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Real Housewives of New Jersey

Oh, Teresa Giudice. Didn't your very sweet mama ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, zip it? I'm guessing that old-fashioned adage came before the era of reality TV! In the days following the first installment of the circus of crazy known as the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion, all eyes are on the ladies as they scramble to defend their deplorable behavior. 

In a Bravo blog I'm suuuuure she wrote herself, Teresa sorta, maybe, kinda, a little bit takes accountability while also pointing fingers at others. Just to be fair – all the ladies are behaving similarly! Let's get this started. 

"Like every Housewife in every city, I think filming the reunion is one of the worst parts of our job. It's a long, long day, it always gets ugly, it's hard to sit through and even harder to watch. At least this year I knew what I was walking into: I knew the other cast members, even my family, were going to band together to bash me. Last year was a total shock. This year was just sickening and sad."

"They're so desperate to make me look bad. Here's the thing: I don't care. I know who I am and I don't need to prove it to any of them. And I'm certainly not going to waste my off-camera, family time looking up words in the dictionary and making obsessive lists about them."

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It seems that almost everyday there's a little buzz about which city will be hosting the next round of Bravo insanity with its own set of overly catty, surgically enhanced, and Botoxed to the hilt drama queens…marriage license preferred but certainly not required. 

While the Bravo cash cow has women fighting each other in franchises all over the country, one rumor has been consistent for a while.  Could Bravo be heading to the homeland of Eden and Cruz (yeah, I went there!) to film the next installment?  With the original Real Housewives of Orange County still bringing in the ratings and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills still bringing the most-talked about dramatics, wouldn't it make sense to go back to Cali for the next batch of crazy? 

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'Andy! Andy! Andy! Your mom's a liar, your dad's a coward, and I slept with them both – and Juicy, bitch! bleeep, bleeepetey, bleeep, bl-bleeep, bleep, c-word.' Oh was this Jerry Springer we watched last night or Real Housewives of New Jersey? I really couldn't tell because it was so embarrassing, disgusting, and low-brow. 

Whatever happened last night, I am fed up. And I am incredibly horrified by the behavior I witnessed. There was once a time – long before many of you wee youngins were around – when grown women who were also possessors of the title "Housewives" behaved like grown women on TV.

And then this stuff started happening and the bottom dropped out. But to draw it out until people stoop to the lowest and expose their families as truly dysfunctional is not what Housewives was ever about. If I was interested in watching Intervention, I would! I'm not.

Frankly, I am bored with the over-blown drama, the orchestrated plots. The storylines that never reveal the true story but always read between the lines. And the lies. So tired of the lies.

And I'm really saddened this is what it's all become. So sit there, smug and manipulative in your $2000 suit, Andy Cohen, and continue acting like you're none the wiser and it's all a little game. Just keep sitting there like the king of fools. 

So with a heavy-heart I begin this recap. 

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Oh. Em. Gee.  It's ironic that I am writing a blog about Melissa Gorga's time on Real Housewives of New Jersey while watching this explosive reunion.  I am only seven minutes in and Teresa Giudice is claiming she never said things that Bravo caught on camera.  Wow.  That said, Jacqueline Laurita needs to take her new found backbone and zip it.  Gahhhh!  I so wish someone other than Andy Cohen were mediating this snit show ;)John Salley, perhaps?  Kidding.  We need Anderson Cooper!

Melissa is speaking out about her time on the show, saying that while it ruined her family, she wouldn't change the experience.  Of course she wouldn't.  I am starting to wonder if any of these women isn't a total fame seeking mess.  Holy heck, did Teresa just make Nicholas' autism about her???  I am going to get back to this post before I reach through my television.  It's bad when these women are making Danielle Staub look sane.  Okay, I'm back on track.  I think.  So, let's revisit Melissa talking about her time on the show, shall we?

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Well we just survived Round One of the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion and all we got was this…headache? Massive amounts of confusions? Hangover?

So – who won the first round?

[Photo Credit: NBC Media]

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When I first started watching Real Housewives of New Jersey it was one of my favorites of the franchise. And my favorite lady in the group was hands-down, Jacqueline Laurita

I thought Jacqueline was fun, spunky – a littly kooky and off-kilter – but she seemed to be able to laugh at herself and enjoy life. I remember in season two when everyone was on the on the Italian cruise, Jacqueline and Teresa Giudice (then best friends) were riding the elevator and she playfully rubbed her butt against the door. I thought it was unfiltered, silly and in short real – even though a lot of viewers found her behavior immature. Maybe Jacqueline is immature – maybe she was all along. But still, she had fun. She lived life her life on TV without pretensions. It was refreshing. 

Jersey has been a franchise marred by serious infighting, drama, and negativity since the beginning. Danielle Staub was the original brunt of controversy and hatred. Did she deserve it? In part… Did it make good TV? For the most part. With Danielle leaving, tides have turned – and they've turned like a whirlpool drowning the entire cast in murky water. Jacqueline seems to have descended to the deepest depths. 

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If I had a dollar for every time I wrote the name Teresa Giudice, I could bail her out of bankruptcy debt. Not that I would, but I would think about it because Lord knows her antics are paying my bills so maybe I owe her. Sheesh this stuff happens so fast, we just don't even want to keep up! 

Anyway, days after releasing an interview with In Touch Weekly announcing that she needs help and is taking a break from drama, Teresa has been all over the media defending herself and perpetuating drama. Some of that drama I have seen in person. And of course she is not alone. Helping her every step of the way are Melissa Gorga and Jacqueline Laurita. When desperate famewhores meet, the sane world explodes. 

The Real Housewieves of New Jersey stars who really, really, and I mean REALLY need to step away from the computer, the TV, and the United States are making wild accusations left and right – from lawsuits, to harassing texts, to releasing so-called texts, to blaming each other for the collapse of the economy and last year's Swine Flu outbreak. So let's break this latest shenanigan down. 
 

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Basketball Wives Real Housewives of New Jersey stars Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice aren't finished with the public smackdowns in any way, shape, or form.  They're only getting started. 

After Melissa accused Teresa of assaulting her while she was holding her infant nephew at Gia's birthday party, Teresa has been telling any publication that will listen that she didn't touch Melis. She tells the Huffington Post:  “I usually don't comment on stories about me, but I cannot ignore Melissa Marco's vicious lie that I assaulted her at my own children’s birthday party while she was holding my baby nephew. It is completely untrue in every way. To make such a horrible accusation that involves our children is beyond despicable and speaks to her true character."

Wonder why she's suddenly calling Melissa by her maiden name?

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