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Real Housewives of New Jersey

Everyone get out your violins!  Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Teresa Giudice is once again talking about how wronged she’s been…while not directly answering questions and bragging about being famous.  Oh, except she’s humble too.  Very humble…with white teeth, because, you know, she and Juicy are getting into the teeth whitening business…which is why he isn’t going to court, as he has to attend a seminar on teeth whitening.  You know, judges are usually pretty lenient on letting you pick when you do and don’t come to court.  My head is spinning already!  Read on to see Teresa’s stellar pity party interview with the Daily Beast.  She hasn’t done anything wrong, y’all.  Nothing!

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Intent to prove that not only does she throw birthday parties for her children, but her in-laws are always invited - Melissa Gorga went on a Jacqueline Laurita-style Twitter rampage with a barage of photos and tweets in response to our article yesterday.

A source told us Melissa never has lavish birthday parties for her kids – and never has any for the boys. Our source also shared that her in-laws weren’t invited to the party. Well, Melissa got out all her scrapbooks to prove our source wrong.

I feel kinda honored. I’m impressed Melissa reads Reality Tea. Thanks, Melis! I mean it.

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Tonight, dear readers, you're in for a treat – it's the motherload of Real Housewives of New Jersey posts! We've got it all, but most of all we've got salacious and gory EXCLUSIVES about whose living a lie on national TV. That would be all of them. Oh, we've also got more Caroline Manzo acting like a bulldog. It wouldn't be RHONJ without that!

First up, last week Melissa Gorga hosted a beautiful birthday party for her daughter Antonia. We all saw Melissa getting beautified for a six-year-old's birthday party and then strapping on her best hoochie heels. Melissa admitted that her daughter's parties are always a "lavish" affair.

Are they lavish enough for Kennedy Caroline Armstrong? Likely not. Watching from home, you know Kennedy was thinking "That bitch can't touch me. I had a mother effing horse."

Anyway, our source tells us EXCLUSIVELY that Melissa only throws parties for her daughter and that her Joe Gorga's parents weren't even invited to the party! Is that because it wasn't anywhere near Antonia's real birthday? 

"Antonia's party was just for the cameras," our source shares. "Melissa never throws her kids big parties. Her boys have never even had a birthday party. The baby had no 1st birthday and no 2nd birthday party! Not even cake at the house," our source assures us.

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Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey everyone mostly got along and for a second there I thought I was watching the wrong show until Caroline Manzo popped up to insult her children on national TV. Oh Caroline, cut the cord. And Manzo Spawn – run.

It’s the day of Antonia Gorga‘s sixth birthday party and what’s a mama to do but get her make-up and hair professionally done for a backyard party filled with kindergartners. Do stilettos go with a bouncy castle? Didn’t think so!

While Melissa Gorga is in the make-up chair, Antonia is hard at work assembling gift bags. Who’s the birthday girl again? Melissa is gushing about Antonia’s lavish party – Joey Gorga tells her she’s too expensive. Don’t try to compete with Taylor Armstrong, Melissa. The lip injections are already taking it too far.

Melissa asks Poison about the visit to the therapist. Joey proceeds to tell us that Teresa Giudice must have lied to the doctor about how they had Sunday dinners together and then Teresa tells us the doctor didn’t like them. Then they both blame each other for all the problems in the relationship while claiming they are all about peace, love, and forgiveness. Why do they both do this? It’s ridiculous!

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The tempestuous battle between Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita is raging on and on with the ladies using their Bravo blogs as burn books. Two weeks ago, following an episode where the two had an explosive argument, The Real Housewives of New Jersey star lambasted Teresa for speaking out about her ex-husband Matt Holmes‘ legal issues.

Matt and his wife Jody were arrested on suspicion of arson, insurance fraud, and money laundering and are subject to an FBI investigation. Here’s what Jacqueline had to say on the matter:

“Right after Teresa and I started fighting, the story about my ex-husband suspiciously leaked all over the press. It was an unfortunate situation because, in the end, after my ex passed a few lie detector tests, the FBI dropped the investigation against him. What had originally led to his arrest had been lies started by a fired, disgruntled ex-employee/nanny of his who they found out has a history of being corrupt, including having lived under nine different aliases.”

“My ex-husband, Matt Holmes, and his wife, Jody, are INNOCENT! Teresa knew the deal (contrary to how she made it sound), yet when the heat was on her, she conveniently tried to put the heat on someone else. Deflection and projection are her specialty. This is what she does. She has a history of blaming others for the exact thing that SHE is guilty of doing.”

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Wil Heuser, contestant on the upcoming season of Big Brother, has been a very busy guy.

Aside from being a marketing consultant in Louisville, Kentucky, he’s also a secret Real Housewives fan from the look of his YouTube channelWil has his own channel, mostly dedicated to poking fun at reality TV shows like The Real Housewives of New JerseyReal Housewives of Atlanta and Real Housewives of New York.

Wil has dressed up in drag, made up new lyrics for their songs, and showed off his best impersonations of Countess LuAnn, Ramona Singer, Caroline Manzo, Kim Zolciak and more.  Check out the videos below and share your thoughts.  Funny or lame?

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Congratulations Jacqueline Laurita!  Just like her nemesis Teresa Giudice, it seems that Jacq has found a magazine that pays her to play.  This week’s Life & Style claims that the Real Housewives of New Jersey star is done with Teresa…forever!

“I realized she is not a friend,” Jacqueline tells the magazine about Teresa.  “The friendship was so toxic that I just don’t need that in my life anymore.”

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Andy Cohen just announced that Bravo relies on the metrics of Twitter to gauge who stays and who goes in Housewives-land. So by that measure a certain red-headed Real Housewife of New Jersey should probably be fired, right?

A new rumor is circulating that Caroline Manzo and Jacqueline Laurita may be replaced by Heather Robinson, among others.

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