Last night on Manzo’d With Children Mother’s Day was celebrated with a throwback photoshoot, Albie and Chris still pretended they don’t have jobs, and Lauren decided to never leave home again. Actually they barely leave the kitchen… what is happening in the rest of that house!?
Caroline Manzo is stressed. First Chrissofart left mommy and is now debauched in Hoboken. Now Lauren, about to be married to Vito the living incandescence of an Al-flavored mozzarella ball, wants to MOVE. OUT. Caroline cannot have this.
Caroline tries to convince Lauren that she and Vito should just stay at home to save their money, because Caroline is not giving them a downpayment on a house – only utilities in her house! This is what passes for responsibility in Manzo-land? Shouldn’t Lauren already have savings given that she’s been living with her mother her entire life? Caroline would prefer they make the ‘smart choice’ to live with her until they can afford to buy a nice (re: luxury) instead of living someplace dumpy (see: Crissofart’s apartment).
But Vito doesn’t want to live with Ma and Pa Smothers, he wants the freedom to show his love to Lauren and admits to his fiancé that he wouldn’t feel comfortable “in the bedroom” living at her mother’s. Does Lauren care what Vito thinks or wants? #RhetoricalQuestion.
It was likely a double celebration as Amber finished her last round of radiation a few weeks ago. At the time, she toasted the occasion with a friend, writing “Last day of radiation. A little celebratory wine with my girlfriend @constantina2015 ! #rhonj #friends #fucancer.”
Happy Anniversary to Joe and Melissa Gorga! Today the couple celebrates 11 years of poison injections!
Melissa shared a special message to her beloved via instagram about their marriage. “And in the blink of an eye it’s been 11 years Happy Anniversary @joeygorga You’ve put me on a pedestal since day 1. I love you more than I can say #myheart.”
Kimadded, “THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! This is the text I got from my boss this morning!! Tears were streaming down my face feeling soooo blessed, so grateful! I love you guys!! #ThankYouGod #ThankYouToAllMyFans #Celebrate”
So apparently not a soul in New Jersey is currently in the market for a shore house swathed in the scent of Bain de Soleil, moscato, and Joe Giudice’s sweat and failure. I know…I’m as shocked as y’all are. However, we’ll just chalk it up to yet another financial scar on the credit report of the Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Juiciest duo.
With the table-flipping, Italian-cooking, Fabellini-swilling Teresa Giudice behind bars for fraud–and Joe entering the clink once his wife serves her sentence–those owed copious amounts of cash thanks to the reality pair’s shady dealings are trying to recoup what little of their investments are left. Most recently, the beach house the Giudice clan called their weekend getaway was part of a foreclosure sale. Who was lucky enough to score the keys to such a special piece of reality television history? Welp….
Back in July, Andy Cohenclaimed to have no knowledge of rumors that Joe and family were in talks with Bravo about filming a special. Regarding the series happening, Andy slyly evaded, “If it is, I have nothing to do with it.” Hmmm. Is Andy taking lessons from the Giudices’ lawyer about building a solid defense? Deny, deny, deny.
Andy said the number one question he got for Caroline was… would she ever return to Real Housewives of New Jersey? She said, “No.” Caroline said to Andy, “We’ve had this conversation. You’re better to answer that question than me.” Andy joked, “You always add a lot of zeros to it [the pay she’d accept].”
Albie lives at home again and has now gotten involved in the cannabis business. Which basically means he’s the jerk you crushed on in high school who was popular and hot, but turned into a burnout loser. Vengeance for all of us. Caroline describes Albie as a Type-A perfectionist … so he’s perfecting the art of mooching? She’s delusional.