Reunions often descend into a contest of who is the worst of the bunch. And this one was no exception. When the level of vitriol reaches the extreme harpy stage – it’s time to recast. We’re waiting, Andy Cohen…
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County no one redeemed themselves or came across as a grown woman. Does it ever happen that way? Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney are took their Over-The-Hill Barbie act on the road and switched hair for the day. I think Tamra got her wig from the Dolly Parton synthetic collection on QVC. They also wore the same color dress. Was it an act of solidarity?
Whomever did Tamra‘s make up should be fired, because she looked 55 trying to look 45. Not cute.
Also, what was up with Heather Dubrow‘s eyebrows? Girl, the botox needs to stop and don’t try to play it off as a tweezer malfunction. We know you had unsupervised alone time with Terry’s botox collection after a couple glasses of wine. Besides, don’t rich girls wax, not tweeze?
I also have to comment on Heather‘s country music star circa 1994 hair. This is a good lesson – do not let Gretchen style your hair, ladies! Or choose your dress.
If you blinked, grabbed a snack, or called Iowa to warn them Farrah was on the way, you probably missed Catelynn‘s contribution to this episode.
Butch announces he’s off to find a job. That’s the end of the Butch scenes, which is a darn shame. Next week’s previews show Butch flabbergasted that somebody ran a background check on him, so he’s either having issues finding employment or he’s heading back to the slammer.
Catelynn’s grandmother comes for a visit. While she’s there, Catelynn and Tyler‘s adoption counselor Dawn calls to invite them to attend an adoption support group meeting. I was really hoping Catelynn’s grandmother and Dawn were setting Catelynn up, and instead of support group, they were whisking her away to What Not To Wear.
Last night’s Dance Moms was the showdown between Abby Lee’s Dance Company and Cathy’s Candy Apples.
Abby Lee Miller isn’t thrilled (to say the least) that her girls lost their last competition by one-tenth of a point. It’s time to cowboy up! These girls are the ones to beat, not the ones to be beat. This week the troupe will be traveling to Ohio to compete…against former dance mom Cathy’s group of Candy Apples. Abby, the girls, and their mothers are all rolling the their eyes at the thought of seeing Cathy again. At least they finally seem united! Abby wants to make apple pie out of Cathy’s group with her dancers as the a la mode.
Things begin with Carole Radziwill (in her nephew’s borrowed Halloween costume), Sonja Morgan (in Indiana Jones’ borrowed hat), and LuAnn (in Princess Diana’s borrowed accent) arriving in London. Heather Thomson and her Yummie Tummie holla-ing team are already there.
Carole is grouchy. And she’ll remind you of it over and over on this trip. Personally, a grouchy and snarky Carole is much more what Bravo was hoping for when they cast her – and she’s a good kind of witty grouchy, not just an out of control bitch.
Oh gracious. Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was just as crazy as usual with the fighting, and the name-calling, and the fake, scripted situations.
K. Michelle heads over to Ariane’s apartment to have drinks with Ariane and Mimi Faust. Mimi reveals that she’s met with Joseline who confessed she was pregnant with Stevie J‘s baby. She is crying and angry, especially at the fact that when Stevie met up with the pair he had Joseline’s pregnancy test in his pocket. She wants to move forward with her life. Mimi is sick of Stevie saying one thing to her and then doing another. K. Michelle, and of course Ariane, think she’s finally gaining some sense when it comes to her deadbeat boyfriend.
Sean is strong, funny, and sensitive. Emily thinks he’d be a great father figure to Ricki. Jef has style. Jef is kind and thoughtful, with a great sense of humor. Emily feels as if Jef gets her like no one else ever has.
Emily’s favorite things about Arie are his upper lip, his bottom lip, and his tongue. Emily cries when she thinks about Arie. Is it because she knows he’s the one or because she knows he’s not the one and she’s already mourning those kisses?
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey everyone mostly got along and for a second there I thought I was watching the wrong show until Caroline Manzo popped up to insult her children on national TV. Oh Caroline, cut the cord. And Manzo Spawn – run.
It’s the day of Antonia Gorga‘s sixth birthday party and what’s a mama to do but get her make-up and hair professionally done for a backyard party filled with kindergartners. Do stilettos go with a bouncy castle? Didn’t think so!
While Melissa Gorga is in the make-up chair, Antonia is hard at work assembling gift bags. Who’s the birthday girl again? Melissa is gushing about Antonia’s lavish party – JoeyGorga tells her she’s too expensive. Don’t try to compete with Taylor Armstrong, Melissa. The lip injections are already taking it too far.
Melissa asks Poison about the visit to the therapist. Joey proceeds to tell us that Teresa Giudice must have lied to the doctor about how they had Sunday dinners together and then Teresa tells us the doctor didn’t like them. Then they both blame each other for all the problems in the relationship while claiming they are all about peace, love, and forgiveness. Why do they both do this? It’s ridiculous!
Big Ang already has my heart so I’m going to love her show, right? I mean, her intro is graphitti in her likeness. Fabulous.
After touting her love of bartending at the Drunken Monkey, Big Ang introduces us to her cast of characters: Crazy Linda, Patty Slaps, and Lil Jen. Patty Slaps is already my favorite on name alone. Lil Jen almost died of pancreatic cancer, but now she’s healthier than ever. She’s fifty-three and still lives with her parents. Maybe she’s my favorite. Gah! The choices.