I don't know why TLC and ABC didn't think to make last night's episode of Sister Wives as a crossover with Shark Tank. Can you imagine Daymond John or Mark Cuban reacting to Kody Brown's hair and Robyn's whining as they pitched My Sister Wives' Closet? Christine could model the jewelry wearing her finest medieval garb! What a missed opportunity!
The wives are working on a business plan because apparently showing up and just asking for money doesn't work with venture capitalists…they like presentations. It's crazy that rich people won't just give out money to tacky online jewelry boutiques!? Robyn and Kodi are rocking denim tuxedos and whining about goals and differences and hopes and dreams and teamwork. Meri complains, and Janelle is the only one with any sense of vision, organization, and focus. Shocking. Why is she still here? Run, Janelle, run! We'd all support you! Kody decides the family should take a day to figure out where to go from here, which is a great idea considering they have to pitch themselves and their business in twenty days. I love that the two people who claim to be the most invested in this company are the two biggest procrastinators in the Brown bunch.
So we've got a new opener for Sister Wives…not the words, but at least the outfits. That's a plus right? Some wives are happy while the others are doing what they should be doing…freaking out at the revelation that they are in this polygamist situation while cameras watch…
Several children and Meri Brown are celebrating their birthdays. If you ever have enough children to infringe on your special day MORE THAN ONCE, I'd venture to say you're having too many children. Kody Brown is grilling out for the birthdays, and in anticipation of his birthday and his anniversary with Janelle. Christine could care less about birthdays, she just wants to grow My Sister Wives Closet with some investors. Gracious. There are people who want to put their money into this situation? Christine is channeling her inner Martha Stewart when thinking about what "their brand" can accomplish.
Kody and his hair are stressing about his wife house jumping, and Robyn Sullivan Brown is all about Kody bonding with her kids. Robyn and Kody bicker about her son having Aspergers. She wants to do what's best for him, while Kody thinks it was a ridiculous diagnosis. Let's forget about that gem for a bit, because there are a lot of birthday and anniversary celebrations to tend to in the meantime. Meri loves Keith Urban and she does everything in her power to straighten Kody's hair so he can be the Australian prototype she wants. At least line dancing is good for something!
Hey, I like Sister Wives just as much as the next gal (is that really a thing?), but it seems like some fans are crossing the line! While we all realize that Kody Brown's beautiful, wind-blown, stringy golden locks are probably best appreciated in person, that doesn't mean that someone should just break into the family's cul-de-sac compound for an up-close and personal relationship with his hair…and his multiple wives!
That said, first wife (and actually only legal wife!) Meri Brown posted a vague tweet Tuesday that makes me think that some fans are straying from tours of the Vegas strip in order to get closer to the polygamist clan. I can't elaborate on the story, as it's just one tweet, but please feel free to tell us what you think in the comments section. Once read, it's quite creepy if you infer what I'm inferring! Was there a trespasser in the Brown's cul-de-sac?
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MERI'S TWEET!
Bad Numbers: 2.072 million fans watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians this week. That's a 500,000 drop from last week's over-hyped proposal show. Part two the Shahs of Sunset reunion garnered 1.044 million viewers. Do you think Shahs of Sunset will return with a season average of 1.272 million?
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE BREAKDOWN AND MORE!
Tamron Hall is a saint to moderate the Wives Tell All episode of Sister Wives, but I hate she has to start off immediately asking about the commitment ceremony and that damn mission statement. Of course, Robyn pipes up first with a very canned and rehearsed response. I am so distracted by how much make-up they're all wearing. Has Kody been spray tanning? Is that Botox? It looks like Truely may have done poor Janelle's make-up, and Christine appears to have been styled by Minnie Mouse.
Meri's emotional roller coaster over being an empty nester is revisited. Mariah may be going off to college, but at least she has her wet bar! Meri admits that she still doesn't know what her role will be in the family. She may want to take a sabbatical to find herself. Robyn is angry…she helped Meri raise Mariah, and she wants the favor returned. Kody's face is going to give me nightmares. Robyn thinks that Meri has so much to give to the remaining kids. Meri likens her loss to if one of Kody's wives died, but Kody reminds her that she still talks to Mariah everyday. She needs to get over it.
It's finally arrived…that dagnabbit commitment ceremony on the finale of Sister Wives.. It certainly took long enough, didn't it? The celebration of Kody Brown and his women is in full force. This party is much bigger than it needs to be I anticipated with 200 guests and multiple items from the rental company…not to mention 7000 individual servings of food. Yes, you read that correctly. Meri's sister is at the helm of the kitchen with her mom is in charge of determining the portion sizes. She loves math. The kitchen looks like a Pinterest nightmare.
The event planner pretends to be excited about the inauguration of the mission statement. The wind is whipping through the cul-de-sac compound, and canvas displays and strings of lights are swirling around like Dorothy's house. Thankfully, fashion designer Sam has enlisted her mother to help with the dresses. I am concerned that Sam is going to snap. Janelle is missing a sleeve and Robyn is missing a dress. Sam has totally given up on the Meri's colossal nightmare. Can you blame her?