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And we're back with the second dose of Basketball Wives LA Reunion madness.  I don't know if you're considering it a Christmas miracle to get two recaps back to back or if you're wondering how naughty you must have been this year to deserve two helpings of this madness in one day.  I hope it's the former.  :)  Let's check in with John Salley and his purple plaid, shall we?

John is back with his smug smile which is perfectly accentuated by Laura Govan, Jackie Christie, Malaysia Pargo, Brooke Bailey, Gloria Govan, Bambi, and Draya Michele.  The women's chesticular areas are still front and center.  Can you imagine another way?  No?  Me either. 

We return with the ladies holding up their cards sharing who should exit stage left from the show next season.  You have captivated me, John Salley, that is for sure!  Laura and Jackie's duel is in full force, and I adore that John has finally stood up so that we could regale his attire in all it's Urkel glory.  Who is styling these folks?  Getting back to the situation at hand, the majority of the women are ready to get rid of the Sisters Govan and Bambi for next season.  Most of the women believe that Gloria is too snooty for the show.  Jackie calls out herself…just to play the martyr.  She was concerned that most of the women would pick her (they didn't).  Jackie says that even though no one may want her back, she'll be back regardless.

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RT readers and Basketball Wives LA fans, please accept my sincerest apologies.  I had no clue that the first half of the reunion was airing immediately after the finale, and for some reason my season pass didn't record it.  I realize it's a week late, but I hope you enjoy the recap.  The second half of the reunion will be posted later today.

John Salley introduces the newbies, and is it just me, or is he dressed like Willie Wonka?  He welcomes Brooke Bailey and Bambi before touting the veterans, Gloria Govan, Laura Govan, Malaysia Pargo, Draya Michele…and of course, the lady who carried the season, Jackie Christie.  John shares that this year the reunion will have some surprises and many more fan questions.  Jackie is sporting her finest vinyl dominatrix attire.  We revisit the beginning of the season when Malaysia was trying to get the girls on board with reconciling with Jackie.  We all know how that went!  Jackie reveals that she returned to prove that she wasn't the pot stirrer we saw last season.  Uh huh.

Starting in with the viewer questions, John asks why Malaysia worked so hard to bring Jackie back into the group.  Malaysia counters that she is an actual basketball wife (smack in the face of 90% of her co-stars), and her breasts on On Display, as Melissa Gorga would say.  Another viewer wonders about Laura's evil behavior to Jackie, and Laura owns up to it.  Her girls are also all out for us to see.  I'm starting to notice that they all are…except for that random blonde chick…oh wait, that's Bambi.  :)  Laura and Jackie get into a back-and-forth about Laura's need for tit-for-tat.  Insults are hurled and John Salley can't seem to bring the women back into the Chocolate Factory. VH1, you are usually so generous with the subtitles….what happened?

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Last week on Big Rich Texas, Bonnie Blossman, Melissa Poe, and DeAynni Hatley all wrote off Leslie Birkland after she filed a police report against Bonnie's family and ran away from New Orleans without explaining why. 
 
Also, Brandon "Booger" Overbey and Whitney Whatley became engaged. 
 
Last week, when Leslie showed her face at the country club's chili cook-off, Bonnie attacked.  On her way out, Bonnie warned Cindy Davis to watch her back around Leslie. And Cindy just cannot understand why, so she invites Bonnie for drinks to talk about it. Cindy must be sloshed more than I realized, because I cannot believe she doesn't have a single clue as to why Leslie shouldn't be trusted. To drive home her point, Bonnie tells Cindy that Leslie told Connie Dieb she's been to rehab twice and nearly lost Alex because of it. A shaken Cindy denies the rumor.
 
I have to say, if she did go to rehab, it wasn't successful. When Cindy asks why Leslie would say such a thing, Bonnie simply says Leslie likes to tell wild stories.
 
Meanwhile, Melissa and Maddie audition swimsuit models for Melissa's upcoming swimsuit coverup fashion show. At the last minute, Melissa reveals she doesn't want to model in the show, as planned. Maddie tells her mom that she should represent the "old and saggy women."
 
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Last week on Shahs of SunsetGolnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi and Asa Soltan Rahmati got into yet another explosive fight. The good news: GG's earrings were saved. The bad news: sides were chosen, GG littered, and feelings were hurt. 

Hanging at Omid Kalantari's hill-side house, Mike Shouhed, Mercedes "MJ" Javid, and Omid discuss the drama. Mike is like, GG went bananas last night! 

MJ shares, "I took GG's side because Asa kept talking about Omid's nose." Mike pulls her aside and says, "Instead of you talking sense into your friend, you decide to take sides." When Mike takes issue with MJ's choice, she's all like, I'm no longer on GG's side because I'm not down with the violence.

Meanwhile, Reza Farahan and Asa are hiking on another hill. Asa tells Reza,"You f-ing missed the most epic shit. You know she attacked me? She starts taking off her earrings, and I'm like, 'What are you going to do with me? I can break you like a f-ing crispy cracker.'"  Reza and Asa are both disappointed in MJ for siding with GG

Reza tells us, "GG is like a pet venomous pet snake. They're pretty, you can feed them, you can take care of then, but eventually that snake will get you." 

