Today’s bitch please award goes to LuAnn de Lesseps who told a big ol’ whopper on national TV and got caught! Ohhh girl, c’mon – everyone knows Bravo loves to expose a misdeed.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York the ladies arrived in St. Barths. On the teeny, tiny plane to the island nearly everyone is uncomfortable and I was wishing and hoping for a moment straight out of the seventies spoof movie Airplane. Inflata-auto-pilot? Yes, please.
So they all landed in peace and that was about the only peaceful moment of the trip. Actually I take that back everyone got along remarkably well and kept it in check especially considering Pinot Singer AND Heather Thomson AND LuAnn were there!
Rachel Trueheart is devastated by Michael Stagliano‘s shocking exit on Bachelor Pad. She’s sobbing… she was falling in love with Michael… her life is ruined… blah, blah, blah. Like all other break ups between reality TV stars who have known each other for approximately 18 days, it’s nauseating.
Jaclyn Swartz is busy consoling Rachel when Chris Harrison returns to the mansion with news about the rest of the game. First, though, he reminds the remaining fame whoreslove seekers people that Bachelor Padis a game. Chris explains: They will play the rest of the game as couples. Nick Peterson and Rachel are the only two contestants without partners, so they are forced to pair up.
Blakeley Jones, Jaclyn, and Ed Swiderski are upset that Chris Bukowskisurvived elimination last week, thanks to a bogus twist. Of course, on the other side of Bachelor Pad, Chris and Sarah Newlon are celebrating their good fortune. Game on!
Good gracious. Part One of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion took a lot out of me. Mona Scott-Young is mediating…if you can even call it that, but the lady looks really good. I didn’t recognize her! I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that she’s ready to stir the pot!
We begin with a montage of the season. It’s much easier to watch in a quick recap than it was to watch every week. I know the regular readers will agree! I’m most excited to see how all things Stevie J. will pan out at this reunion. I have a feeling I’m going to be incredibly disappointed. These women, save one or two, have absolutely no shame. None. Nada. Zero shame. It’s sad, but it’s certainly entertaining at least.
I generally like to keep my problems away from water, but I guess that’s not the case with the Real Housewives of New Jerseywho took their fighting to a Rock of Love level when things got dramatic in and around the hot tub of horrors. Sadly Bret Michaels did not arrive to bust into a hair metal anthem. #why? Luckily there were sequins. As one of our twitter followers pointed out, you can cut a bitch with a sequined bikini. Where do they buy these things?
So there they all were in some insanely hideous bikinis, hair and make-up done up to the nines, guzzling wine by the gallon, and shrieking at each other like mongooses so that it echoed through the vineyards of Napa and awoke a dreaming Vivendi Wine owner in his sleep. ‘Oh, no… ‘ he thought… ‘The meerkats have gotten into the grapes again.’ Nope, just some delusional women embarrassing themselves on national TV! Grapes are fine, viewers of RHONJ not so much! Pack your alibis and let’s go!
Last night we were treated to episodes of Big Ang! Christmas in August? I don’t mind if I do…
The first episode centered around Ang‘s birthday, and her husband Neil decided to celebrate her big day by having her face tattooed on his body. If that isn’t love, I honestly don’t know what is. We learn early on that while Ang loves that Neil and her son A.J. have such a strong relationship, Neil grates on her last nerve. She’s not impressed that he’ll be tatting himself as her birthday gift until she learns it will be a portrait of her. Ang decides she gets to pick the picture he’ll use. Well, duh.
Jenn‘s mad that someone finally realized she’s in the Big Brother house. “I’m on fire, being put on the block, especially as a replacement nominee,” she says. “Usually, I lean back – I like to chill. At this point, I’m going to be a force to be reckoned with.” Jenn complains her way through the house. Ian says, “This tattooed rocker is overreacting. She couldn’t be a bigger pawn right now against a legend of the game. She needs to chill out.”
Who is evicted - Mike Boogie or Jenn? What happens during the Fast Forward?
Last night on Project Runway it was the dreaded “real women” challenge. I so hate this challenge. First of all, I just want to see amazing clothes and I want to minimize anything that involves bitching designers, throwing tantrums, and refusing to try at making decent clothes for “regular people.”
The special twist was that the “real people” were nominated by a friend ala What Not To Wear and the PR bitchies were the poor slobs sent in to do the make-over. Really, really, really never was there a day that I wished for Clinton and Stacey more!
There’s not much to say about this challenge except that the usual bitch queens were even more bitch queens and Ven’s arrogance was the most plus-sized thing in that workroom. He was horrid every step of the way and I felt terrible for his client – both for her so-called make-over AND because he was so dismissive of her. Not only that, but he was blaming his attitude and design flaws on her for being “fat” and “unhappy.”
He was terrible from start to finish and thankfully his fellow designers were all disgusted by his attitude. I just want to remind you that: “Working with the plus-sized is very, very challenging.” Isn’t Ven plus-sized? His horrible client should just go shop at Kardashian Kollection! <<eye roll>>
The most surprising thing was that Gunnar was extremely pleasant and concerned about his client. It made me kinda like him. Sure, sure – it was the reality TV gods tripping with us and trying to make us like a snippy, snide queen whose evil spider monkey hiss still haunts me in my sleep. Anyway, good for your mantsie pantsie for being real person and letting your lady shine. Too bad the outfit was a hot hideous mess!
The Hollywood Exesare focused on their individual business ventures this week.
Sheree FletcherandNicole Murphymeet for breakfast. Sheree isn’t willing to relocate to live with her husband, Terrell Fletcher. Terrell lives in San Diego, but Sheree is in L.A. She’s come to realize that she fears losing her identity. She doesn’t want to be reduced to “Pastor’s wife.” Nicole can relate. She says, when she was married to Eddie Murphy, no one knew who she was and her plans were put on the back burner.
Andrea Kelly returns to Millennium to talk to the owner Robert. Andrea is disappointed by the attendance in her dance class. Andrea is stressed – she left everything in Chicago to come to L.A. – but she’s not attracting the crowds she is used to. Her ego is a little bruised, I’m sure. Robert suggests a showcase… and all is right in Andrea’s world again. Andrea leaves excited and hopeful.