Reality Tea

This week's "throwback" episode of Top Chef Seattle brings us drama, beef, a pair of pissed off glasses, a foot rub, a tightly wound mustache, mushrooms, and a double elimination.

Immediately following Kuniko Yagi's Turkeypocalypse elimination, John "my forehead needs glasses" Tesar disses Kuniko's raw potatoes. He says, "You can do potatoes in your sleep as a chef." John's negativity puts everyone on the defense.

C.J. Jacobson is like, Dude, why you gotta do this while we're pretending to be sad about Kuniko going home? John is like, She had five hours to taste those potatoes! And, by the way, you're full of s**t right now. Feeling left out in Seattle, Josh "my mustache is twisty" Valentine tells John that he doesn't have any tact, and then this happens:

Glasses: And Oklahoma has a lot of tact?

Mustache: You’re an a**hole.
Glasses: Thank you.
Mustache: Don’t f***ing say another word to me. There’s a reason you’re the most hated chef. It’s cause you’re a prigg. (does he say prigg or prick?)
Glasses: I’m not a prick. (Ah, prigg is Oklahoman for prick.. filing that away for future reference. John and Josh fail Communication 101.) I’m truthful.

This exclusive info makes us smile!  Our favorite mustached Shahs of Sunset star Reza Farahan will no longer have to endure those awkward blind dates with baby-faced boys named Cheyenne!  No more watching out for the 'To Catch a Predator' camera crew to spring out from around the corner!  Our Reza has found a man and he sounds like a keeper! 

Reza has been dating his new beau, Adam Neely, for more than a year now!  Reza is a good secret keeper, y'all.  Our source tells us that Reza and Adam met at the gym and have been going strong ever since. 


Does Patti Stanger have some serious dirt on a Bravo head-honcho? She must! Because despite seasons of middling ratings, absolutely zero successful matches, and scathing fan reactions The Millionaire Matchmaker has been renewed for a sixth season! 

According to the Bravo write-up, this season will represent " a new chapter for Patti" who's had even more plastic surgery because she's now focused on finding love for herself. Let's see if Patti can put her own rules to work! 

In addition to searching for love, Patti is also searching for her own past. "While not only finding love for herself, she also uncovers unforeseen information about her birth parents that makes her approach relationships in a whole new way."


That title cracks me up because it could probably be said of MANY of the Real Housewives.  Today's (not so) blind item comes from Crazy Days and Nights.  This is probably one of the easiest blind items ever. 

"This real housewife recently went on vacation. She wants the world to think the family has plenty of money and that the luxury vacation proves it. Reality is that the vacation was paid for by a company in exchange for photos to be sold and the family is more broke than they have ever been and if not for the show would probably be living at the in-laws house."

I'm biting my tongue because this one is pretty much a no-brainer if you've been watching Twitter over the past week or so. 




Photo Credit: Adriana M. Barazza

This has been a tough week for Bobbi Kristina! Apparently Bobbi and adopted brother/boyfriend Nick Gordon have decided to announce the end of their engagement on twitter! 

"@REALbkBrown and I are not engaged or dating. Just close like we have always been," Nick tweeted. Hours later The Houstons: On Our Own star announced the couple/friends/siblings/video game partners were hanging out together. 

Perhaps Bobbi wasn't aware of Nick's plans at the time, because days later she posted a couple cryptic tweets alluding to the single-girl life. Which may be a good thing for the 19-year-old! "I'm leaving , this this good ole town and driving to the send of the world . Maybe it's beautiful there (: Xxxo," she mused. "I guess it's time 4me2stop depending on anymore." 


So yeah, this post is going to give me nightmares.  I am totally freaked out by the paranormal.  I have seen a ghost zero times…I have never had any kind of creepy encounter, but I did baby-sit for a family in college (the type of family who would NEVER believe in ghosts) who totes knew they lived in a haunted house.  It was the old gallows house (the hanging tree was still in the backyard) and later a hospital during the Civil War.  Their young sons would often talk of the "man in the white coat" until they got to the age where things you couldn't see didn't exist.  They had countless happenings in that house that couldn't be explained by anything normal.  I get chills just thinking about it, but they were such sweet kids.  I hope college is treating them well.  #old

Anyway, I am equal parts intrigued and terrified of ghost stories.  Give me Kiss the Girls on repeat in the middle of the night with a known murderer on the loose than The Ring at 9am surrounded by puppies and friends.  Weird, I know.  Every now and then I like to scare myself silly with a random episode of A Haunting during the middle of the day, but those times are few and far between.  Long Island Medium is about as supernatural as my television watching gets, and I'll admit I'm addicted. 

That said, the Syfy Channel has just announced three new shows that I'll likely be watching in broad daylight with one hand covering my eyes.  Curses!  Admittedly, I want to watch each of them…with the lights on, of course!


Yawn.  It's like the most dramatic rose ceremony Kim Kardashian divorce ever.  How is it possible that the divorce proceedings are lasting three times as long as the actual marriage.  Why oh why can't Kim just admit that her marriage to Kris Humphries was for her reality show and spare us all the endless gossip and back and forth of this silly divorce?  I mean, part of me is glad she isn't…I like my job, but we all know Kim didn't really want to marry him for real life purposes.  The girl changes boyfriends/potential fiancés/randoms who may or may not be willing to walk down the aisle with her as often as I brush my teeth…and I have excellent oral hygiene.  Never had a cavity!

What bothers me most about this divorce isn't the ridiculousness of it all or even the drawn out nature and pettiness from both sides.  It is this:  The whole thing could be over and done with if Kim would just admit the marriage was for show.  Kris gets none of her fortune regardless…her prenup bars him recovery in the event of a divorce, and if there was never any marriage (which would happen with Kris' desired annulment), he has no basis for monetary gain there either.  You can't get alimony if you never had a marriage.  Sure, I guess they could find the prenup void and the marriage valid, but that doesn't work for the premise of my argument.  :) 

All Kris wants her to do is tell everyone what we already know…the wedding was for ratings.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I mean, she is literally laughing in our faces, thinking we are stupid enough to believe that it was a fairytale romance.  We watch your show, Kim.  You have more chemistry with the doormen of whatever building in whatever city you happen to be living in currently than you did with Kris.  Basically, I just don't like being played for a fool.  Kim, quietly admit to what we all already know and be done with it.  It could actually help your sad image more than the path you're choosing.  Off my soapbox and on to the divorce drama…thanks for indulging me!


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