Last night we welcomed Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills season 5! Yay! Although some things have changed – LISA RINNA IS HERE! – many things have stayed the same. Lisa Vanderpump is still fabulous and everyone is blaming her for being so, while pretending they are SO OVER that Lisa is able to get away with being snooty, snippy, and a little dismissive because she’s fun and glamorous, and pink – like a pussy!
Also, staying the same, although looking a bit more, shall we say, tweaked – is Brandi Glanville! Brandi’s face is ’bout to freeze in the the sour lemon sneer if she don’t shape up, because she is getting more bitter by the second. Brandi wants everyone to forget that she led last season’s mutiny against Lisa – correction: she wants Lisa to forget, but she also wants Lisa to accept that it was her fault that Brandi was forced to do it.
Things I realize about Brandi: she just can’t be happy, she doesn’t want to grow-up. She must have drama, and she’s only all about the truth and people owning up when it’s about other people.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite family photos from the past few weeks.
Above: Jenni Pulos shared, “Have a week full of happy.”
Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is back, but before we welcome the new, let’s recap the old! In season 4 the cast tried to tackle issues of betrayal, religion, and race mixed with diamonds, rosé and glamorous vacations. It didn’t work.
They also tried to drastically alter the status quo by staging a coup against Lisa Vanderpump. That also didn’t work. But it did teach us a very important lesson about intergalactic geography: Brandi Glanville is an alien invader from Planet Trash! That explains everything…
Last season introduced us to one-failure-wonders, Carlton Gebbia and Joyce Giraud (or shall we call her Hoyce, depending on how much we’ve had to drink?). Carlton made her storyline about how she was the living embodiment of all the bored middle-aged ladies yearning for their husbands to become Christian Grey, but instead they got stuck with Mr. Green who is working his boring job to pay for boob jobs, instead of tying them up with twist-ties and beating them with bananas atop the Etruscan marble breakfast nook while the maid vacuums in the background. Carlton decided to prove that a gal can have both by building a parents playroom (with the help of her icky nanny) and taking her MIL to the Hustler store for bikinis.
Unfortunately for Kim she just doesn’t see what all the controversy is about – she’s like soooo proud of all the work she does and the amazing things that she has accomplished. Silly Kim doesn’t get that her shameless attention whoring is what’s behind the outrage, which did far more to #BreakTheInternet than yet another photo of Kim’s altered derriere!
“I was so honored and excited to work with [photographer Jean-Paul Goude] because he is a legend, and for me that was something I wanted to do to make myself feel confident,” the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star insisted.
Good news: Tori Spelling is out of the hospital. Random news: She’s sporting new grey hair extensions. Bad news: Tori Spelling is making the press rounds to promote the new season of True Tori. Yesterday, she appeared on Today, and Hoda and Kathie Lee coddled the special snowflake beyond belief. Tori’s first post-hospital interview came hot on the heels of several secret sources spilling their guts to Us Magazine.
Here’s a source, there’s a source, everywhere there’s a secret source…
One source claimed Tori and Dean McDermott are barely speaking. I believe it. Dean was in the building but he did not sit with Tori during her interview. A second source shared, “There appears to be no love between them. When the cameras are off, they’re cold toward one another.” A third insider insinuated that Tori‘s recent grab for attention hospitalization for ebola/bronchitis/mental breakdown was the final nail in the coffin.
NeNe Leakes kept her the Real Housewives of Atlanta blog short – but not so sweet – this week. I imagine she’ll have a lot more to say when she’s back in Atlanta on next Sunday’s episode. I can hardly wait.
Along with a link to her blog, NeNe tweeted, “There is no need 4 me 2 waste words on people who deserve my silence. So I’ll let you b the judge … #TheThirstIsREAL.” NeNe silent? Only in my dreams! Of course those people include Cynthia Bailey, Apollo Nida, and Kenya Moore.
NeNe thanked those who supported her in Las Vegas, adding, “We’ve got one woman working in Vegas at Zumanity doing something different and out of the box, while the others sit around a bar to gossip and lie.”
While I welcome them with open arms, I am surprised they joined the show, as they’ve both been blessed with long successful careers. Lisa is no stranger to reality TV, having appeared on Celebrity Apprentice, Dancing with the Stars, and Harry Loves Lisa, but she dissed the thought of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills more than once in the past. So why did Lisa change her mind?