I’m going out on a limb here and betting that last night’s Sister Wives was longer than Robyn Brown’s actual labor. Baby Sister arrived last night, and Kody cites that Robyn is far more independent with this pregnancy than she was with Solomon. We are treated to highlights of Robyn’s frustrations with Kody over the last several weeks, and both agree that their emotional connection isn’t what it was with the last. Robyn has felt “off” the entire time, and she tends to listen to her intuition which worries Kody to no end.
Baby Sister will be Kody’s eighteenth child. The family reminisces about firstborn Logan. He was born to Janelle after Kody had married his first three wives. Christine got pregnant not long after marrying Kody. Meri gave birth to Mariah a few short months after Christine gave birth to Aspyn. Madison came next, and Janelle had a difficult time producing enough milk. Maddie wasn’t gaining weight, so Meri stepped in to breast feed. As Kody’s brood got bigger, he felt more scrutiny from employers and customers. Many of Christine and Janelle’s pregnancies overlapped. While it’s a bit odd to think about, the family videos of the kids are adorable.
Last night’sReal Housewives Of New York left me feeling like Dorinda Medley! I watch this show! It’s supposed to be fun! None of you can “betave!” (And yes – I was swinging a vodka bottle as I ranted at the TV – ironically the TV, which can’t hear me, provided the same non-reaction as the Housewives who were physically standing right in front of Dorinda!)
Also, I’m just gonna say it – I’m tired of Bethenny Frankel. This is not HER show. That spinoff was CANCELLED. Time for Bethenny to recognize where she stands; maybe Bravo gives her special snowflake treatment, but she’s rolling in the same muck as all the other harridans she pretends to be above, and her despot tyrannical behavior is just annoying.
After last week’s poetry slam (party of one), lovesick Danny Zureikat is on strike 2 of 3 with Captain Mark Howard, not to mention everyone else. Not ready to “go be a Walmart greeter,” just yet as Captain Mark suggested, Danny figures he’ll stick around and try to screw up his life a little more! Thus begins another week of Below Deck Mediterranean, A Young Man’s Journey Toward A Restraining Order. But first! A possible beat down on the high seas, courtesy of deckhand Bobby Giancola? Yes, please!
Last seen, Tiffany Copeland was getting her drunken hookup on with Bryan Kattenburg. At the same time, Ben Robinson (who secretly likes Tiffany) was trying to squirm out of Hannah Ferrier’s cringe-inducing clutches. Just as Ben made his escape, he was faced with another conundrum when he walked into Bryan’s bunk only to witness the Tiffany/Bryan hookup in full swing! I don’t know about you, but I AM LOVING THIS!
Leah Messer and Miranda Simms discuss Ali’s accusations that Miranda doesn’t help her and only pays attention to Remi, but they manage to keep it civilized. We don’t see Kailyn Lowry talk toJavi Marroquin at all, but she tells her friends and Jo Rivera that things are tough and it looks like she’s headed toward a divorce. Chelsea Houska and Cole DeBoer celebrate Pete the Pig’s first birthday while Aubree cheers Adam Lind on in a weight-lifting competition. Jenelle continues searching for answers to her medical problems and has a blow-up with Babs when she chooses spring break over an important event for Jace.
Travis‘ birthday is the most important day of the year next to Jesus’ birthday. In fact, Travis is like the second son born in the miracle manger. At least according to Stephanie. (And Travis.) Therefore this warrants a lavish, over-the-top affair in which Stephanie proves that importance that is Travis’ ego, so she decides to throw a a Gatsby-themed party to celebrate the living incarnate of holiness on earth. With Stephanie in charge, Travis is practically pooping his pants that he may end up with a party at Bounce It Out! where Brandi and Stephanie slurp Jesus Juice through booze googles while dry humping the slide.
Back in Mount Pleasant, Kathryn and Cooper Ray (welcome back!) are spa-la-la-ing at the Woodhouse Day Spa. God, I love a man in a custom bow-tie and a fluffy robe! Kathryn’s getting her first facial as she anticipates the birth of her son. T-Rav has been so attentive lately, and she’s hoping he’s coming around to the idea of being a family man. Cooper swoops in to deliver some much needed tough love. He reminds Kathryn that she’s fallen for this before, and she has to realize that Thomas is a fifty-year-old playboy. Sure, one day he may come to his senses, but she needs to focus on living her life and raising her precious babies regardless of Thomas’ behavior–good or bad. Preach! Kathryn recognizes that T-Rav went fifty years without having children, so she knows it has to be a tough adjustment.
How much footage does TLC have of Meri tearfully talking about her catfishing? Clearly a ton, as we’re back to supersized Sister Wives episodes. At least Mariah gets her waterworks honestly! The two hours begin with Maddie shopping for her wedding dress. Kody Brown is upset to learn that his daughter doesn’t want him tagging along. She wants her dad to see the dress for the first time before he walks her down the aisle. Kody is doubly concerned when Caleb mentions he’ll be wearing khakis. Jake from State Farm? She sounds hideous!
The nearest bridal salon doesn’t know what hit it when Madison arrives with her mother Janelle, Meri, Christine, Robyn, and Robyn’s full-time nanny niece. Also in tow are her sisters Aspyn, Mykelti, and Mariah, who will serve as bridesmaids, as well as her best friend and maid-of-honor, Desi. Maddie is a smart girl, so she’s not allowing everyone in her entourage to pull dresses. They need to have a seat while she works with Desi and a salesperson. Meri is upset that she doesn’t get to help pick out a dress for the big day. She also demands to know if Maddie wants all of her mother’s sister wives to serve as mothers of the bride. Given that Mariah wants a plural marriage, I’m sure Meri will have the opportunity to shop with her daughter and all Mariah’s future sister wives.
Well that was some kinda bah-humbug holiday spirit on Real Housewives Of New York, but at least we finally met Luann de Lesseps‘ new man. Despite the free love, sexual adventuress vibe Luann has been rocking as of late, she and Tom D’Agostino Jr. seem genuinely happy in a way that radiated through the TV. I’m into it. Has love finally tamed The Countess?
I so wish the same would happen for Bethenny Frankel, because for all her loud (TOO LOUD) protestations that she “gives no f–ks” we see right through her. She is giving so many f–ks, (none of to men) that her emotional bankruptcy is exploding in a visceral and frankly unhinged way, giving her Bitch Tourrettes. I hope Luann gets a trademark on her hair then sues Bethenny for copyright violation. Just for fun!