Oh for peet's sake Stassi Schroeder needs to be on meds. She is categorically insane. I mean she must have her own category in the DSM-V.
Last night on Vanderpump Rules the fallout from last week's drunken disclosures continued! So Katie Maloney got like super wasted and her hair turned an even more obnoxious shade of bronze and she also repeated a rumor that Jax Taylor and Kristen Doute slept together when he and Stassi were broken up.
This turns Stassi all shades of paranoid as she starts speculating whether or not the rumors are true. All her 'friends' hoping to replace Kristen whip out their secret stash of bash books to speculate that Kristen could do something like that – and not only that, she would do something like that.
Stassi claims the proof is that Kristen isn't over-reacting when confronted. Maybe because Kristen heard through that same rumor mill that Jax has syphoghonaherphilitis (allegedly) and ain't nobody got time for that!
After seeing how Kenya spoke about her for taking the master bedroom on the NeNe Leakes' planned trip to Savannah, Kandi took to Instagram to respond to hating viewers. Kandi, Kandi, Kandi…Instagram is for pictures…Twitter is for words. No matter, Kandi calls it like it is!
Well this is totally unprecedented! Seriously, it's like uncharted Bravo territory. I don't even know where to start. Has Andy Cohen signed off on this major occurrence?
We are all far too familiar with the fact that the Housewives franchise is the jumping off point for drama-fueled ladies and their wine/cookbook/work-out ventures, but now a Real Housewives of New York newbie is switching up the entire protocol. She's trying to get her product out there before we've even seen her on the show!
Yolanda Foster is planning a dinner party to honor HER KING. It's David-galore and all about David. I wonder what flowers David likes? Probably the ones that bloom in his presence – he is quite miraculous that way!
On the other side of town in a poor, sad subdivision where normal people who don't have houses built on a foundation of Grammy awards and or a fridge made of diamonds spun from the hair of virgin, albino Persian cats, Brandi is searching for her poor lost dog Chica. Awww… poor Chica. While Brandi annoys the bejesus out of me – and adding to that annoyance is the presence of Kyle in a pirate-themed Kaftan from Kylene By Too Many Kraptans – I totally understand the loss of a pet.
As if the amount of peanut brittle I've eaten today isn't gag-worthy enough, Kris Jenner swoops in to ruin my sugar high with her talk of Kimye's wedding, how in love Yeezus is with daughter Kim Kardashian, and how great things are with Bruce post-separation. It makes me kind of want to poke myself in the eye.
It will come as no surprise that Kim isn't going to tone it down for wedding number three to Kanye West. Shocker! After her million dollar event for a marriage that lasted less than three months, that sounds reasonable enough.