I’m not going to lie.  I had to focus on my breathing during last night’s Dance Moms so as not to pop a vein.  These poor girls work so hard, and they are truly supportive friends.  However, Abby Lee Miller and the crazy moms do everything possible to take the fun out of what they like to do most.  I was really, really disturbed by it.

It’s pyramid time once again, but Kelly and Paige are glaringly absent.  Abby Lee thinks it’s horrendous that Kelly hasn’t filled her in on the status of Paige’s foot injury.  Bottom line: they should be there for the pyramid.  Abby lectures the girls about the importance of listening to her…if Paige had listened, she may not have hurt herself!  Christi can’t believe Abby is blaming Paige.  It was an accident.  Abby praises last week’s soloists and announces they’ll be competing in Philly next.  Paige is on the bottom thanks to her “accident” along with MacKenzie and Chloe.  Chloe lands on the bottom because she didn’t have a solo that makes sense.  Brooke and Nia are on the second tier, with Maddie once again on the top thanks to getting the highest score from the judges.  MacKenzie is granted a solo, although she won’t be in the group dance.  Brooke and Maddie both get a solo.  Chloe and Paige will be dancing a duet.  Chloe is thrilled at the prospect of dancing with her best friend.

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It’s not shocking to learn that Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Jacqueline Laurita and the housewife everyone loves to hate Teresa Giudice are still not on speaking terms after a rocky season.  It’s also not shocking to learn that “reality” hangers on are lining up to give their two cents about the former two besties’ current relationship.

To whom am I referring?  Kim Granatell…or Kim G. for serious fans.  She’s been missing from the season for the most part, so of course she’s going to resurface in tabloid land.  Don’t tell me you’re surprised!

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Jennifer Del Rio from 16 and Pregnant has fled her home state of Florida with her twins to get away from her children’s father.  You may recall this happy couple from their episode when her then boyfriend Joshua Smith left her on the side of the road before speeding off with his children in the back seat.  He’s a classy guy.

The now eighteen-year-old mother is now with her kids in Illinois, citing her ex’s abusive ways as her reasoning for getting the heck out of dodge.  Both were arrested (at separate times) in 2011 alleging battery against the other, a claim Jennifer says is totally false.

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If you didn’t think the scripted drama of VH1’s train wreck Love & Hip Hop Atlanta could get any more ridiculous, you would be sorely mistaken!

It seems that Mona Scott-Young knows how to create situations that will no doubt end in fighting, drink throwing, and weave ripping.  As if there wasn’t enough friction between the ladies and gents already cast, it’s rumored that she will be bringing in some new blood (and getting rid of a perceived dud) for the second season of the craziness.  Wait, the show’s been green lighted for a second season?  Oh, great!

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Cast members of The Real Housewives of New York got together to hit a garage sale over the weekend!  OK, we know it wasn’t your typical yard sale where they had to touch the no-longer-wanted items of peasants, but instead a charity event.

Aviva Drescher, LuAnn de Lesseps, Carole Radziwill, and Heather Thomson hit up the good deals to be to had at the Super Saturday 15 event, which benefited the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.

Kelly Ripa hosted the fundraising event, which included one-of-a-kind designer garage sale with over 200 designers, a kids carnival with rides, a raffle, fortune tellers, manicures and more.

Also in attendance – former RHONY cast member Jill Zarin, as well as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle Richards.

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We resume with our favorite Mob Wives: Chicago ladies with Christina Scoleri‘s party going to heck in a hand basket.  After all, NoraNora Schweihs did just accuse Renee Fecarotta Russo‘s dad of raping her.  Pia Rizza is just thrilled that finally the other ladies are seeing the Nora that she sees.

Nora is crying to the point that her make-up is running so she makes a quick exit.  Renee is quoting Forest GumpChristina can’t believe that none of the women are even slightly siding with Nora.  Has she watched any of the episodes?

Pia decides to hash out the party antics with her fifteen-year-old daughter.  Pia wants her daughter to hear their crazy family history before she hears it on the mean streets..or at school.  Bella is very mature, but she sure didn’t need to hear that her mom punched someone in the face.  Just let this poor girl navigate high school sans the drama!  Pia is doing an ugly cry, but her daughter is a stellar and mature fixture.  Should she get her own show?

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It was the birthday party from H-E-double hockey sticks on last night’s Dance MomsAbby Lee Miller doesn’t only have some of her dancers in tears, but some of the moms as well!

The bottom of the pyramid is Paige because of Kelly changing her choreography.  While Abby is proud that she beat her Candy Apple counterpart, perhaps she would have beaten her even better with Abby’s moves.  MacKenzie joins Paige on the bottom, followed by Brooke who is finally off of probation.  The middle rung Nia and MaddieChloe takes the spot for landing her solo in the top ten and winning the overall best costume award.

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Photo credit: Adriana Barraza/WENN