This is my first experience discussing the atrocity that is Kody Brown's hair. Why are there no cameras in his bathroom detailing how he achieves such a paragon of 80's greatness. Kody missed his calling by not going into figure skating because the twirl potential of those locks is epic.
This week theSister Wives took a quad-only trip to San Francisco to bond sans Kody, who is really the reason no one gets along. Meanwhile Kody stayed home to burn down the fort and show his paternal ineptitude to the world.
Things start out with Janelle running a 5K, which I hope translates into eventually running away from Kody. To support her, Kody runs with her – well actually he runs far ahead of her. Robyn, of course, is pimping t-shirts to go along with the race that feature the word "Be:" followed by a bunch of adjectives of what someone could be. Polygamous is not on the list, but the design does feature an exploding heart. Ummm…
On last night's Sister Wives, Kody Brown saw two daughters graduate from high school. While Christine was overjoyed for daughter Aspyn, Meri continued to meltdown over Mariah leaving the nest. Poor Janelle, she really wants to high tail it, doesn't she? Even Robyn raises some eyebrows by inviting a fortune teller to the girls' graduation party. Her prediction? One more wife! Oh gracious!
The episode begins with Christine, Meri, and their daughters plan the graduation party. The girls think the moms are living vicariously through them since they never had graduation parties. Mariah and Aspyn are opposed to dancing and DJs. Meri thinks that the girls must be embarrassed by their parents' dancing skills. The only idea that sounds remotely appealing is Robyn's palm reader. I do love that the girls' are cussing in front of their moms. Mariah says "hell no" to a slide show. Kodythen discusses, yet again, how much more expensive Mariah's college education will be. If I were Mariah, I'd ask my folks to put the money they planned to spend on the party towards my education. He invites Mariah's study skills teacher over to talk about financial planning. Kody does not want any of his kids graduating with student loan debt, and he isn't going to be cosigning diddly squat. Slowly but surely, Kody realizes that loans would allow his kids to study and progress without worrying about working three jobs every semester. Take it from me, it's much easier to worry about that debt after graduation. Oh, sarcasm!
On last night's Sister Wives, Kody let the locks fly with lots of manly activities. It was slightly epic. The Browns are planning a commitment ceremony, and they are looking at different places to throw a big family event. Christine loves dropping the fact that they are polygamists to see how people react. The poor guy giving them a tour of the venue says he isn't the church or the government…his place of business just wants to make money. I never need to see Kody moonwalking on a dance floor ever again. Christine balks at the $10,000.00 minimum price tag, but Janellebelieves that it's actually a fair price for what they would be getting. Meri appreciates that some of the women don't want to have to prep or clean up as it would all be taken care of by the event staff, but it's an awful lot of money. Kody admits that he can be very stingy when it comes to his wives' spending, but he wants to go all out with this celebration. After all, he's got a reputation to uphold. Gag.
Kody's friend Brett is coming to visit, and he and Janelle's trainer are going to install wrestling mats in Janelle's garage for son Hunter. Janelle still has stuff in her garage that needs to be cleaned out, so Kody volunteers Christine's garage for the mats as her garage is spotless. Christine requests a private conversation with Kody so she can give him her list of demands in return for turning her garage into a mini gym. She wants more time with Kody and more grocery money. Where are they getting this money? Is TLC footing the bill for all of this madness? Hunter is excited about his new training arena. He thinks it's cool that his dad likes to relive his high school glory days.
Love & Hip Hop returned after a two week break to a much smaller audience. Only 2.386 caught Erica Mena and Rich Dollaz discussing their relationship – that's down over 500,000 since early December and nearly a million since early November. Will it bounce back in January?
Last night was thriving on the cul-de-sac with the return of Sister Wives and, more importantly, Kody Brown's hair. Everyone is thrilled to be in their homes, and everything is as it should be. Kody can run from house to house–it's the best exercise routine ever! The wives are glad that the kids are in such close proximity, but the ladies are still as independent as ever…in other words, they still despise one another. Even with a commitment ceremony looming, the women's interactions are incredibly awkward.
Now that some of the older kids are preparing for college, the family believes that a discussion about a tuition budget should be at the forefront. Kody is anti-student loans. He doesn't want his kids to have any college debt, as if that's entirely feasible. Thanks for reminding me of my debilitating law school debt, Kodster! With Meri about to be an empty nester and Mariah wanting to go to a much pricier school, Kody thinks Meri should shoulder more of the financial obligation.
Robyn has Meri's back, but Kody isn't budging. They call in Mariah to share "their reality," and Christine informs the high school senior that her full time job should be trying to find scholarships. With seventeen kids, no one should get a full ride. A tearful Mariah (when is she not tearful?) explains that she wants to reconnect with her Mormon faith. Janelle wants Mariah to be able to go to the school of her choice. Kody doesn't seem to be onboard with this wife mutiny, and he reminds everyone that he's the common denominator with the children. He's such a prize.
Score one for the Browns! I doubt Kody Brown has been this happy since he found Aqua Net on BOGO at the local Rite Aid! As you recall, the Sister Wives patriarch relocated his family from Lehi, Utah to Las Vegas, Nevada after their polygamous lifestyle became public. I guess that's what starring on a reality show will do for you!
The family cited the move as a way to get away from Utah's anti-polygamist statute which had Kody and wives Meri, Janelle, Christineand Robynfearing jail time. Kody and his wives challenged the law, and it has since been announced as unconstitutional by a federal court judge. Many states have anti-bigamy laws which do not permit people to enter into multiple marriage licenses, but Utah's law made multiple families cohabitating as one punishable with up to five years in prison.