Last week's episode of Princesses: Long Island ended with Ashlee Whitepoofing into thin air. I don't know about you guys but I've barely been able to sleep, eat, or care for my children. Worry consumes me! What if bad people kidnap Ashlee and force her to eat mixed cheese? What if she breaks a heel? What if Ashlee's parents hightail it outta Long Island before she's found? Who will care for little orphan Ashlee?
Thankfully, Chanel Omari is on the case, looking high and low for Ashlee. Mostly low. Winery employees can barely contain their smirks. I have a feeling they couldn't care less about Long Island's precious little snowflake. They're clearly bad people. Meanwhile, Chanel sobs, "All I can think about is, what's happening to her right now?" I know. I know! Cheeses, heels, orphans, it's all too much to process at once. Chanel adds, "I can't think about losing Ashlee forever." It's like she can read my mind!
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Jacqueline addressed the dinner meeting in her new blog this week. She first let it be known that she will NOT be discussing Teresa's troubles with the feds, much like Caroline Manzo's stance on WWHL. "I will not be publicly discussing anything relating to the recent news regarding Teresa and her family. I reached out to Teresa directly. I am strictly discussing the episode and how I felt at the time."
Is Kanye West planning to buy Elvis Presley'sGraceland?
Every once in a while there's a rumor that you know has a .001% chance of being true, but it's just too funny to pass up. And we could all use a story that isn't related to the Real Housewives of New Jersey, right?
The latest crazy Kim Kardashian/Kanye West gossip is that Kanye is considering putting in an offer to buy Graceland. I realize their new mansion is still under renovation, but I'm highly doubting this one. Here's the scoop:
The 2013 EOTM Awards, hosted by Farrah Abraham, were held last night in L.A.
The EOTMs (aka Entrepreneurs on the Move) handed out "accolades presented by the EOTM Radio & TV Network celebrating entrepreneurial achievements and performances in business, philanthropy and the arts (recordings, television, radio, literature, film, directing and writing)".
FormerTeen Mom star Farrah not only hosted the event, but took home an award for Best Inspirational Literature for her tome "My Teenage Dream Ended". No lie. She was also up for "Outstanding Reality Star" (even though she's been off the air for how long now?). Farrah was up against Kyle Richards, Courtney Stodden, NeNe Leakes, Mama Dee, and others.
Also nominated for an EOTM? Gretchen Rossi andTami Roman for "Entrepreneur of the Year". And Bobby Trendy for Emerging Designer of the Year.
No, I didn't type all of that with a straight face.
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Last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey was all very…orange. From Caroline Manzo's hair as she bossed around her family and tried broker a treaty between Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Giudice to Joe Gorga's billboard extravaganza, orange was definitely the color scheme. Thankfully, it's a color I like. What I don't like is all the underhanded quips and lack of accountability, but I've learned that behavior is par for the course with this crowd!
Melissa Gorga takes her boys to visit Joe at the job site and he gets a call asking him to model on a tanning salon billboard. Mel doesn't want to join him in his highway advertising debut because Tre once did a commercial for the same salon. What a throwback! Melissa doesn't want Teresa to assume she's copying her yet again. She's content just to drive the bulldozer. All of the bouncing and shrieking and "make it stop" is probably something Joe is used to hearing in the bedroom.
Teresa is hosting the first family dinner in ages. She has her girls help her prepare the table, and they are excited to see their cousins. Teresa asks the always entertaining Melania if she plans to cook for her husband when she grows up. Um no. Melania's husband will definitely be cooking for her.
Sheree asks Jessica why she hightailed it out of her birthday dinner. Jess explains, Josie invited a boy over, and she wanted to spy and/or surprise them by returning home earlier than expected. Sheree doesn't believe her. She pushes the issue, asking if Drea made her feel uncomfortable, but Jessica stands by her story. You mean the world doesn't revolve around Drea? Woah. Somebody better check her email. In all seriousness, I don't believe Jessica either, but I also can't blame her for fleeing from that restaurant.
Sheree pretty much tells Jessica that they all talked about her after she left. Sheree reminds Jessica of the comments she made about Gia's birth mother, adding, "We all came to the consensus that your timing was off." Jessica plays dumb. Sheree chastises Jessica for ruining Mayte's celebratory moment. And Jessica plays dumber. Sheree urges Jessica to reach out to Mayte, adding, "You don't have to be wrong to offer an apology." Jessica says she wants to make things right. Mayte's keeper will stop this from happening.
Someone start playing the violin because Basketball Wives'Shaunie O'Neal has a sad story to tell. Not only is her show criticized left and right for portraying women in a hateful, bitter, and violent light (she's working on that, y'all!), but now she may have given someone the boot far too soon.
That's right! Shaunie is having second thoughts about canning former friend Jennifer Williams. While Nostrils doesn't lose any sleep over firing Royce Reed, she's starting to feel melancholy about dear ol' Jenn.
Last night's Sister Wives was lacking all the whine that has been present for last few weeks. Thankfully, I wasn't lacking in wine. Sometimes it takes a little pinot noir for me to watch Robyn, Meri, Christine, and Janelle fight for Kody Brown's affections. Hey, I get it…that hair would make me a fool for love too!
Robyn has got to be over the moon. Not two short weeks ago, no one wanted to be involved in My Sister Wives Closet, but now business-minded Janelle realizes it could be the perfect avenue to create a line of modest exercise gear. Christine is also hopping on the bandwagon after she got the tragic news that realtor actually have to do work, so that job prospect is out of the question. She wants to market the business with some t-shirts, but Kody doesn't want to cheapen the company with fumpy gimmicks. For someone who didn't want to be a part of this gig, Kody sure is vocal. Robyn jokes that Kody needs to put on his big boy panties. Has he done something different with his beard? Dead sexy.
Janelle is getting frustrated with the plateau in her weight loss goals. While she was consistently losing weight in the beginning, the numbers aren't getting lower now. Janelle counts her calories and works out an hour a day, six days a week. Her trainer convinces her to bring in her scale. He wonders why Janelle is focused on the number on the scale when now she's running and getting stronger. He makes her take a sledgehammer to the scale, and Janelle feels liberated. She then models some pants that are now several sizes too big, and she realizes that she is making major progress.