Bachelor Pad returns on July 23 on ABC! Which The Bachelor and The Bachelorette rejects will get a second (third, fourth, fifth) chance at finding true love on reality TV? Ha, only if you’re Holly Durst and Blake Julian. More than likely, this ego-heavy cast is more interested in hooking up and collecting the cash prize of $250,000. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I like my TV to be dirty and not too deep.
New twist this season – six hand-selected super fans of the franchise will join the Bachelor Pad fun. Fresh meat!!
Perhaps one of the most self-absorbed contestants is none other than Emily Maynard‘s pariah Kalon McMahon. Kalon, the luxury brand consultant whose preferred mode of transportation is a helicopter, got himself kicked to the curb this week after referring to Emily’s daughter as budget-basement baggage. The comment brought out Emily’s West Virginia hood rat backwoods side, which is the most exciting thing to happen all season. If Kalon can bring personality out of Emily, I’m all for his presence on the Bachelor Pad!
Emily Maynard is engaged! The last man standing proposed to The Bachelorette just after midnight on May 11. He reportedly put a 4-carat Neil Lane diamond ring worth roughly $90,000 on her finger! ABC filmed the final rose ceremony on the Caribbean island Curaçao.
An insider tells Life & Style, “It was truly a one-of-a-kind fairy-tale experience for her.”
The average Bachelor/Bachelorette engagement normally ends sometime between the most dramatic proposal ever and the most dramatic after the rose ever. Will Emily and her man beat the odds? The source says, “Emily is still happy and engaged. She is ecstatic. She’s over the moon and loves her ring.” So far, so good.
No word on WHO the lucky fella is, but many believe it could be Arie Luyendyk, Jr. With the Arie love, though, comes the Arie controversy.
There are ten bachelors left on ABC’s wildly successful entertaining The Bachelorette. This week, the guys score a free trip to London. Yes, Emily Maynard is there too, as there’s always a catch. The guys are checking out the scenery when the first date card comes into play. The one-on-one date goes to Sean Lowe. Date card reads, “Love takes no prisoners.” Emily and Sean tour London. Sean speaks to the people of London about love. Sean is my favorite bachelor thus far; however, this date is dreadfully boring. The date card should have read, “Emily brings the history lesson while Sean brings the pretty.”
The group date card arrives. It reads, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” The mushroom farmer is the first to connect this quote to Shakespeare. I don’t know the rate at which mushrooms grow, so he might have a lot of free time in the fields to read tragic tales such as Romeo and Juliet. Or, a producer might have written the answer on his hand. The group date goes to…
Finally, The Bachelorette puts the viewer’s need for travel porn above Emily Maynard’s need to keep her daughter Ricki close to home. We’re off to Bermuda! I hope beautiful sandy beaches mean beautiful shirtless men.
The first date card goes to Doug Clerget. It reads, “Let our senses lead the way.” Doug remembers there’s a rose on the one-on-one dates. The guys talk about how much it would suck to come all the way to Bermuda only to have to go right back home. They’re right, that would suck, but probably not as much as a lifetime with Emily.
I know, I know, America’s sweetheart, search for true love, and all that jazz. Let’s just agree to compare notes come mid-July. This season is going to be a smashing success of a love story just to spite me, isn’t it?
Nobody goes on Bachelor Pad to fall in love and meet their soul mate. Nope, they show up to win money. Well sometimes things don’t go as planned, because this Saturday Bachelor Pad alums Holly Durst and Blake Julian tied the knot!
The couple said “I do” in front of 115 guests at the The Cliffs country club in South Carolina. Holly wore an Alfred Angelo gown, which according to Us Weekly featured: “A dramatic sweetheart neckline, draped bodice (which she customized with a sash), tufted skirt and a sweep train.”
“I couldn’t be happier with my Alfred Angelo wedding dress! It was really hard to choose because there were so many beautiful choices, but I knew I found my dream dress the moment I put it on!,” Holly gushed.
It’s your daily dose of Bachelorette with a heaping side of Harrison…add some Bachelor Pad for dessert sprinkled with just the right amount of hook ups, implants, and shame. Let’s dig in, shall we?
The always lovely and good-natured Chris Harrison, host of all three train wrecks love quests, opened up to The Huffington Post about his favorite couples through the years. He reveals, “Trista and Ryan [Sutter] were just lightning in a bottle. I don’t know if we’ll ever capture anything like that again. That one will always stand out.” The couple was the first of the franchise to actually wed (on television, of course), and now they have two children together.
Another of Chris’ favorite love birds were our current Bachelorette Emily Maynard and two-time BachelorBrad Womack. He tells the site, “I felt like the two of them were meant to be and it was gonna work. When they broke up, I was really sad.” Well, you certainly know if you’re tuning into this season that Em has stolen Chris Harrison’s heart along with those of her suitors.
“Everybody’s had this appetite for her,” Chris continues. “She’s so contagious. You just want to care for her, you want to root for her, you want her to do well, and that really makes for a perfect Bachelorette. When her name came up [to be the next Bachelorette], we started bantering about and it was a unanimous home run. It’s very rare that it’s unanimous.”
Emily Maynard finally interacts with the “dro” twins, Alejandro and Allesandro, on episode 3 of The Bachelorette. One was definitely worth the wait. In fact, if I get my way, the star of The Bachelor season 17 was born tonight. More on that later. First, we must pick through the drab to get to the awesome.
Speaking of drab, my Tupperware has more personality than Emily Maynard does. You know what I mean, those bowls that have red sauce forever microwaved into their souls and lids that come out of the dishwasher melted and deformed. Emily did show some more spunk this week; however, she has hardly any inflection in her voice and that makes it hard to care about what she has to say. And, I’m not sure how much of it is real “spunk” and how much of it is “entitled princess.” Tupperware = oozing personality. Emily = mostly dispensing “golly” and “y’all,” hair smoothing, and teeth licking.
Last week, yet another cycle of the ABC-sponsored divorce competition The Bachelorette premiered, this time with Emily Maynard, the former fiancee of 2011 Bachleor, Brad Womack. Brad claims he wasn’t one of the thousands watching and snarking on Emily’s quest for love amongst people who desperately want to be on television, but I’m doubtful.
In an interview with local channel ABC 13, Brad says, “All I’ll say is she is a helluva woman and I hope it works out. I have no interest [in watching].” Maybe Brad prefers DVR or reading the live tweets of the show. I just have a hard time believing anyone wouldn’t watch a television show featuring their ex, especially one he broke up with so relatively recently. Just admit it, Brad!