I dunno… maybe Real Housewives of Miami is growing on me. It's so… glossy. I mean, I'm a girl who loves a soap opera and since reality TV is just as staged and melodramatic as Revenge, why not amp up the glamour and make it look as glossy as Revenge. Although if Emily Thorne ever sports leopard print tuxedo trousers with a neon racing stripe Imma have serious issues.
So last night the bionic blonde trio of Lea Black, Joanna Krupa, and Fembot Fakenstein traveled to LA for a little wedding planning. You wouldda thought it was the first time these broads had been on an airplane before with all the handycam footage they were shooting. Lisa gleefully popped a tranquilizer of some sort then put both legs behind her head contortionist style and bragged that Lenny really likes that move. Um… I have never seen an adult woman that flexible – even in yoga – did she get her hipbones removed or something? Is she entirely made of high-grade silicone. She's definitely a fembot.
Then they arrive at Joanna's LA home, which is really pretty. Lisa looses track of her giant suitcase, which weighs approximately double what she does even when she wears 7" platforms. It starts rolling away from her down the driveway. She takes off after it fearing for the life of her Louboutins and ends up in the street desperately tripping over the giant thing. That was seriously the funniest scene I've ever seen on this show. It was classic and adorable.
In a recent video, titled Farrah Abraham: She's Now A Sex Toy, Farrah shared she's designing her own line of sex toys, including replicas of her own lady bits.
"I think I'm taking sex symbol to a whole new level today," explained Farrah. "I'm at Topco, which is the fourth biggest in the nation adult sales manufacturer. So, now I'm going to have a whole sex line. People are going to jack off to me."
One thing I appreciate about Joanna is her ballsy candor and she really does seem unafraid to put herself out there, lack of sex life and all! In a new interview with A Drink With… blog, Joanna dishes on the show and insists she's exactly how she seems on TV!
"What pisses me off are people who try to pretend like they are so perfect, I’m not going to name names but it’s really annoying," Joanna says. "Just don’t pretend that you are somebody you’re not!"
One thing she does think was misrepresented about her was that she is an alcoholic. "I don’t have an alcohol problem! Last season was really tough for me because I’m a lightweight," Joanna insists. "After I have one or two drinks if somebody pisses me off I get really verbal."
Kail married Javi's military benefits last year at the courthouse. "We wanted to have a wedding last year when we were married, but obviously with him in the Air Force, we weren't able to," shared Kail. "Now we got to do it in front of our family and friends."
This time the Teen Mom 2 couple wed at Adventure Aquarium in Camden, NJ.
We found only a few pictures of Kail and Javi's big day to share. While most reality TV stars willingly share details and photos of their lives with their fans via Twitter, Kail thinks way too highly of herself and would never stoop so low.
Earlier today, Kail tweeted, "Keep your eyes open this week for my exclusive interviews with In Touch and Life & Style magazines for all your wedding details." Oh yeah, the next time I'm at Target, I'll be sure to buy Kail's wedding exclusives a popcorn and a large soda. #sorrynotsorry
Teresa Giudice is upset with Joe Gorga for the hurtful comments on the past few episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey and she's setting him straight on a few things in her new blog. She's also confused and trying to figure out what sort of game Penny Karagiorgis and Melissa are playing.
Teresa says that Joe blasted her advice as terrible and he's got one amazing memory because he's recalling things from when he was only three years old? "Last week he said no one should "take advice" from me. That really hurt because I was good enough for Joey to take advice and help from when he was first starting his business. Then this week he tells some ridiculous story about how I acted when I was 5. Here's what's funny: he was 3 at the time. How long is he going to keep talking trash about his only sister? I wish he would stop, but it is taking a toll. You can only get hurt so much before you get numb. This week, when he was spewing garbage about me, I was numb. I don't know what that means, but that's how I feel now."
The boutique owner, who currently lives in South Jersey and is married to reported Colombo associate Edward "Tall Guy" Garofalo Jr. will be joining the cast to cause may-jor drama! Alicia's father-in-law is Edward Garofalo, the mobster that allegedly arranged the hit on Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, otherwise known as Karen's father. I wonder if her inclusion has anything to do with Karen leaving the show?
Sure enough Alicia has been blowing up twitter and instagram with photos of her posing with Big Ang and Renee Graziano.
Caroline Manzo spent most of last night's episode over at the grand opening of her sons' new restaurant venture "Little Town New Jersey". The proud mom of three shared in her Bravo blog how thrilled she is that Albie andChris are following in their dad's footsteps.
Caroline shared: "The Little Town Grand Opening was awesome. I am so proud of my boys. They've got the restaurant business in their blood, and I loved that they value Al's opinion the way they do. Life is funny — they always said they never wanted to be in the food business and here they are, right smack in the middle of a food and beverage world. They work very hard, and as a parent, watching them make a name for themselves doing what they love to do is a wonderful, wonderful feeling."