Tom was loitering, casually constructed behind the bar at SUR, when a trainwreck of botched lip implants and an immobile face appeared before him! He jumped; he recoiled in horror. No, not because he saw who it was – Annemarie from Miami – but because she ordered a Cosmo (is this Sex And the City circa 2002?!) – then he bolted. From her vantage point across the restaurant, perfectly positioned so she could witness the showdown while guzzling wine, Kristen leapt from her seat and went running after him. This wasn’t supposed to happen – Tom was supposed to run TOWARDS Kristen, not away from SUR.
So now that we’ve set the scene, let’s rewind – Lord knows I did a lot of that last night to catch every wimple of drama.
Tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules is when all the crazy breaks free from its tenuous grip on sane-ish behavior and explodes. Kristen Doute has schemed and conspired to out Tom Sandoval as a cheater and the woman he supposedly cheated with in Miami will confront him on camera.
Way back when – in March of last year – Tom went to Miami with Jax Taylor and Tom Schwartz where he allegedly hooked-up with AnnemarieKunkel, a self-described receptionist from NYC, (photo above) who claims she had no idea the boys were on reality TV. Poor Annemarie was so innocent and sweet, she then sold her hook-up story to a tabloid. Then, of course, she found Kristen on instagram to try and get some attention. Well, her hard work paid off!
After years of putting up with Stassi Schroeder‘s special unique crazy, Katie Maloney finally snapped. The straw that broke the camel’s back? Stassi expecting Katie to put their friendship before everything else going on in her life – including her relationship with Tom Schwartz and her job at SUR!
First Katie explains why she decided to go to Miami with the rest of her Vanderpump Rules co-stars. “Tom and I had just gone through an extremely difficult period, and it really shook us both to our core. I had to completely turn my attention and priorities towards our relationship and asses everything.”
Katie shares that she needed to detach emotionally and try to figure out what was salvageable and what was causing so much friction between herself and Tom 2. “I had to decide where I needed to place importance. Now considering I don’t subscribe to Jax’s bullsh–, I no longer placed any importance on what he says and does. I knew that what he says and does can and did affect me, but it was no longer important to me. Rebuilding my relationship was the most important thing to me.”
This week Tom 2‘s girlfriend finally called it quits with the indomitable Stassi Schroeder, who erroneously believes that being a 4th removed descendent of Swedish Royalty (according to Ancestry.com) gives her to the right to demand ultimate servitude. Tom explains that was a longtime coming and very disappointing for Katie who believed Stassi was a true friend.
“I hear Stassi say things like, ‘I’m done.’ Get over it and yourself. It’s exhausting me to see her behave this way. She is seriously corny and is starting to seem like a parody of herself, minus the redeeming stuff,” Tom recounts.
Everyone has returned from Miami in high spirits – Lisa Vanderpump is impressed they managed to take a vacation without killing Scheana. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix even believe Tom’s talk with Kristen has given her the closure she needs and everything is peaceful. That peace, is the quiet before the storm, sadly.
Scheana Marie Almost Famous has anointed herself as diplomat of SUR and plans to ask Lisa for a raise after all the good work she did using penis straws to reunite the group. Poor Stassi is left out in the cold. She hasn’t just been shivering outside, pressing her face against the window and drooling over the fried goat cheese balls, she’s been beading! Stassi has been hustling! She’s not just living off her parents! Stassi’s real hustle is convincing people to actually interact with her.
There’s been a lot of rumors now that perma-ingrate Stassi Schroeder is making a lot of enemies. In a new interview the Vanderpump Rules star complains that editing makes her look like a “mean girl” and reveals that she’s probably done with the show!
“I’m kind of over the reality TV thing. It’s too stressful. It really is stressful. There’s so much negativity,” explains Stassi. “Most people do reality TV as a stepping stone. They can use it as a platform. Anyone who chooses to do reality TV for the sake of doing reality TV has to be insane.”
“Honestly, I’ve wanted to use this (TV show) to build up a following,” Stassi continues. “I’ve been slowly working my way up in fashion. If I didn’t have the show, those things wouldn’t be possible.”