Briana talks to Jacob, the boy, behind her mom's back. Cue the scene where Mom reminds Briana – not so gently – that she has baby baggage. So, the eyebrows have spoken, Briana is nothing more than a girl with a baby. Proceed directly to the coven. Don't call Jacob. Don't collect $200.
As we just reported, Farrah Abrahamappeared on Bethenny Frankel's talk show today, and now the former Teen Mom star is boohoo-ing about how she was treated. Despite my brain's screams – "Too much ego and desperation on one stage!" – I watched the segment.
Those ventures includeFarrah's porn movie and upcoming line of sex toys, of course, and Bethenny was less than impressed. "If you want to be a business person, I don't think that should be your business," she said. "From what I understand, you're known as being the Teen Mom; the word mom is in your title with people. I think that we might not want to buy sex toys from the Teen Mom."
When asked why she felt the need to clean up her toddler's eyebrows, Farrah said, "After that whole situation in the media, I actually got a lot of fan mail from girls who were younger, who did have unibrows, and they only wished that their moms would have helped them."
A second audience member jumped in, saying, "My head is going to pop off, I swear!" HAHAHA! Join the club! Welcome to the perplexing – but sometimes extremely amusing – reality that is Farrah Abraham, my friend.
Farrah Abraham has a man in her life – and she's been keeping it a secret!
Farrah and celebrity DJ Brian Dawe went public with their romance over the weekend. Apparently, the former Teen Mom star and Brian have been dating for five months, which means they hooked up right around the time Farrah's "sex tape" was "leaked".
Brian was featured on VH1's Master of the Mix and has shared a stage with big names like Rihanna, Ke$ha, Busta Rhymes, 2 Live Crew, and many more. Why he's with Farrah… I have no idea… but the two looked real chummy in a set of pictures released this morning.
It's Briana's 18th birthday. Mom agrees to watch Nova overnight so Bri can hang with her friends at a hotel. Briana, in all her socially awkward glory, plans to go clubbing behind mom's back. Mom and Brittany talk about Bri's big night out ad nauseam. Brittany thinks Briana is too irresponsible to be out all night on her own, yet she gifts her with $50 to have fun. Plus she put money aside for Nova's diapers for the week. Best nanny ever!
Matt McCann calls Alex to report that his stint in rehab is coming to an end. He's doing really well, and when given the choice to either come home or go to a halfway house, he chose halfway house. He worries he'll fall right back in with the same crowd if he comes home too soon, however, he plans to use a day pass to visit Arabella on her birthday. Alex happily supports Matt's decisions.
Oh no. Say it isn't so! Teen Mom 2'sJenelle Evans spends so little time with her first son Jace, that I can only imagine what would happen should the train wreck reality star choose to procreate again. Bad decisions courtesy of MTV, don't you know!
We watched Jenelle drift in and out of horribly dysfunctional relationships and engagements while chasing Ke$ha, weed, and whoever could sell her a quick high. Several rehab stints, God awful tattoos and poor choices later, she's found the #loveofherlife. Sure she has! Purely speculation here, thanks to Jenelle's life playing out on social media, but do we think she could possibly be expecting again?
First, Farrah took to Twitter to fire her PR company, Wicked Creative, because they allegedly scammed her out of money.
Next, the former Teen Mom star celebrated Selfie Wednesday (is this really a thing?) with a revealing (holy lips, batman!) new picture. Then, Farrah showed off her new tattoo, which is dedicated to herself of course.
Last, Farrah tweeted seventeen tips for bloggers, adding, "It's eye opening to see when everyone tells you what they think and they end up all being wrong. #SORRYNOTSORRY #THEYDONTMATTER."
I can hardly wait for next week's lesson. Check out Farrah's pics below!