Last night was the second installment of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion. I don’t want to go into the stupidness that is stupid Teresa Giudice and her stupid financial nonsense and stupid decisions that made her go to jail. I mean damn, read what you sign, ask questions if you don’t understand – hello!
The most laughable comment from the whole reunion was Teresa trying to convince us that she’s usually a very conscientious-y type of person who “always dots her ‘I’s and crosses her ‘T’s.” First of all, she knows two letters in the alphabet? Bet they were both used a lot in the PLEA AGREEMENT Teresa didn’t read, but signed. Second of all, if you were a routine “i” dotter or a “t” crosser you’d not get indicted for bankruptcy fraud or sign fake W-2s because you’d actually make sure the people you hire, like your accountant, are doing their jobs! And finally – I’m frankly surprised Teresa was able to use that expression correctly. I would fully expect her to say something like “I’m the type-a person who crosses eyes and dots my teacup, with you know, fabulicious teas – coming soon!”
Let’s just say this, Denial is the longest river in New Jersey. The river of denial flows right out of Melissa Gorga‘s $3.8 million Montville mansion (where they had the big ol’ plumbing disaster and the leaky pipes and the plastic sink) and it roars down the hill into the chicken coops of Teresa and Joe’s purloined marble encrusted converted trailer, built at the base of Mount Tackiola. Now for sale, delusion included in purchase price!
Are my eyes deceiving me?!? Has Amber Marchese written her shortest Real Housewives of New Jersey blog of the season? Yes, I think she has. Thank you, Jesus! In the blog, Amber schooled us about what happens at a reunion, questioned whether or not Dina Manzo has a heart, defended her use of “The Cancer” ad nauseam, and sided with Jacqueline Laurita in the messy Laurita/ Manzo family feud.
“Hello Housewife friends,” exclaimed Amber. “Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was ‘The Great Purge’ and when I went home I felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some.”
Dina and Jacqueline have already spent oodles and oodles of time telling us how they feel on twitter, through the haze of wine and cat hair, each of them accuses the other of lying. Unfortunately 140 characters (even when you tweet over and over again!) just isn’t enough. I do wish we could limit wine and delusion in the same manner we limit twitter type-age, although it’s usually user-abuse that causes the issues (i.e. tweeting constantly.).
Now, the reality star has found another avenue to raise both money and awareness for children with autism. It was recently announced that Jacqueline will be the celebrity spokesperson for ROXO’s Holiday box sets.
Jacqueline Laurita wasn’t able to attend the season six Real Housewives of New Jerseyreunion, so she took to Twitter to share her thoughts on the topics as it aired. Ugh. Raise your hand if you’re shocked. “Not on the reunion but I’ll probably tweet during it,” she tweeted before the show. Probably? HAHAHA!
Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!
Caroline Manzo and Michelle Williams were the guests in the clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live last night and of course Caroline was asked a lot of questions relating to the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion episode that aired right before her appearance.
First up, Andy shows the ladies Gia Giudices’s girl group’s music video (a cover of Britney Spears’ Circus) and Michelle says it’s not a big thing and Caroline says it’s at the cusp of not being okay but it’s not bad. Note: we at first opted not to share the video when it released on Friday because of Gia’s age and other factors, but since it’s now a part of the WWHL episode, we’ll share it below..with the warning that you can bash Teresa Giudice’s parenting all you want, but any nasty comments about Gia or name calling directed at Gia will be deleted and will not be debated by our moderator.
Andy next shows Caroline footage of Teresa from part 1 of the reunion where she says she never hit below the belt. Caroline says “of course she hit below the belt, we all hit below the belt. Just admit that you hit below the belt. We saw it. There’s no denying what we see.”
Caroline on Teresa’s comments that she doesn’t miss Jacqueline: “I think she’s trying to project that she doesn’t care, but it’s clear that she does care. she gets emotional when she reads her texts, she can’t talk about it, she gets teary eyed, so I think she does care but doesn’t want to say it.”