I don’t know who is writing Sonja Morgan’s Bravo blogs, but they need to cool it on the “vitamins” mixed with Red Bull (allegedly) and limit their word count to – oh, I don’t know – under 10,000. In this week’s War and Peace length narrative, Sonja bemoans the Real Housewives of New York ladies’ lack of support regarding her Latino Show Magazine party, an event which launched one single dress…and a thousand comments. But before we go there, let’s start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start! (Thank you, Julie Andrews.)
Sonja begins by questioning the emerging friendships on this season’s RHONY. “I must say that the relationships we saw in this episode seemed very forced! I feel like the girls are trying out some new friendships this season, and I don’t know that they are going to work out,” she snarks. “Just look at Ramona [Singer] and Luann [de Lesseps]! They tried to establish a friendship this year, and it completely blew up tonight (and at the fabulous Pettrosian of all places). But I must say that Ramona and Dorinda [Medley’s] new friendship does seem to be genuine.” Although Sonja supports Dorinda’s encouragement of Ramona getting back into the dating scene, she believes Mario does really want a second chance. “I am also not surprised that Mario wants to get back together with Ramona. Who wouldn’t want to stay with Ramona? She’s a fox, fun, and keeps you on your toes (even if an apology comes soon thereafter)! Ramona is going to have a rough road ahead deciding where she would like her relationship with Mario to go,” she comments. Because Sonja needs to make Ramona’s divorce situation all about HERSELF, she continues by admitting, ” I do wish that Ramona felt comfortable sharing these moments with me, but I need to respect her decisions during this difficult time. Like Bethenny [Frankel]says, sometimes its easier to open up to someone you hardly know. As is the case when Bethenny herself lets her hair down, and the tears flow with Carole [Radziwill], who doesn’t even have children.”
Luann de Lesseps doesn’t hold back in her latest Bravo blog. This week the Real Housewives of New York star lays it all out there, including her real feelings about Ramona Singer’sfuture (or lack thereof) with Mario, Carole Radziwill’s cold behavior toward Bethenny Frankelduring her (3rd? 5th? 100th?) crying scene, and why Ramona cannot be trusted. She begins by commenting on Ramona’s belief that Mario may want to mend their marriage. “While I’m glad Mario and Avery are now on good terms, I’m skeptical of Mario’s intentions and hope that Ramona waits to see how this plays out before jumping back in. Time will tell,” warns the Countess.
Luann’s thoughts on Carole winning election to her building board are skeptical, but mainly supportive. She comments, “Carole as a politician…why not? She has to start somewhere (I guess), and her election to her building’s board could be the beginning of a new career? I was happy that she was chosen, and I liked her ‘strategy team,’ although it was a bit of overkill, don’t you think?” Yes, those homemade posters by Heather Thomson’s children were surely not Class-With-the-Countess-Approved! As for Carole not being a “hugger” when, in Luann’s opinion, Bethenny needed a hug most, she says that when Bethenny “went décor shopping with Carole at CB2 (fabulous place) and broke down sobbing in the middle of the store, it made me realize that she is so consumed with fear that she can’t see her future through her tears. I wonder why Carole couldn’t find it within her to give Bethenny a hug…even if she isn’t ‘a hugger.'” She adds that Bethenny “needs to take care of herself. When Mommy’s happy, everyone is happy,” and that “Bethenny has to begin looking ahead rather than back and enjoy the time she has with her friends and family.”
After yet another uncomfortable exchange withBethenny Frankel on this week’s Real Housewives of New York, Heather Thomson is weary. And wary. And in need of a Bethenny “handbook” on how to navigate future conversations about, well, anything! In her Bravo blog, Heather admits she was happy to see Bethenny at Carole Radziwill’s election party, but she found Bethenny’s reaction to their discussion about custody a bit shocking, considering Bethenny talks about it All.Of.The.Time. “Our talk about her custody of Bryn was a simple conversation to bring clarity to a topic she often discusses,” says Heather. “I just didn’t realize that only Bethenny can address it. I feel like there are a lot of unwritten rules with her. What you can ask, what you can say, how you can feel…it’s a little tough to navigate.”
“Even silly small talk about a tattoo idea is difficult,” Heather continues. “I’ve been dying to cover an old one and had just seen Maleficent, which was so well done, and I was inspired! But Bethenny, however, is not. Maybe a handbook would be helpful?!” Also, Heather’s joy over Carole winning board election is equal to her joy over Sonja Morgan actually conjuring some semblance of a product line (or, let’s face it, a single product) at her Latino Show Magazine party. Offering that Sonja’s cover and editorial spread were “beautiful,” Heather adds, “Sonja is easy in front of a lens. She photographs beautifully, and the pictures were gorgeous–including the double truck (two-page ad spread) announcing the launch of her brand. I remain supportive of Sonja and was excited to meet her team for the first time and learn more.”
