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Teen Mom

Last week on MTV‘s Teen Mom, we saw Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra graduate, Maci Bookout invite herself on the Edward’s family vacation with Bentley, Farrah Abraham adopt a puppy, and Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley contemplate the future of their relationship.

It was mind numbing – at best.

This week must be the Teen Mom beach special.  With the exception of Catelynn and Tyler, who are busy caring for their new bundle of joy, all of the crazy kids, plus adult Farrah, are at the beach.

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Teen Mom 2‘s Jenelle Evans and her on-again and off-again fiance Gary Head were both arrested over the weekend. Jenelle and Gary were partying with friends when they started to argue.  Witnesses claim the fight turned physical, with Gary hitting Jenelle several times.

Teen Mom Talk broke the news yesterday and millions sat in stunned silence across the nation.  Eh, not really.  Sadly, not much shocks us anymore when it comes to Jenelle Evans.

Gary was charged with assault on a female, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, and possession of a controlled substance,” Janelle’s attorney Dustin R.T. Sullivan tells Us Weekly. “A restraining order was put in place by the judge. Jenelle has already taken steps to try and protect herself from Gary.”

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Thankfully, Teen Mom wasn’t nearly as depressing this week. Last week’s premiere of Teen Mom was a train wreck.  This week, instead of weeping like a fool, I sat completely dumbfounded.   These girls have come so far yet have gone nowhere.  How is that possible? I spent the bulk of the hour resisting the urge to bang my own head against a wall.

At least the super adorable and maturing (someone has to, right?) toddlers bring a new aspect to the show.  Too bad we can’t just watch them and skip their parents.  Let’s pitch ‘Dr. Drew’s Daycare’ to MTV.

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Do the stars of  Teen Mom ever make any good decisions? Ever? Seriously… Anyway in the newest ridiculous story, Chelsea Houska allegedly has big plans to pose for Playboy!

Last week, RadarOnline reported that Chelsea’s brand new website, which she had hired a designer to build, had been shut down for unpaid bills. Chelsea denies that of course, tweeting:  ”I decided to not work with the person running it and obviously they’re a little butt hurt.”

Well now the spurned and looking for a check web designer is spilling some secrets about Chelsea – including that she is angling to be a centerfold!

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Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell definitely put those baby rumors to rest! The reality star has gone through a major weight loss!

Catelynn and her fiance Tyler Baltierra took to Twitter to show off her new slim figure!  Catelynn writes, “Ohhhh look at me now!!!” and Tyler gushed over her new figure, too.  Tyler posted the shot of her in the red tank top with “See her now! ‪#freakingloveher”.

Catelynn should be proud, she looks fantastic!  I wonder if she’ll share what successful plan she used to achieve her weight loss.  I’m thinking she did it the old fashion way – with diet and exercise.  Catelynn Tweeted that she’s been hitting the gym.  “At the gym! #feelingsexyandfree”.

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Amber Portwood has officially relocated to her new home for the next five years. Just one week after the final season of Teen Mom began airing, Amber checked in to the Indiana state prison where she will begin to serve out her five year sentence.

TMZ learned that Amber was transported from the local jail she had been housed in to the Rockville Correctional Facility yesterday morning. Amber opted to serve out the remainder of her sentence instead of returning to the court ordered drug rehabilitation program, citing that she was so depressed it caused another suicide attempt.

I’m not sure about her logic, as I can’t really think of anything more depressing than spending the next couple years in prison, but there’s many aspects of Amber’s judgement I wholeheartedly question!

This is terribly sad and hopefully Amber’s life will turn around.

THOUGHTS ON AMBER’S DECISION TO SERVE OUT HER PRISON SENTENCE?

It looks like we can cross off one of yesterday’s many baby bonanza  stories, and Catelynn Lowell can cross off one person from her “supposed BFF” list.

Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell tells Us Magazine that she is NOT expecting another baby, despite the claims of her “friend”,  Jamie Pyrzewski.

“Don’t believe everything you read, I’m definitely not pregnant.  I’m on the pill. And, I’m only 20–I don’t want to have kids until I’m out of school and we’re married.”

I have to admit, I’m relieved that the rumors were false.  Good for Catelynn for keeping her focus on school and their upcoming wedding.  This girl continues to impress.  She and Tyler Baltierra seem to be the ones with the best odds at achieving some sense of normalcy in their lives.

Photo credit: MTV

TELL US – DO YOU THINK CATELYNN HAS THE BEST CHANCE AT A NORMAL LIFE OUT OF ALL THE TEEN MOMS?

I just hit play on the first episode of the last season of the first Teen Mom.  Did you get all of that?  It’s bittersweet.  While I hardly think being on this show is healthy for Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham, Amber Portwood, or Catelynn Lowell, I’m going to miss the show.

I’m holding onto the knowledge that Barbara, Jenelle Evan’s always amusing mom, will be back on my TV soon enough on Teen Mom 2.  As long as I have Barbara in my life, I think I’ll be able to cope without Teen Mom.  If Teen Mom 2 ever is canceled, I’m going to need therapy to learn how to go on with my life. Take a deep breath, grab the tissues, and let’s start the beginning of the end.

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