Last night on Vanderpump Rules everyone was obsessed with cheating that wasn't going on.
Things begin with Jax Taylor remembering that he probably would trade Stassi Schroeder in for another psycho. He's modeling for Kitson – male mooodleing is such chaaaaallenging work – especially when you have a famewhore girl model telling you how hot you look.
Actually what really happened is that she saw Jax's tat for Stassi and realized "easy mark" I could swoop in and have sex with this guy and he'd leave Psychossi for me in a heartbeat and then I'd get to be on TeeVee. ME!
Despite wanting Stassi back, Jax is a little vague about whether or not he's in a relationship. I mean I guess it's hard to explain that you let some girl carry your balls around in a pseudo designer bag and then you go vacuum her apartment every single time she gives them a squeeze. I mean the average stranger might not understand the deep and beautiful nature of their love.
It was another drama fueled evening on last night's Love & Hip Hop. The men showed what true class acts they are with Saigon being physically restrained from going after his child's mother and Peter Gunz vowing to do whatever it takes to make sure he keeps both his wife and his girlfriend in his back pocket. At least Rich Dollaz remains his normal doormat self. Thank goodness for small favors!
To get out her aggression, Tara Wallace turns to boxing with Yandy Smith at her cousin's gym. Let's hope he doesn't take any Instagrams of the ladies like last season! Tara shares her own Instagram gold mine where she found Amina Buddafly's videos of Peter. Three glasses of wine later and she's cutting up all of his belongings. Three glasses? I would have only needed three sips to wreak havoc on Peter's gross behind. Tara asks Yandy about the management situation with Amina, and she seems to understand that it's just business. If Yandy wants to sign Amina, Tara knows that it is what it is. However, Yandy doesn't want the mess that signing Amina brings, and she assures her friend that Amina will not be a part of her label.
Saigon wants to get to know Erica Jean better since, oh, you know, they have a CHILD together. He takes her on a painting date to learn more about his baby mama on a deeper level. They chat about how great being parents is, and I have to applaud them for remembering their lines because this is the most fake conversation ever. Paging Jane Seymour–these two are poised to be the next spokespeople for Kaye's Open Hearts Collection. Their kiss seems about as forced as their small talk.
"8th grade drama sounds the same 30 years later," Kyle tells Mauricio. You know it! Time for all y'all ladies to take a little Alice In Wonderland pill and grow the EFF up!
Things begin with Brandi and Carlton Gebbia shopping at Trashy Lingerie. Ahem. Brandi and Carlton verbally molest each other and gush about much they love beautiful women in an innuendo-laden crapfest. But neither of them are lesbians or something.
Brandi is buying lingerie for her non-relationship and wants to bury a crystal to evoke new love. How about bury the past? Not talking about your ex constantly might help welcome someone new into your life!
Oh Mona Scott Young. I love you, but don't treat me like I'm an idiot. Don't get me wrong, I often am an idiot, but I certainly understand what you're trying to do with the Love & Hip Hop franchise…and it's a ratchet equals rating scenario. Don't act like it's anything deeper!
In a recent interview with V103, Mona shares the phenomenon of the series, explaining, “You know, it’s so funny, people have this love/hate, LOVE/HATE relationship with Love & Hip Hop. They love the show, they love the drama; but then they’re mad at the drama and they don’t want to see the fighting. But then they want to see the fighting. It’s like a roller-coaster ride!” I hate to admit it, but she speaks the truth, doesn't she? Gah, Mona! You're killing me!
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Real Housewives of Miami'sJoanna Krupa truly is PETA's princess. Yesterday, the Polish model and reality star sent a letter to Poland Minister of National DefenseTomaszSiemoniak commending him for putting a stop to using animals in the military training of medical personal. Instead, modern human simulators will be replacing animals after almost 30,000 people signed a petition on PETA's website. Not surprisingly, studies show that medical providers trained on the life-like human simulators are better prepared than those who learned on dismembered animals.
Poland now joins more than 80 percent of NATO countries that do not harm animals in the name of training. The U.S. has yet to make the switch. Of the news, Joanna states, "The U.S. is so progressive in so many ways, but in this instance, the Old Country has it beat. I am so proud of my homeland for taking such a strong stand against cruelty to animals."
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO READ JOANNA'S LETTER!
Lisa's integrity is also being questioned left and right – including whether or not she fake fainted on Dancing With The Stars last season. Well Lisa is fighting back by throwing some serious shade and also finally stooping to the levels of her co-stars and bashing them on Twitter. Well at least bashing by re-tweet! Hey the masses have spoken: Kyle and Brandi are behaving like super twats brats!
"I am disappointed but not surprised to see how gleefully Kyle initiated the conversation of my last performance on DWTS. It was as if they relished me being voted off DWTS," Lisa writes in her Bravo blog about the ladies discussing her in the limo on the way to Carlton Gebbia's luncheon.