After the emotional hot-n-cold ride Bethenny Frankel’semotions took on last night’s Real Housewives of New York, she feels she has some ‘splainin to do. So, here it is, in the form of this week’s Bravo blog! Bethenny starts by explaining why she felt Carole Radziwill was the – er, appropriate? – audience she needed for an emotional meltdown over her custody and divorce troubles. “You know how sometimes you can confide in a stranger more easily than someone you’re close with? Well, there is a lot that people don’t know about my personal life, and let’s just say that emotions creep out in unexpected ways,” she says. “I have had a rough time, and I was particularly raw. I broke down in CB2, which I’ve renamed ‘Cry Baby 2.’ Carole was perfect in that situation. I am not a huge hugger, either, and I just needed to let it out.”
As for Heather Thomson’sattempts to plumb Bethenny’s emotional depths over 3-year old de-thawed cocktail wieners at Carole’s election party, Bethenny wants none of it. No thanks, mama. “Heather is very inquisitive and likes to get deep quickly,” says Bethenny. “She is just curious, concerned, and a little touchy feely at times. I believe it comes from a good place. I am just guarded and not always trusting. As Dorindasays, I’m a squirrel, so really fast moves make me run. Custody conversation is very personal, and I was just not there, nor will I probably ever be.” Does Heather not know you can’t “Holla!” at a squirrel?
Things begin with another birthday – this time the birthday belongs to Dorinda Medley, who is turning 50. She wants to celebrate by returning Ramona to a place of torment and doom: The BERKSHIRES. Ramona gets the sniffles and can’t breathe. She fans herself. Her thumbs twitch as she texts her friend with the private plane to be on retainer. Just kidding – Ramona actually has a cold, but that’s not gonna stop her from going on a date. Ramona’s tissues bring all the boys to the yard! And they’re like her germs are better than mine!
Dorinda Medley‘s greasy, lascivious boyfriend John Mahdessian has been much-discussed on Real Housewives Of New York. John, who looks like he’d be a better fit as a Real Housewives Of New Jersey husband, proves you can’t judge a book by its cover!
Even though John has gotten off on the wrong foot with nearly all the ladies from being caught red-handed without Dorinda, to being caught with his hand on Sonja’s butt, to Ramona complaining that John is a nobody using Dorinda for her fabulous Upper East Side lifestyle. But is he really?!
John, whose family owns Madame Paulette (dubbed the “Sultans of Stains”), a NYC establishment famed for their ability to restore and clean even the most delicate of couture and vintage, turns out to be the most well-known (and well-respected) person on RHONY! Madame Paulette is the go-to cleaner for everyone from Anna Wintour to Lady Gaga to Beyonce and John’s affiliation with Vogue Magazine has landed him on the guest list of the MET Gala!
Sonja Morgan is so happy that her life is wonderful and therefore she doesn’t have to resort to trash-talking her friends behind their backs. And since Sonja thinks everything is hunky-dory, so should we!
Sonja begins by complaining that was nice to Heather Thomson even though Heather was “talking badly about my business behind my back,” but it is Carole Radziwill that she’s truly upset by. “What was with Heather’s BFF Carole knocking my consultations with a psychopharmacologist? Carole isn’t a doctor, and I don’t know why she thinks that she knows what’s in the best medical interest for me.” Yeah – we’re talking about a woman who willingly ingested testosterone for an “experiment.”
Hey Mama! Holla! Heather Thomson not only begins her Bravo blog with these dusty old Heatherisms this week; she spends a full paragraph defending them. That is, before she moves on to defending her good friend Carole Radziwill’srelationship with Adam, which has become a rather tiresome storyline on this season of Real Housewives of New York. Heather begins, “Holla! I have nicknames for everyone. It’s really just a term of endearment, and a way I like to connect with people. ‘Holla’ and ‘mama’ are part of my heritage. I’ve been using those terms for as long as I can remember,” she explains. As long as she can remember? Yes, indeed. 1993 called and wants its catchphrase back. Heather goes on to dive deeper into the riveting origins of “Holla.” “Holla actually came about on the show when a producer asked me for a ‘Heatherism’ to add to the end of my tagline. ‘Holla!’ naturally flowed out of me as a positive shout-out, and it stuck. I’ve never tried to be anything or anyone I’m not. I’m all about being positive and trying to build people up, rather than tear them down, and that’s what holla represents for me.”
Now that her Girl Scouts of America speech about the deep cultural and personal relevance of “Holla” is over, we can move on to an equally interesting topic: Carole’s love life! Heather says, “I’m happy for Carole. She’s excited about someone, and it’s because of chemistry! You can’t hide a chemistry that magnetic. It’s exciting to see your friends find happiness. I believeLuann [de Lesseps], at least the one I thought I knew, meant it when she said she was happy for Carole, too. Unfortunately, she’s changed her tune on that.”