I know I can be overly snarky, and I realize that sometimes my sarcasm is too much. However, I am being dead serious when I say that someone needs to intervene with poor Leah Shirley. The precious toddler has been the rope that Teen Mom'sAmber Portwood and Gary Shirley use to play their crazy game of tug-of-war, and it's so depressing. I don't doubt they both love their daughter with everything they have, but seriously, this is just too much.
The newest news from this pair stems from a "behind bars" interview that Amber gave to Dr. Drew Pinsky as she serves time for parole violations in an Indiana penitentiary. I mean, is this man even a real doctor? I saw a few episodes of "Loveline" back in the day, but should someone who used to pal around with Adam Corolla really be giving advice to incarcerated teenage mothers? What genius at MTV thought this was a good idea? These sad people aren't characters or cash cows, but yet…Sorry. I will step down from my soapbox now.
Personally, I thought the series finale and Dr. Drew's reunion special (part oneandpart two) were send off enough. However, despite the inevitable spin offs to come, somebody (starts with a 'm' and rhymes with 'teevee') isn't ready to cut the cord.
MTV has announced three new Teen Mom specials. Perhaps the most unexpected one, though, is a half-hour interview with Amber titled Amber Behind Bars: An MTV Special set to air on October 9!
MTV's press release:
In this exclusive half-hour interview, Dr. Drew sits down with Amber Portwood inside the Rockville Correctional Facility for an intimate discussion about what life has been like behind bars, the status of her relationship with her daughter Leah, ex-boyfriend Gary, and her family, and her hopes for the future. As Amber reflects on her situation, she gives viewers an open, honest look inside the intense ups and downs she’s faced during this journey.
Watch out, world! Farrah Abraham is getting a spin-off! I know, I know…I probably won't watch it either! After (finally) saying farewell to the original train wrecks ladies of MTV's Teen Mom, it appears that at least one of them won't be fading into obscurity just yet.
On the heels of that news, it seems that the only sane couple to come out of this mess will finally be walking down the aisle, as Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra are finally planning that wedding. Sadly, they sound just a delusional as their counterparts when it comes to saying "I do."
Part two brings us the rest of the original cast. Well, almost. Amber Portwood is still at summer camp. <wink, wink>
Maci and Ryan… Sitting in a Tree…
Before Dr. Drew obsesses about Maci Bookout andRyan Edwards living happily ever after, heasks Maci about college. She says, "I'm doing good now. After my first two years, I just realized how fast it was going by. I stopped making excuses. Aside from Bentley, that should be the most important thing." Maci adds she is done wasting her time and money. Also, she travels at least once a week to speak to teens about teen pregnancy.
When Dr. Drew glosses over Amber's absence, I know that this was taped a while back. I mean, "legal and personal issues" and "voluntary five-year prison term" aren't even in the same ballpark. If the "reunion show" isn't going to be taped in real time, I think it's kind of pointless.
Before we get into the meat and potatoes of the reunion, ha, who am I kidding? It's Dr. Drew. Let me start again.
Before we get into the limp lettuce and soggy potatoes of the reunion, Dr. Drew reminds us what happened this season on Teen Mom, as if it isn't already permanently burned into our brains. (I'll show you my scar tissue, if you show me yours.) Alas, the highlights…
Amber and Gary Shirley fight. Amber enters rehab after she threatens suicide. Rehab takes away Amber's fake eyelashes and spray tan but not her drugs. Amber goes home. Amber and Gary fight. Gary gets sole custody of Leah.
Catelynn and Tyler buy pens and notebooks for college. I guess they finally figured out their major crisis.
Catelynn and Tyler visit April and ask her where she stands with Butch. April is torn. She knows she should probably divorce him… but she still loves him. Tyler completely understands. In other news, Catelynn looks beautiful. Her hair and makeup are perfect.
In Farrah Abraham's memoir, the Teen Mom wrote about her relationship with Sophia's dad, Derek Underwood. Sadly, Derek passed away before Sophia was born, and now Farrah Abraham is blaming Derek for their troubled relationship in My Teenage Dream Ended.
Derek's mom Stormie Clark is not happy about Farrah's depiction of Derek.
StormietellsOK! Magazine, "Derek loved Farrah. He would have never laid a hand on her. They argued just like any normal teenage couple, but he was not the person that she is portraying him to be.”
Farrah hasn't kept in touch with Derek's family since his death. Stormie filed for visitation rights of Sophia, hoping to be a part of her granddaughter's life. As we saw last season on Teen Mom, Farrah was less than thrilled about the idea.