You know that scene in Ghost when Whoopi Goldberg's character looks at Demi Moore and says, "Molly. You in danger, girl"? I picture something like that happening when I think of the recent Kardashian drama…only in my head, Kim Kardashian is Molly and the part of Oda Mae Brown is played by auto-tuned Jonathan Cheban. Why? Because Kim was in danger earlier this week!
A foolish paparazzo tried to sneak onto Kris Jenner'sproperty Monday, and the mother-daughter duo retaliated in a flurry of cell phone footage and hashtags. Hashtags? I hope she has a permit for those!
Teresa Giudice is in big trouble! And not the kind of generic fodder for tabloids that usually erupts on reality TV shows.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star has just been federally indicted on 39-counts of financial fraud along with her husband Joe Giudice. Teresa and Joe both plan to plead Not Guilty and it's clear Teresa is going to try and dumb her way out of this because she has a lot to lose in going to prison. Hey, Martha Stewart's career survived, maybe Teresa's can as well?
Reality Tea's source tells us EXCLUSIVELY that while Teresa is putting on a tough exterior, reality is for real hitting home for the Giudices and things are a mess!
"Teresa and Joe are a nervous wreck," our source reveals. "Joe's parents went to court with him and Teresa today. Things are bad."
If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.
I'm convinced if their businesses bazillion ventures fail or they bid farewell to reality television (either by choice or incarceration), the women of Real Housewives of New Jersey could make fabulous livings as spin instructors. They certainly must get a good work out changing their stories every five seconds. All of the women are guilty of it, but Teresa Giudice and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga are shining professionals when it comes to spinning their version of events to make them the good guy. Hey, at least it's entertaining!
After being accused of threatening Melissa in her blog last week, Teresa clarifies her words in yesterday's Bravo entry. She promises that all of the family (well, maybe not ALL of them…she implies that one little lady is still up to her evil ways) is trying to make things better after that dramatic retreat. Tre writes, "What did you think of the Miracle at St. George? I think I haven't cried that much in my whole life. I cried all over again watching it. All this nonsense about our family not getting along for 10 years just isn't true."
Teresa continues, "You can tell from how we were at the end of the episode — cooking and laughing and enjoying each other like close families do. I wish I could have had every one of you in the room with us to feel the love. You deserve it after watching our darkest moments! Thank you all so much for keeping the faith in my family!" No problem, Billy Joel! Happy to oblige. Teresa is right on that front…we have seen a lot of darkness with the women of RHONJ, and I for one welcomed the reprieve!
I don't think I have to tell y'all how flipping excited I am!
Following the birth of her daughter, Whitney said, “It was surreal seeing Rhythm Myer for the first time after having her to myself for nine months. I wasn't sure if I was ready to share her with the world, but she is my life and I love her more than words can express. I am truly excited to be a mother!”
What does Bonnie think about all these changes? Read on!
The Teresa Giudicefraud case is just getting underway and we're all on the edge of seats waiting to see how this will play out. Joe and Teresa are in court this morning and obviously ready to crack under the pressure of it all – if Joe's temper is any indication.
Until we hear more after their court hearing, we just wanted to share this piece of reading to hold you over. Here is the full indictment – it lists everything they Giudices are being accused of. It's pretty mind blowing and worth the 33 page read.