Yesterday the cast of Vanderpump Rules hopped on a parade float to act atrociously on slow-motion wheels. The result was horrific.
Things begin with Lisa Vanderpump preparing for the annual SUR gay pride parade float which cues the return of Kevin Lee who was remarkably subdued this episode. Did he get a lobotomy or were Stassi Schroder and Scheana Marie too annoying for me to notice?
Lisa has a meeting in her backyard to let everyone know they’ll be impersonating angels on the float – all the boys are wearing Victoria’s Secret fashion show cast off wings and Scheana will be shaking her angel-ish-ishy a$$ in a pair of micro-wings. Oh and she’ll be singing. “Singing”. She’s overjoyed. Everyone else dies a slow sinking death.
Every time Scheana autotunes a note, an angel looses its wings and falls from grace! Lisa holds a staff meeting to inform her little devils that they will be undertaking the acting role of their lifetimes. Oh and to remind everyone that Ariana is here to stay and all the rumors better hush-hush or Lisa will force them all to go to hell, which is Stassi’s house when she’s out of wine and stabbing her Jax Taylor voodoo doll repeatedly and having flashbacks of her pre-chinplant days. The. Horror.
Kim Kardashian took a lot of heat recently when she put up some eBay auctions and shared that the proceeds were being donated to help victims of the typhoon in the Philippines. But it was discovered that just 10% of the auction was earmarked for the charity and fans criticized her. Kim took to her Celebuzz blog to defend herself over the controversy, using her mom's church and her other charitable acts as examples.
Kim wrote, "I feel compelled to speak about something that is in my head and my heart. Over the years, I’ve had to grow a thick skin. Being in the public eye, there are times I feel like I get criticized for any and everything I do. I’m used to it now. I just choose not to feed into negativity or become consumed by it. The problem comes in when I get attacked for giving and trying to help people. My dad always taught me the importance of giving back. I don’t publicize everything I do to help charities and people all over the world. I do it because I want to. I do because my dad taught me to. I do it because it’s the right thing to do. So for people to attack me for giving 10% of my eBay auction sales to the people of the Philippines, that hurts."
It was the first Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vacation last night and true to form it was like a game of Clue with whodunit and why, with what, where and WTF?
Last night's metaphorical Housewives slayer was none other than Brandi Glanville who could hold neither her alcohol or her tongue. Although she did start out by telling us all the things she likes to do with her tongue or have a tongue to do her when she conducted a little market research for her new book. Yep, sex, wine, and Brandi again… *yawn*
Over at Joyce Giraud's house she's preparing for Palm Springs with a fashion show. Joyce's closet is beautiful. And it houses the entire GoldenGirls wardrobe department archives, including several pair of reproduction hibiscus print culottes.
Updated below! Well, it's always nice to share some news of reality stars giving back to the community, and everyone seems to be in the charitable spirit this time of year. It's enough to make a Scrooge like me put away her Bah-Humbugs and finish decorating the tree!
Braxton Family Values stars–and sassy sisters–Traci, Towanda, and Trina Braxton are going to be on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with Cedric the Entertainer tonight and tomorrow night to raise awareness and money for the organization Saving Our Daughters, an anti-bullying campaign.
So last night's Love & Hip Hop was one giant mess, was it not? Peter Gunz keeps getting worse and worse, and the women in his life have got to be the best actresses on the planet because there is no way that they are that stupid. Throw in K. Michelle's attitude, and my head is reeling. You know it's bad when Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena are the sanest folks on the episode!
Saigon invites Erica Jean to the studio to apologize for screaming at her, throwing her pocketbook, lunging at her, calling her every name under the book, and accusing her of stunting their son's development. No biggie. He explains that his father was always so ugly to his mother and it made him hate his dad. He doesn't want his son to see him treating Erica in the same manner. Erica is thrilled that Saigon has seen the light, and he actually rationally and calmly inquires as to whether she'd be alright if they both took their son to see a speech therapist. He knows his son is fine (he's clearly been doing some more googling!), but it can't hurt to see a specialist. Just think of the drama they could have avoided had he done it that way the first time!
I feel like I need to pull out my Sweet Valley High slam book for the fiasco that was Sunday'sReal Housewives of Atlanta. Most likely to spend her life barefoot and pregnant? Oh, wait, she left the show for her own spin-off…Best looking? Let's ask the folks over at Miss America USA if pretty is as crazy does. As for biggest mouth, I think we can all agree that NeNe Leakes will own what she says–and twist it accordingly to serve her purpose.
This week the Neenster got into a war of words with Phaedra Parks and her special skills. While I'm sure she was known for her oral arguments in law school, NeNe insinuated that Phaedra had other oral accomplishments back in high school. Ladies, ladies, can't we all just get along?
While they hung out by the pool in Palm Springs, Joyce revealed that she can't swim, which prompted Brandi to fire off with "you're a black person". Brandi then tried to jokingly explain that her black friends would've laughed at that because they, too, won't get in the water, fearing getting their weaves wet. Brandi's castmates were shocked by her generalizations and fans reacted, calling her a racist.
Andy Cohen said to Brandi, "As you can imagine I got a buttload of Tweets for you, wanting to know what you were thinking. Kenya Moore, Atlanta Housewife Tweeted 'not all black women wear hair weaves, half the women on Beverly Hills Housewives are wearing some fake hair. Brandi could not be more ignorant.' "