Reality Tea

Well, well, well… Alexis Bellino and Gretchen Rossi have officially broken the Blomb Squad (that’s dumb and blonde). Last night on the Real Housewives of Orange County the rain continued to pour in the jungle as Alexis found herself in the middle of an onslaught. And poor Gretchen got cast aside as Lex’s resident BFF after Alexis determined that she too was involved in the attacks. Oh, the politics of being a Housewife.

We continue where left off with the face-off round the dinner table. The rain makes me think that all of Costa Mexico is crying on Alexis‘ behalf. Alexis reminds Tamra Barney that though she may believe she’s perfect, being a mean hateful bitch makes her flawed too. Alexis suggests Tammie Sue work on her own issues before pointing fingers her way. Like Alexis or not, she has a good point.

Alexis snipes that just because Tamra got her implants taken out doesn’t mean she’s real. Touche. And Vicki Gunvalson pipes up to remind us that all of them are fake as designers imposters perfume and that all these ladies are materialistic – that’s why they’re rocking LV and Chanel in the jungle. Alexis accuses Tamra of badmouthing her which is why Terry thought she was fake – Tamra denies it. Sadly, it was actually Gretchen who was badmouthing Alexis behind her back to Terry.

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See kids, when you declare your love on television, it doesn’t always make people want to be associated with you. Case in point: Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada and football / similarly attention addicted Chad Ochocinco are shopping around the Miami area for a wedding location for their spin-off and are being turned down!

TMZ reports that due to the massive amounts of drama and foolishness associated with Basketball Wives, they don’t want the reality television aura ruining their good floors and china. So far, the list of hotels who have turned them down include the Ritz, the St. Regis and Breakers. Yikes!

May I recommend Chad and Evelyn keep it simple and perhaps get married in their backyard? The show is currently filming, with the couple due to get married next month.

TELL US: ARE YOU SURPRISED THE COUPLE ARE HAVING A HARD TIME FINDING A LOCATION? WOULD YOU LET THEM GET MARRIED IN YOUR HOUSE?

It honestly may be Christmas in June. Thank you Real Housewives of Orange County!  A little nugget known as Jim Bellino’s chin blog has officially made my day.  In excerpts from a post written at the beginning of May, he interviews himself.  It’s brilliant.  Technically, he’s not the one who generated the questions, but he’s certainly answering them in pure Jimbo fashion.

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Yesterday, Mrs. Kim Zolciak-Biermann had a long day of communicating with TMZ. First a source close to her told the gossip site that she was certainly NOT being evicted as previously reported. And although Kim told everyone at the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion that she was “closing” on her “dream house,” she and hubby Kroy Biermann have since changed their mind, citing the $3M listing price was over-valued by a million dollars.

Kim also said her landlord/interior decorator, the formidable Kendra Davis, threatened to evict her after she walked away from the purchase deal and then Kendra started bad-mouthing her on Twitter. This was after Kim started badmouthing her on Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding (and Twitter) of course!

Now there have been many rumors about Kim‘s attempt to purchase said mansion – namely that she and Kroy couldn’t get approved for the $2.5M mortgage required to buy the property. Of course we don’t have access to Kim’s bank account, so we have no idea if that’s true, but that’s the tea that was spilled.

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It’s once again time for Dr. Drew Pinsky and his diluted and passive advice to this past season’s crop of 16 & Pregnant girls.  Yes, it’s Life After Labor, y’all, and it’s an hour and a half!  He touts the triumphs and challenges of the most recent teen moms, and, as you all know, we’re treated to quite an emotional video montage.

Briana, who graduated high school a year early (the girl whose sister had an abortion around the same time Briana got pregnant) is first on Dr. Drew’s sofa.  She’s still sporting her adorable cropped haircut.  She’s joined by her mother and sister.  Everyone is crying.  Her mother is devastated, saying it’s not the path she wanted for her daughters.  Her sister seems very defensive when answering Drew’s questions about her abortion.  More tears.  She’s worried her family will feel guilty for her actions.  Briana cries saying she had to give up school, and all of her friends have abandoned her.

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News flash!  Brandi Glanville of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is not, I repeat IS NOT, a mean girl.  Like, in no way, shape, or form, has fame gone to her head, and she is just as down to earth as she was when she was in a plane, season two, high on Xanax.  That’s how down to earth she is.

RadarOnline.com is reporting that Brandi is very troubled by the recent gossip of her diva behavior.  However, a source close to Bravo (where else?) tells the site that Brandi is playing for the cameras for more of a story line.

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She’s ba-ack!  It’s Abby Lee Miller, suckers!  I am a bit frightened watching the highlights from last season’s original Dance Moms.  I had forgotten who intense it was!

The girls and moms are ready for the pyramid, and the women are polling the kids as to who will thinks Abby will apologize for storming out in the past season’s finale.  The girls know that she won’t.  Holly thinks Abby ditched the troupe at competition because poor Maddie forgot her dance, and Holly finds Abby’s behavior deplorable.  It’s interesting to watch this after Dance Moms: Miami, where the instructors were so nurturing to the kids…they just (rightfully) thought the moms were insane!

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It deeply saddens me to report this news, as I take it as a sign that Amber Portwood has given up hope. The Teen Mom star was just sentenced to five years in prison after asking an Indiana judge to reimpose her original sentence.

Amber has had a string of legal issues – most of them related to her substance abuse – recently she was participating in a drug treatment and sobriety program in exchange for serving jail time, but after she was kicked out of the program for missing too many requirements after a gallbladder surgery she decided to do jail time instead of campaigning to be reinstated.

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