Woo. I can’t even. Last night’s Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta reunion was a lot to digest…and even then I barfed it all back up when I watched the finger sucking scene again. The good news? It was the first of three crazy installments! The bad news? It was the first. Of THREE. Mona Scott Young, you are an evil genius, my friend!
The cast arrives, drinks in hand and prep people in tow as if they are walking the red carpet for the Oscars. Perhaps Mona will win an Academy Award for promoting bad acting and ratchet behavior. I think it would be a great category addition to the awards show, don’t you? Erica Dixon, Karlie Redd, Mimi Faust, and Ariane are all getting ready in the same room. Karlie admits she has some secrets she’d like to share, and Erica shares that there are some “animals” she doesn’t want to see. Momma Dee threatens anyone who threatens her family, while Yung Joc nods in agreement. People who wear sunglasses inside always look super douchey. Case in point? Nikko. Bambi tells Lil’ Scrappy that Stevie J. posted a picture on Instagram the morning of the reunion which shows a nekkid The-The on her Knee-Knees about to pleasure the Stevie J. bus. Something tells me his friendship with Benzino isn’t going to survive this train wreck!
Despite all the drama – and some sketchy rumors that she was fired – Tamra promises to return next season! When asked on twitter if she was leaving after this season, Tamra responded “not a chance.” Adding, “I have been told im the highest rated on our show. Just keeping it real baby” Well, of course she is – real classy!
The Teen Mom stars – minus Farrah Abraham – and the Teen Mom 2 stars filmed an “Ask the Moms” special, where the “biggest Teen Mom fans” were given a chance to ask the MTV stars questions. This could be really bad or really good. If nothing else, let’s hope the fans questions were better than Dr. Drew Pinsky‘s predictable, misogynistic questions.
Guest of the hour, Victoria Gotti, claimed that Rino told her he and Teresa Aprea divorced after Rino slept with his mother-in-law. As in Teresa’s mother Santa! Of course, Teresssssssa et al and Rino are strenuously denying these accusations!
Rino is so up in arms about the accusation he called Victoria “a garbage person” on twitter. That’s some balls!
This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne kicks off with Chyka Keebaugh and her husband Bruce getting away for romantic date night out and it’s adorable how in love they are after 25 years of marriage. These two are best friends and I can’t get enough of their authentic relationship. Chyka briefs Bruce about Jackie Gillies and her husband Ben’s alcohol line idea and he graciously notes how tough the business is but wishes them the best of luck (Chyka and Bruce are a class act!). Following dinner, Bruce surprises Chyka with a rented out carnival park so they can enjoy the rides like they did back in the day. Again, I love Bruce.
Next we find Janet Roach visiting her jeweler to pick up her melted down old engagement rings into one ginormous ring. Here’s the thing with her bling that confuses me a bit- it looks like an engagement ring. I thought her goal was to get this ring that signified her life of independence and a new start. I just didn’t think getting a replica engagement ring was her angle. It strikes me as odd.
This week’s Game of Crownsbrings us to the main event itself: “Legends of the Crown.” Legends is a pageant in which only previously-crowned beauty queens can compete. Since last week’s restraining order was issued (by Leha Guilmette to Lynne Diamante) the question now is who can compete against whom and…who’s gonna get arrested? Let’s see, shall we.
We begin at Lori-Ann Marchese’s house one day before the pageant where she’s prepping with the following mantra: tone it, tan it, strut it. Her husband is brushing bottled bronzer all over her in solidarity. She’s sick of the other ladies’ advice to “tone it down” in competitions, so this time Lori-Ann is bringing her true (orange) self to the stage. Woot woot!
In a boxing ring in RI, Leha is unleashing her pent up rage by working out with a coach. Picturing Lynne’s face each time she punches him helps Leha stay fit and pageant-ready. Leha reminds us that Lynne has messed with her for the last time and she’s hitting back now.
On this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, it’s a beautiful morning for the Biermann Family! Kim Zolciak lets us know that she loves the sound of the FedEx delivery truck (aka Santa Claus) as they can only mean posh, luxurious gifts waiting for her to devour. After ripping through her usual order of Louis Vuitton bags and what not, she opens up some odd items that Kroy has ordered. Solar showers and female urinals among them and oh, crap! Kim forgot she promised Kroy Biermann she would go camping in exchange for her high-end shopping spree earlier that month.
She tries to bail on the trip when she finds Kroy in the basement getting organized and ready to go for a fun time in the wilderness. Kroy wants her to unplug for a bit and detach from her hectic life and enjoy the great outdoors for a few days. Kim is all, “Ugh!! Fine!”.