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Teen Mom

Amber Portwood

So, the original Teen Mom will return next year, featuring Amber Portwood, Catelynn Lowell, and Maci Bookout. MTV claimed that the porn star turned stripper, Farrah Abraham, wasn’t asked to participate. (Poor Farrah, said no one.) I, for one, am not happy about this revival.

With Farrah out, only Amber‘s story interests me, but I wish she would’ve turned down the offer. In my opinion, the last thing Amber, who battled an addiction to pain killers, suffers from depression and bi-polar, and recently spent 17 months in prison, needs is MTV cameras following her every move.

Thankfully, Amber has maintained her sobriety since her release from prison in November, but it hasn’t been easy. She recently opened up about the lengths she has gone to avoid drugs, including the prescription medication she needs to control her depression and bi-polar disorder.

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Farrah Abraham

Farrah Abraham‘s not-so-shocking new job as a stripper was the highlight of my week last week. Um, errr, my work week. My life is not that sad. ;) Now the former Teen Mom star is bragging about being offered $544,000 to strip for Palazio Gentlemen’s Club in Austin, Texas, through December. 

Is Farrah laughing all the way to the bank or spewing more lies? I’m leaning towards liar, liar, pasties on fire!

In case you missed it, Farrah took the stripper job to research movie roles that do not yet exist. “It’s job shadowing that I hope pays off,” she said. “In the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper, that’s what I’m doing. It’s how I get the information to write my books and do my movies.”

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RHOC Lizzie Rovsek

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the Real Housewives of Orange County have two reasons to celebrate this week. Real Housewives of Orange County attracted over two million viewers for the first time this season, with 2.032 million tuning in to see Lizzie call out Tamra, and RHOC was the highest rated show currently airing on Bravo for two weeks in a row now.

Real Housewives of New Jersey saw a small but much needed increase in viewership, with 2.007 million watching to see how the terrible first responder’s party ended. RHOC‘s rising ratings pushed RHONJ into the #2 spot on Bravo’s lineup. The third and final part of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.305 million viewers, bringing its season average to 1.291 million.

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Teen Mom

It’s official – MTV finally confirmed that Teen Mom will be back next year sans Farrah Abraham. The other three, Amber PortwoodMaci Bookout, and Catelynn Lowell, are filming and looking forward to showing Teen Mom fans how much they’ve grown the past two years. As for Farrah’s absence, rumor has it that Amber, Maci, and Catelynn demanded the porn star be fired. You know, since they are such pillars of society.

But part of me is beginning to wonder if Farrah told MTV that she didn’t want to participate because filming Teen Mom would require – GASP! – spending time with her child. If you will recall, Sophia is living her own life, and Farrah is busy promoting her sex toys, opening a restaurant, pretending to write fiction books, gearing up for her first movie role, and working as a stripper. Where would she find the time to play mom for the cameras?

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Farrah Abraham stripper

Finally a position on Farrah’s resume full of lies and delusions that we can take seriously… Farrah Abraham has landed a job as a stripper. 

Of course, the former Teen Mom star is not a real stripper, silly. Just like she’s not a porn star. Farrah’s new stripper job at Palazio Gentlemen’s Club in Austin is nothing more than research for the erotic novels she’s not literate enough to write and the serious A-list movie roles she’s not yet been offered.

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Teen Mom stars Catelynn and Farrah

Ah, the miracle worker that is Dr. Jenn Berman has struck again. Not only did she cure Farrah Abraham on Couples Therapy, but now she has also ended the longtime feud between Farrah and her Teen Mom co-stars, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, on the Couples Therapy reunion. Gosh, is there anything that Dr. Jenn cannot do? #EyeRoll

Following the taping, Dr. Jenn tweeted, “All I am going to say is that last night’s Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn reunion was major. It airs September 3rd and it will not disappoint.” Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, Nik Richie and Shayne Lamas, and JoJo and Tiny Hailey participated in the reunion as well, but all of the gossip surrounding the taping is about the Teen Mom stars.

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Real Housewives of New York reunion

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and the second installment of the Real Housewives of New York reunion garnered 1.514 million viewers, while the Real Housewives of Orange County saw a season high with 1.974 million tuning in to see them travel to Bali. For reasons I will never understand, 2.367 million watched the most vapid person on the planet contemplate adoption on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. As if.

Dance Moms saw a tiny increase in viewership. 1.517 million watched Abby vs. Cathy, but that’s still a far cry from the pre-Kelly/Abby fight numbers.

Promise of a catty fight on Real Housewives of New Jersey attracted 1.753 million viewers, 903,000 Don’t Be Tardy fans watched the Biermann Bunch go to Florida, and a new headache-inducing episode of Teen Mom 2 garnered 1.774 million viewers. Game of Crowns lost nearly 200,000 viewers. For most shows, that would not be a big deal, but to go from 618,000 viewers last week to 419,000 viewers this week is just terrible.

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Teen Mom Tyler Catelynn baby

It’s official now - Teen Mom couple Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell are expecting a baby. Catelynn shared a picture of her baby bump on Instagram yesterday, confirming what we have believed to be true for three months now.

Family spilled the news way back in May. I never doubted it because Catelynn and Tyler had revealed plans to start a family – their daughter Carly, 5, was placed for adoption at birth – and neither Catelynn nor Tyler denied the news.

At the time, Catelynn tweeted, “I am an adult and I can tell when I’m ready and idc what ANYONE says I’m gonna do me! We ARE READY for a baby. #HatersGonnaHate” and Tyler tweeted, “Yeah I want a baby, so what!? I have been through enough in my life to understand the wisdom it takes to make this decision. #BackOff #IDGAF”. So mature, right?

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