Back at Omid's house, GG arrives. Omid asks GG if she wants a burger or a dog… she answer beer. Mike shakes his head, saying, "I'm watching GG come into the BBQ and I'm thinking she'll be remorseful, hung over, something.. the first thing she asks for is a beer. This girl doesn't seem sorry at all. This is no joke… she put her hands on someone."

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Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta fabulous was redefined by one koo-koo-kachoo ex-pageant queen with a penchant for repurposing curtains into ball gowns, I s'pose! Kenya Moore was up to her old antics again and apparently "old" is the operative word because if you want that woman to lose what few marbles she has just point out that she is over 40. Dang, just tell people it's your 5th annual 39th birthday!

The other thing that happened was the epiphany of NeNe Leakes. It seemed our fair Ms. Leakes had turned over a new leaf this episode. She played many roles: peace maker, investigator of truth and intent, ring bearer and secret keeper, friend and foe, and most importantly WWF referee. Most interestingly was NeNe's opposition to drama as she stayed calm and collected throughout. I think I like this new NeNe, who has emerged the mother superior of RHOA. 

Before somebody went Gone With The Wind Fabulous on us, she went after Phaedra Parks' husband Apollo. We're back at the pool where a desperate Kenya was wondering if she could borrow Apollo free of charge for a few baby-making endeavors. Kenya's wig, weave – whatever – is looking as nutty as she is; all ratty and gnarled! Is this the case of the girl wearing the hair or the hair wearing the girl?

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Last night we were treated to a double dose of Sister Wives, but it wasn't really more of Kody Brown's lion mane.  TLC just gave us two thirty minute episodes instead of one hour-long program.  There's drama and Kody tears…it's not funny.  So why am I laughing as I type?  Perhaps because when I typed it, I didn't realize that Kody was crying over the loss of a dog…I am a horrible person.  I am so saddened that the Browns have to deal with putting down their twelve-year-old family member. 

On the first episode, the family meets to go over the different options for the homes.  Granite countertops?  Christine Brown is quick to pick her back splashes and cabinets, but Meri Brown and Robyn Sullivan Brown are slow to make a decision.  Meri is willing to get another job so she can have what she wants in the house.  Seriously, Meri?  You're too good for sliding glass doors?  She really isn't willing to budge on what she wants in her home even though she's over budget.  I love that Christine won't offer up any of her extra cash even though she comes in under budget.  I totally get that Meri shouldn't be punished budget wise just because she wasn't able to have more kids, but on the flip side, she should be thanking her lucky stars she's getting a ginormous home for herself while her sister wives will have kids doubling up in bedrooms.  I normally really like Meri, but she needs to get over herself.

Thanks Meri, for making me tear up by showing me an aging, sick dog.  It breaks my heart.  I'm such a dog person, and I've lost two dogs when I was growing up to old age, and one who was hit by a car as an adult.  I just let my four-legged child get up on the sofa with me to watch this show because all of this dog story line is so sad.  Meri and Kody call in all the children to say good-bye to Drake, and the kids are bawling crying and taking pictures with the sweet pooch. 

Over at Janelle Brown's house, it's time to hit the gym.  She is up at quarter till five in the morning, and she's heading to meet with her trainer.  I think it's very brave of Janelle to share her weight loss struggles.  Christine is very proud of her sister wife's dedication.  Janelle's trainer is is not only working on her body, but he's also trying to help her change her eating behavior.  She is very determined.

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It would appear that Bimini isn't a place of relaxation or fun if you happen to be a member of the Real Housewives of Miami. Nope, instead it happens to be a place of arguments, backstabbing, and bitchery. Really, though a Housewife is capable of turning even a spa that has Valium-laced water into a place of chaos and crazy. 

Things began last night with Karent Sierra and her smile of denial continuing to see the RED RUM writing on the wall as a reminder to make mixed drinks. In short, Karent refuses to deal with reality. The next morning after learning that Rodolfo may or may not be dating a 24-year-old hottie she decides to just pretend all that yucky mess doesn't exist. I hope she's better at tackling dental problems than she is at dealing with real life. 

While Joanna Krupa and Lisa Hochstein would prefer to focus on their breakfast and making sure their hair and make-up look appropriately tussled and natural, yet perfect; Lea Black can take no more. She comes right out and asks Karent why she didn't defend her relationship to the other ladies after they accused her of faking it for the cameras. Karent just keeps that daft smile on her face. 

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Jersey Shore is drawing to a close, and I'm equal parts sad and relieved.  Okay, so maybe not equal parts…I'm more relieved than sad.  Just like the shirt before the shirt, tonight is the episode before the finale.  I am going to miss these crazy kids.  They love each other without question.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvechhio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Deena Nicole Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, I'm honestly going to miss you.  Call me.  Seriously.  And God speed. 

I realize they are probably too old to be the party animals they are at this age (although that throws a wrench in my social plans), but they are still human, vulnerable, and fun-loving.  You can't help but relate to that…or maybe you can't, but I can.

On last night's episode, the boys have recently made peace with JionniJenni calls Roger who reveals that Jenni has been pot stirring about Jionni's mismatched relationships with the guy roommates.  Jenni isn't happy that Jionni says she's been talking crap about her.  Rawn is quick to defend Jenni although he knows what was said at the guys' night out.  Jenni decides to go straight to the source and calls Jionni.  She questions why Jionni thinks that she's been talking smack.  As far as Jenni is concerned, Jionni wasn't present for the first half of the summer.  He bends, she forgives, and the pair loves each other for the sake of Snooki.

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