hasn't spoken to Gary since she found out that he hooked up with Tori before they started dating.  She's looking forward to getting off probation so she can fall back into the Keiffer trap.  He's texted her that it's them and Jace against the world.  Let's leave sweet Jace out of this, shall we Keiffer?  Her roommate wonders why Jenelle is even giving Keiffer the time of day.  She's re-evaluated the pros and cons between Keiffer and Gary, and while Gary has a job and a car, Keiffer is nice to her.  He's getting his act together…and by "getting his act together" she means that he's no longer incarcerated.

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Two words: Poof. Power. Harvin Eadon sometimes wishes that she could poof people away, adding, "If I had poof power, my whole world would change." Totally. Poof power is exactly what is missing from my life.
 
Big Rich Atlanta stars Harvin and Meyer Eadon discuss last week's art show and fret over whether or not Daryll Manning, who is Team Sharlinda Parker, will be open to carrying their jewelry line, She Blame Me, in his boutique. The sisters are on their way to a business meeting with Daryll (hopefully on time!) so I guess they'll find out soon enough.
 
Meanwhile, Meagan McBrayer bounces (pun intended) her way into the gym to workout with Kahdijiha Rowe. Understandably, Kahdijiha is a upset about how the art show went down, and she vents her frustrations to her friend. When Meagan invites Kahdijiha to join her, Harvin, and Meyer for a weekend at a lake house, Kahdijiha quips, "The last time I bonded with girls, I pulled somebody's weave out." 
 
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Part two of the Shahs of Sunset reunion special aired last night. And it was honestly the most disturbing hour of reality TV that I have ever watched. I still have not recovered.

Just being honest from the get go – Reza Farahan and Asa Soltan Rahmati disgust and annoy me, respectively. I barely tolerate Lilly Ghalichi and Mike Shouhed. I accept Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi for who she is – faults and all – because she never pretends to be something that she's not. My heart breaks for Mercedes "MJ" Javid. And I'm irrationally angry that she'd even consider reconciling with Reza

With that said, Andy Cohen kicks things off by asking the Shahs of Sunset why they refer to themselves as Persians and not Iranians. MJ acknowledges that Persian is technically not correct, adding, "But we do enjoy using the word Persian because it rolls off the tongue. It's pretty." 
 
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Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta brought their southern notions and their southern concepts of time to LA. And apparently in LA no one is ever late. 

Things begin with the ladies traveling via trains, planes, and hummer limos (but thankfully not on a platoon of Louwee VeeTAWN luggage) to NeNe Leakes' house in the Hollywood Hills. She must have rented Chateau Sheree, the LA Version because the road to get there is completely under construction and the limo driver informs them they can walk the rest of the way up. 

NeNe has to drive down and get them in her SUV and the house turns out to be gorgeous. NeNe's is hosting a fabulous dinner party so she can introduce her Hollywood friends to her cast mates. She wants the ladies to arrive back at her house by 9pm sharp for a sit-down dinner, even though it's the day they landed and they have like six minutes to get ready and traverse down the hill on foot to meet their limo and schlep all across town. No one is thrilled. 

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Love was in the air on last night's Mob Wives, and I don't mean Love Majewski!  Drita D'avanzo was thrilled to have her husband out of jail, and Karen Gravano tested the waters on a date with Storm.  The biggest announcement came in the form of Ramona Rizzo's engagement!  Big Ang was once again the voice of reason, and there was still no love lost between Renee Grazziano and Carla Facciolo!

Renee and Drita are meeting for lunch, and Renee is overjoyed to hear how happy her friend is now that Lee has been released to the halfway house.  Drita admits that she and her husband are a lot like teenagers in love.  She's willing to forgive Lee for his affair in an attempt to work on their relationship.  Has Renee had more surgery since the last episode?  Her right eyebrow is raised in a constant state of speculation.  It's a tad creepy and distractions.  Renee reveals that she shared her struggles with addiction with her father.  She still craves a cocktail and some pills, but she's coming to terms with the fact that her recovery will be a day-by-day process.

Carla stops by the Drunken Monkey to tell Big Ang about her successful meeting with Raquel and Joe.  Ang wants to have a holiday party for all the girls, and Carla is wary of the guest list, given that she's only getting along with Ang and Drita.  Carla will attend to support Ang, but it's going to be uncomfortable.  She is willing to be cordial, but she knows the other women aren't going to speak to her.  Ang is sad that her friend is on the outs with all of her other friends.  Carla can't understand why Love has such a problem with her, especially given the fact that the two have never met.  Additionally, Carla hopes that Renee will civil with her given their recent butter knife altercation.  Ang explains that Renee is a different person since going to rehab, and she's more about being happy than creating drama.  Carla hopes that Ang is right about Renee, and she hopes all of the other ladies follow suit.  Good luck with that!

