Last night on Vanderpump Rules it was a birthday bonanza! First Ariana Madix channeled her inner child with a potent cocktail of tequila, tears, and trampolines. Then Peter Madrigal channeled his inner manhood with a potent cock-tail of bulldozers, booze, and booty touching in Vegas. Aaaahhh… ain’t nothing like a little boy bonding.
Ariana throws the most major of epic pseudo-kids birthday parties. It was pretty much exactly the same party Kyle Richards throws for Portia, minus the Fat Burger truck, plus an open bar. Ariana rented a bounce house, trampoline, piñata, silly string, face painters, etc. She’s also wearing a bizarre unicorn horn, dangerously protruding from her forehead. It distracts from her side-eye, because it’s like a very pointy third eye. A very pointy third eye aimed directly atTom 1‘s shenanigans. Concerns: what happens when one mixes a unicorn horn with an inflatable bounce house? Somebody’s bubble is about to get burst!
Lisa took to social media over the weekend to inform her over one million Twitter followers of Daddio’s untimely demise. “My little Daddio passed away whilst we were traveling back, daddy of Giggy whom we adopted two years ago. So very sad,” said the 55-year-old avid animal lover.
If you missed it, James and Lala were guests on WWHL last week and they were swearing up a storm, causing a good chunk of the episode to be bleeped out and forcing Andy to name the duo as his Jackhole of the Day.
The censor got really carried away – not just bleeping the curse words, but the entire sentence before and after, which really killed the show. So, while it is James and Lala’s fault for the way they acted and the things they said, the bleeper should take some of the blame, too! They didn’t have to get so heavy handed about it!
In where’d that come from?!? news, Jax Taylor has opened his own restaurant.
In how stupid can he be?!? news, the Vanderpump Rules star admitted he did NOT ask restaurateur extraordinaire Lisa Vanderpump for advice before he invested in and opened up a restaurant. But – NO WORRIES – he knows what not to do from being a ridiculously crappy employee for so many years and he plans to steal Peter Madrigal, who is a good employee, from SUR. Why do I get the feeling that Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz wrote Jax’s business plan?
Lala and James took to Twitter (where else?) to apologize to Andy Cohen.
Lala, who is new to Vanderpump Rules this season, tweeted, “I’m so sorry for my potty mouth Andy. Thank you so much for having me. And thank u to my supporters. U keep me breathing. #iloveyou” Considering the ink isn’t even dry on her contract yet AND she attached herself to the oh so repulsive James, I’m guessing she doesn’t have nearly as many supporters as she thinks she does.
If I were Jax Taylor‘s girlfriend Brittany, after watching last night’s Vanderpump Rules, I’d be breaking up with him. But she probably got into the business of dating Jax by watching Vanderpump Rules, so I’ll assume she’s not surprised by his general assiness and lies.
Before we get into all the drama Lisa Vanderpump meets an early 30-something woman named Arielle with priorities. Imagine! Arielle volunteers with homeless youth (aged 18 – 23) who live in a shelter. Arielle reached out to Lisa and Ken on Facebook because many of these kids have never eaten in a fancy restaurant and have always wanted to. Lisa and Ken of course say yes.
Now, drama. Lala Kent did not hook up with Jax after PRIDE – but not for lack of trying! Lala asks if he wants to get a drink, so Jax pretends he’s not really together with his girlfriend Brittany. Out of sight, out of mind; in sight, in Jax’s bed!
About his emotional talk with his mom, James said, “It was a difficult time for me. I made a lot of mistakes this summer. I feel like what I was going through with my family was definitely a part of that – it took me into a little bit of a whirlwind. With everything going on at SUR and with my parents, it was just a lot to handle.”
James said insinuating that he used Kristen Doute to get more screen time is “preposterous,” adding, “It’s not like I was banging her for four months and became a primary. We were together for a year and a half. We had a Christmas tree together last year. I don’t understand…” <silence> Because, swearing.