Joyce Giraud is fed up with Carlton Gebbia and her shenanigans. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star slams Carlton, calling her a hypocrite, accusing her of trying to stay relevant and more! Joyce shares in her Bravo blog this week that she's not sorry one bit for missing another dinner party from hell and she gives more insight on her lunch with Carlton.
Joyce starts off explaining that we didn't see the whole lunch date conversation between her and Carlton. "I wish you could have seen a little more of my hour-long luncheon with Carlton. Let me fill you in on a VERY IMPORTANT part of our conversation: The first thing I told Carlton and made very clear is that I personally DO NOT believe her negative energy can get to me because my God protects me from all of it. As you saw, I told her I respect every religion. I believe we can all respect each other's beliefs and we don't need to force our faith on anyone. I'm not asking Carlton to leave her witchcraft and to believe in Jesus Christ — so she should give me the same respect and not expect me to believe in her negative spells."
She tells the magazine, "I had my official last chemo treatment, and while I'm hesitant to say I'm cancer-free – maybe that's common for people who have had cancer – I'm doing great. Everything is moving in the right direction. I am very excited."
Just when you think the twists on Vanderpump Rules can't get any twistier – they do! Now the entire plotline is like one of those loop-de-loop straws where you go cross-eyed trying to watch the liquid wind through the twists and curves. It sure makes for exciting TV, though!
Things begin with the annual SUR photoshoot. The theme is always endless summer because what is SUR if it's not attractive near-naked people doing Vegas-y things, which is what everyone wants near their food.
Kristen Doute is not participating because she's practically fired for her antics last week and the week before and the week before… and basically since the land before time. Lisa Vanderpump really doesn't care if Kristen bangs Jax Taylor, but she better not bring her hoochie drama into Lisa's restaurant. Lisa has lines, and although those lines are twistier and blurry-er than a bendy straw, they are there.
Lisa's other concern, besides Kristen's behavior, is Jax's lack of remorse over the entire thing. He's at the photoshoot flaunting his pecs and bragging about how the male modelizer is baaack baby! Not quite. True Fact: I remember seeing Jax in Vogue in days of yore. It sure is a shame that he has destroyed his looks. He should just get on with his inevitable destiny of marrying Lindsay Lohan and having some trainwreck reality show starring Dr. Drew Fakesy.
Last night Carlton Gebbia really let the witch out of the bag – flying broomsticks, evil spells, creepy crystal floral talismans and all!
Kyle Richards andLisa Vanderpump are friends-ish again. Well at least for the sake of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills purposes. Since Ken and Mauricio truly are friends, Kyle and Lisa decide to get together with Kevin Lee (!!) to throw a joint birthday party. Oh Kevin Lee… let's discuss what's going on atop your head: part Brillo pad, part tasered porcupine: too much hair gel, mmmkay.
As Lisa and Kyle divvy up the guest list Kyle gets all porcupiney – she just wants to know why there's gotta be teams allocating who invites whom.
UGH – let's just take a moment to discuss Kyle. Listen, Kyle was annoying me the whole episode: she kept making her little snarky comments, making everything into a bigger deal than it was, and sneaking in shade while acting like everything was fine – basically she was Splits-ing. But then CARLTON! Snarlton… SNARLTON with her Wicked Witch of The Valley complete with California Raisin face had to go all wicca-wacka and made me feel bad for Kyle. There's more to Kyle's witchiness than her fondness for flowing robes, but compared to Snarlton, Kyle is a sweet innocent.
"Mostly, they bum around Los Angeles sleeping with each other’s partners, drinking too much and squabbling endlessly, but at the end of the day, they’re all just lost kids with failed dreams who work in the service industry and happen to be trailed by a production crew."
This line is from a recent Time article, and may I say that it's pure genius and totally accurate. That's right, we're getting high-brow up in here! The piece is on the crew from Vanderpump Rules and seeks to explain viewers' fascination with mean girl Stassi Schroeder, man whore Jax Taylor, and the rest of Lisa Vanderpump's attractive SUR minions. It's certainly my guilty pleasure and last night's finale was everything I hoped for and more!
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have…a day in the life of Kim Kardashian? It takes a lot out of this poor gal to wear crop tops and change her hair color, but she's learned to take the good with the bad.
For example, Kim finally had a spot of good luck when her teenaged identity thief was brought to justice, but, on the flip side, it turns out that the rumor she was posing for the cover of Vogue was just that…a rumor. Add that together with the fact that she decide whether she has more fun as a blonde, and it's already quite a week for Miss Kimmie.