Reality Tea

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The Monday reality TV viewer numbers are in and they're not too shabby! 

Basketball Wives is back with a bang!  The season 5 premiere episode pulled in 2.39 million viewers.  Now let's just hope that the audience wasn't turned off by the hour long 'woe is Evelyn' fest.  I don't mean to be cold hearted, but it was a bit much and I hope they don't plan to dwell in it all season.

The Real Housewives of Orange County saw a small dip in fans tuning in for part two of this three part reunion extravaganza.  That said, the show is still holding strong above 2 million, with 2.03 million viewers this week. 

Real Housewives of Miami continues to be the least watched show in the franchise, but it held last week's audience – sticking with 1.3 million tuning in again this week. 

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It's time for the spin cycle–Real Housewives of New Jersey edition!  On the heels of Melissa Gorga's blog about some chick she barely knew a bazillion years ago, now we're getting Teresa Giudice's version.  You have to love how Tre (or her Bravo blog ghostwriter) makes her look like an innocent bystander who just loves and supports her sister-in-law as she navigates this crazy world of reality fame!  If I was Andy Cohen, and this was my clubhouse, the drinking words would be "best friends!"

Of her take on Melissa's experience at her launch party, Teresa writes, "I was sorry that Melissa got into a fight with one of her best friends at the launch party. For the record, I didn't invite Jan or Penny. The party was open to any salon owners who called in and spoke with the Youthful 8 company reps. As soon as I found out Jan had RSVPed, I called Melissa to warn her and make sure she would be OK with it. If Melissa didn't want them to come, believe me, I would have uninvited them immediately!"  I believe that, don't you?

Teresa continues, "I don't really know Jan, I just know she was one of Melissa's best girlfriends, and they were in each other's wedding. I have no idea why Jan and Melissa would have a falling out, but like I said in my interview on the show, I have Melissa's back…When Jan and Melissa were talking, I was right there to make sure it didn't get out of hand. My brother was right there too, and he wasn't upset, shrugging it off as crazy talk, so I did too. My main concern was that Melissa knew I was there for her."  Really?  I don't believe Melissa as far as I could throw her, but it appeared to me that Teresa didn't want to leave because she didn't want anyone to say something she wasn't expecting…

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I am so confused as to what Lifetime is trying to pull with this season of Dance Moms.  Not only has it lasted almost a decade already, but Abby Lee Miller bounces on and off the show like hyper kid on a trampoline!  What is going on here?

Last night's episode began as Melissa busts into Abby's house and she's decked out in a bathrobe and a towel.  Abby's mom isn't doing very well, and she may not make it to the pyramid again.  Melissa shares that Maddie misses her dance teacher, but Abby is adamant that her needs come first (and I don't blame her with a very sick mother).  As Abby shares her hardships, Melissa is in tears…but Melissa is promised that Maddie will be dancing a solo at Nationals.

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The film set of

Photo Credit: Ivan Nikolov/Wenn

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Indictment drama is not translating into new viewers for The Real Housewives of New Jersey, as the show's audience declined again this week!  Another 200,000 fans tuned out the show this Sunday, bringing it down to 2.2 million watchers.

Brody Jenner Keeping Up with the Kardashians continues to reel in a decent sized viewership again this week, seeing a small downward turn, but overall is holding steady this season with an average of more than 2.5 million.  This week the show pulled in 2.74 million fans who aren't as sick of the Kardashian-Jenners as they proclaim.

Those 200,000 RHONJ fans who jumped ship must've headed over to watch Hollywood Exes instead because the show saw a bump from 623,000 last week to 814,000 this week!  Not too shabby considering the big mistake of moving it to Sunday night. 

Lastly, more than 2 million of you tuned in to swoon over Kody Brown's lovely locks on Sister Wives this week.

Take a look at the full week-by-week numbers below!

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Is there anyone on the cast of Below Deck who doesn't have a mugshot?

​Last week, C.J. Lebeau was arrested for assault and this week it emerges that his fling Samantha "Sam" Orme has a record herself! Way back in 2006 when she had just a budding dream of being a rocket scientist and sending Adrienne into space for insubordination #sarcasm, Sam got popped for a DUI. 

Sam was arrested in Tallahassee, Florida while she was an undergrad at Florida State University. Sam was 18 at the time and got caught using a fake ID and driving drunksee! 

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I just can't figure out what's going on with Real Housewives of Miami. It's like in a desperate bid to be as good as all the other shows, they scrambled to switch everything up – giving me no sense of security here.

On top of that, I think I'm Weddings by Bravo'd out. I mean on top of Tamra Barney and NeNe Leakes' big spinoffs we're now inundated with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa planning weddings and bickering about weddings and out-weddings each other and weddings, weddings, weddings… Maybe we can just pull a Sister Wives, lump all the Bravo brides together, and throw them with one man. I nominate Andy Cohen to be tied to these broads for life. Payback's a bitch!

So last night Joanna and Romain Zago had the big talk. You know, the prenup one. In a pseudo intimate moment in which Joanna's minimalist makeup was applied to perfection, they had breakfast in bed and argued, over freshly cut fruit, that Romain was going into wedding planning by planning his divorce. Um… he's agreeing to marry JOANNA. 

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Bravo Events - 2013

It seems Melissa Gorga changes her stories faster than she changes her lipgloss. I mean, one minute Jan is her BFF and they were in each other's weddings and the cheating allegation is the ultimate betrayal. And in the next minute, like in her recent blog, they were only friends for like a hot second 300 years ago. 

So that means one of two things: Melissa didn't have any real-real friends to stack her bridal party with or she's lying about the nature of her relationship with Jan! Whatever the case, like all things Real Housewives of New Jersey, it doesn't add up! 

According to our source Melissa is intent on continuing the "victim act" at all costs. "She just wants to blame Teresa for everything," our source tells us exclusively. "Melissa really needs a story line." What – you mean writing a marriage bible and staging a J. Faux pop star career isn't enough?! <gasp>

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