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Teen Mom

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This week on Teen Mom 3, Alex Sekella suffers a nervous breakdown, Katie Yeager longs for a fairytale ending, Briana DeJesus sits on her couch, and Mackenzie Douthit goes to prom. The episode somehow manages to be both boring (not feeling the girls yet) and exhausting (see: Alex). 

Mackenzie opens the show, reminding us that she's still just a junior in high school. Homework is not a priority but prom is right around the corner. Woot! Mackenzie asks Josh McKee if he wants to go with her, and as always, he "doesn't care." Good talk, Josh. Good. Talk. Mackenzie squeals with delight. 

Next Mackenzie shops for a prom dress with zero dollars (and fiance Josh is currently unemployed). Perhaps she should work on that homework a bit more. Math question: Mackenzie has $0. Pretty prom dresses cost $200. How many prom dresses can Mackenzie buy? Show your work. 

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Never a dull moment for Jenelle Evans and her men.  This week it's her beau Nathan Griffith in trouble with the law.  Nathan was arrested early this morning (2:18 a.m.) for DUI, resisting arrest, driving on the wrong side of the road, speeding in a reduced speed zone, disobeying an officer and oh yeah..driving on a suspended license!!  Happy early birthday to Nathan!

The reportedly sober couple had a night out that ended with a bang.  Here's the list from Nathan's arrest paperwork:

  • Resisting Arrest – No bail set
  • Driving Under Suspension – No bail set
  • Speeding in a Reduced Speed Zone – $133.50
  • Driving on Wrong Side of the Road – $237.50
  • DUI – Pretrial – No bail set
  • Disobeying a police officer – $315.00

Jenelle, of course, is denying the events of the evening on Twitter and via her "official PR rep" Twitter account. 

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The Teen Mom 3 cast – Alex Sekella, Briana DeJesus, Katie Yeager, and Mackenzie Douthit – met up in New York City this week to film a two-part Aftershow Special. Jenelle Evans keeps MTV very busy so we'll be lucky if we see this special before 2015.  Not that it matters.  Twitter keeps no secrets! 

For example, we know that Teen Mom 3 (forever ago) Mackenzie just giggled her way through getting an IUD, which lasts for five years, but Twitter (real time) Mackenzie is 4 months pregnant.  And TM3 Josh McKee looks bored as hell, but Twitter Josh just put a lasso ring on it

TM3 Devoin Austin just promised Briana that he'd be at her house day and night to help with Nova, but Twitter Devoin is in jail. How's that edit gonna taste, Devoin? Probably not as good as Swedish fish.

TM3 Matt McCann and Alex went to couples therapy last week, but Twitter Matt is engaged to some girl named Lekota. TM3 Joey Maes broke up with Katie because she nags endlessly, but Twitter Joey is, um, pulling a Rip Van Winkle? I don't see much from Joey or Katie.

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Sunday and Monday night viewer ratings are in! And unsurprisingly the holiday weekend put a little damper on reality TV guilty pleasures – especially if you happened to be doing a little equine therapy on Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The former ratings powerhouse for Bravo again took a hit with only 1.8 million viewers bothering to tune in – that's down majorly from last week! Listen – we have enough of our own family problems to continually focus on the Gorgadices! Keeping Up With The Kardashians continued to hold strong, although it took a slight hit dropping to 2.3 million viewers this week. 

Also taking a slight dip in ratings was Sister Wives (you mean Kody & Ko's parenting and marital advice wasn't a huge draw?!). Only 1.7 million viewers cared. Duck Dynasty - a repeat episode! - raked in 2.3 million viewers. 

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Teen Mom 3's Devoin Austin is in trouble with the law. Again.

Devoin, ex of Briana DeJesus, was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana in March. As a result, he was sentenced to one day in jail and one year of county supervised probation, he must hold a job, and he cannot "seek" or "possess" any illegal substances. 

Four months later, Devoin was arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and burglary earlier this week.

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Teen Mom 3 dad Matt McCann, ex-boyfriend of Alex Sekella, took to Twitter Monday night to announce his engagement to his girlfriend, Lekota Koch

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Matt and Lekota have been dating for a little over a year. 

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'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham shows off her bikini body in Fort Lauderdale wearing a skimpy Betty Bangs bikini

In honor of hump day – pun sooo intended – I'm bringing you this very special interview with Farrah Abraham. #WootWoot It truly highlights all the things we love about Farrah, including her nonsensical rambling, lack of self-awareness, and special brand of English.

The former Teen Mom star goes into the interview planning to promote Vivid Entertainment's new strip club, and she gets pissy when things go awry. No warm up here, folks!  The interviewer jumps right in,  asking Farrah how she plans to spend her porn money

Farrah's number one goal?  "Being smart."  Well, this interview is shot to hell already, huh? Oh, but there's so much more, like the fact that she still wants us to believe that James Deen was her boyfriend and the whole feminist-lesbian thing that trips her up.

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Teen Mom is back, y'all, and it's just as depressing as ever. 

Last week on Teen Mom 3 – aka Teen Baby Daddy DramaMackenzie Douthit failed to notice Josh McKee's obvious lack of interest, and Alex Sekella screamed at Matt McCann incessantly.

Also, Katie Yeager accepted Joey Maes's marriage proposal, and Briana DeJesus took legal action against Devoin Austin for cyber bullying.

Oh, and if you turned your TV at just the right angle and closed one eye, you saw the Teen Moms caring for their precious babies almost as passionately as they begged their boyfriends to love them. This week: rinse and repeat. 

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