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Real Housewives of New Jersey

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For all of you hoping for a newer, classier, gentler Real Housewives of New Jersey, it ain't gonna happen! Apparently following last year's reunion and an off-season of being accused of things she didn't do, Teresa Giudice intends to make this season her act of vengeance! 

Teresa has been watching V For Vendetta (or Days Of Our Lives) and practicing her wordsmithing so she can really go to battle against her family and former friends, who she believes have trashed her and dragged her through the mud unnecessarily. 

Teresa is not going to take any shit from her family members!" a source tells RadarOnline. "She felt like everyone ganged up on her last season and she has been dishing it out herself so far this season.” Oh god…  I really do need to watch this show under the influence of sedatives, because I'm not sure I can take it. 

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Have any of you been missing Dina Manzo since she bid farewell to Real Housewives of New Jersey?  Well, fear not, because she's back…and her name is now Alessandra DiGiacomo.  That's right!  Dina's an actress now, y'all!

I'm actually really excited about this news.  Following in the footsteps of Real Housewives of Atlanta's NeNe Leakes, Dina has landed a role on an upcoming scripted dramedy.  The series, called Tainted Dreams, portrays the drama among soap opera actors behind-the-scenes of their daily stories (was my grandmother the only one who called soap operas her "stories"?).  How very Melrose Place of Dina!

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Oh good lord, after two seasons of the same exact nonsense – and even the same exact feuds – on Real Housewives of New Jersery, Bravo isn't bothering to change the storyline on one of it's biggest cashcows. Please let the ratings suck. I swear this feud is fake and only generated for ratings. 

RadarOnline is reporting that Kim D is behind some more drama this season when her jewelry party proved to be the stomping ground for some Gorga sibling nonsense! Of course Kim D has a jewelry line (Why?!) and of course Kim D is behind the set-up of inviting both Poison Gorga and Teresa Giudice to the same event. Does Kim get a producer credit? She must be a mole who doubles as both a player and producer, amirite? 

I mean why would Kim D invite supposed enemy Melissa Gorga if not for the express purpose of creating a toxic venue perfect for squabbling. #transparent Most people outgrow bickering with their siblings – apparently NOT the Gorgas! Can we get Super Nanny involved?

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New Jersey is a small, small world!  Last night was the premiere party of the new season of Jerseylicious and it brought out other famous faces from Jersey-based reality shows! 

Real Housewives of New Jersey star (and daughter of Jacqueline Laurita for those not in the know), Ashlee Holmes hung out at the soiree.  Ashlee dished on season 5 filming and pined for the easy breezy days of season 1, and even posed for photos with former drama-starter Kim Granatell, now starring on The New Jersey Socialites

Tom Murro had a chance to chat with Ashlee, who shared that she's still living and working in L.A., but has been home in NJ since the holidays – possibly to do some filming for the new season. 

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Oh we love petty, don't we? After trying to glom onto Teresa Giudice's fitness/health empire by allegedly producing her own exercise videoMelissa Gorga is now trying to one-up Teresa's cooking. 

Is this intentional? Is she trying to give the copycat accusation credence to drum up publicity for the show?

Here's what happened. Yesterday Teresa took to twitter to post about meatballs – and as we all know meatballs are a sore subject (and one of hot debate) on Real Housewives of New Jersey!

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Real Housewives of New Jersey resident beefcake slash Jersey Juicehead Joe Gorga stopped by Sizzle Tans yesterday and strikes a pose to show off his buff bod. 

I wonder if this is in preparation of their new workout DVD? Give us your best captions! 

P.S. Thank goodness for all those muscles – they'll come in handy when fending off wildlife!

UPDATED with more photos – including Melissa Gorga and a hilarious video from back in 2010 of former spokesperson Teresa Giudice

Photo credit: Manny Carabel via Tom Murro

click for more photos!

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The wilderness is invading Real Housewives of New Jersey – and I'm not talking about a rampaging Teresa Giudice

Today Melissa Gorga announced on twitter that she met a furry little bear friend in her driveway. Melissa survived unscathed.

They have bears in the suburbs? Is that like you can't rent Chanel?

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Good thing the Gorgas are moving to a bear-free neighborhood soon. Right?

[Photo Credit: Twitter]

TELL US – MELISSA AND THE BEAR: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

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Perhaps Teresa and Joe Giudice are getting all their sex out of the way just in case Joe does time in the slammer, but whatever the case the Real Housewives of New Jersey star dishes to Star Magazine that Joe just can't keep his hands off of her or other women allegedly.

“My secret to a great marriage is to make sure you give it to him every night,” Teresa advises. 

TERESA TELLS BRIDES HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIGE! 

She elaborates: “My husband is always poking me in bed, and I think, ‘Can’t I have a night off?’” Never missing an opportunity to plug her product – like a good little Bravo minion – Teresa claims her Fabellini wine is the perfect aphrodisiac! 

“It gets me in the mood, and Joe just shows up." Thank you for that vomit inducing visual and now I need to go get my mind erased. 

[Photo Credit: Twitter]

TELL US – SEXYTIMES WITH JOE AND TERESA: DO WE NEED TO KNOW?

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