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Oh Robertsons, it's been far too long!  Like most of y'all, I have been waiting for last night's season premiere of Duck Dynasty, and (no shocker) Willie, Jase, Si, Phil, and their families did not disappoint.  I couldn't love this show more if I tried.  Sure, there are some scripted elements, but the family love, the faith, and the humor are anything but, and it's just as humbling as it is entertaining to watch.  I'm so thrilled to get to recap the new season. 

The guys are hanging out in the warehouse, and I feel like it's a bunch of Santa's elves hanging out…if Santa's elves wore camo and had a subscription to Field and Stream.  It's no coincidence that Jase likens the boys' anticipation on Duck Season Eve to be that of children waiting for Old St. Nick to make an appearance.  Si thinks he'll be sleighing slaying (sorry, horrible word play!) ducks with not only his rifle, but with his mesmerizing stare.  No doubt we have some readers who wouldn't mind being hypnotized by Si's googly eyes, but I won't call out any of y'all Soncee!  Si must be very careful with how he directs said stare…he doesn't want to knock himself out with its power when he looks in the mirror!

Jase is shocked to hear that Willie will be camping with the boys on Duck Season Eve.  Willie reminds him that it is a family tradition.  He's still a redneck, right?  RIGHT?  Si and Jase then start in on a hilarious diatribe of Willie's idea of roughing it…like opening a garage door manually, having the wrong comfort setting on his sleep number bed, watching a DVD instead of Blu-Ray (you KILL me, Si!), or having to unload the dishwasher because his wife is out of town.  Jase can't believe that Willie is ready to brave the wilderness…after all, he frequents coffee shops.  God, I LOVE this family!  The boys convince Willie to give them the day off so they can prepare for their camping adventure. 

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Last night's Dance Moms had to have been one for the record books.  Not only did it have the return of Black Patsy, but we got to see Abby Lee Miller express emotions other than hatred or favoritism.  I didn't know she had it in her!  

The episode begins as the girls and moms convene in the studio, but Abby is missing.  She arrives late and explains to everyone that her dog Baby has passed away.  Abby fights through the tears to remind her troupe that this week they will be competing in St. Louis.  The girls are visibly saddened to see their teacher so upset.  Pets are family members, so my heart goes out to Abby.  Losing a pet is devastating.  Abby quickly runs through the pyramid.  Paige is on the bottom for her apparent lack of confidence.  Brooke joins her for only scoring fifth.  MacKenzie rounds out the lowest level.  Kendall is on the second rung, along with Nia whose facial expressions garner praise from Abby.  Maddie seems to have once again secured a permanent residence in the top spot.

The group number will have some ballet choreography, and MacKenzie is once again out of the dance.  Abby touts the piece as an epic love story, and she hopes she'll be able to escape into the fantasy of the dance to forget about the loss of BabyNia is given a solo, and Holly is over the moon for her daughter.  Maddie will also be dancing a solo.  Abby reminds the girls that St. Louis is the home of Nicaya, who is the daughter of blink-and-you-missed-her-but-man-was-she-sassy-putting-the-crazies-in-their-place Black Patsy.  Abby pleads with the moms to be on their best drama-free behavior.  Good luck with that!

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Sean Lowe! Is that a long-tail boat you have there or are you just happy to see me? Sean sails into Thailand to forgo sexy times with his three remaining bachelorettes – Lindsay Yenter, AshLee Frazier, Catherine Guidici – in the Bachelor fantasy suite. They go to the suite, but instead of the normal sexy times, Sean and his ladies share closed mouth kisses and play M.A.S.H.
 
My M.A.S.H. game says Sean and Catherine will live in a house in Dallas with three kids. two dogs, and one hamster. Crossing my fingers! 
 
Can you imagine spending only eight-ish "off camera" hours with someone before proposing marriage? I most certainly cannot, and leading into this week, Sean has some doubts as well. You see, he has feelings for all three women, and it's hard. Being. The. Bachelor. Is. Hard. 
 
We share your pain, SeanWatching it hasn't always been enjoyable either.  
 
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