Last week on the Bachelorette, Emily Maynard said goodbye to Travis Pope (egg guy) and Ryan Bowers (sweet talker) in Croatia. This week, Emily wants us to believe she handles her own luggage as she and the remaining suckers suitors head to Prague. Chris Harrison meets the men in Prague to remind them this is the the last set of dates before the hometown dates. Also, he explains how this week is going to go down. There will be three one-on-one dates and one group date. There will be a rose up for grabs on the group date but not on the one-on-one dates.
The six remaining bachelors are Arie Luyendyk Jr., John Wolfner, Chris Bukowski, Doug Clerget, Jef Holm, and Sean Lowe. The first date goes to Arie. The date card reads, “Let’s Czech out Prague together.” Emily’s date outfit is interesting – knee-high boots, Ricki’s bedazzled shorts, button up shirt that she forgot to finish buttoning, and a suit jacket. Out of the blue, Emily lets us know she knows something about Arie but he doesn’t know she knows. Very soon after this revelation it’s painfully obvious that Emily is going to resort to passive aggressive hints for most of the date rather than talking to Arie about what she knows. Very mature, Emily.
Wait, what?! It’s true. Cheryl Burke has her heart set on being the Bachelorette.
Does Cheryl Burke really need another reality show to meet men? She’s a pretty girl with a fish pond full of HOT male dancers and a constantly changing cast of stars on Dancing with the Starsat her disposal. She says, YES!
Ali Fedotowsky‘s ex-fiancé Roberto Martinez is rumored to be the next Bachelor. With Roberto and his delicious dimples getting so much attention, is former Bachelor and Bachelorette star Ali also hoping for another chance? Returning to the show isn’t out of the question. Brad Womack recently gave it another try. He’s still single and now we’re stuck with the yawn-fest that is Emily Maynard, but he tried. Will Ali follow Brad’s example and return to the show?
“I don’t think so – at least, not in the near future. I think it’s way too soon for something like that. So not right now, no,” she tells Wetpaint. So, that’s a no to the Bachelorette (for now). Ali‘s single and ready to mingle though!! Ali says, “I’m single right now. I’ve actually been single this entire time, despite what you may have heard! I’ve been on one or two semi-dates…I’m not even sure you would call them actual dates. But I’m ready. I’m ready!”
This week on The Bachelorette, Emily Maynard and her minions are in Croatia. The previews suggest that Ryan Bowers is the punching bag of the week. Also, we should expect lots of kissing and some drama at the rose ceremony. Could it be? Really for real – the most shocking rose ceremony ever?!?
According to Jef Holm, Croatia is the perfect place to fall in love. I beg to differ. I met my (now) husband at Wal-Mart 16 years ago, and he’s been wooing me ever since. Croatia vs. Wal-Mart – really, it’s no contest. The always-classy Wal-Mart wins, right? If Emily insists on making it complicated, we might as well see what Croatia has to offer.
Emily surprises the guys by hand delivering the first date card. It goes to Travis Pope and reads, “Let’s look for love beyond the walls.” Travis was engaged once before. He says, “When it didn’t work out, it was the lowest point in my life.” Lower than befriending an ostrich egg and naming it Shelly? Wow. That must have been really low.
Bachelor Pad returns on July 23 on ABC! Which The Bachelor and The Bachelorette rejects will get a second (third, fourth, fifth) chance at finding true love on reality TV? Ha, only if you’re Holly Durst and Blake Julian. More than likely, this ego-heavy cast is more interested in hooking up and collecting the cash prize of $250,000. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like my TV to be dirty and not too deep.
New twist this season – six hand-selected super fans of the franchise will join the Bachelor Pad fun. Fresh meat!!
Perhaps one of the most self-absorbed contestants is none other than Emily Maynard‘s pariah Kalon McMahon. Kalon, the luxury brand consultant whose preferred mode of transportation is a helicopter, got himself kicked to the curb this week after referring to Emily’s daughter as budget-basement baggage. The comment brought out Emily’s West Virginia hood rat backwoods side, which is the most exciting thing to happen all season. If Kalon can bring personality out of Emily, I’m all for his presence on the Bachelor Pad!
Emily Maynard is engaged! The last man standing proposed to The Bachelorette just after midnight on May 11. He reportedly put a 4-carat Neil Lane diamond ring worth roughly $90,000 on her finger! ABC filmed the final rose ceremony on the Caribbean island Curaçao.
An insider tells Life & Style, “It was truly a one-of-a-kind fairy-tale experience for her.”
The average Bachelor/Bachelorette engagement normally ends sometime between the most dramatic proposal ever and the most dramatic after the rose ever. Will Emily and her man beat the odds? The source says, “Emily is still happy and engaged. She is ecstatic. She’s over the moon and loves her ring.” So far, so good.
No word on WHO the lucky fella is, but many believe it could be Arie Luyendyk, Jr. With the Arie love, though, comes the Arie controversy.
There are ten bachelors left on ABC’s wildly successful entertaining The Bachelorette. This week, the guys score a free trip to London. Yes, Emily Maynard is there too, as there’s always a catch. The guys are checking out the scenery when the first date card comes into play. The one-on-one date goes to Sean Lowe. Date card reads, “Love takes no prisoners.” Emily and Sean tour London. Sean speaks to the people of London about love. Sean is my favorite bachelor thus far; however, this date is dreadfully boring. The date card should have read, “Emily brings the history lesson while Sean brings the pretty.”
The group date card arrives. It reads, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” The mushroom farmer is the first to connect this quote to Shakespeare. I don’t know the rate at which mushrooms grow, so he might have a lot of free time in the fields to read tragic tales such as Romeo and Juliet. Or, a producer might have written the answer on his hand. The group date goes to…
Finally, The Bachelorette puts the viewer’s need for travel porn above Emily Maynard’s need to keep her daughter Ricki close to home. We’re off to Bermuda! I hope beautiful sandy beaches mean beautiful shirtless men.
The first date card goes to Doug Clerget. It reads, “Let our senses lead the way.” Doug remembers there’s a rose on the one-on-one dates. The guys talk about how much it would suck to come all the way to Bermuda only to have to go right back home. They’re right, that would suck, but probably not as much as a lifetime with Emily.
I know, I know, America’s sweetheart, search for true love, and all that jazz. Let’s just agree to compare notes come mid-July. This season is going to be a smashing success of a love story just to spite me, isn’t it?