Real Housewives of New Jersey

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Following the premiere of Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In, Joe Giudice and Joe Gorga were Andy Cohen‘s guests on Watch What Happens Live.

Filed under “Truly Horrifying Thoughts,” Andy admits he recently dreamed that Teresa Giudice was the Vice President of the United States. <whole body shudder> “I emailed her, and she said, ‘You know, you never know. Your dream might come true.'”

Andy tells Joe that Teresa plans to watch the show from prison (how nice) and asks if he wants to say anything to her. “Hello, baby, I love you,” he says. “You know what your brother asked me to do before we came on?! He told me to kiss him. I told him to kiss my ass.” 

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Well, folks, the controversial three-part series catching up with the Giudice family since Teresa Giudice’s January incarceration is here. Who’s watching? Since we here at RT pledge to bring you the latest reality news – whatever that news may be – we’ll be recapping the Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In each week. Admittedly, this series has a lot of us questioning just how far Bravo will go to expose/support/capitalize on the misdeeds and fallout of Joe and Teresa’s crimes, as well as the sad after-effects these crimes have had on their four daughters: Gia (14), Gabriella (10), Milania (9), and Audriana (5). So, let’s take a look at how this all shakes out…

In our first shot, we’re told the series was filmed six months into Teresa’s prison sentence. Joe, who is currently without a driver’s license (due to previous suspension) counts on his side of the family to help out with the bulk of carting his daughters around, and for emotional support. As he prepares breakfast for the girls, Milania steps in to cooks the sausages. Joe says this has been the hardest year of his life with the passing of his father and Teresa’s imprisonment. He thinks Teresa is proud of his efforts at home, though, because if not, she would have probably sent him divorce papers by now.

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Gia Giudice Talks Teresa & Joe In Prison on ET

14-year-old Gia Giudice, the eldest of Teresa and Joe Giudice‘s 4 daughters, is very aware of all the changes taking place in her life. As her mother prepares to return home from a year-long prison stint, Gia’s father Joe prepares to ‘go away’ to federal prison for 41 months. Following that Joe could face deportation as he is not a US Citizen. 

“It could be worse,” acknowledges Gia; trying to keep a positive attitude. “My mom doesn’t want me or anyone to get emotional, so I try my best just to keep it all together.” 

Unfortunately for Gia the reality goes beyond reality TV, but unfortunately all has been filmed for Real Housewives Of New Jersey and their upcoming spinoff Teresa Checks In which chronicles how the family is coping while Teresa is spending her lock up wiping down tables and emailing (but not reading!). 

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Joe Giudice On The Today Show

Teresa Giudice is behind bars, but Joe Giudice is on the outside maintaining the family’s bread and butter: reality TV. With their spinoff, Teresa Checks In, airing this Sunday on Bravo, Joe shared how the family is coping while the Real Housewives Of New Jersey star serves time and also opened up about how unfair Teresa’s consequences are. 

In an in-depth interview Joe did with Today’s Tamron Hall, he admits that he “absolutely” feels guilty that Teresa is in prison. “I was to blame,” he says adamantly.

However, in addition blaming himself for Teresa’s incarceration, Joe blames the courts! “I took full responsibility for everything, but they still put her away.” 

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Manzo'd With Children - Albie & Chris With Pot

Last night on Manzo’d With Children Bravo’s bootleg version of Cheech & Chong traveled to Colorado for a “Cannabis Tour.” 

Businessman eccellenza Albie Manzo is marketing his grow-fast plant spray but business is “all about relationships.” Apparently spuriously calling pot growers from the phone in mommy’s craft room does not gain one customers. 

Therefore Albie heads to Colorado with No. 1 sidekick Christopher. If you, in your mind, were imagining escapades, prepare to be disappointed. There were neither debaucherous hi-jinks, actual drug use, or attractive men boys. 

Christopher envisioning that weed distributors are much like Tony Montana is bringing mace and a rape whistle. Albie tells Caroline not to worry: “If you ever want to see me get out of this house, this trip is my opportunity.” As Albie utters these ominous words, the beginning chords of The Beastie Boy’s ‘SABOTAGE’ starts playing in my head. Because… Newsflash! Caroline doesn’t ever want to see Albie leave her nest. Which is why he’s still eating off a monogrammed placemat and storing his sweaters in his childhood toy box. 

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Teresa Giudice offered big bucks for post prison interview

Teresa Giudice is still serving her prison sentence, after being convicted of fraud over one year ago, and while she’s been locked up, her husband Joe has had to take care of the household. That includes making the money, which is why Joe and the kids will be seen in their own spin-off very soon. But just because she’s in the slammer, doesn’t mean that Teresa hasn’t been thinking about her next paycheck.

In fact, rumors have been buzzing for some time about whether or not Giudice would be heading back to The Real Housewives of New Jersey once she is released. But it appears that is not all that Giudice has been planning – she’s also planning to do a post prison interview. And in typical Giudice fashion, she is also planning to cash in big time for the interview!

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Teresa Giudice

The closer we get to the premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In, the more I expect to hear about Teresa Giudice. But a “throwback” confession from Lisa Lampanelli, while hilarious, isn’t quite what I had in mind.

Lisa Lampanelli’s Greatest Story Ever Told:

“You may remember I did this show – this little show on a major network – called The Celebrity Apprentice,” said Lisa. “The year that I did it, it was definitely, because of me, called Celebrity Fight Club because I hated everyone. What makes it worse for the women celebrities is that we have to spend two hours in hair and makeup every day because we look so bedraggled. One morning, like six weeks into the show, I am super tired and at 4 a.m. my makeup artist comes in and she goes, ‘Lisa, listen to this, everyone in wardrobe is saying Teresa – From the Real Housewives, who was also on the show with me. You know, the one in jail now. – is definitely pregnant because her stomach appears to be getting bigger.’ I’m like, ‘I need to investigate this because I need to be in on all the tea, honey.'”

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Lauren Manzo's

Last night on Manzo’d With Children there were bachelorette shenanigans in Atlantic City, the less classy red-headed stepchild of Vegas. Apparently Adrienne Maloof is no longer doling out free passes to The Palms. 

With Lauren Manzo‘s wedding to the human lump of smothered ricotta known as Vito Scalia approaching, her bros without hoes Albie and Christopher decide they should be in charge of the “send-off” so they whisk Lauren away to Atlantic City for a “Snatchelor Party.” There they hide her away from Vito for the sanctity of family unity.

The idea for “Snatchelor” is hatched when Chris and Albie are excluded from Lauren’s official girls-only bachelorette. Hosted by Greggy Bennett. Naturally he has corralled a party bus to escort this fine delegation in style. Apparently L.A. does not hold all the fascinations of a Manzo fambly event. 

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