This episode of Game of Crowns can be summed up by the following statement: Nick the cop is crazy. After last week’s TMZ report of Nick biting Vanassa Sebastian’s husband’s ear not once, but twice, during a brawl at the “non Bravo sanctioned” GOC preview party, one can only watch Nick’s antics toward the ladies in last night’s episode with a tainted lens – otherwise known as totally accurate judgment. Oh, and besides getting screamed at and threatened by Leha Guilmette’s husband (and his father!), the ladies also competed in a Mrs. America pageant. So, let’s get to it.
We’re reminded that Lori-Ann Marchese and Leha are both in Arizona competing for Mrs. America while Shelley Carbone, Vanassa, and Susanna Paliotta are flying down to bet on them like racehorses support them. We pick up outside of the airport where Vanassa and Susanna’s matchy-matchy twinkie jumpsuits caused a major blowout, with both women screaming insults at each other. The trio manages to load their luggage into the car, get to the hotel, and choose appropriately distanced bedrooms from their respective frenemies despite the drama. Once there, Susanna takes Vanassa aside to “work through their issues.” Susanna claims she feels bad for Vanassa because Vanassa is the “typical alpha male” who needs to “pee on everything to mark her territory.” Ironic coming from the woman who went to great lengths to wear the same tacky jumpsuit as Vanassa with the express purpose of starting World War Who Cares.
Eddie and LeAnn recently shared their Do’s and Don’ts of Reality TV with the world. I guess one does not need actual viewers to become an expert, because only 374,000 watched the premiere of LeAnn & Eddie. But, hey! Famewhores everywhere thank them for the survival list!
When asked why they chose to do a reality show, LeAnn shared, “We wanted to be home with the kids. That is one of the reasons we explored this whole world. This is us taking our lives back, in a way.” Translation: reality TV is easy money for very little work or effort.
Things kick off at Rob’s apartment. Khloe Kardashian is homeless y’all. I find it hard to believe anyone with an estimated net worth of $18 million could be homeless. Not to mention her mother has a home the size of Disneyland and her step father offered her to crash at his Malibu mansion just last episode. Nice try Khloe, but you my dear are not homeless and I don’t expect to see you at the soup kitchen anytime soon. Khloe and Rob’s relationship is borderline incestuous. Actually it’s not even borderline, it just is. Rob gifts Khloe with sex toys as a welcome present and Khloe announces she will wear lingerie for him. Khloe admits their relationship is like a married couple. I can’t believe I’m going to say this – I’m actually looking forward to Kim taking selfies.
Kai claims that things didn’t go in Melissa and Joe’s favor as several reports claimed after their court hearing last week. He shared the court order and some additional information with us.
Kai says the court hearing wasn’t anything like the news reports claimed. “I got a fair and favorable order by the Judge yesterday. The Judge never said or alleged that Mr. Gorga was getting their property back in 17 days, or the Judge would have ordered an eviction yesterday that would require the removal in 17 days. Nowhere in the order was an eviction granted.”
That was close!! Mario Singer’s ex-mistress — who continues to prove that she may have a little Fatal Attraction-thing going on– tried to confront his very-forgiving wife, Ramona Singer, last week, according to Page Six.
Real Housewives of New York City star, Ramona, was dining at her latest investment venture, restaurant Alfredo 100, when Mario’s former gal-pal apparently made quite a scene trying to confront Ramona, who apparently was saved from the entire situation by the management at the Italian eatery.
It’s nice to know that no matter how many seasons of Real Housewives of New Jersey we have, some things will remain the same. Teresa Giudice will always be delusional, Melissa Gorga will always be pretending to be someone she’s not (i.e. rich), and the fashions will always be an abomination that is almost unbelievable!
While Teresa is in denial about potentially going to prison – and perhaps if you’re headed to prison the only way to get through is to be in denial – she’s planning for Christmas with her daughters. I will say, and I may regret saying this, Teresa seems much more humbled, sincere, and real this season.
All the Jersians are preparing for Christmas in their own way: Dina Manzo has to put the tree outside because her hairless cat Botox is afraid of it or something. Maybe seeing his reflection in the shiny ornaments was traumatizing. Lexi is waiting for college admissions letters, but has her heart set only on NYU. Dina encourages her to throw a rock over a bridge and let go of preconceived notions of destiny. #ZenByBravo Dina needs to stop getting her life tips from old episodes of Dr. Phil.
I know y’all are sad you won’t be seeing Kody Brown’s gorgeous locks, fancy side ponytail, and denim tuxedo for a while, but alas, last night was the season finale of Sister Wives. The family is back in Las Vegas, which means no more road trip hijinks or Kody shiz shows when “someone” forgets to tightly screw in the tube on the camper’s sewage valve. Ahh, memories. Instead, the season’s final episode treated us to yet another family party. These folks have to commemorate every event with a veggie tray and mission statement, that’s for sure.
The family is prepping for a slide show that chronicles the family since Kody’s wedding to Meri up through his (not recognized by law) union with Robyn. Good times! The crafy Browns are also putting together a scrapbook of their journey through the years. Robyn is thrilled because it’s the first album in which she’ll make an appearance. Self-absorbed much? Kody is strutting a blue tooth (what is this 2009?) and that horrible ponytail that makes him look like a cartoon samurai while dodging inquiries from Christine and daughter Aspyn about Robyn’s growing belly. He fumbles over a “no, she’s not pregnant, what are you talking about?” statement while grinning ear to ear. Don’t ever play poker, Kody. Really. Don’t.
After three seasons of family feuding and recycled story lines focused on negativity, have viewers grown tired of RHONJ? Has the magic worn off? Once Bravo’s most popular Housewives franchise the ladies of the garden state have been eclipsed by Georgia peaches as Real Housewives of Atlanta ratings have skyrocketed.
Perhaps viewers don’t believe Bravo that this will finally be a ‘new’ New Jersey. I guess we’ll have to wait and see!